darkness I became

@demonic-lux

Lux McCoy || 23 || The Devil You Know || Elder in Training "Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before." -Edgar Allen Poe

97 posts

He couldn’t tell if she’d actually figured it out, or if she was just guessing and frustrated that he wasn’t budging. He knew they were on the same side, knew from her subconscious that the two of them could work towards a similar agenda, but it was hard to cave when he was so upset at what she’d just done to him. He couldn’t be on the same side as and trust someone that would just use him like that. “We’re even then,” he said, taking a step away from the wall, though he still felt completely drained. “You don’t take from me again without permission and I’ll do the same,” he said, keeping it vague so that if she knew what he’d done, what his ability was, then she’d understand. And if she didn’t know, then it didn’t really give much away. “Have a pleasant day, Lux.”

“You don’t know that,” he responded. He might have honestly considered allowing her as long as she’d promised not to kill him. He certainly would have respected her asking him instead of just attacking him like that. His eyes narrowed for a brief second as her voice turned cold because he was forcing himself to appear as neutral as possible. He was well aware that he’d used his own abilities on her and that it was a violation of her trust and privacy, but at least he hadn’t hurt her. And he couldn’t even argue about any of that with her because he couldn’t have her knowing what he could do until he knew he could trust her, something that was seeming more and more unlikely with each run in. “I absolutely agree,” he said honestly, because he really did. It just also meant that he was a massive hypocrite, but he could live with that. “Clearly morality isn’t something they teach young witches in this place, however.”

“They don’t have a crash course for familiars in morality either, apparently.” Suddenly her temper had flared again and she was unspeakably angry, but not at Jasper. At herself, for thinking she had found another ally. The truth was she wasn’t really capable of putting in the work for it without him taking the first leap of faith, and that clearly wasn’t going to happen. At least this run in had bought her another few days before she had to go into town and try to seduce some poor farm boy. “I get it. Being a familiar here sucks, being anyone who isn’t worshiped by an Elder sucks, and you’re tired of people taking without permission. Then hold yourself to the same standards. You can go now.” Try not to die, she tacked on as an afterthought, thinking with a grimace of the funeral tomorrow.

Jasper was starting to feel sluggish and weak and he was pretty sure if her hands weren’t on his face, he would have fallen over. But she wasn’t stopping and he was suddenly surprisingly bitter that this was the way he was going to die. Finally her hands moved off of him and he felt his knees give slightly, but he managed to move backwards, away from the bracket that her hands were making. Putting his arm out, he braced himself against the wall, his breathing heavy and labored. He was angry that she was smiling after that and he wished he had more energy to show her his proper anger. Instead, it was all he could do to just keep standing, the effort it took far greater than it should have been. “A favor?” he said unbelievably. “You don’t take favors. You don’t….you don’t just do things like that,” he said, unable to form better sentences. “Jesus fuck,” he breathed, mostly to himself. She could have killed him. She didn’t, but she could have. “You could have just asked, dick.”

He looked like he was about to collapse, but he danced just out of her reach like the scared animal he was as he braced himself against the wall. “You would have said no,” she told him simply. Part of her was sure his powers were as some sort of human shield and that she wouldn’t have been able to take anything from her, but she was wrong again. It was hard to feel discouraged when she was busy feeling better than she had in weeks, but it was still a thorn in her side. How could she not figure out what he could do? Why were there no whispers about it? It was driving her nuts, and it meant whatever he could do was probably of the same stealth and deception levels as many powers of the mind. So there was a chance he had already influenced her, without her permission. Taking a stab in the dark just to see if she was right, her voice turned suddenly cold, the surge of power turning her hard as steel. “You’re right. It’s a huge violation of trust, to use your talents on someone without their consent. Don't you agree?”

