“—Do you think just saying sorry cuts it? If I did not know how much you meant to Lady Satori, I would end you without hesitation, human.” Tora retorted, already mid-conversation with Nero.
“Of course not. I’ve encouraged Satori to eat again. She’s already filling her stomach as we speak. I take action to fix the problem before I ever apologize for it. And I rarely apologize.” (’A hollow apology means nothing, and I refuse to say sorry unless I truly feel it. Hence, I almost never do so since becoming an inquisitor.’) Loud as her thoughts may be for a certain youkai, the beast youkai before her could hear none of it.
“And? You made your mistakes that cost our Lady dearly in suffering. Ceasing your foolishness does not atone for all the hardships you’ve brought on Chireiden.”
“I did so to help Satori! Besides, I refused to eat until I found a solution for her as well.”
“And that means nothing, human. Do you think we care if you’re a hypocrite or have good intentions? No. Whatever pain you subjected yourself to, you forced Chireiden to go many nights in anxiety. We all suffered alongside Lady Satori, seeing the pain she went through. Do you know how many of my fellows cried about Lady Satori? Do you know the anger they felt, seeing you hurt her and insist it’s for her own good? How hard I personally had to resist tearing you apart to save Lady Satori, even if she’d hate me or exile me for it? You have no idea how much anguish you’ve caused with your meddling, but you will not be welcomed back with open arms like nothing happened.”
“…” Nero silently endured the verbal assault, and she resisted the urge to return the furious gaze with a glare of her own. She wasn’t used to it, not ever since becoming an inquisitor, but… this is how apologies always were, weren’t they? “You’re right. I don’t understand. I can’t understand what it was like for you all. I can only see it from my own perspective, with how I was trying to save Satori from her innate problem.”
“The ends do not always justify the means. I thought you knew better than that. All we went though, just because of you…!”
“…Satori wanted it too.” Nero’s eye twitched. Perhaps she was letting her inquisitorial ends-justify-the-means mindset slip into her decision with Satori, but hearing that insulted made her feel the need to stand her ground. Say what you will about her personally, but even something indirectly related to the inquisition was going to get a reaction.
“I can’t understand what you all have been through, but have you ever thought how Satori felt? How she was willing to go through such an ordeal in the first place, wanting me to save her from eating human flesh? She hates that part of herself. It’s a deep self-hatred she’s dealt with all her life. I was trying to genuinely help her with it; not some manipulator trying to take advantage of an insecurity. What has anybody done before me to spare her from that anguish? If it took a week of pain to give her relief for the rest of her life, it would have been worth it.”
“You don’t know what we’ve tried! We’ve wanted her to stop worrying for so long, but she never listens…”
“You can’t just tell a problem to go away. All that does is convince her to hide it even more while it eats at her. It’s why she’s always so malnourished. This has been tormenting her for many, many years.” She paused, and neither woman knew what to say. “…I think I can help with it, though.”
“I think we’ve had about enough of your help.”
“No. Not like before. I think the best person to convince her it’s okay to eat humans, is the human closest to her.” (’I just need to convince myself of it first…’) “All apologies aside, that’s what I wanted to consult you on. Last time, I acted on my own and you see how that ended up for Chireiden. I trust you the most here besides Satori herself.”
“…I’d say, make sure you do it in a way that’s acceptable to you humans.” She crossed her arms, closing her eyes in a much more subdued frustration than before. “The last thing I’d want is you changing your mind again. I don’t think you realize how much sway you have over Lady Satori, so make sure you’re not going to do something that hurts her again down the line. I don’t know if I can forgive you over this. I know I won’t if it ever happens again.”
“A way that’s acceptable to humans… I see.” (’I’m already getting a few ideas, when she phreased it that way. But what did she mean by how much sway I have over Satori?’) “Thank you Tora.”
