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@diantra-blog
waktu waktu yang (seharusnya) tidak digunakan untuk itu.
70% jatah berpikirku aku gunakan ketika menyetir. 30% nya aku gunakan ketika shalat. tidak tahu kenapa, kegiatan yang malah membutuhkan konsentrasi tinggi, aku pakai untuk berpikir segala hal yang lain. katanya ketika menyetir, pikiran sedetik saja tidak…
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maybe i am, maybe i am not.
i’ve been called a lot lately. some of them nice, some of them hurtful. but, stronger the tree, stronger the wind blows it, right? i have no intention of hitting back with bad words, not my style. i could if i wanted to. again – not my style.
anyway,…
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whatever
whatever http://wp.me/s2XIDP-whatever
in hard times, in many mistakes and wrong doings, beside regret, there’s always something coming your way. a grand gift, a small surprise. today was Whatever. Elliott Smith’s folk song in C from the album New Moon that gets me going Whatever.
whatever!
T…
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what's been bothering me lately,
1. about a job.
i mean in general. i think a job is not always something we love doing, but it might be something we’re good at, or something we have to do. lucky you if it’s also something you love, but it’s not always how it works, is it? i’ve been…
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diantra's 2012 mix : all good things must end
https://www.dropbox.com/s/ua6m2xgcht830o4/DIANTRA%202012%20MIX%20-%20ALL%20GOOD%20THINGS%20MUST%20…
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color blind
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what i think about when i think about thinking
it does get me anywhere. even if i don’t put every single of them in action. you see, thinking’s not about ideas only. it’s thoughts, daydreams, hopes, regrets.
many many of my thinkings are regrets, wishes hold up, and hopes crushed.
people says it’s…
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usia dan kolam yang makin sempit.
katanya, semakin kita bertambah usia, semakin sedikit pula pilihan atas apapun yang bisa kita centang. bagi yang single, mencari pasangan yang seusia, mungkin lebih sulit. bagi yang jobless, mencari pekerjaan yang pantas dengan usia dan tanggung jawab yang membengkak pun mungkin lebih sulit, apalagi dengan kurangnya pengalaman atau pendidikan akademis.
saya simpulkan hidup ini mengerucut. makin lama makin sedikit pilihan hingga tak ada lagi yang tersisa. beruntunglah orang orang yang sedari belia sudah tau apa yang diinginkannya, dan seiring waktu berhasil mendapatkannya. beruntunglah 'sang pengecualian' yang mempunyai banyak kelebihan yang membuat usia yang menua tak menjadi masalah.
saya biasa biasa saja. bukan 'sang pengecualian' dengan banyak advantage yang dimiliki orang lain. saya hanya tau apa yang saya mau, dan mencapainya sedini mungkin. kerucut hidup ini pun tak menjadi masalah bagi saya secara umum. tapi,
saya sering tertampar dengan panggilan 'mbak' atau 'tante' di lingkungan saya yang membuat saya menyadari seiring panggilan itu, saya menua, di sini, di kolam yang sama. saya memulai karir dimana saya memanggil semua orang 'mbak', 'mas', 'om', karena semuanya lebih tua daripada saya. ketika saya memulai, saya lah golongan muda yang mungkin membuat orang orang yang saya panggil dengan panggilan hormat kepada orang yang lebih tua itu mengernyit dan merasa tertampar oleh perbedaan usia. hahaha.
sekarang saya dipanggil 'mbak', 'tante', 'ibu', dan bahkan 'bos'. terganggu sekali, sebenarnya. tapi apa yang salah dengan panggilan itu? padahal, mungkin itu sebuah prestasi. bertahan di lingkungan yang sama, cukup dihormati hingga dipanggil seperti itu.
entahlah. tapi saya benci sekali dipanggil dengan kata ganti orang yang lebih tua. :))
saya ingin saya tetap 24 tahun, dengan pengalaman 29 tahun. egois sekali ya? (salah satu bukti saya masih belum dewasa :P)
bagi kalian yang masih muda, cepatlah menentukan keinginan kalian, dan taklukkan semuanya. agar ketika kalian sudah menua, kolam yang makin sempit tidak menjadi masalah.
xoxo,
diantra.
