An open letter to ABC, Shonda Rhimes and Ellen Pompeo
I try to avoid ranting about Grey’s Anatomy on here. I used to be a HUGE fan but stopped watching a few years ago and walked away from most of it. However due to being an even bigger Patrick Dempsey fan, I always kind of stayed in the loop as to what was going on, especially about Meredith and Derek as I had always loved them. So I knew everything that happened with them this year, including Derek’s death.
It upset me a lot more than I expected it to. When I first heard the news I was really happy for Patrick. And then it actually happened and I found myself crying and rather sad. It took me by quite a bit of surprise.
However that’s not what this is about.
I get it. From the sounds of it, Patrick’s demanding schedule with racing and other projects he was working on became too hard to work around so both sides decided it was for the best to part ways. Which is fine with me as I am more than excited to see him go on and do other things. I mean, I can think of a million other ways they could have written him off but fine, whatever.
No, this is about an article in which Ellen Pompeo said that it was insulting and hard on her ego for people to act like the show wouldn’t be the same without Patrick Dempsey/Derek.
In the same article Shonda said that Meredith wasn’t defined by Derek and that the show will be the same because Meredith doesn’t need a man.
Here’s the thing, guys. I’ve seen A LOT of comments made by upset fans about Derek’s death and what’s going to come next. And I haven’t seen any of them say that Ellen isn’t good enough to carry the show. I haven’t seen any of them say that she needs a man to make the show work. Not once have I seen a comment like that. That is not what fans are upset about. No long time Grey’s Anatomy fan thinks that Meredith isn’t good enough to watch the show for.
Except to make her point, Ellen compares Meredith Grey to Olivia Pope and whatever her name is on Shonda’s other shit show. That’s all fine and dandy but…Grey’s Anatomy has never been Scandal or the other shit show. It was Grey’s Anatomy and it’s very very first scene was Derek waking up on Meredith’s floor the morning after a one night stand. The main plot line in the first season was if Meredith was finally going to give in and date Derek. The main plot line in the second season was if Derek was going to leave Addison for Meredith. Third, if Meredith and Derek were going to work through their trust issues. You get the idea. Patrick did just as much, if not promotion for the show than Ellen did. They did interviews together, they did award shows together, they even did ad campaigns for other companies together. When EVERYONE was talking about Grey’s Anatomy they weren’t talking about the surgeries, they weren’t talking about Bailey or George or Alex….they were talking about Meredith and Derek and “Oh my god, why didn’t they kiss after the bomb?????”. Maybe as far as Shonda was concerned Meredith was the only star of the show but that’s certainly not how the fans saw it. Meredith and Derek were the big deal, the OTP that everyone adored. Hell, ABC PAYED Patrick and Ellen the same and they were BOTH credited as leads. No one else is credited as lead on Scandal or the other shit show, they’re all very very much supporting parts. The formula for the shows simply aren’t the same. Yes, Derek didn’t define Meredith but Derek and Meredith most certainly defined the show.
And now in Season 12…you sit up and throw this whole “But why can’t I have my own poster?”.That’s not how it works. You can’t reinvent a show in Season 12 and expect the fans to be entirely on board with it overnight. You killed off a major character. Fans are going to be upset about that. You can’t then turn around, not even 3 episodes later and go “Well I sure wish they’d get over that character we killed 3 episode ago, they must think that a woman needs a man and can’t carry a show on her own”. Because guess what, that…that is what you’re saying. That exactly. You’re acting like that because fans dare be upset LESS THAN 3 EPISODES after Derek died, they must have something wrong with them. And that’s not even getting into the disrespect that was shown leading up to Derek’s death…with the horrible, horrible Where’s Derek hashtag and the joy everyone seemed to get in using it, the laughs ABC and Shonda and most of the cast seemed to get out of the way the fans were freaking out and tortured that week. Fans freaking out were retweeted as if it was some game that everyone was laughing about and that it never occurred to you that maybe, the fans wouldn’t be laughing. Has honestly no one in the entire Shondaland family realized the insensitivity to that? No one? Don’t even get me started on the lack of anyone but Meredith being there to say goodbye, the short short funeral scene and the fast forward a year immediately afterwards.
