Demi Demi Lit Club

21 | He/Him | Demisexual, Demiromantic | History, Literature, Video Games, Movies, People, Life | Ask Box is Always Open | http://demisexuality.org/

[demidemilitclub]

Y’all ever yearn so much for love that you feel physical pangs in your chest, which makes you realize you should stop thinking and just go to bed? Or is that just me?

[red-honeysuckle]

ace? lovely!!

aro? amazing!!

aroace? stunning!

anything on the ace spectrum? gorgeous!!

anything on the aro spectrum? perfect!!

Ace people are LGBTQ+, too.

[swingsetindecember]

i wish more people said that being single is normal

and you’re not going to meet and marry someone

and that’s fine

and if marriage happens, it happens. and it’s not the next big ticket to check off in life’s checklist

because not everyone meets someone they want to marry. and that’s normal

you’re not broken or unfulfilled if you are single

[junjunkii]

realizing you’re on the ace spectrum like

“I’d hit that.” “You… you don’t even know them though??”

“Oh come on, everyone has a list of celebrities they’d totally have sex with if they had a chance.” “Haha yeah ok” *internally* what

“Ya so like for the past few years I’ve felt zero attraction to people I wasn’t friends with first?? Lol what’s up with that”

Why did you have to have sex with them?? Couldn’t you just hold it?? Like pee??

“You’ll meet someone who makes you feel like that someday, don’t worry” “……sounds fake but ok”

“Sex is an important part of a relationship! Everyone has sexual needs!” “….sounds fake but ok”

“Dude that girl is so hot” “I know right?? Look at her fucking eyeliner. Goals. The fuck.” “No I meant like… look at that ass” “Are we looking at the same person are you really focussing on her ass look at how visually appealing her outfit is and dont you dare fuckin tell me that eyeliner isnt fierce as hell”

“Aesthetic attraction and sexual attraction are two different things” *puzzle pieces vERY RAPIDLY FALLING INTO PLACE*

*staring at the ceiling at two-thirty in the morning* i could die a virgin and i would regret absolutely nothing

“What’s your ideal girl like?” “Uh… my best friend?” “Oh cute, you want your girlfriend to be the one who knows you best!” “No I meant I am literally only attracted to my best friend she is my ideal girl please help I am dying”

“We’ve been dating for six months and we still haven’t had sex!!” “Have you marathoned Star Wars together yet?” “Yeah we did that like two weeks ago” “Well what more do you want”

*thinking about an attractive woman* *dissecting my entire personality and sexuality to figure out why I’m attracted to her this time* is it the muscles. Oh my god is this a sex thing. Oh my god what the hell is this. Oh my god what the fuck is the wtf the fuck the fUCK

*Next day* Zarya could punch me in the face while eating me out and I’d let her but only because she’s a fictional character and therefore could literally never do that

*writing fanfic* ONLY CLOSE FRIENDS HAVE SEX BC ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ELSE MAKES SENSE TO ME

(why is that tho. maybe i should look into that *doesnt look into it*)

“What do you find most attractive in a girl?” “Gotta love those strong emotional bonds” “No I meant like what’s a turn-on for you?” “DID I McFUCKING STUTTER”

*staring at the ceiling at two-thirty in the morning again* sexual attraction should be added to the cryptid wikia

“Yeah sex sounds like a great stress reliever and a nice way to strengthen the bonds between you and your partner(s)” “Well there’s more to it than that…” *The Arctic Monkey’s Do I Wanna Know starts playing in my head* “Haha ok buddy”

“There’s more to being ace than just not being interested in having sex or not feeling sexual attraction. In fact there’s a whole spectrum. You may even feel sexual attraction sometimes but still be ace. You can also be gay and ace at the same time.” “…bro.” “Also it’s totally normal.” *sobbing* “…bro. Bro there are words for it there’s an entire list oh my god-”

“-finally.”

[winterknightdragon]

Oh my god. Oh my god. This is the post. This is the post that made me realize I was acespec. I’ve been looking for this for years.

[random-obsessions101]

Question, does abrosexual fall on the ace spec? @winterknightdragon @junjunkii

[winterknightdragon]

I believe it does, @liemoney-beetlejuice-snakeit . It at least has close associations with the ace spec because sometimes an abrosexual person will go through periods of not feeling sexual attraction at all.

[demidemilitclub]

This post? FAT mood.

