Writing Something

X it'll mess you up or it'll inspire you X

[devidoeswriting]

🩵🩵🩵

[faintv0x]

The creator of the lesbian flag, Emily Gwen, is currently unhoused and struggling financially while suffering to chronic and mental illness.

I have already contributed to her Kofi, and now I ask you to help, especially if you have ever used the lesbian flag. Even if you can't donate, I urge you to share her Kofi around to reach more audiences

Lesbians support other lesbians 🧡🤍💗

Support Emily

Support Emily Gwen <3

[devidoeswriting]

Every time I come here

I can guarantee two things

Without fail she gives me orgasms and heartbreak

My stomach tightening like I’m in trouble while her eyes swept over me

Taking in every piece of me, inch by inch

Going over me again with her hands, again with her tongue

Butterflies fighting to get out of my stomach

While her hands knead & massage my chest

Nipples spilling out of the black lace I’m wrapped in

I hear a deep moan while she pulls one of them between her teeth

She chuckles with my breast on her tongue

With my back to the inside of her front door

I realize I’m the one moaning

My anticipation dripping down my thighs

Even though last time was supposed to be the last time

Seeing stars as her fingers pressed into the small of my back

Again as they pressed inside of me

Blood on my tongue, sinking my teeth into her shoulder to muffle my screams

“Be careful,” she warns, her fingers stroking me from the inside

“You don’t want to get in trouble…”

My skin starts to prickle while I imagine what trouble could be….

I almost laugh, thinking that if I’m back here, I’m already in trouble

But then she’s sucking on my bottom lip, my tongue, my neck

I can hear that moaning again

I can’t form words while she pulls my orgasm out of me with two fingers

Curled just right

My knees betraying me

Her arms catching me

She’s laughing and I’m unintelligible while she keeps going

In and out

Back and forth

“Shhhhh baby…” she whispers

“Just let me play with you…”

She’s very good at playing (with) me

Eventually we’re on the carpet

Friction on my naked back

Her strap still under her jeans

Digging into the wet lace stuck between my legs while I wrap them around her waist

I’m fingering the greys in her hair

While her fingers trace my thighs

I’m wondering how things would be different

If we had the same wisdom

And she’s pressing down into me

Wondering what I’m thinking

I’m undoing her pants

Desperately pulling her into me

She’s moving so slowly and all I can say is

“Please… please…” over and over

“Please what?”

“Please faster, harder…” she makes me settle for deeper

It’s symbolic of our relationship

She wants to know more, probing deeper

I want her to commit to me more, love me harder

And it’s torture…

But right now it feels so good as she releases me

Again

And again

And again

I’m loosing count of how many times I’ve screamed for her tonight

Like I’ve lost count of how many times we’ve argued

And all of the ways we hurt each other

Knees on either side of my head while she lowers herself down onto me

She is so sweet on my tongue

Her excitement dripping

Literally dripping

Into my mouth

She denies it, but I know she likes when it hurts

Just a little

Physically and emotionally

And somehow I am able to do both

In fact we’re really good at hurting each other like that

After her third orgasm I’m sucking on the lips between her thighs

Then I’m biting

Sucking

Biting

She’s getting louder as she says my name

Over and over

I wonder if anyone else can hear her

While she cums again and again

She is stunning, especially now

Swearing, moaning, writhing above me while I palm her chest

My skin light against hers

My nails pulling her nipples

Then raking down her back

“You are so beautiful,” she says, looking down at me

I try not think about how embarrassed she would be to be caught with me

We’re resting, laying skin to skin

Smoke floating from joints to our lungs and into the air

Her chest salty under my tongue

Stimulating the situation

“You’re so bad…” she moans

I wonder if I’ll come again before I go home

Now completely naked on top of her

Except for a thin blanket she draped over us

Her fingers answer that question

Kneading at ass, pulling at my hips

She hands me her smoke

My head spinning

I’m on my back

Getting higher and higher

While her hands slip under me

Then smooth over my back

Going down, spreading me open

I like to feel full and she knows this

And while there are ways I feel almost empty

One way she distracts me from this is with two fingers

Entering me two different ways

While she tries to ignore how guilty she feels for not satisfying me completely

As neglected as I am romantically

Sexually I am provided for

In these moments I never ask what she’s thinking

And when she asks what’s on my mind, I’m not honest

In reality

We’re both thinking about the things we fight about

I make her feel like she can’t give me enough, she makes me feel like I’m not good enough to choose

