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@dharmawavesblog-blog
Retreat without retreating
January is traditionally Buddhist retreat season – it’s cold and dark outside, so we huddle up and get down to some serious meditation. During retreats, we retreat from the busyness of our normal lives, give ourselves a mental break by taking time out from our usual activities. So, this January, we’re moving house. So much for being less busy! I found myself thinking, ‘It doesn’t look I’ll get to…
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Here's to us
Here’s to us
New Year: a time of hopes and plans and wishes. We all make different wishes, but we are all wishing for the same thing: to be happy. We all make different resolutions, but our essential resolve is the same: to make things better. This year, let’s make those wishes count by multiplying them by all living beings. We all want the same thing anyway, so when you wish for happiness then make that wish…
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'Tis the season to be jolly
‘Tis the season to be jolly
It’s the season of goodwill, generosity, peace on Earth, all that lovely stuff: so why is it harder to love people at Christmas than at any other time of the year? When we get stressed, our mind fills up with mental noise and it’s hard to find space for other people in it. And Christmas can be stressful, what with all the expectations. So, we need a strategy for not biting anyone’s head off this…
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Anger Awareness Week
Today marks the beginning of Anger Awareness Week. We might think that anger is obvious, but the more aware we are then the more we can see negative thoughts right as they begin to develop, so that we can nip them in the bud. Normally, by the time we’ve spotted a delusion, we’ve built up quite a head of steam and it’s very difficult to change track: to be more successful as changing negative…
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Dealing with conflict
When I was at infants school, there was a little boy in my class who persisted in screaming very loudly directly into my ear. A very literal cry for attention. Well, it worked – I still remember him now – but my memories are not exactly fond. Creating conflict may well make a lasting impression, but never a good one. It still feels a bit like the schoolyard. We’ve grown upwards, but have we…
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Leave me in peace
Leave me in peace
Dealing with distractions. That’s the biggie. There are lots of tips I could give you about this topic, but the most important is: don’t give yourself a hard time. When we’re trying to concentrate, then it is inevitable that sometimes (approximately every two seconds, if you’re like me) distracting thoughts will come along. We want them to go away and leave us in peace, so the instinct is to push…
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Coping with change
Most of us get a bit anxious when things change. I thought this post seemed topical because, as you may know, Nagarjuna Centre has just bought a new building and is in the (rather drawn-out) process of moving home. This is a truly wonderful change… but sometimes even changes for the better can make us uncomfortable. We cling onto the familiar, even when the familiar is not that great. It is this…
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Happy World Smile Day!
Happy World Smile Day!
Atisha said, ‘Always keep a smiling face and a loving mind, and speak truthfully without malice.’ Today – World Smile Day – would be a good day to imagine what the world would be like if everybody could follow just this one simple piece of advice. Making an effort to smile naturally makes you feel better, and it is so infectious – smile at the cashier in a supermarket and watch the smile spread…
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The Five Forces pt II: familiarity does not breed contempt
The Five Forces pt II: familiarity does not breed contempt
When you boil it right down, Dharma practice is basically about cultivating the same thoughts again and again until they become a habit. Simple, really. ‘Boring, really,’ might be your first thought – but if you find those thoughts inspiring (see the previous post for how to cultivate this) then it’s not boring at all. I think that phrase, ‘familiarity breeds contempt,’ comes from not realizing…
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The Five Forces: a motivational speech
The Five Forces: a motivational speech
The Five Forces give power to our spiritual practice and help us to integrate everything we learn into our daily life. This makes them especially important for us as modern Buddhists, because the real beauty of Kadampa practice is in unifying meditation and daily activities. We don’t need to set ourselves apart from the world in order to attain realizations: we are encouraged to use every aspect…
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Selfie Culture
Why is it so much more interesting to look at pictures of ourselves than others? Come, on, you know it’s true: how many times have you browsed rather apathetically through Facebook posts and then suddenly sat up and paid attention because that photo has meeeee in it? ‘Oh look, there I am: the most important person in the universe!’ This culture of placing the self first, while deeply instinctive,…
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Learning to like yourself
Learning to like yourself
We usually spend quite a bit of time worrying about whether other people like us, but it’s really much more important to like ourselves. Do you feel comfortable in your own skin? Do you even know how you feel, really? We need to feel happy with ourselves if we’re to make authentic spiritual progress. Otherwise, it’s very easy to misinterpret some of the teachings and end up undermining ourselves.…
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Overcoming laziness
Today is #NationalLazyDay *. Seriously, wow. Actually, that sounds quite appealing… but not really a very good idea. Coincidently, I was just listening to a teaching on effort this morning, so I’m feeling inspired to reduce the global laziness quota a bit with this post. Effort, the opposite of laziness, is a mind that delights in virtue. So you can be very busy, but still be being lazy in a…
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How delusions develop
When I was about five, I got knocked over by a taxi. I remember it very clearly: my mum and I were crossing a road outside King’s Cross station; the lights changed when we were halfway across, and the taxi driver got impatient and nudged forward onto the crossing. The front of the car bumped into my mum; she bumped into me; I fell over. My mother, naturally, got very cross and started yelling at…
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Faultless
‘Love everyone,’ we’re told. Easier said than done! But if we could learn to stop seeing faults in others, it would be easy to cherish them. Focusing on faults in others creates fault-lines in our relationships; too much pressure, and they can crack right open. In Eight Steps to Happiness, Geshe-la says: Unfortunately we have become very skilled in recognising the faults of others, and we devote…
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The meaningful & the mundane
The meaningful & the mundane
I think we all have a deep-seated craving to feel that our life has meaning – but what makes something meaningful? Nothing is meaningful from its own side: it all depends upon our motivation. You probably expect me to tell you that you should meditate to make your life meaningful – but without the right motivation, even meditation won’t do that much. Don’t get me wrong, of course I think you…
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Loving kindness
Love is kind: it is a mind that wishes happiness upon others. It is the great protector from suffering because when our mind is filled with love it is always at peace. There is a beautiful story from the life of Buddha Shakyamuni: when he is sitting under the bodhi tree striving for enlightenment, all the obstructing spirits in the world attack him with fearsome weapons; but through the force of…
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