i am (not) trash .

✝ feelin' super super super! suïcïdal ✝ |~18 / agender / pleasantly depressed~|

[despaircircus]

so i live in a city filled with crappy ass drivers and i almost get hit by cars and such on a regular basis. at the time i'd think: "omg pls don't run over me i have so much to live for."

then i realize that no i actually don't cause i'm a shitty ass human who can't do shit in school and is on their way to idk get fucked over in the future

[despaircircus]

my body: oh hey! looks like you're feeling upset for someone about their problem. i guess it's time for me to PISS ON YOUR FUCKING FACE. oh and i'll make sure to let your brain knows about how much of a shitty person you are, no need to thank me! i'M SURE YOU'LL STILL BE ABLE TO HELP THAT FRIEND OUT EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE A GIANT EMOTIONAL WRECK. :D

[despaircircus]

you know you're useless when the person you were trying to help ends up deciding to stop talking to you about their problem because they end up being more concerned about your feelings instead.

[despaircircus]

does anyone ever just suddenly feel like

"wow today/tonight feels like a great day to die"

cause i'm suddenly feeling that and i kinda want to just stab myself through the chest

[dixcnnected]

Bisexual isn’t indecisive

[just-a-lost-soul-in-wonderland]

[learning-2love-myself]

*Follow my blog*

[anxietyismyfriend]

[depressed-as-fux]

[thebloodinmyveinsiscold]

[salt4life-deactivated20151230]

[despaircircus]

i was hoping i'll be abandoning this blog but now i came to a point where i have to force myself to keep a strong face on for my girlfriend's well-being. i'm gonna need to vent pathetically on this blog every once in a while to regurgitate all the pent up negativity i have. did that even make any fucking sense idefk.

[despaircircus]

didn't think self harm would be so fun. lol. it stings but. lol.

[despaircircus]

i'm pathetically scared for myself right now

hahaha

haha ha ha h

what if i do end up killing myself this week.

[despaircircus]

maybe i should pick up on smoking or somefin so at least i'm slowly dying. one puff at a time. haha.

[despaircircus]

i'm so frustrated and i just want to somehow harm myself

it feels like harming myself would release the nasty disgusting feeling inside of me and let myself calm down you know.

[despaircircus]

i actually can't wait until i'm 19 so i can drink all my feelings away and maybe just die from alcohol poisoning cause i fucking hate life right now.