There’s some truth and some drama to both points

Because really it’s more complicated than that

This is why I don’t leave

I think, as she moans in my ear

“You belong to me…”

And I do in a way

A way that doesn’t really suit either of us

I’m thinking too much

Grateful that she starts to go faster

Her other hand wrapped around my throat

Blocking any thoughts from my heart to my head

Her mouth on my ear

Reminding me why I come back over and over

Because it feels so good

She makes me feel so good

While she says I’m hers

I wish it was her girl

While after almost a year of sneaking around

I feel more like her experiment

Something she tries but doesn’t commit to

A new hobby… one she is naturally very good at

I know we’re done when she starts talking about being gay

I know she loves me, but she also hates being queer

She denies it but I can tell by the way she sighs and apologizes to me

And the way she talks about being with a girl like it’s a fantasy

Something she trials but won’t sign on to

Which is hard to come to grips to while she’s skin to skin with me

“I love you, but I don’t claim you…”

And I feel sick

I fall asleep here often

Tuning out this part of our dates

Wide awake but thinking of anything other than what’s happening right now

Because the way she can’t settle with this part of herself obviously hurts her

But tonight all I can feel is how this hurts me too

I start to make little digs so she will let me go

When she apologizes for not committing to me, I remind her that it doesn’t have to be like this

And when she shoulders the blame, I hesitate, but I don’t disagree

We’re both quietly crying now, I can feel her tears on my chest while I run my hands along her beautiful, silky, dark skin

Holding each other but not speaking

She doesn’t know what to do with the tears rolling down my face

And I don’t know how much more of this I can take

I feel guilty for asking for more

But I feel ashamed for settling, too

I know it’s not me, it’s society

Because we’re West Indian

Because of our culture

Because of her faith

She tells me what we do goes against everything in her

And suddenly it hurts to breathe

I’m pulling my dress back on

She tells me that she’s going to be braver

Commit, really give this a shot

But I’m unconvinced

Mainly because I’ve heard this before

But also because orgasms usually make her nonsensical

“Stop making promises to me…”

“I’m sorry I make you so sad…”

“Me too.”

I don’t wake up until I’m back home

In the shower

Or in my own bed

I miss her hands

But feel lighter, almost freer

Released, I feel released

From her fear and confusion

Not in me, but in herself

For wanting women

Wanting me

Every time is the last time

In the way that it never really is

Because I tell her I can’t do it any more

And we both know I’ll be back

Every time I come here

I can guarantee two things

Without fail she gives me orgasms and heartbreak

- A quiet love

DC Banfield / Sept. 24. 2024

[devidoeswriting]

She accuses me of shutting down

Saying I always come to her guarded

And she’s not wrong

These days I do keep her at an arms length, even when we’re skin to skin

Because at some point she will say something that hurts

Like when she said she talks to lots of people about me

They just don’t know it’s me per se

aka… they don’t know she’s with a woman

Which after 10 months… is rough

Or sometimes, it stings

Like when she apologized for loving me

But not claiming me

Or when she said I deserved to be more than a dirty secret

Which was a lot to hear her say out loud

Because it was the first time she had admitted that I was exactly that

Or sometimes, she’ll say something that makes me uncomfortable

Like when she shared that her ex husband had asked if I eat her pussy

And she entertained the conversation

She bragged, and he compared our sex life to lesbian porn he enjoys

She relays this to me while we’re half naked on her couch

She’s laughing while I turn on my side, facing away from her

While she puts her arm around my waist I’m thinking about how she fetishizes us with her husband

“Ex husband,” she’d say

Like it matters in the context

I’m not innocent in this

As she points out

I always go back

Mainly because she is good with her hands

But also because I did love her at one point

and part of me is waiting for it to come back

It was easier when I didn’t understand how much she disassociated from being queer