He wasn’t sure why Lux was worried about a potential public freakout when it was just a simple apology, but he wasn’t going to sit there and try to analyze it. Jasper nearly laughed at the thought of him being in the Elders’ pocket. The idea was absurd. He was very open about his dislike of being at the Coven and he wasn’t exactly the nicest to the Elders. Why anyone would think he was on their side was completely beyond him. “I assure you, that’s not something you have to worry about,” he said, though he knew what little weight some random Familiar’s word held. He frowned slightly when she told him to take a deep breath, and before he knew it, her hands were on his face again. It felt less sudden and sharp than it had in the dream but it was still a level of discomfort that he wasn’t used to. He tried to pull away but couldn’t manage to back away from the touch as he felt his energy leaving him at a steady and worrisome rate. “Lux,” he said, wanting her to stop but forming words was proving difficult.

Lux had spent too much time with Circe to take anyone at face value. Just because he expressed his content didn’t mean that was how he really felt, and she couldn’t risk anything getting back to the Elder. Forming words was too difficult to do though when all she could focus on was his energy and how it cured the aching hunger inside of her that food could no longer help with. Her mind sharpened, the dull headache gone and if her name hadn’t jerked her out of her steady trance, she might have stood there until his heart stopped beating. She tore her hands away from his face but let them hover, making sure he wasn’t about to topple over. “Jasper,” she tried to tease, but her voice sounded a little hollow to her own ears as she smiled up at him. “We’ll call that a favor. Next time you need one, you can come find me.” And sure trust and friendship were about more than mutual favors and exchanges of power, but for now that was all she had to offer.

“The clothing has to come from the people who own me. The Elders definitely didn’t give me this outfit,” he shrugged. “I might have to take you up on that pillowcase, though. Sounds comfortable.” The further they went and the tighter she held on to him, the more nervous he got. Did she figured out what he could do? Did she knew he’d invaded her privacy? She was going to kill him, wasn’t she? The empty classroom just confirmed that suspicion. She was going to suck out his life force and kill him and no one was going to even notice. He took a deep and steady breath to prepare himself while she shut the door and his eyebrows raised in surprise when she spoke. She was apologizing? The relief he felt that what he’d said in her dream was almost palpable. “It’s okay, you’re a witch. Being an elitist comes naturally to your kind,” he said easily. “Thank you, though. Not sure why you needed so much privacy for an apology but…thanks.”

Lux could practically feel the nerves in him as she led him somewhere locked and secluded, trapping inside with her. It was reassuring to know she did in fact scare him a little, and not all of his bravado was real. “Can’t have anyone knowing I have a soul. Plus...if you panicked, I didn’t want it to be in public.” She took a predatory step closer, closing the distance between them. “I need to make sure my instincts are right about you. That you know how to keep a secret and aren’t secretly in the Elders’ pocket.” The more and more she analyzed the dream, the more she realized it was odd to have one so vivid, and that it was quite possibly some sort of vision. Which meant she had to focus on every aspect of the dream, and that included the calming weight of his hand in hers. “Take a deep breath.” That was all the warning he got before she pressed a palm to either side of his face, sighing at the thrum of power she got from the first initial jolt of contact. Each morning she got weaker, food tasting blander. Avoiding daily touch wouldn’t be an option for much longer.

Jasper hadn’t seen Lux since he’d been in her dream and he was excited that out of all of the people he could have almost ran into, it was her. Sure, he had to pretend that his last talk with her at been when she’d been rude in the kitchen, but he was eager to see what she wanted with him. He followed her easily, thankful for the material separating their skin since he wasn’t eager to feel that soul sucking pain of her touch again so soon. “I’ve yet to be given a piece of clothing, so the only place I have to be is wherever you want me,” he replied dryly. Then after a beat, realized that probably needed some explanation. “Harry Potter was a horrible comparison, we’re much more like house elves. Abilities but with no freedom and respect. I’m basically a hot version of Dobby.”

