delusions of a dreamer @demandpeace-blog1 - Tumblr Blog

this blog has moved

Both Chyla and Satine have moved to a multi with an undisclosed URL. I intend on making this multi very private and very selective. I will be following people again slowly. If you find the multi and know it’s me, please don’t give out the URL without talking to me first. Some threads will be moved from here to the multi; I’ll check in occasionally to pick up drafts to move over there.

It’s been swell. See y’all later.

Love, Haley

#( OOC )

withoutpeer:

❝ then perhaps i should go, ❞ he says with quiet reluctance. ❝ save us both from the hurt that will come. ❞

“Save us?” The laugh that peels from her lips is not quite human and soaked in the grief that is threatening to finally drive her mad. “My dear, darling Obi-Wan, what can save us? We are beings destined for sadness.”

#withoutpeer #V: MY HEART DIED WITH MY HOME #( QUEUE )#if you think i just made a reference to the infinite sadness line #that's exactly what i juse did #also satine your grief is showing you're telling obi-wan two completely different things #kids just say you love each other it'll be easier

amavitab

@demandpeace liked for an angsty mess (sc.)

SEPARATION FEELS LIKE RUPTURE ; the moment your sister has left your sight is the moment you’ve felt your soul rip in half, heard the GROTESQUE sound of something shattering within yourself. ( you can’t have one without the other, mama had said, watching as tiny fingers already wrap around each other to cling — the womb catalyst for a link which ought to be forevermore ; to separate them would be cruel. CAN ONE OF THEM LIVE WITHOUT THE OTHER ?? )

no, no. it would only be half a life. half a person haunting deserted halls, padme’s quiet pity and the worry of everyone who sees you. YOU ARE BUT A GHOST ; in the beginning, when barely coherent you have awaited a sign from your sisters and nephew, you clung to denial, begging the old DEAF gods for anything to tell you they were safe. none came. twice in your lifetime you mourned the death of a part of yourself, twice in your lifetime you have turned in a shallow carcass — but now, there is no satine to hold you as you shake & you cannot ask of anyone to wipe the tears away. ( obi – wan, even with his well meaning intentions and touches, only fuels the PAIN. only reminds you of what you have lost & you cannot bear the sight of him. )

“ — why do you HAUNT me so ?? ” a choked gasp, feverish dream ( or so you think . . . ) when the shadow of a shadow taunts you with HOLLOWNESS. dead, you remind yourself, decisive and unmoving, still as a lifeless statue. you wish to reach out for the PHANTASM least you find flesh beneath the mist of tears, but you do nothing but curl around yourself further, safe in a cocoon of robes not your own.

“ oh satine — had you seen me like this, would you laugh ?? i do not know my place within this world without you . . . ”

demandpeace-blog1

Despite the sisters’ love of peace, of pacifism, of nonviolence, it seems as if their lives have been imprinted with nothing but bloody, gruesome death. Some regarded them as harbingers of darkness, some as a brilliant pair of phoenixes rising from ashes; now, as Satine stands with a lightsaber wound in her shoulder and yet another shade of grief in her heart, she cannot name either her critics or her allies to be true.

It was Padmé who got heard the news of a woman near the Mandalore sector with a very curious shoulder injury, she’d sent a secret envoy Satine was sure not actually approved by the Senate or the Chancellor. Delirious and half a breath away from death, she’d been with Korkie, who had stayed behind to return to Mandalore and fight with Bo.

(Satine still didn’t know how she felt about that.)

After a lengthy bacta submersion and proof that Satine was who she really said she was, she was able to return to her own personal hell to find her one singular remaining place of solace.

It is a rare moment of vulnerability for her to cry, but at the sight of Yeinne, tears immediately flood the former Duchess’s eyes. But even seeing her now, the reunion does not taste sweet on her lips, for all ability to seek pleasure has been corroded from the acidity of her tears, and grief, and heartbreak.

“Yeinne--It’s me. It’s Satine. I’m alive,” she promised, kneeling at her sister’s level, hesitantly reaching out to touch her cheek. “I’m here. I’m real.”

#amavitab #V: I KNOW MY SISTER LIKE I KNOW MY OWN MIND #aka what if yeinne was dragged away and the last sight of her sister was maul lancing satine #but he didn't lethally injure her #then korkie got her off planet but couldn't get her out of the system #yes?#maybe?#( VACATION QUEUE )

bellassan:

He’d slowed down too once he’d cleared some ground between them – plus he’d gotten a little distracted by one or two people who wanted quick words, and he gave it to them in the best way he knew: confidently and kindly. Roan was better at that kind of thing, really, but Ferus had still wound up the symbolical leader, the inspiration, the spokesperson, and he loved his people more than he loved he loved himself and would play that part for them if it helped.

So he thought he’d make it to the building later than Reyla, but it turned out he arrived only a moment after her. He saw her enter and he walked briskly up behind her, trying very hard not to startle her when he lightly brushed his arm against hers when he came up next to her. He used that same touch to steer her a little with a gentle nudge.