She talks about “gay people” as if she doesn’t frequently enjoy having me naked in her bed

And then I feel this sinking feeling in my stomach, embarrassed that I thought it was love

Like real love

And not just an exhausting year-long experiment

She accuses me of always coming to her guarded

Ready to fight, on the verge of tears

And she’s not wrong

Tonight I do keep her at an arms length, even when we’re skin to skin

Because at some point she will do something that hurts me

- Hurt in the Closet/DC Banfield

28.09.24

[devidoeswriting]

She accuses me of shutting down

Saying I always come to her guarded

And she’s not wrong

These days I do keep her at an arms length, even when we’re skin to skin

Because at some point she will say something that hurts

Like when she said she talks to lots of people about me

They just don’t know it’s me per se

aka… they don’t know she’s with a woman

Which after 10 months… is rough

Or sometimes, it stings

Like when she apologized for loving me

But not claiming me

Or when she said I deserved to be more than a dirty secret

Which was a lot to hear her say out loud

Because it was the first time she had admitted that I was exactly that

Or sometimes, she’ll say something that makes me uncomfortable

Like when she shared that her ex husband had asked if I eat her pussy

And she entertained the conversation

She bragged, and he compared our sex life to lesbian porn he enjoys

She relays this to me while we’re half naked on her couch

She’s laughing while I turn on my side, facing away from her

While she puts her arm around my waist I’m thinking about how she fetishizes us with her husband

“Ex husband,” she’d say

Like it matters in the context

I’m not innocent in this

As she points out

I always go back

Mainly because she is good with her hands

But also because I did love her at one point

and part of me is waiting for it to come back

It was easier when I didn’t understand how much she disassociated from being queer

She talks about “gay people” as if she doesn’t frequently enjoy having me naked in her bed

And then I feel this sinking feeling in my stomach, embarrassed that I thought it was love

Like real love

And not just an exhausting year-long experiment

She accuses me of always coming to her guarded

Ready to fight, on the verge of tears

And she’s not wrong

Tonight I do keep her at an arms length, even when we’re skin to skin

Because at some point she will do something that hurts me

- Hurt in the Closet/DC Banfield

28.09.24

[devidoeswriting]

Every time I come here

I can guarantee two things

Without fail she gives me orgasms and heartbreak

My stomach tightening like I’m in trouble while her eyes swept over me

Taking in every piece of me, inch by inch

Going over me again with her hands, again with her tongue

Butterflies fighting to get out of my stomach

While her hands knead & massage my chest

Nipples spilling out of the black lace I’m wrapped in

I hear a deep moan while she pulls one of them between her teeth

She chuckles with my breast on her tongue

With my back to the inside of her front door

I realize I’m the one moaning

My anticipation dripping down my thighs

Even though last time was supposed to be the last time

Seeing stars as her fingers pressed into the small of my back

Again as they pressed inside of me

Blood on my tongue, sinking my teeth into her shoulder to muffle my screams

“Be careful,” she warns, her fingers stroking me from the inside

“You don’t want to get in trouble…”

My skin starts to prickle while I imagine what trouble could be….

I almost laugh, thinking that if I’m back here, I’m already in trouble

But then she’s sucking on my bottom lip, my tongue, my neck

I can hear that moaning again

I can’t form words while she pulls my orgasm out of me with two fingers

Curled just right

My knees betraying me

Her arms catching me

She’s laughing and I’m unintelligible while she keeps going

In and out

Back and forth

“Shhhhh baby…” she whispers

“Just let me play with you…”

She’s very good at playing (with) me

Eventually we’re on the carpet

Friction on my naked back

Her strap still under her jeans

Digging into the wet lace stuck between my legs while I wrap them around her waist

I’m fingering the greys in her hair

While her fingers trace my thighs

I’m wondering how things would be different

If we had the same wisdom

And she’s pressing down into me

Wondering what I’m thinking

I’m undoing her pants

Desperately pulling her into me

She’s moving so slowly and all I can say is

“Please… please…” over and over

“Please what?”