Even before he explained himself, Lux was grinning at the joke, remember her lame Harry Potter exit dream from the last time she had seen him awake. “And yet you look like you’re wearing an entire outfit of clothing. I’ve never been much of a seamstress, but I can tailor you a pillowcase.” Normally she didn’t have such a difficult time separating dream life from reality, but she was going to trust her subconscious about him and the calm radiating trust she had felt when she dreamt about him. “Doesn’t that make it the perfect comparison? You even work in the kitchens.” Her grip tightened a little as she pulled him sharply down a side corridor and into an empty classroom, shutting and locking the door behind her as she set her shoulder bag down on an empty desk. “I’m sorry. For being such an elitist, earlier.”

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“Oooh, ooh, back up. Familiar that works in the kitchens? Who?” She bounces as she walks and falls into step with Lux, her eyes gleaming. “Tell me more over drinks?”

“His name is Jasper, and he’s a little reluctant to tell me his deep dark secret, but I’ll get there. Here’s to hoping he doesn’t try to poison me.” Lux steered them towards her room easily at the suggestion, Avery the one exception to her no people rule. She was the one visitor Lux didn’t have to worry about stumbling on something she wasn’t meant to see. The tiny bedroom was currently lit with fairy lights, anything brighter hurting her eyes. “Pick your poison,” she gestured carelessly to the counter where her stash of wine and a few hard liquors sat.

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He faked a laugh, rolling his eyes at the witch. When they give him the remote, his eyebrows furrow slightly as he felt a strange sensation when their skin come in contact. He didn’t feel any different nor did he see a change in them either, so did he imagine it all? Could be, he was running on four hours of sleep. “I’m sorry, what was that? Did you say you want cartoons? Well, alright,” he said sarcastically, flipping the channels till he found Cartoon Network. “As you wish.”

Lux’s nerves screamed in protest as the soothing sounds of whale noises was replaced by the grating staccato of some eight year old’s animated entertainment. Slamming her workbook shut, she rose and gathered her things, calling over her shoulder as she headed to her room. “Congratulations. You’ve just made the list.”

Jasper had only heard small murmurings about the murder, having not been around that night and definitely not on the social end of things. His communication with anyone was as minimal as possible, but even still he’d managed to hear about it. At some point, he’d try to get more information but until then, he was just trying to continue to keep his head down, to continue to be as unnoticed and uninvolved as possible. But maybe the head down part shouldn’t have been so literal since he almost collided directly with another person, managing to side step them and avoid a disaster at the last second. “Sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t even see you,” he said quickly, though he knew it was his own fault for not looking up in the first place.

Lux glanced up just long enough to see a body careening towards her, automatically twisting away from the human contact. Although an accidental bump might not have been so bad. Every day she was waking up increasingly weaker, and was starting to have vivid dreams of draining a person of their life force completely. Shaking off the dark thoughts, she was ready to spit flames before she saw who it was and her temper settled down. “Hey, you. Walk with me,” she instructed, looping her arm protected by her long sleeves through his and steering him in her direction. “Do you have anywhere to be?”

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“Yes,” he said shamelessly, his expression unfazed. “So give it up.” Call him stubborn, spoiled, it didn’t matter, he wouldn’t budge until he got what he wanted. Extending his hand out, he waited for the witch to give him the remote.

“Maybe...” Lux ventured as she placed the remote in his waiting palm, “...they only cave to get you to stop talking.” Before removing her grip completely, she twisted her wrist skillfully grazing his skin with the back of her hand in a feather light touch. It was a fraction of a second and barely enough to have an effect. And yet it gave her a jolt of power, taking the edge of the sluggishness she woke up with that morning. “No cartoons.”

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“I would, but moving out of this couch is a no-go for me, so,” he said trailing off, his gaze going back and forth between the witch’s face and whatever they were writing or drawing, he couldn’t tell which they were doing. “You’re not even watching this shit, c’mon.”

What was one wasn’t the point. Giving him control of the TV meant he would stay, and Lux wasn’t a fan of company barring a select few. She picked up the remote anyway, but paused halfway between keeping it and giving it away. “Are you always this bratty when things don’t go your way?”

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Now that school was done, the witch’s days were uneventful to say the least. He was either at home, bothering his family or at the infirmary, bothering his cousin. Today Guillermo felt like changing up his routine a bit, giving his family a break.

