The reasons behind my tears

A sad girl writes poems about how she suffers day to day in her own mind.

[destroyed-completely]

I just want to be me,

Someone I still don't completely know yet,

But I don't want to be,

Who you think I am.

Let me be.

[violentwavesofemotion-deactivat]

“In March she was graceful. In March she was broken.”

— Anna de Noailles, tr. by Norman R. Shapiro, from Poems; “Spring Lullaby,”

[destroyed-completely]

So many times,

You put me down.

You tore down my walls,

You destroyed what little left I had of my self esteem.

And now, I am

NOTHING.

You left me, alone

To rot.

I just want this to end.

[destroyed-completely]

You were all that I wanted,

But not what I deserved.

Letting you go

Was like a feather in the breeze.

Slow,

And a weight off of my shoulders.

[destroyed-completely]

I sometimes wonder

What goes through your head

When I catch you looking back

At me, with the quickest glance and

Smallest smile.

Your actions make my heart flutter.

[tullipsink]

im never going to love anyone the way i loved you

[destroyed-completely]

That's it.

I'm tired of feeling so many things for you,

When you don't even know how I feel.

I'm going to write you a card,

Describing the perfection that you are,

And how I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

[destroyed-completely]

I constantly wonder about how things

Could've been,

And I realize that never in my life,

I will be that lucky

To fall in love

And be loved

In return.

[destroyed-completely]

You like someone,

I wish I knew who it was

So I could get over you more quickly,

And forget this aching pain in my chest.

You'll never want me the way

I want you,

So why do I even bother?

[destroyed-completely]

You say you are alone,

That no one wants to be with you,

But why can't you see

That you're all I want?

[destroyed-completely]

I'm so stupid sometimes,

I actually think I have a chance with you.

Then I see you chat with her,

And I realize I never did.

[destroyed-completely]

I sometimes wonder

What you think of me,

And then I decide I'd rather not know

For I don't want to be hated by you

Or even disliked.

[destroyed-completely]

My jaw is clenched,

You make me angry with all of your stupid decisions.

I care for you, why can't you see that?

[destroyed-completely]

Somebody asked me today if I liked you.

I didn't say anything, I just looked away.

Why is it any of their business if I like you?

I hope you wonder too.

[destroyed-completely]

You are so close to me,

I could reach out to you.

I want to run my fingers through your hair, and tell you how much I love you.

[destroyed-completely]

It's so frustrating,

Liking you,

I just want to scream at you, through tears and all,

About how much I want you, but can't have you.

[destroyed-completely]

This sucks.

Seeing you here, right now,

Today,

Makes me feel everything and nothing

At the same time.

I want to be next to you,

But at what cost?