“Please faster, harder…” she makes me settle for deeper

It’s symbolic of our relationship

She wants to know more, probing deeper

I want her to commit to me more, love me harder

And it’s torture…

But right now it feels so good as she releases me

Again

And again

And again

I’m loosing count of how many times I’ve screamed for her tonight

Like I’ve lost count of how many times we’ve argued

And all of the ways we hurt each other

Knees on either side of my head while she lowers herself down onto me

She is so sweet on my tongue

Her excitement dripping

Literally dripping

Into my mouth

She denies it, but I know she likes when it hurts

Just a little

Physically and emotionally

And somehow I am able to do both

In fact we’re really good at hurting each other like that

After her third orgasm I’m sucking on the lips between her thighs

Then I’m biting

Sucking

Biting

She’s getting louder as she says my name

Over and over

I wonder if anyone else can hear her

While she cums again and again

She is stunning, especially now

Swearing, moaning, writhing above me while I palm her chest

My skin light against hers

My nails pulling her nipples

Then raking down her back

“You are so beautiful,” she says, looking down at me

I try not think about how embarrassed she would be to be caught with me

We’re resting, laying skin to skin

Smoke floating from joints to our lungs and into the air

Her chest salty under my tongue

Stimulating the situation

“You’re so bad…” she moans

I wonder if I’ll come again before I go home

Now completely naked on top of her

Except for a thin blanket she draped over us

Her fingers answer that question

Kneading at ass, pulling at my hips

She hands me her smoke

My head spinning

I’m on my back

Getting higher and higher

While her hands slip under me

Then smooth over my back

Going down, spreading me open

I like to feel full and she knows this

And while there are ways I feel almost empty

One way she distracts me from this is with two fingers

Entering me two different ways

While she tries to ignore how guilty she feels for not satisfying me completely

As neglected as I am romantically

Sexually I am provided for

In these moments I never ask what she’s thinking

And when she asks what’s on my mind, I’m not honest

In reality

We’re both thinking about the things we fight about

I make her feel like she can’t give me enough, she makes me feel like I’m not good enough to choose

There’s some truth and some drama to both points

Because really it’s more complicated than that

This is why I don’t leave

I think, as she moans in my ear

“You belong to me…”

And I do in a way

A way that doesn’t really suit either of us

I’m thinking too much

Grateful that she starts to go faster

Her other hand wrapped around my throat

Blocking any thoughts from my heart to my head

Her mouth on my ear

Reminding me why I come back over and over

Because it feels so good

She makes me feel so good

While she says I’m hers

I wish it was her girl

While after almost a year of sneaking around

I feel more like her experiment

Something she tries but doesn’t commit to

A new hobby… one she is naturally very good at

I know we’re done when she starts talking about being gay

I know she loves me, but she also hates being queer

She denies it but I can tell by the way she sighs and apologizes to me

And the way she talks about being with a girl like it’s a fantasy

Something she trials but won’t sign on to

Which is hard to come to grips to while she’s skin to skin with me

“I love you, but I don’t claim you…”

And I feel sick

I fall asleep here often

Tuning out this part of our dates

Wide awake but thinking of anything other than what’s happening right now

Because the way she can’t settle with this part of herself obviously hurts her

But tonight all I can feel is how this hurts me too

I start to make little digs so she will let me go

When she apologizes for not committing to me, I remind her that it doesn’t have to be like this

And when she shoulders the blame, I hesitate, but I don’t disagree

We’re both quietly crying now, I can feel her tears on my chest while I run my hands along her beautiful, silky, dark skin

Holding each other but not speaking

She doesn’t know what to do with the tears rolling down my face

And I don’t know how much more of this I can take

I feel guilty for asking for more

But I feel ashamed for settling, too

I know it’s not me, it’s society

Because we’re West Indian

Because of our culture

Because of her faith

She tells me what we do goes against everything in her

And suddenly it hurts to breathe

I’m pulling my dress back on

She tells me that she’s going to be braver

Commit, really give this a shot

But I’m unconvinced

Mainly because I’ve heard this before

But also because orgasms usually make her nonsensical

“Stop making promises to me…”

“I’m sorry I make you so sad…”

“Me too.”

