???

20↑ she/??? Japanese+ASD I'm not evil.But I'm the Darkest.

[diethyletherzero]

Strawpage: https://diethyletherzero.straw.page

diethyletherzero's strawpage

I'll say it again: I'll be very careful about things like TW notation, but please still be careful!

I don't really understand the line between what's considered "gore" or what's not, or maybe my sense of it is just skewed.

...This is the kind of crazy person I am(weird translation AAA)

But if you're still willing to be friends, let's become friends! :D

my au tag: #Numberblocks Cyberpunk AU

[diethyletherzero]

fanfic of fanfic/AU of AU(?????)

concept:Two faced, equilibrium,outer dimensions

[diethyletherzero]

Dark yapping below! (Gif for little happiness)

Sometimes, I dissociate and berate my past self.

Take, for instance, a time when I mustered the courage to speak up, only for things to go wrong.

In those moments, I would condemn my own shamelessness and recklessness.

"Why did you do that when you should have known how it would turn out? You knew *you* were the one who would end up getting hurt. Why can't you get it through your head? You’re incapable of doing anything right. You can’t get along with anyone or hold a conversation. No one could ever love someone as clingy and codependent as you. You should just rot and die all alone."

...But I lack the courage. I am strangely terrified of dying. That moment when I cease to be *me*—the eternal nothingness that arrives the instant consciousness fades. I am simply too afraid to die. And so, I blame myself for my indecisiveness. It is a cycle that will continue endlessly, for as long as I remain alive.

[diethyletherzero]

You won't believe your eyes!

˙puɐʇsɹǝpun ʇ'uoʍ no⅄

[diethyletherzero]

I wonder if i can play Minecraft with NB/LB fandom members :D

[diethyletherzero]

TW:disturbing coutent...

Everything looks upside down.

Has the world turned upside down? Or have I?

gore art below!!! be careful...

I don't know why I decided to draw this. But I think, in a way, I just wanted to be set free.

[diethyletherzero]

I can’ t finish art anymore 😔

[diethyletherzero]

Another oc… or new numbersona?

Help me I’ m too tired and not able to draw even I wanted to…

[diethyletherzero]

???

"something"

pepimetr's ninety art again .w.(no ping this time .w.)

TW:disturbing? art below...

"Pure Darkness."

[diethyletherzero]

I’m so busy so lemme post doodle…

@peepeepik ‘s ninety!(aka The Black mayor)

sry for ping aaaaa

[anxietyproblem]

[diethyletherzero]

Me be like XD

there’s no “love or hate” for me

Mine is “love or not interesting”

[diethyletherzero]

Doodling during a cell histology midterm exam lol

I love multi mecha/wing(?) arm!!!

[diethyletherzero]

…

(TW blood… image related btw .w.)

lazy art waaaaa

[diethyletherzero]

This is me.

why I took 1 week over to draw this crap…

Let’s think about myself because pride month :) (beware for dark? Yapping uhhhh)

I don't really have much interest in sex or gender in general.

Biologically, I have it, but when it gets mixed with human emotions, it gives me a strange feeling. But if it's fictional, it's fine.

The way instinct and reason are mixed together is really...

Honestly, I deeply regret being born biologically female. Clearly weaker. In a weaker position. I lose no matter how hard I try. I'm belittled because I'm a woman. I lost the 50/50 chance at birth.

If I were a machine, would I not need to feel those emotions?

And how should I express myself, having these feelings?

I don't want to be aggressive towards anyone, and gender is fundamentally a matter of freedom.

But am I the only one who feels that this actually restricts our thinking? Am I the only one who feels that this could give rise to a distorted sense of justice? Am I the only one who feels that what is called "justice" could mentally kill people?

swapper's case is a good example. The excessive, distorted sense of justice still lingers in my mind. It's terrifying.

Those who are driven by a distorted sense of justice to kill others are killing machines that have lost their humanity.

I've seen too much of the darkness lurking in the human heart. I...am tainted. That's why I can't trust people.

But even so, there are people who are kind to me. I want to cherish those people.

[diethyletherzero]

cutie lucky!

thank yooou :D

I guess I'm talking too much.

Lately, I've been so afraid to talk to anyone that I feel like I'm just posting things as if I'm throwing words away... Lately, I feel like there's a hole in my emotions...

But I should stop it :/

[diethyletherzero]

I made Strawpage uhhh

Edited with my phone and that was painful AAAAA

diethyletherzero's strawpage

[diethyletherzero]

Humanized Nine and Ninety!?

Q.why I drew monochrome art in pride month

A. Idk I feel it means I don’t have any emotion what(???)