“This way”, he added for clarity’s sake, voice low. This building was not a deserted one, but it was one a lot of renegades guarded, and so they were welcome but only as long as they didn’t lead more troopers than necessary to the doors. The handful of people currently inside pretended not to notice them mostly for show, so that they’d be able to truthfully say that they didn’t know anything about them later, but most of them simply carried on with their own business.

Ferus led Reyla down a corridor to a door that had a code box which looked broken but wasn’t if you knew the right thing to do to it, and Ferus did, so he got the door open and slinked inside, making sure Reyla was close to him.

“Welcome to the black market”, he added with wry amusement. The place was filled with various items. Mostly things Imperials didn’t want anyone to have.

It seemed running from people who wanted to either arrest you or kill you still was very alike to when she was younger. It didn’t exactly bring her comfort, but there was some sort of wry amusement that pulled a half formed smile to her face nonetheless.

She followed behind Thyo, suddenly feeling a little naked without her cloak, but also figuring that any search for her actual identity--even in the Core--was no longer a priority. Mandalore was in chaos; it wasn’t a total control by the new Empire but it wasn’t anything she could save. She had lost most of her influence when she’d been deposed; the target on her back, while still worth the weight of her corpse, had grown smaller with time.

Blue eyes looked straight ahead, but she studied anything of note out of her peripheral. Habit she learned from Qui-Gon when he’d been protecting her--when she wasn’t bickering with him and his then-apprentice--so many long, long years ago.

“Black market?” She laughed a little, wryly grinning. “My, I have seen a handful in my day but none so resembling an actual market. How impressive.” She figured it had something to do with anti-Imperial movements, which she couldn’t help but full heartedly approve of.

“Any reason this is our hide out?”

#bellassan #V: MY NIGHTMARES TAUNT ME WITH PEACE #( QUEUE )

withoutpeer:

he can feel the sting of tears threatening his eyes as he does his best not to cry. his hand brushes away the hair from her face.

❝ please satine… i can’t lose you too. i can’t- ❞ not after everything. not her.

“Of course you can, Ben,” she gasped, choking and wheezing. “

“You wear--pain--so beautifully--Keep me only--as a memory--not--as a--burden. You deserve to walk-k-on. You--c-can.”

#withoutpeer #V: FIGHTING FOR PEACE IS A PROMISE FOR VIOLENCE #tw death #( VACATION QUEUE )#she's not dead yet #and also WOOPS i don't have many tcw icons

amavitab:

OH, HOW DEEPLY THE SWORD OF GRIEF CUTS YOU ; you feel it embedded into your chest, twisting & turning and DIGGING DEEPER, reminder that everything you love will turn to dust and ashes. will you crumble as well, O’ ATLAS ?? your knees are scrapped raw from kneeling in the dirt and your shoulders bear the bruise of a weigh that cannot be discarded.

your sister takes your hand and you shift, until arms shall find their rightful place around her frame, so you may cling to her further. the mention of obi – wan ought to stifle the ache within your bosom, BUT IT ONLY SERVES TO FURTHER THE PAIN, and you bite back a sob, shut your eyes against the tears. he left you here ; but it was your choice to bear & the decision will weigh down on you forevermore.

“ there was a funeral, and — ” of course they would not ask you to come. who are you to demand a place amongst those who truly knew qui – gon ?? and yet the fact tastes like betrayal, like sand & sulphur upon your tongue & for a moment, you struggle to regain your breath.

“ we shall go to coruscant. he was our friend, satine, i need . . . ” closure. or perchance you need to see it with your own eyes, to touch the cold stone and know that within the ground he lay. but the CRIES overtakes you and no words can reach past the bubbling pain. ( it’s undignified for someone of your statute to cry thus, but there’s only satine to see & you’ve always seen each other, no matter the weakness. )

She’s not surprised when Yeinne comes closer, when she clings, when she buries herself into her arms. Satine sighs softly and hugs her tightly, as if her embrace alone can heal her sister’s pain. Wearing her heart on her sleeve as always, it is Yeinne who cracks first underneath this grief. It’s not that Satine doesn’t hurt--it’s just in her nature to harness rather than expose.

But, Satine is hesitant to agree with her sister here. What place do they have in Coruscant? There is no body; the Jedi funeral incinerated Qui-Gon’s remains. What good was it to go to the Council, but to see people who judged Mandalorians outright, those who endorsed Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon leaving so suddenly...How could Coruscant bring either of them comfort when so many of them were so eager to spit their pain back at them like venom?

She stroked through her sister’s curls and sighed, holding her tightly as if she could hold the pieces of Yeinne together.

“We can think about this later. We don’t have to make any decisions right now,” she murmurs, pressing a gentle kiss to her sister’s hair. “It’s okay, Yeinne. We can just be...sad right now.”

