@delicatedowner - Tumblr Blog

Well.

This could have been avoided.

Or maybe it couldn’t have been. Like I do actually have to learn this time and rebuild and not go back.

But I really really wanted it to be him.

#journal #thirty flirty and dying

Yeah I just really wanna not do this anymore

Beat the hell out of myself yesterday.

So bad. It hurts so bad.

Bruised immediately.

#journal #ouch ouch ouch

Someday I’ll just sink into this hole in my chest.

And never climb out.

#journal #it’s growing

So scared all the time because I’ve seen your true colors and you are not who you say you are.

I still like you is the problem. Because I’m broken.

But you are not a good partner. And won’t ever be. Not until you heal your own problems. They will forever be mine until you do that.

Sucks.

And now I’m suffering because I’m changed because of you. You say I’ve always been like this but I haven’t. I’ve just fallen apart a little and I’m hurt still. You brought out the wounded child in me. And make fun of her constantly.

Oh well. It is my karma. Forever will be punished for being a bad person to so many other people I think.

Idk.

It all seems so silly. Cuz what if I just gave in. And just fucking killed myself finally. I’m not a good person and I’m finally being treated as such.

Because he sees me. He sees me for how ugly I really am and I know he hates me. Why wouldn’t he?

I’m almost at my limit.

And then I’ll jump.

And then it’ll stop.

And I’ll be free.

#journal #I’m so sad #and almost #done

I already think people think the worst out of me.

Now I know it’s true.

Or is it just you?

#journal #I hate this

I’m loosing you and there’s nothing to do.

Feel you slipping right out of my hands.