I accidentally hit my gum real hard (with my toothbrush) when I brushed my teeth this morning and dammmmnnnnnnnnnn it’s still hurting at night.

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@dianmz
I accidentally hit my gum real hard (with my toothbrush) when I brushed my teeth this morning and dammmmnnnnnnnnnn it’s still hurting at night.
051525
Work had been kicking my butt, but at least for the next 90 days I should be... good..... IYKYK.
I am so angry all the time I sometimes can’t even recognize myself.
I don’t know what I am supposed to do with this. I am angry, it makes me mean; I am prickly, I don’t know how to act like a normal person when I look at people and wonder when they are going to attack me.
The feeling when I am just casually drowning. I can see the land, I can see people, but I can’t realistically paddle my way to the civilization.
Feeling a little hopeless.
The longer I work the less I know what I am doing.
I want to be away from everyone sometimes.
Was having a mini mental breakdown, then I remembered I had an event in the Sat morning.
“Oh… I need to check the parking…” said I, as I took a break from the mental breakdown.
“Haha, okay… I knew I prepaid the parking.” I thought to myself, as I returned to the aforementioned mental breakdown.
How to say “I love my job but I hate working so much” professionally?
Maybe this is why they have to pay people to work.
(I say this, as if people don’t NEED money to survive.)
-
Hi, how are you? I went to sleep at 8pm right after dinner because food made me sleepy, now I am wide awake at an ungodly hour because I decided to sleep at 8pm.
-
Side note:
I wish I could use the phrase “kitten, daddy doesn’t feel so good” casually in real life.
-
Side note:
When my own mother replied “okay but that’s your opinion” when I said [insert something personal and controversial here].
Uh??????????????? Gagged.
Mentally… I just want to do pottery and be away from the internet.
I am at the tail end of my depressive episode/ mood swings right now and tbh, I think some warm soft pretzel sticks can heal me.
(Debilitating depression but I think I am gonna make it through this time, lads. Right before my big international work trip. Which is……… oh god… thank you. Thank you… thank god……)
Say.. the therapist? Are they still in the picture anywhere? This all sounds very worrying :')
You know how, like, if you visualized happiness as water, your brain as a jar; you could have a pretty straight forward view of “when the jar is full life is going good/ jar is almost empty life is kinda sucky rn but refills are coming soon.”
My brain right now is a colander. I’d done so much to fill the metaphorical jar that I didn’t realize everything I poured into it just fell right out of there instantaneously. (And I’ve poured a lot of stuff in there over the past couple of years.)
I’ve spent so much money on therapists that I am, not gonna lie, feeling extremely bitter about therapy.
Cousin (near Portland) is getting married in August. I think I will do a mini road trip on my own in that area after attending his ceremony.
Chronic depression is having the tightest hold on me right now and I have a feeling that I’m going to go insane if I don’t find a way to break this cycle (asap).
I had been arguing with the voice in my head and tbh, the arguments had been mean; did not get any satisfaction from them.
It is like… what am I even doing??? It is like… god I am so sad but I am also a workaholic so I don’t have time to take a breather. And it’s also like… when I do force myself to work on a weekend (because I don’t want to deal with emotions) I get extra depressed BECAUSE I am forcing myself to work on a WEEKEND. AND…. It’s like…….. then I am like, ugh, you know what, I will NOT work on weekends anymore, then guess what? I still get more depressed because now I have this much free time to contemplate my own problems.
Am so antsy. What I need is someone to seriously abuse me a little. Kick me down and hurt me.
Not to mention that I am also sick right now. Yeah, I know I am sick as fuck mentally, I am talking about physically. I caught something bad at last week’s pottery class. I have been physically miserable for almost 5 days now. Not sick enough to not be at work though. So I will be miserable mentally and physically at work, bright and early tomorrow. :)
Fun, love it.
When the barista from the cafe I frequent told me: “You are so pretty, btw. I hope you are gay.” Handed me the coffee. And then just turned around and walked away.
Okay, come back!!! COME BACK.
Now that I think about it, y’all, I *THINK* my chronic depression never went away.
It does feel more intense this year.
Also, being emotionally unavailable for anything doesn’t help neither.
Wait… maybe this is a “chicken or egg” question.
Which comes first???
The feeling when: I am depressed af, but my daily itinerary is full because I plan ahead (I am a high functioning workaholic) and planing for things makes me happy. Does it work? Sometimes. But till the end of the day I just want to claw my guts out. Maybe I JUST need a nap.
Anyways…..
I don’t want to die; I just want to be in a coma (with no irl consequence*) for 8 months.
*Consequence: Human’s one of many design flaws.
These past three days had been so stressful for me, you know what? 2025, consider I have been properly stressed. Stop…! STOP!!!!!
Yooooooooooooo what the f-
What is this overwhelming urge to… fuck off to a new place and never speak to anyone in my life ever again…
I am over it. Over everything, over everyone.
Maybe I should….
Straight up want to die (but not for real for real, just emotionally) when a dead work project comes back alive to haunt me.
Kill me (not physically). Oh my god…. Kill me (not really)…..!!!!!!!
Wow…. I am alive………. (For now).
Nvm I am dead.
Straight up want to die (but not for real for real, just emotionally) when a dead work project comes back alive to haunt me.
Kill me (not physically). Oh my god…. Kill me (not really)…..!!!!!!!
Wow…. I am alive………. (For now).
Straight up want to die (but not for real for real, just emotionally) when a dead work project comes back alive to haunt me.
Kill me (not physically). Oh my god…. Kill me (not really)…..!!!!!!!