I don’t wake up until I’m back home

In the shower

Or in my own bed

I miss her hands

But feel lighter, almost freer

Released, I feel released

From her fear and confusion

Not in me, but in herself

For wanting women

Wanting me

Every time is the last time

In the way that it never really is

Because I tell her I can’t do it any more

And we both know I’ll be back

Every time I come here

I can guarantee two things

Without fail she gives me orgasms and heartbreak

- A quiet love

DC Banfield / Sept. 24. 2024

[sexinthecityyyyyy]

Wet

Deliciously sticky, and wet

Pink cheeks, racing heart and lips open

Whispering filth in your ears while you feel me

I want your fingers curled inside of me

Pushing me open, Spreading me, Taking me

Dripping, moaning, melting into your hand

Begging, biting, screaming for more

Do I taste good when I want you, baby?

Your thigh between my legs

My want dripping against you

More, I want more, and I want it now

I crave it now

Teeth wrapped around my nipple, your fingers still in my core

Begging you for release as you pull my breast into your hungry mouth

My fingers in your hair pushing you

Down, down, down, down

Your tongue inside of me

Legs over your shoulders

Fingers in your curls

Hips to your cheeks

Me in your mouth

On your chest

Down your throat

Take it, take it, take it

It’s mine, she breathes as I finish

Hot, sticky, deliciously sticky

It smells like want

You taste like me

I radiate desire

Your breasts again mine

As I suck myself off of your lips

Fingers dipping down to trace your other lips

Slippery for me as I rub slow, small circles

Your breath catches in your throat

Nails dig in the back of my neck

Deeper, you moan as I stop halfway inside

Where?

Deeper Inside of me

Teeth sinking into my shoulder

As I take you in my hand

Lips grazing my palm

Rocking, rocking, rocking

Take me, take me, take me

One hand tracing your throat

The other massages you from the inside out

Your hand grazes my thighs

Please take it

Inside of me in seconds

Like you own it

Because you do

All for me?

You breathe as I drip down your fingers

Swollen, tight, wet, sticky, deliciously sticky

Such a pretty pussy baby

All for you baby

I wonder if your husband knows

That you desire me like this

Desire women like this

Desire pussy like this

— Desire

DC 6.10.2022

[werenotreallystrangers]

[7l7l7l7l7l7l7l7]

i hope you feel what i felt when you shattered my soul

[devidoeswriting]

Concept: we use the word virgin as it was originally intended

A word meaning strength, power

Virgin: sexually independent

Not sexually abstinent

Belonging to no one, inhibited by no man

Forcefully independent

We stop valuing a false ideal of purity

And start valuing a strong idea of femininity

Stop valuing a woman as being naive and untouched

Rather than valuing her as being knowledgeable, experienced and wise in the ways of the world

Valuing her for being herself in all of the complexities that come with it

I am so much more than a pretty face

But we live in a world where what lays between our legs has more value then what grows between our ears

Virgin // Devon Clare Banfield

[devidoeswriting]

I want to kiss you

Soft Slow Deeply Passionately

I want to kiss you while all the world behind us fades into black I want to kiss you without expectation I want kissing you to be the only objective I want your hands to wander and your breath to quicken I want your legs to tremble I want your chest to heave

I want to kiss until you’re smiling into my mouth Until I’m laughing into yours Until I sink my teeth into your bottom lip Until I hear you moan out for me

I want to massage your lips with my own My fingers kneading your hips Roaming your sides Grasping your waist

I want my tongue to tickle your lips I want my tongue to dance with yours I want to taste what else has touched your tongue While making you forget anything else ever did

I want to kiss you Until my lungs run out of air And I have to breath through yours Until you’re moaning into my mouth Your body pressed to mine Fingers tangled into my curls Pulling me deeper into your kiss Further into your kiss

I want to kiss you so passionately That you’re engulfed into me Totally ignorant to anything around us I want the windows to fog up I want the air to grow warmer and warmer

