The Delete Your Account Tumblr is dedicated to the weird and regrettable ways we expressed ourselves online as teens. Submit the best of your online worst to our Open Call, and join us in NYC on 8/26 for a live event.
A few choice excerpts of importance: Livejournal; 2003-2006. Ages 14-16.
Mostly I wrote imploringly to musicians who would never hear me, and said “I hate boys, wait, no, I love them.”
[24 Oct 2006|11:28pm][mood|grrrrrrrrah]
I do not trust Ben Gibbard.
Not after hearing that fucking mushaboom cover done by postal service.
ohhhhhhh boy he’s not my friend.
i always thought he would do something like this.
ben gibbard, we are fighting!
haiku day[25 Jun 2005|04:01am][mood|drained]
i have been waiting
in the silence! for the day
when i update this.
Sufjan Stevens oh
I will never get over
you. Honestly, yo.
(No matter what those
hipster hoochies say on My
Space. With their dumb pix.)
dizzy gillespie
with you, nights in tunisia
would be so absurd.
I like spencer tons.
that sounds like a unit of
measurment. (it’s not.)
Now, I like to knit.
It used to be a burden.
Knit one Purl my soul.
I hope there is sun
Tomorrow when I frolic
in the fields outside.
I want to play Civ
But where is my posse at?
All fluttering birds.
This is pretty dumb.
But so easy and inter
esting i guess…not.
Get bent, Get bent, Get
BENT! get BENT get bent. g.et. bennnnnt.
get bent. GET b. ent! ENT!
—————
[18 Dec 2003|06:31pm][mood|high]
IT’S OFFICIAL
PAVEMENT IS STILL THE BEST BAND IN THE WORLD.Â
I ALMOST HAD A FREAKING SPAZ ATTACK.Â
AND OMGomgomg I HAVE A CELL PHONE NOW! THIS IS so RAD.
Where did your online presence begin? It is a question people ask themselves every day as they get trapped in an infinite feedback loop of social media. Lesser accounts shared on greater accounts, how did it come to this? Fortunately there is a group located in a super-secret location in Manhattan, specifically at 2180 3rd Ave, New York, New York 10035 coming together to try and shine some light on this difficult topic.
The life of the online presence is a fascinating one. Early on in the life of an online presence there are a lot of kinks to work out. Origin stories are one of the exciting parts of an online presence’s career. Usually online presences get paid in tens, sometimes hundreds, of cents throughout their not particularly lucrative careers. Perhaps most intriguing is the many permutations of an online presence which in many ways mirror the experiences the presence has as they mature from troll to a post-troll figure.
Post-troll is what happens when the joy of trolling ends. Everybody starts out as a troll. The world needs them to some degree. Some never really go beyond troll as being a troll is a particular unique online experience. Even more start their online presence as lurkers, those who have accounts for the sole purpose of following more prolific accounts. For these individuals the world is a place that they feel the need to shadow.
Online presences began long ago in a world with slower internet connections. Those initial sites are full of embarrassing things. Plenty of those sites are now fully abandoned. Myspace is the Detroit of the Internet with the pages recalling individuals in their teens and early twenties ready for excitement. Songs play instantly on those sites welcoming the few that continue to roam, lost in an Internet that has passed them by.
Few ever look back on those early days of their internet usage. They forgot what made their work so spectacular. With those first steps they began a career that continued onward into the future. Lots of lines written, journal entries shared with the world, and they were mere practice for what was to come much later. The nice thing about these early attempts is is they are all cached. With the rare instances when someone was foolish (smart) enough to delete them, they are still there waiting for a new set of eyes.
This is the purpose of this reading: to celebrate the baby steps of a beautiful bouncing addiction to the internet.
Holy shit. These are from 1999-2001...? The website I made in high school and updated through my second year of college is still live on tripod. I had the grace to go back and kill my LJ and the link to it while I still knew the passwords.
My friends and I made websites when we were 13 - they were hosted for free on Angelfire. Only 2 of 4 are still live (now with tons of ads), but they included lots of fun animated gifs!
"I got really stoned last night, and blair bothered me beyond belief.
i've never seen him intoxicated before and i realize i never need to
again because that was ENOUGH. part of me wanted to end anything i had
with him immediately and the other half of me pondered "maybe if i
make out with him, he'll shut the fuck up?" well i was wrong. gah.
obnoxious sixteen year old boy. olga was piss drunk and had fucking
MONO and she was a pain in the ass, completely ruining my vibe, the
whole entire prokrovsky gang ruined friday night and my high for me. i
fell asleep at like 9:00 and took a gypsy cab with two fellow
rosinkers and passed out in my bed. i have a shitload of homework to
do tomorrow. oh well. "
The sun is dead.
