DIRK AND LAW ENFORCEMENT HAVE NEVER PLAYED NICELY. ever. law enforcement have never been big fans of his work and dirk never found much interest in listening to them. they hinder his work; they tell him he can’t do this or that because of this rule & that rule, but dirk goes against them anyway and he always, ALWAYS, ends up solving the case before they even get a chance to acquire the right paperwork to conduct any solid investigations ———— & THEY HATE HIM FOR IT.
think of this way: a less than qualified ‘ detective ’ turns up to the crime scene of every case with no leads, no explanation or believable alibi as to how he even ended up there in the first place that doesn’t include anything detailing fate and his ‘ holistic - ness. ’ in fact, he doesn’t seem to know anything. he can’t provide any credentials and nobody can make an inch of sense out of his deductions but he manages to solve every. single. case in a handful of days. you take him in for questioning and he makes even less sense than before —— if that’s even possible —— and you get permission from higher ups to detain this strange man who calls himself a detective for another twenty four hours while you look into his background. you’re a few hours into this now, and you can’t find anything. the slate has been wiped clean. it’s like he doesn’t exist. you can find his name in phone books and you’ve managed to find an old website that looks like it was updated about five years ago by a toddler. the contact details are all the same: DIRK GENTLY’S HOLISTIC DETECTIVE AGENCY, WE SOLVE THE WHOLE CRIME & FIND THE WHOLE PERSON, but before you can interrogate this ‘ dirk gently ’ further, you get a phone call. it’s the central intelligence agency and they demand the immediate release of their ‘ client ’ or legal action will be required; and it will not work in your favour. you watch him leave, you wonder how he can be so optimistic after being held in a cell for forty eight hours with a solemn expression considering he has just been accused of god knows what. something tells you that it hasn’t been the first time, and it won’t be the last.
this has happened so frequently now that you forgot when you first started becoming suspicious of his work and when you began feeling anger. you haven’t had solved a case in months / IT’S ALWAYS HIM, and you don’t know why it angers you but it does. it angers all of you, your entire team, the entire department and police forces around the globe. this ‘ dirk ’ kid doesn’t listen, he fiddles with evidence, he talks too much, he does everything a normal detective shouldn’t.
then he lets slip that he’s psychic before hastily taking it back. you laugh at him, you ask him how the hell did he manage to get a job like this because the amount he doesn’t know and understand is stupefying. you shake your head, you drop the topic, you realise then that he’s just as shady as you believed when you first met him.
your co - worker later finds out that this ‘ agency ’ is far from legal, that means you can take it down by force if you wanted but you refrain from doing so. you’ve decided to be the mature officer at the end of the day. you still squint when his name is mentioned but you forgive & forget everything else.
———– TO BAD NOBODY ELSE DID.
law enforcement, and i mean proper law enforcement, aren’t scared of getting physical with dirk should they clash heads. they’re under the belief that he ruins everything, that he must have some sort of sinister connection to these crimes otherwise how else is he solving them so quickly ? threats are something that dirk is now used to; they’re something he expects once he passes the crime scene tape and thus, they don’t really come as a surprise anymore. he would rather not get hurt but there’s no way he can convince them otherwise that he has more good intentions than bad, that he just wants to help, so he sits back & deals with it, he only talks back to defend himself if he feels like he needs to and he almost always comes out of it with a bloody nose. on a good day, however, he’s forced to listen to snide comments about how he operates among other things and he’d take that over the former circumstance any day.
outside of officers such as tina tevetino & sherlock hobbs, it’s rare for dirk to get along with them but he tries, he finds it’s better to work in a team —–- you cover more ground that way, assuming it’s not a case intended for one individual but other than that ? he’s seen as a threat to the system, a bug in their code ( ironic, considering he’s described as the debug function of the universe ) ——- they do not like him ! they never have, and never will.
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