Right now...
...I feel free. I did not get the position that I had interviewed for. Even though the guy that I interviewed with seemed to connect with me. I didn’t even worry about it, felt like we were in sync. Today I learned, we were not, right at the beginning of reading the “thanks but no thanks” email. I was hurt. In my soul. And my body. My mind started going like a runaway train.
I have been making a conscious effort to stay conscious. This was a blow to that well constructed consciousness. I felt like I “fell off the wagon”.
Then I stepped back inside of me and realized that this was the perfect time to practice what I had been studying: being conscious, in that moment. Look at what my mind was saying to me, feel the emotion if there is one, but don’t judge it. Don’t identify with it. I did just that and it hurt quite a bit. In my stomach. In my soul.
‘Cuz my mind had already made a storyline about it, “See he tricked you. He lied to you. You are not as good as you think you are or should be.” But, within a minute I became conscious of the fact that I was thinking in automatic overdrive because at that minute pain and fear had manifested itself as a headache and stomach. The minute that I caught the feeling of pain and regret, I stopped the storyline. I became conscious...