Going to one of the Coven’s lounge, he made his way through everyone and sat in one of the couches. Unfortunately someone was already watching TV but god did he hate the channel they chose. With an irritated sigh, he spoke up, “Can you please change the channel? I feel like I’m about to die.”

Lux wasn’t even watching the TV anymore, but let it play as background noise as she sketched out symbols in the margins of her notes for the first draft of an essay. Her eyes narrowed at the request, glancing up to see that it was nearing the end of a documentary on whales. No wonder he was bored. “Then go elsewhere.”

Gaia had turned to leave, but paused when Lux spoke up. Destiny and forging your own path in life, both interesting concepts that they often thought about as a child. When they became an adult, there were somethings that needed to be left behind. “I believe that we create our own.” That was how Gaia started, but that wasn’t how they wanted to finish. “However, things in life change what we want to create.”

They continued. “Circumstances, trauma, and a variety of other shifts affect what they way our paths go. There are thousands of possibilities for a single thing, thousands of outcomes for actions that we make and that we don’t make. Destiny is our own, despite the outside forces that act upon our lives. We can shape it.” They paused. “At least, I think we can.”

Lux gave them a rare true smile, small and fleeting. This run in had been weirdly motivating, confirming she was on the right path even when she knew that hadn’t been their intention. “I think we can, too. Destiny isn’t in the stars, or set in stone.” Which meant if this wasn’t a universe she was happy with, she could tear it down and create a new one. “Thank you, Elder. If you need anything....you know where to find me.”

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“Have I?” she asked, circling her wrist flippantly. “I’ve just been too busy.” She giggled. “What have I missed? Anything actually important? Besides the murder, I guess.”

“Yes,” Lux confirmed in mock protest, continuing on her path through the hallways and trusting Avery to follow as she tried to hit the important points. “Dead familiar. Interesting familiar that works in the kitchen that was brought here forcibly. So he must be able to do something cool. Gaia is officially the only Elder I wouldn’t throw into a volcano if given the chance. And I’ve been sober for far too long today. That’s about it.”

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“It’s my biggest source of income outside, though they find early that I do not lie…” Frigg drew the first three cards from the deck, placing them in the typical three card spread. “This card,” She pointed to the first one. “Represents your past.” She flipped it. “Judgement, this represents major change, though not a physical one.” She didn’t have to elaborate on that more than necessary, having seen the change happen in the cards months before her parents were executed. “The second is your present.” She flipped the card. “The nine of pentacles, a card representing stability while positioned correctly… But this one is upside down, representing instability and a sort of chaos.“ She gave Lux a pitying look. “And thus we come to your future.” She flipped the last card. “The Devil. This card represents the seed of neikvæðni- negativity that lies within everyone. Take care, for if you are not careful, this card may consume you and everyone you know. But do not be upset, this card reminds us that we can throw off these inner evils anytime we choose, that there is still goodness within us, along with the bad. It has shown up because you believe that your future is dökk..”

Lux wanted to press her fingertips to the cards and trace each outline of the surface, and the beauty and color pressed into them. Of course she refrained - a witch’s tools were her own, and she wanted to hear what Frigg had to say. Though none of the cards were earth shattering, all containing information she already knew, as did anyone else in the Coven that paid attention to her. “The Devil seems pretty happy there,” she couldn’t help but point out. “Perhaps he doesn’t want to rid himself of his inner evil. It’s earned him a throne.”

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Avery laughs, shaking her head. She couldn’t help but find the horrified looks on the kids’ faces funny, even a little cute. “Lux, don’t lie,” she said in a teasing reprimand, “Brandon is always sobbing in a broom closet. If it rained every time we would be swimming everywhere.”

“Okay, fine. It’s only the full mental breakdowns that lead to rain.” Lux stopped paying attention to the children long enough for them to scatter as she turned to Avery with her first genuine smile of the day. “Well someone’s been scarce.”

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“Do you wish to know about love or wealth or just your general future?”

“General. What poor saps come to you looking for love?”

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