“Hmph… Just so we’re clear, you’ll need to do more than just this to atone.” She mutedly glared at the inquisitor, who merely nodded in response. “Alright. I think we’re done here.” She transformed back into her tiger form, walking away abruptly to lay down on a nearby cushion. She looked up only to see Nero standing beside her.
“Before I go, may I?” she asked. Tora snarled softly in response, before laying her head back down submissively. Nero knelt beside Tora, slowly stroking the tiger’s fur, from the top of her head down her back. As much as Tora wanted to stay grumpy, it earned some purrs from her throat. She couldn’t help but nuzzle against Nero’s arm and chest as well. Nero smiled softly, seeing that after everything, even Tora was willing to accept her once again. It was a good sign.
“Don’t think you’ll earn my forgiveness so easily with just this, Nero,” cooed Tora once again, having transformed back into human just to speak her mind. It garnered a small jump from Nero, seeming surprised and slightly disturbed. “…Right, you hate petting when we youkai are in this form, don’t you?”
“I like petting animals, not fellow women…” Nero seemed like she wanted to clean her hand after that. She was getting up, having lost her desire to pet by now.
“Animals can’t be women now, you say? Hm… Perhaps we will need to help you overcome that phobia too, sometime.” She laid with her hands behind her head, seeming somewhat satisfied. Whether it was just from the petting or from how for once it was someone else getting flustered by it, tough to say. At least she seemed more casual around Nero now, just like how things used to be before the incident.
“Over my dead body…” Nero wiped her hand against her skirt, before heading off to the kitchen and Satori. Enough time had passed that the youkai surely had eaten her fill by now. She wasn’t sure how much Satori had heard of their conversation, probably being too distracted by hunger, but it mattered little either way. Upon coming to the kitchen, she only gazed in silence at her close friend. (’Satori…’)
At first, the mind reader was way too focused on her hunger and the plates in front of her to really listen to what Nero and Tora were talking about- with Satori starting to eat with the desperation that was expected from her, but at least, Inoshishi was glad to see her master finally consuming something that would be good for her health.
It felt like Heaven, as if some kind of insatiable thirst was finally satisfied- she had to be careful to not choke in what she was eating after not chewing properly, but the boar youkai was there to pat the satori’s back from time to time, offering a glass of water as well in the process.
“Inoshishi and te rest want you to recover, Lady Satori...but don’t be too hasty or Inoshishi will have a new reason to worry...” It was when the words of the boar youkai reached Satori that, the mind reader would finally recover some of her senses, stopping herself from looking like a feral animal and trying to chew her food better.
Until now it felt as if her ears would’ve been covered from any external words that the rest tried to refer to her with, but now...she hear Inoshishi, and she was starting to hear the muffled sounds of Nero and Tora’s voice in the distance.
At least, she was feeling better, so she could only shake her head gently when catching a thing or two about the topic Tora was arguing with Nero about.
“Don’t worry Inoshishi...I don’t plan to just choke on my food...not today.”
Now that her senses were getting balanced, the mind reader took a small breath before closing her eyes to calm down. She ate so fast that the sensation of being full happened faster than expected...Nero warned her about eating after fasting but...Satori couldn’t help but to just eat like that in desperation.
It was only upon Nero getting closer to the kitchen again that, the youkai would look up a little, seeing the other girl at the entrance, verbally silent, but her thoughts were still like spoken words to Satori. Even her third eye would look in Nero’s direction before she passed a handkerchief by her lips- trying to recover her composure quickly to not look too pathetic in front of the Inquisitor.
“Nero...” With a better color in her cheeks, the mind reader would turn around slightly, even if still sitting there. At least...now the woman didn’t look like food to her, and her mind was at ease. “I’m sorry...that you couldn’t find a solution...I guess in the end I simply have to accept this part of my nature...it’s not the worst that could happen...” To be like her brothers...that would’ve been worst, so she was at least glad that she was born with the empathy that the others didn’t seem to feel at all. “The fact you decided to stay even after knowing I can’t be changed...I appreciate it. Greatly.”