(tidak pake mbak, tante, ibu, ataupun bos)
Saya tidak ingin bertanya. tapi saya ingin mengatakan: "SEMANGAT !". Semangat untuk HollywoodNobody-nya dan untuk MunchausenTrilemma-nya, Semangat untuk hidupnya, Semangat untuk membesarkan Zara Medina, Dan Semangat untuk apapun yang kakak kejar sekarang. :D Kalo masih dipaksa nanya juga, saya tanya ini deh, "Mau nggak, kakak lebih semangat lagi waktu bangun besok pagi ?"
mau. mau banget. mau meluk kamu juga, siapapun kamu. terimakasih. :')
curhat dini hari.
Hidup yang kamu inginkan, lalu tidak kamu inginkan lagi. Ketika mengingatnya, kamu tertawa lepas. Seperti lepas dari sebuah harapan yang akhirnya kamu sadari tidak pantas untuk diharapkan. Kamu mengingat-ingat lagi, mengapa kamu pernah menginginkannya? Siapa kamu dulu? Seberapa jauh kamu sudah melangkah; dari sosok naif yang menginginkan segala yang tidak diketahuinya, hingga ke sosok dewasa yang mengetahui segala yang tidak diinginkannya?
saya bilang kamu, padahal yang saya maksudkan adalah saya.
my new baby.
been a month since i launched my agency's website here http://www.diantrairawan.com | yes, it's a music agency based in Bandung. for the details, visit the website. :)
sorry for a long pause of posting blabber here in my personal blog. too many to say, too little time to do it.
i quit my job 2 days ago. turns out i am not a corporate bitch after all. so, wish me luck on what i'm doing! :)
MOLECULES : A MIXTAPE BY DIANTRA
i'm too lazy to write the songlist. it's a mixtape that contains songs that disturb my brain molecules.
download it here.
mengapa kesedihan datang di saat yang tak semestinya? mengapa kehilangan datang di saat paling tidak terduga? mereka bilang semua terjadi karena suatu alasan. tapi ketika semua telah terjadi, apakah kamu ingin mendengar alasannya, apapun itu? saya tidak.
nostalgia
been writing lyrics, didn't give too much thought of them words. putting pieces to make an album is like digging your deepest memories. and finally i ended up writing memories. what's so sad about them, i wrote in song called Nostalgia.
a moment that would never return.
i got a little heart attack just writing that sentence. i know that's true, and i almost always write truth in songs.
i keep thinking about how much time i spent doing things i believed were right, with people i thought were right, at the time i didn't know was right, but i did anyways. all of my life, i've been doing such things. ridiculous things. because, sorry for myself, none of them was right. i know now.
but that's not the saddest part. the saddest part was, i feel sad it has ended. in a way i couldn't possibly imagine.
what were the hurts compared with the memories of a lost moment?
i know now. i know what i missed, people i hurt, i know exactly the amount of a broken vows, ended hopes, and emotion based decision i made. i know because that's how much it weighted my shoulder. and my back's not straight anymore. it's too heavy.
people say that you'd never know the truth about someone even if they told you in your face.
i say, read their writings. we may not telling everyone the truth about everything, but we write them. some people get them, some get lost in words.
i'm sad, and when i smile, i'm trying really hard to stay smiling. it's a hard work. but you don't know that,
a life that has ended, disappears once and for all,
like a shadow, light-weighted, transparent,
it was beautiful, sublime, it was horror! terror!
but all that means nothing
everything is illuminated by the aura of nostalgia.
one of my illustration for Danur, a book by Risa Saraswati.
Samantha, a girl who died of cancer, left by her parents in a hospital when her condition got worse. her hair fell off, unable to digest so she puked all the time, her scent was horrible, her skin came off, she lost too much weight.
but she's waiting, still. for her parents to come back.
despite all of her doubts and disappointment.
all my prayers sent to you, Samantha.
eh gile lo ya!
diantra, 2012
forgot who i was
all the time. what was my purposes, goals, and destinations. where were these roads i decided taking lead me to, whom i met, where, when and why. what's this all about. what 'this' is. what was i talking about. who i'm gonna be, or supposed to be, or i am now. i forget things. and i don't know why, since when, and what to do.