I am a server. That’s what I do. I work 40+ hours a week and I make as much, if not more than people my age with a degree. I love my job, I love the people I work with, and I love being able to interact with the public.
It’s no secret that making people laugh is my favorite thing in the world, and I do my best to make the guests at my tables laugh all the time. That’s my thing, and it causes people to request me as a server. I enjoy laughing and joking with guests, and I’ve even become quite close to a few, knowing their drink and food orders. But at what point do business related niceties turn into sexual harassment?
I’ll tell you: when a guest fondles your butt while you’re standing at a table.
I’ve waited on these people at least 5 times before. They usually consist of 2 men and 2 women, whom I assumed to be married couples. Recently, during a Friday night dinner rush, they were seated with a different server. Because I had built a somewhat friendly relationship with them, I had no problem getting them refills and helping out by delivering food to their table. But as I was passing their food out, one of the men slapped me on my ass. It didn’t occur to me what happened until I walked away from the table. I got around the corner and another server asked me what happened. He said I was pale and distraught looking. I told him what had happened, and people immediately turned it into a joke, making cracks about how he must have wanted a “piece of dat ass”. To make matters worse, the man proceeded to harass me for 15 minutes asking for my phone number, even going so far as to come into the kitchen looking for me. He finally stopped when I screamed “NO!!” at the top of my lungs. But the damage was done. I was violated, and I felt like everyone was laughing at ME for what happened.
I sought compassion from people that I loved and trusted, trying to make sense of everything. I was met with “Why are you so upset about this?”, “You’re a waitress, those things will happen.”, “Men will be men.”,and ”He just wanted you to know he likes what he sees.”
NO ONE has the right to touch me without my permission, and no one has the right to violate me in my workspace. The same goes for every person, male or female. I wait on men every day, and NEVER have I had someone touch me in such an inappropriate manner. You are better than that. You deserve more.
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