It sunk with the absurdity
of a shovel without dirt.
Disobediance was born
and the light was a poetic burlesque
in the conflicted night.
The moon liberated a pious grave
while a philosopher ate
his metallic spoon.
There was a house fly
in his black eye
waving with a fatal disposition.
I saved time when
I canceled my life preserver.
But, like the sun is leathery,
I am dead.
And I don’t see the flash when
the undertaker takes my picture.
the time i had a long AIM chat session with a guy in the grade above me who really, really, really, just wanted to sleep with me
*I kept a record of AIM convos I deemed important to preserve as drafts in blogger (I coded my own html site for my blog and used blogger to power it, screw livejournal!)
*People’s names have been changed but kept the screen names bc they are perfect
*Underage sex is discussed in detail
*Extremely painful to read bc the guy is so lame
*The best part is towards the end when I tried to share a funny video but he couldn’t watch it bc he didn’t have quicktime bc his dad “would be pissed” if he download it. lol technology.
TBonez9er: zoe whats happenin
fairy418: not too much tom, what about you?
TBonez9er: not very much
TBonez9er: how was the trip?
fairy418: it was pretty good. the people there werent too great but walking around UT was entertaining
TBonez9er: fun stuff
fairy418: how was your weekend?
TBonez9er: fun
TBonez9er: matts parents were outta town so we had a good time
fairy418: awesome
TBonez9er: shoulda been there
fairy418: maybe next time
TBonez9er: maybe so…
TBonez9er: so whatre ur plans this weekend?
fairy418: not too sure yet, its only monday
TBonez9er: this is true
TBonez9er: im not thinking correctly
fairy418: youre thinking just fine
TBonez9er: so r u always so quiet?
fairy418: im not quiet at all
fairy418: well.. i take that back
fairy418: im quiet sometimes
TBonez9er: i see
fairy418: i think youre quietier than i am
fairy418: if quietier is a word
TBonez9er: i am quiet
TBonez9er: this is true
TBonez9er: well only sometimes
fairy418: we have soemthing in common then
TBonez9er: yes we do
TBonez9er: so zoe…
fairy418: yes tom?
TBonez9er: i dunno
TBonez9er: i was hoping a conversation would spark from those two words
fairy418: ahhh i see
fairy418: :-P
TBonez9er: haha
TBonez9er: any ideas?
TBonez9er: our conversations go quite well outside of sexual themes
fairy418: we could play 21 questions i suppose
TBonez9er: ok u start
TBonez9er: haha
fairy418: ooooook lemme think…
fairy418: whens your birthday?
TBonez9er: july 16
fairy418: okay this is where you ask a question
TBonez9er: ok riight
TBonez9er: i didnt know we went back and forth my b
fairy418: haha
TBonez9er: um…
TBonez9er: how old r u?
fairy418: 17
fairy418: whats your favorite color?
TBonez9er: orange or blue
TBonez9er: o sorry
TBonez9er: shit
TBonez9er: how old were u when u lost the v-card
fairy418: haha its okay
fairy418: i was 15
TBonez9er: ok
fairy418: hmm.. lets see
fairy418: whats youre favorite song right now?
TBonez9er: ooo toughy
TBonez9er: i cant answer that
TBonez9er: thats too hard
fairy418: aaaaawwww
TBonez9er: ok ok
TBonez9er: id say pedro
TBonez9er: bc i just burnt it on a cd
TBonez9er: bad diarys
fairy418: niiice
TBonez9er: ok um..
TBonez9er: what r u doing this weekend?
TBonez9er: hahaha
fairy418: ha, um nothing so far
fairy418: are your parents together or divorced
TBonez9er: divorced
TBonez9er: what are my chances with u?
fairy418: dont know yet
TBonez9er: hm… is that a real answer?
fairy418: yes because ive never really spent any time with you, and i cannot give a real answer till i do
TBonez9er: this is true
TBonez9er: ok
TBonez9er: u know what ur sister came up and said to me friday?
fairy418: what?
TBonez9er: ur the guy who wants to shower with my sister
fairy418: WHAAAAT?????!
fairy418: how did she know?
TBonez9er: she said u told her
fairy418: i definately did not
TBonez9er: i dunno then
TBonez9er: not sure how else she would
fairy418: she might have been reading our convo…. she does that sometimes.