#amavitab #V: I KNOW MY SISTER LIKE I KNOW MY OWN MIND #( VACATION QUEUE )

ashara-deactivated20171021

— V for Vendetta

#( SATINEISMS )#yoooooooooooo #( VACATION QUEUE )

starsscarred-deactivated2023100

Phone thing for Satine for Obi-Wan

@demandpeace – Phone meme

NAME: SatineRINGTONE: An undetermined song that they had a slow dance to when she convinced him to go dancing with her sometime, probably? PICTURE:

(Forgive me if this is the wrong modern FC but I know you use her and this expression seemed very Satine.)LAST TEXT RECEIVED: [Satine – 4:48 PM] I almost told our congressman to “fuck off” at the town hall…how has your day been?

LAST TEXT SENT: [Ben – 5:01 PM] Grading exams has not been anywhere near as interesting as that story will be.

#V: OF COURSE I NEVER SLEEP BECAUSE I REMEMBER EVERYTHING #save for the multi #( HEADCANON )#this is all very canon #very very canon #shout out to alex for remembering the dancing hc!!

So anyways in other news I’m gonna queue and clear my drafts for Satine and then she’s going to be officially archived there after. I’ll still log on for Chyla, but once I clear Satine’s drafts, she’s going to be archived to be moved to a multi at a later date.

#( OOC )

cptrs

#( ALT FC )#( VACATION QUEUE )

☎

@alderavalkyrie || phone contact info meme || accepting

NAME: LeiaLeiaLeiaRINGTONE: It probably changes A LOT but mostly switches back and forth between 80s and 90s pop divas and modern female empowerment songs. But not the ones that aren’t actually empowering.PICTURE:

LAST TEXT RECEIVED: [LeiaLeiaLeia: 12:45 PM] So a kid in my AP Government class said women were inferior to men and I told him to fuck off and anyways I’m in the principal’s office but the other kid isn’t.LAST TEXT SENT: [Satine: 12:47 PM] What the fuck? That’s bullshit. I’m on my way.

#alderavalkyrie #( ANSWERED )#aka satine adopts leia #and she secretly snapped the smiling picture b/c she loves leia's smile

☠ What does someone have to do for an instant unfollow from you?

@alderavalkyrie || salty munday on a tuesday || accepting

I mean. Instant unfollows are always a weird thing because something that made me insta-click for someone I barely know is going to be different from someone I’ve been talking to for months. Shit is varied and I feel like Tumblr culture has perpetuated this “you have to be perfectly knowledgeable in every social issue ever to call yourself a proponent of social justice” when that’s just....so unhealthy because it ignores so many societal lenses people look through and walls out anyone wanting to learn, or maybe make a misstep in their learning process, and the Tumblr anon wolves descend. And people have biases (which Tumblr won’t admit very often) for their friends that make it harder to see them in negative lights. I know for a fact there have been cringey posts made by longterm mutuals that I didn’t unfollow for that I did unfollow for a brand new follow. But like, a list of stuff that has made me unfollow for pretty damn quickly: viciously refuse to tag a trigger for someone, shown cringey behavior from a place of malice instead of a place of ignorance, said prejudiced shit OOC, untagged suicide mention stuff.

shrugs

Yeah I need more coffee to make this eloquent but have this answer.

#( OOC )#( ANSWERED )#alderavalkyrie

the salty af munday meme

Because, like it or not, we're not all balls of sunshine all the time. We can be pure salt when we want to be.

☠ What does someone have to do for an instant unfollow from you?

♥ What's the WORST thing that has happened to you rp wise?

♦ What was a mildly annoying thing that has happened to you rp wise?

♢ Has anyone ever tried to steal your blog? Your headcanons? Icons? All that jazz

♚ How many people don't like you?

⚜ How many people do you not like?

✮ Have you managed to stay away from drama?

☄ Have you ever been in the middle of drama?

☯ Have you ever tried to bring peace to a situation?

☼ How long do you stay mad?

☀ What's your rp pet peeve?

☁ Have you ever forgiven a partner when you shouldn't have?

☂ Have you ever been forgiven when you knew you shouldn't have been?

☢ What fads/trends are you so over?

☣ Have you ever rp'd with someone you knew for a fact was abusive but tried to give them a chance/to make up your own opinion on the roleplayer? Did they change or did you understand what people were talking about?

♨ Have you ever made a public call out post?

❀ What has made you completely lose your chill?

✿ What do you think about public call out posts?

✂ A fandom that you feel isn't open and accepting?

✉ A fandom that you feel is open and accepting?

✦ Thoughts on duplicates following you?

✧ Do you agree with reblog karma or is it forced interaction?

❥ Has someone ever ruined an FC or character for you?

❦ Has someone been jealous of you?

❧ Have you ever been jealous of anyone?

✖ How has Tumblr RP changed since you started?

♒ Thoughts on the fandom you're currently rping in?