[gaychowder]

i cant stop thinking about that scene in macbeth when macduff is talking to malcolm nd he’s like “how could you possibly be worse than macbeth as king” and malcolm is like “bro hide ur wives im just so horny”

[princess-of-france]

Mackers is just a pitch-black comedy about the futility of toxic masculinity, and that’s the only way I’ll ever direct it

[demidemilitclub]

@princess-of-france​

So if MacDaddyB is the comedy about the futility of toxic masculinity, does that mean Lear gets to stay a drama/tragedy about the futility of toxic masculinity?

[everythingfox]

You know what we don’t appreciate enough? Horror movies that don’t use the jump scare tactic to inflict the horror aspect of the film

[demidemilitclub]

HONESTLY!

If you’re going to scare me, actually scare me. Horrify me. Terrorize me. Instill in me a grotesque feeling of dread that haunts me long after I have seen your movie.

My reward for this goes to Låt den rätte komma in (Let the Right One In).

Honorable Mentions go to Hush for doing it relatively minimally and to It Follows for only having like 3, all of which were fake-outs/a different thing to be scared of. 

Special Prize goes to It (2017) for having few jump scares, generally allowing the horror to play through, and executing scenes so well that I was more scared of things that weren’t Bill Skarsgård (which is a very Stephen King thing; fear the main antagonist, be also be scared of all this other stuff that might honestly be the true terror).

...I have opinions on filmmaking.

[demidemilitclub]

Are you okay? You havent been active for a while

Yeah, just:

(Image ID: The Spider-Man: Far From Home train meme. In the first panel, a picture of Dietrich Bonhoeffer [my icon] is on Spider-Man. In the second panel, the train is labeled “SCHOOL AND THEATER”. End Image ID.)

You know?

[demidemilitclub]

Hi! (You're cool!)

Thank you! You seem really cool too!

[sophie531896273240810891]

i hate the whole like pressure to experience relationships on a timeline, like you’re “supposed” to have crushes at a young age, “supposed” to start dating in high school, “supposed” to lost your virginity as a teen, “supposed” to be dating and sleeping around through high school and college, “supposed” to settle down in your mid to late twenties, and “supposed” to have your own family soon after you marry and then ur supposed to enforce that timeline on ur kids like how many times do family members ask u when ur gonna get a partner and get married... it’s like the natural enemy of having real, vulnerable, deep relationships with other ppl because you keep feeling like you have to settle for somebody in order to fit within that timeline, or else u feel broken and out of place for not fitting into it... i really believe this is why i hear about so many people being stuck in unhappy marriages like how do u cultivate something fulfilling when ur fighting against a deadline

[demidemilitclub]

This is such an important thing to be aware of. Even if there’s not that immediate familial pressure (which, let’s be honest, there usually is), there’s this constant background hum of societal pressure that can be so draining and just wear away at you.

And it has all sorts of other impacts, like OP pointed out, what with people forcing themselves into underdeveloped and ultimately damaging relationships just because “you have to”.

Uninformed media (like movies and TV that push the “everyone f*cks in high school” narrative and other stuff like that, which is a whole other rant that I can get into) and being surrounded by certain demographics (coughcoughconservativeevangelicalchristianscoughcough) can really amp up the effect it has on you as well.

[rsvnr]

You know, I think one of the worst feelings is finding out that you didn’t mean as much to someone as you thought you did, and you just feel stupid, and because you looked desperate, about caring too much.

[demidemilitclub]

I’m back. Again.

I dropped off the face of the earth because school and an emotionally-taxing rehearsal process started at the same time, and I just never had the energy when I had the free time.

But that’s what winter break’s for!

So...yeah.

[asexualpositivity]

Asexuals are amazing.

[whatsnew-lgbtq]

There's nothing wrong with being asexual.

[championsaremade]

Listen to me. This is your life– no one else’s. At the end of the day, it is you who has to be happy with the choices you are making, food you are eating, things you are doing, goals you are pursuing. Do not let the opinions and judgments of others stop you from doing what you feel and know in your heart is right for you. Eat the food that makes you feel best. Do what makes you feel at peace. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good, who make you laugh, who sincerely make you smile. Go after what you want– not because someone else is telling you to, but because you want to. Listen to that inner voice, trust your gut, and trust yourself.

[babygoose-deactivated20240106]

boys 👏 can 👏 be 👏 asexual👏

rb if you agree

[pepsimansthickjuicymeatyschlong]

boys 👏 can 👏 be 👏 aromantic👏

rb if you agree

[princessmuk]

To Understand a Demisexual

So, we’ve all seen sex-based advertisements, yeah? You know the ones, where it’s selling, say, men’s shampoo, and the guy putting on the shampoo is super hot and has rippling abs, and there’s some hot women thrown in somewhere at some point to show, hey, if you use this shampoo, you’ll look like him and get girls that look like that.