TBonez9er: i see
TBonez9er: ok ur turn on the question
fairy418: what is craziest thing you did recently?
fairy418: *what is the
TBonez9er: when into an abandoned crack lookin house at three in morning wasted out of my mind with only 3 friends
TBonez9er: seriously this place was huge and scary
fairy418: whoa! why on earth would you do that?
TBonez9er: it was back in the woods and had a hanger attached to it and a huge dark green house
TBonez9er: i dunno
TBonez9er: we were drunk and bored
fairy418: a hanger?
TBonez9er: like 3 huge garages that could fit like a semi
TBonez9er: each could fit a semi
fairy418: geeze
TBonez9er: and there were like red hand prints running down walls and shit
TBonez9er: it was freaky
fairy418: thats so crazy
TBonez9er: yeah
fairy418: soo… its youre turn
TBonez9er: it is
TBonez9er: ok yeah it is
TBonez9er: um…
fairy418: ha
TBonez9er: my questions always seem on the sexual side
TBonez9er: i think i have a problem
fairy418: youre a guy
fairy418: its normal
TBonez9er: so girls dont talk about sex?
fairy418: we do.. just not as often
TBonez9er: i see
fairy418: but then, the ones that are still virgins dont talk so much about stuff like that
TBonez9er: well i havent heard u talk about it yet
fairy418: would you like to talk about it then?
TBonez9er: up to u
fairy418: its fine by me
TBonez9er: okey dokey
TBonez9er: haha
fairy418: and since its your turn and all, you get to ask first
TBonez9er: hm.. ok
TBonez9er: well have u ever showered with a guy before or just thought about it
fairy418: i have twice
TBonez9er: ok
fairy418: have you ever showered with a girl?
TBonez9er: once
TBonez9er: how far do u go with the whole shower thing?
fairy418: the first time we were just fooling around and the second time we had just finished and were really um… sweaty and stuff so we werent really doing much
TBonez9er: i see
fairy418: what did you do in the shower?
TBonez9er: well we started just showering in a hurry but it progressed into messing around and then into sex
TBonez9er: whats ur favorite position? haha a classic
fairy418: i like being on top O:-)
TBonez9er: ooo wow
TBonez9er: in charge
fairy418: yeeeeeah.. sometimes its the only way
TBonez9er: the only way for what?
fairy418: to get an orgasm
TBonez9er: i see
TBonez9er: ur turn?
fairy418: yep
fairy418: hmm
fairy418: were you in relationships with every girl you were with?
TBonez9er: all but one
fairy418: and was that a one time thing
TBonez9er: yeah
TBonez9er: do u like any certain kinky things?
fairy418: i like teasing the guy, but thats not really all that kinky
TBonez9er: but then the goes early a lot does he not
fairy418: meh, sometimes
TBonez9er: i see
fairy418: he sometimes could control himself
TBonez9er: haha i understand
fairy418: but it would really piss him off at one point and he would grab me and thats always fun
TBonez9er: hm..
fairy418: whats the kinkiest thing you have ever done?
TBonez9er: id say chocolate sauce
TBonez9er: and whip cream
TBonez9er: i dont think it requires to many details
fairy418: no it doesnt. very self explaintory
TBonez9er: haha right
TBonez9er: what makes ur really hot?
fairy418: kissing my neck.. its my weak spot
TBonez9er: haha thats pretty easy to comply
fairy418: yeah im not hard to please
TBonez9er: thats good to know
TBonez9er: ur up
fairy418: oh its my turn!
fairy418: i knew that
TBonez9er: haha
fairy418: hmm
fairy418: craziest place you’ve had sex?
TBonez9er: hillcrest parking lot. my car
TBonez9er: during school
fairy418: niiice
TBonez9er: same question.
fairy418: on the roof of my friend david’s house
TBonez9er: nice
TBonez9er: so ur a freak
TBonez9er: u like sex
fairy418: im not a freak
TBonez9er: that didnt come out right sorry
fairy418: wait is that a question?!
TBonez9er: um… is it?
fairy418: i dont know!
TBonez9er: ok… do u like sex?
fairy418: yes
TBonez9er: do u want to have sex with me
TBonez9er: hahaha im sorry jk
TBonez9er: it just kind of flowed
fairy418: ha its okay
fairy418: i dont know though, you think im a freak
TBonez9er: no
TBonez9er: like i said it didnt come out right
TBonez9er: ive done everything u have it seems
fairy418: how was it supposed to come out?
