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hauntedselves

DEARMAN, interpersonal effectiveness skill

Describe the situation,

Express your feelings and opinions,

Assert yourself by asking or saying no,

Reinforce & reward desired behaviour,

stay Mindful of your goals,

Appear confident and gently forceful,

Negotiate and compromise

- From DBT Skills Training, Handouts and Worksheets by Marsha M. Linehan

fcknfeline-deactivated20240422

not gonna lie dialectical behavioral therapy is lowkey goated in situations where persistent suicidal ideation is the vibe

dialecticalchicken

DBT won't fix you, it won't make you not be mentally ill anymore, it won't tell you what's most important in your life and give you back everything you're missing- at least, it usually won't.

What it *is* is a set of tools that can help you wiggle out of traps. Internal traps, social traps- you know, when everything goes slantwise and wrong.

The more you practice and understand them, the more they work. On days when you practice and read them, they work way more.

dialecticalchicken

https://static1.squarespace.com/static/577d2ce937c58194f7d39816/t/60c7e92fa3583448b8c6fa19/1623714139969/dbt_skills_training_handouts_and_worksheets_-_linehan_marsha_srg_.pdf

You can make the same point, and whether you're making the point as if you're agreeing or disagreeing with the person you're talking to-

peoples who have meltdowns where you hit, bite, or scratch yourself. i love you! please get some concealer and watch some youtube videos about it and practice with it, so you don't end up in a shit situation re: marks. or put it on your list of things you want to buy when you have more money. meltdowns are shit

dialecticalchicken

Autistics, please do not neg people in an attempt to not seem over friendly or an attempt to not seem fake or whatever. Thank you.

dialecticalchicken

Also, sometimes you may think, "Hey, maybe I have to be mean/sarcastic/cuss, etc, other people are doing it and it seems to work for them and trying to be sweet isn't working for me"-

Okay, one, there's a lot of things that aren't against the social rules to do, really, but you should avoid doing them if you don't have the social skills to pull them off.

Two, if it seems like "people like it better when people are mean" or something, the applicable thing probably isn't so much "mean" as it is, like, "clear honest communication" or "standing up for yourself and not being a doormat" which you don't have to be particularly pissy to do, even though-

Autistics, please do not neg people in an attempt to not seem over friendly or an attempt to not seem fake or whatever. Thank you.

Everything is interactable.

Autistic people:

Do a cope ahead for refusing help.

Do a cope ahead for refusing help, reassessing, and asking for help.

Are you sort of throwing knives right now?

Don't be trapped by the framework you think you have to speak in.

the entire internet is just full of opportunities to practice your dbt skills, isn't it

linkinmoon

Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore

electraheart2012

being alive is like: you want to go home. you don't know where home is. you want to go home. you don't know where home is. you want to go home. you haven't known for a long time. you want to go home but you don't know where you'd go. you want to go home you want to go home you want to go home

People do not know that you did not mean the worst reasonable interpretation of your words unless you say so.

Think about what your actions you do and don't object to. Think about it honestly in your own head. Don't just react don't just react don't just react except sometimes

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