So, many people (allosexual people, specifically – people who experience sexual attraction the way most people assume everybody does) would watch this ad and be turned on by the hot man or women. Most people, when they see a hot person, would be turned on, just by looking at them. This is how Tinder works. This is how people banging after their first date works. Many people do not need a close connection to feel sexual attraction. (To an ace or demi person, being turned on by an ad sounds insane… )

Now, let’s think about a demisexual person. A demisexual person would not be turned on in the slightest by that shampoo ad. They may experience arousal and be, for lack of a better term, horny sometimes, but they also may go their entire lives never feeling that. It could be somewhere in between. But, the key thing is that they may think, “oh, I’ve never felt sexual attraction to another person before. I must be asexual.”

Afficher davantage

[asterosian]

“But everyone is demisexual!”

Have you ever found a complete stranger sexually attractive? If yes, then you’re not demisexual.

This includes: watching porn and wanting to fuck one of the actors, thinking the ladies in Hardee’s commercials are sexy and being into it, buying a magazine because it’s the closest you’re ever going to get to touching the cover’s model’s boobs/pecs, and many, many more

None of the above are things a demisexual would do. Because they don’t feel sexual attraction to anyone they haven’t formed some type of emotional bond with. But allosexuals like me totally would. In fact, those three things rely on the audience being allosexual. You think people buy the swimsuit edition of Sports Illustrated or whatever cause they’re actually interested in whatever the text on the inside says? No, fucking look at it and tell me that’s why anyone is buying it.

The goal of this fuckin ad is to get people who are attracted to women - and let’s be honest, they’re thinking of cis straight men - to see the cover, see this complete stranger’s body, think she’s hot as hell, and give them money so they can keep staring at hot girls in bikinis. If the average person was a demisexual, this would never work. They wouldn’t feel attracted to the person on the cover.

Now tell me, if trying to pair things with sex in order to sell them or relying on sexual attraction towards complete strangers is something businesses and advertisers regularly do, and the majority of the population is demisexual (meaning no sexual attraction felt towards anyone with no emotional bond to the person), then how the fuck would any of this work? The easiest explanation given these conditions is that they wouldn’t. Any business dependent on its target audience feeling sexual attraction to some attractive person the average person does not personally know would fail in a society where sexual attraction is only felt towards those you’ve bonded with. Which means one of the conditions presented is not true. We can readily observe that the first one is correct, which leaves the second one being the one that must not be true. If relying on huge groups of people being capable of attraction towards complete strangers is an effective advertising and business strategy, then the majority of the population cannot be demisexual.

So, where did the idea on Tumblr that demisexuality was a typical human experience come from? Two groups, one significantly more so than the other:

People who don’t understand what demisexuality is because they don’t even understand what sexual attraction is. This accounts for the majority of people making this claim. They often confuse sexual attraction with sexual activity and think “well, most people don’t go around having sex with people they just met, which means most people aren’t attracted to people they don’t know well”. Except, sexual attraction isn’t sexual activity. Sexual attraction is looking at a person and feeling a desire to do something sexual with them. It doesn’t mean you’d do it; hell, you might even turn the person down if they offered, for a variety of reasons. But you’d still really like to do it with them. If you wanna bang a certain celebrity, then you feel sexual attraction towards that celebrity. Whether you’d actually do it or not is irrelevant.

Demisexuals who assume their experiences are the majority. This isn’t the case for a lot of people, but if you looked at the definition of demisexuality, you learned what sexual attraction is, and you thought “well, I fit that definition but aren’t most people like that?,” not only were you wrong, you’re demisexual. Congrats. Also sorry the world isn’t what you thought it was. But hey, at least things make a little more sense in some ways, right?

Now, before I let you go and you keep reading the rest of your dash or this tag, let me leave a disclaimer. It’s nothing big, just something I wanna mention cause I think it’s important. I’m not demisexual. I shouldn’t be considered an expert on demisexuality, and if any demisexual wants to add to this or correct me on some things, I’d encourage them to do so. Every bit of information on this post comes from both my own life experiences as an allosexual in a predominantly allosexual world as well as my understanding of what demisexuality is based on how demisexuals themselves define it. Is that going to have room for error? Of course it is. So does everything anyone says on Tumblr. So do all your arguments. So do people in general. I’m doing my best to explain why you’re wrong with what information I have. That’s all anyone can ask of anyone in a discussion.

[debthedemi]

Thank you!!!