TBonez9er: or close to it
TBonez9er: do like sex is what it was supposed to mean
fairy418: i see
TBonez9er: ur turn
fairy418: hmm
TBonez9er: r u getting tired of questions?
fairy418: i cant think of anything right now
fairy418: yeah are you?
TBonez9er: yeah
TBonez9er: i suppose
TBonez9er: haha
fairy418: so hows it going?
TBonez9er: im aight
TBonez9er: little shaken up… kinda the word i guess
TBonez9er: haha
fairy418: shaken up?? why?
TBonez9er: thats not the word
TBonez9er: interested
fairy418: interested?
TBonez9er: in u
fairy418: really
TBonez9er: really
fairy418: im glad
TBonez9er: why is that?
fairy418: because im interested too
TBonez9er: bc im sexually experienced
TBonez9er: haha
TBonez9er: jk
fairy418: no!
fairy418: is that why youre interested in me?!
TBonez9er: no no no
fairy418: then why are you interested?
TBonez9er: bc u like the same music as me
TBonez9er: ur cute
TBonez9er: and so far i like ur personality
fairy418: thats better
TBonez9er: then why are u interested?
fairy418: your cute and so far i like your personality as well
TBonez9er: thats better
TBonez9er: haha
TBonez9er: so…
TBonez9er: now the conversation goes dead
fairy418: sorry, i was talking to my sister
fairy418: so tom.. tell me a story
TBonez9er: about…
fairy418: anything
TBonez9er: i need a topic
fairy418: hmm
fairy418: you
fairy418: tell me a story about you
TBonez9er: well thats a wide subject
TBonez9er: hm…
fairy418: youre making this very difficult
TBonez9er: well this isnt very easy
TBonez9er: u should try
fairy418: thats why i asked you
TBonez9er: haha
TBonez9er: u tryin to see how creative i am
fairy418: indeed
fairy418: you see right through me
TBonez9er: damnnit
fairy418: haha
TBonez9er: 1 sec
fairy418: okay
TBonez9er: ok sorry bout that
TBonez9er: ok when i was 13 years old my family spent the summer in sydney, austrailia
TBonez9er: i remember one day when my mom sent me down to the store to buy some bread and somethin else and on my way i was stopped by the two older guys
TBonez9er: they told me to give them my money for my food which technically meant they were trying to mugg me
fairy418: oh no!
TBonez9er: i remember throwing my wallet without the money into their face, after taking the money out, and making a run for the store which was about 4 blocks down the road
fairy418: did you make it?
TBonez9er: once i got there i called my dad who came to the store and walked me back
fairy418: awww
TBonez9er: from that day on throughout the whole summer my dad taught me how to box
TBonez9er: bc his father was a golden glove boxer in the marines
fairy418: nice!
TBonez9er: all i wanted to do was run into those guys again so i could kick their asses but it never happened
TBonez9er: (i probably would have been stabbed or shot or something but it wouldve been cool to try)
TBonez9er: haha
TBonez9er: there ya go
fairy418: that was a good story!!
TBonez9er: thanx
fairy418: usually people whimp out when i ask them to tell me a story
fairy418: im impressed
TBonez9er: i try to impress
TBonez9er: haha
fairy418: and you did
TBonez9er: well thank you
TBonez9er: so…
fairy418: soo
TBonez9er: not that ive impressed
TBonez9er: …
fairy418: what? i dont follow
TBonez9er: yeah i dunno
TBonez9er: haha
fairy418: i think youre on something
TBonez9er: haha
fairy418: did you know pedro the lion is coming to dallas in april
TBonez9er: yeah
TBonez9er: hunuh told me
fairy418: are you gonna go?
TBonez9er: possibly
TBonez9er: r u?
fairy418: definately
fairy418: ben kweller is headlining.. i cant not go
TBonez9er: true
TBonez9er: it should be tight
fairy418: i will
TBonez9er: well hopefully we can hang out b4 then
fairy418: oh we will
fairy418: its more than a month away
TBonez9er: we will
TBonez9er: well u sound excited not
TBonez9er: now
TBonez9er: haha
fairy418: was i not before??
TBonez9er: i dunno
fairy418: so i see
TBonez9er: haha
TBonez9er: hm…
fairy418: hmm
TBonez9er: must talk
fairy418: what should we talk about ?
TBonez9er: i dunno
TBonez9er: ur turn to choose
fairy418: hmmm
fairy418: its hard to think of something to talk about