No one has stepped up and addressed fan upset in a polite understanding way. No one has assured us that they know how big of deal this is and how upsetting it would be to some fans. Since then no one involved in the show has stepped up and said a thing about the importance that Derek had on the show. No one has stepped up and said anything about Patrick’s impact on the show despite the fact it was the draw of him that got the show viewers to begin with. Patrick in interviews has talked about the impact of the show and how much he appreciates the fans, Patrick cried talking about the special bond him and Ellen shared. And what does he and the fans get in return? Ellen complaining about her precious ego and telling fans to get over it.
Maybe if anyone has a right to be insulted here it’s Patrick. Because no one seems to be showing him an iota of respect. If Ellen wants to talk about ego getting hurt, wonder if she could imagine leaving a job after 11 years and having absolutely no one say a thing about how much you mattered. Yeah I’d say Patrick is the one getting no respect here (and I really wonder how Ellen can look herself in the mirror saying the shit she said after Patrick CRIED talking about his relationship with her) and has every right to complain. Instead he’s out living and racing and working on a project he’s passionate about and thanking the fans every step of the way. I guess it’s hard to feel bitter standing on podium.
Which brings me back to who is really being insulted here. It’s not Patrick. It’s not Shonda. It’s certainly not Ellen. No, it’s the fans. Who apparently aren’t even worth an interview with Ellen talking about the importance of the Derek and Meredith relationship or the bond her and Patrick shared. Because that would do a lot for making fans feel maybe a bit better. A nice interview with Ellen sitting down and talking about Derek and Patrick and really showing some respect to both men and then assuring fans they hoped that season 12 honored him corrected and that there was still plenty of reasons to tune in. Maybe that would win over some Mer/Der fans that are still rather heartbroken. Instead of fans being told they’re being heard, that they’re being cared about and that people involved understand how upsetting this all is, we get Ellen acting like we’re all a bunch of sexist nutjobs and why oh why can’t she have her own poster???
Ellen, you can. I have nothing against you having your own poster. More shows need to show a women in positions of strength without men defining them and that was something I always loved about Grey’s. But your ego shouldn’t be bruised because fans dare be upset that the guy we all loved that was on the poster with you for 11 years isn’t there anymore. We’re allowed to feel that way.
I loved Meredith and Derek. They represented this amazing story of a woman who had had shit after shit handed to her in life and found a man who loved her completely, who loved her and didn’t want to change her or stop her from becoming the great surgeon she wanted to be. It made me believe in things and want things and it’s why I LOVED the show more than anything. Anything. And now…that’s gone. Her happy ending is gone. Oh she’ll move on, she’ll be okay but that ultimate happy ending with the love of her life, the one Shonda promised the fans, is gone. That’s why I don’t give a shit anymore. That’s why I’m walking entirely away from a show I used to love.
Do not make my upset and anger into some sexist bs that it’s not. Don’t make it into some strange thing about a woman needing a man. Do NOT belittle mine and millions of fans feelings as acting like they’re something wrong or crazy or sexist. Don’t tell us to get over it. We had a character we cared about for 11 years taken away, an OTP we stuck by through a lot of dumb ass plot lines to cause them problems and It was a wiped out in a five minute plot line that felt like it had been pulled together last minute. We had an actor we were all fans of, that very much made the show written out with little ceremony and shown no respect afterwards. And now we’re being teased with a “sexy” new season and being told to forget about it and get over it? No. WE’RE ALLOWED TO BE UPSET. WE’RE ALLOWED TO BE MAD. WE’RE ALLOWED TO STOP WATCHING THE SHOW AND NOT BE ACCUSED TO BEING SEXIST.
ABC, Shonda, Ellen…fans are PEOPLE. People who spent a lot of time loving your show, people who made the show popular in the first place. People who have feelings, even about fictional characters. People who are upset because their feelings are being discounted and belittled by the very people who should be sympathetic to them.
Because here’s the thing, Ellen. It’s not about you. None of this is about you.
It’s about fans and no one on team Grey’s Anatomy showing any god damn compassion.
Except Patrick Dempsey. Funny how that worked out, isn’t it?
Sincerely…a former Grey’s Anatomy fan
PS. This whole “get over it” campaign is making Ellen look like quite the bitch who’s more concerned about her own ego than fans feelings. So…kudos, ABC. You clearly rock at the PR thing.
PPS. Making a race car driver act out a scene in which he dies of massive head trauma after a car accident is damn right mean. The same year Patrick shot this, he had to deal with a friend dying in a race car accident…of major head trauma. He has two young children. So fuck you, Shonda. Fuck you.