I want to kiss you until you’re dizzy Light headedly dizzy And then I want to pull away Rest my hands on your hips Rest my forehead against yours And I want to ask you what the answer to 2+2 is And I want you to be so over come you giggle my name in response

-Kiss You// DevBanfield 20.02.2016

[devidoeswriting]

And maybe my parents gave me the name of a man

Because I am destined to accomplish feats only ever previously accomplished by a man

Because I am destined to pave the way for my god daughters,

my nieces,

my cousins

Sisters

Mother

Grandmothers

Every woman who will never come from my womb

But will come after me

For those who have no leader have to become the leader in their place

Maybe I am destined to take everything that has ever been noble, brave, courageous

And make it womanly to withhold

.-Womanly//Devon Clare Banfield

19.12.2018

[devidoeswriting]

And maybe my parents gave me the name of a man

Because I am destined to accomplish feats only ever previously accomplished by a man

Because I am destined to pave the way for my god daughters,

my nieces,

my cousins

Sisters

Mother

Grandmothers

Every woman who will never come from my womb

But will come after me

For those who have no leader have to become the leader in their place

Maybe I am destined to take everything that has ever been noble, brave, courageous

And make it womanly to withhold

.-Womanly//Devon Clare Banfield

19.12.2018

[devidoeswriting]

Be your own hero

I am through with waiting for someone to come and love me

Hold me

Pull me together

I have spent my whole life with myself

And I am the only person who will be with me forever

Be kind to yourself

Save yourself

Love and protect yourself

For every brave, courageous, independent woman who has come before me

Inspired me, motivated me

Every Oprah

Every Ellen

Every Maya Angelou

Has been the hero of her own story

And I will be the hero of mine

I don’t need a hero

Because I already am one

Hero//Devon Clare Banfield

29.11.2018

[devidoeswriting]

I’ve never looked for another half

A better half

Somebody or something to complete me

Because I was born a whole woman

I will die a whole woman

I am whole

A whole growing, blossoming, thriving woman

Just as I am

-Whole//Devon Clare Banfield

28.11.2018

[devidoeswriting]

As soon as I let go of everything that held me back

Let go of everything that I was

I instantly began to become everything that I am supposed to be

Let Go//Devon Clare Banfield

27.11.2018

[devidoeswriting]

It has never mattered

Whether she was someone’s mother, daughter, sister, niece

When bruises rose to the surface of her skin

When hands wrapped around the centre of her throat

Broken plates, doors, bones

Holes punched in walls

By furious, flying fists

Screaming, windows and walls shaking

Broken promises, hearts, jaws

When the lady down the street died, suffocated

We were devastated but we were not surprised

When our uncle hits our auntie

When our sister’s boyfriend is a little too rough with her when he’s angry, when he’s drunk

When she says, I’m okay,

All I hear is help me, please

Because we never think it will be our daughter, girlfriend, sister, mother

But neither did the woman who was battered

Black and blue “That would never happen to me”

Until it does

My body is not a weapon of war

Until it is

While millions of our sisters are being raped and beaten globally

As a scare tactic, an exertion of power

By strangers

By friends

By family and partners

And when a woman wrote a book

When she shared stories of women

Their fear and the violence they suffered

When she shed light on the situation

She was embraced by one community and outcast by another

When she helped girls all over the world to flee the torture they suffered, she wasn’t seen by all as hero

Rather a dramatic woman with too much to say

When all she was saying was

“Stop hurting us, please”

And it doesn’t matter

That I am someone’s daughter, sister, niece, aunt

But it matters that I am someone

-International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women

26.11.2018

[devidoeswriting]

The 26th of November marks the International Day to Eliminate Violence Against Women. 137 women are killed by a family member or friend every day around the world, this makes home one of the most dangerous place for women to be. Of the 87,000 women reported murdered globally last year, 50,000 of those murders were committed by people close to them. This isn’t an issue that is far away either, domestic abuse statistics show that The America’s have the second highest rate of women being murdered by partners and relatives, coming second only to Africa.

I also linked an informative BBC article if you want to do your own research 🧡

https://Www.bbc.com/news/world-46292919