ERUPTING PAROXYSM

[indefinal]

starsystm·:

                     ❛ OH STARLIGHT ! don’t claw toward it – let it come to you .  ❜            maybe it is a testament to her growth , the constellation shinning in her blue hair . the queen reaches out for his hand , and takes them in her own . she takes the pen secondly . she has always taken care of him , kept him from the true edges of his madness . she supposes these are the great greek philosophers reflected in her eyes . they who looked upon her father and saw eternity and had died therefore for the crimes against all living things . or maybe she was simply a girl , and the love she held for him . the pen issue is easily replaceable , she had anticipated that ; the stains on his fingers rub away from pale flesh with soft brown fingers . 

                      ❛  science is an ever changing thing , my love . you are frustrating yourself , it’s a fools errant to overwork your brain so.  ❜          her laugh is the echo of many solar events , the cosmic reflection of twilight . she pulls him away from his papers with strength that she has an abundance of . she had been home for more than a little while , she knew that there was no food within , she can tell he ate only out of necessity to fill his brain with the necessary energy to strive forward toward technological genius          ❛ i believe the saying is , rome was not built in a day , and you won’t save your race in a day . for not –  you need to eat ; your iron is low , and so is your blood sugar .  ❜

        clawing   towards   the   answers   is   all   he   has   ever   done  ;      it   is   the   life   that   he   has   built   for   himself .     a   life   that   is   more   of   a   construct  -----   a   building   with   walls   and   corridors   and   rooms   ------    more   than   it   is   a   living .      HIS   FINGERS   RELAX   WHEN   SHE   TAKES   THE   PEN   FROM   HIM .     for   the   length   of   his   work   his   fingers   had   reddened   from   the   pressure   of   tip   upon   paper .     THEY   HURT  ,    BUT   HE   IGNORES   IT .     though   he   cannot   help   but   notice   the   way   that   she   rubs   his   digits   soothes   that   pain .     he   takes   a   breath .     a   quick   thing  ,     before   his   eyes   lift   to   meet   hers .     there’s   a   lack   of   a   spark   in   those   electric   blue   irises .

          `     you’re   right  ,      `      he   speaks  ,     though   there   is   some   amount   of   frustration   in   his   admittance .     THIS   REMINDER   OF   HIS   HUMANITY  ,     the   necessity   and   the   need   to   take   care   of   ones’   body  ,      was   something   he   found   so   completely   abhorrent .     of   all   the   things   he   might   say   or   do  ,      of   everything   that   he   might   claim  ,     IT   WAS   ONE   THING   HE   WOULD   EVER   EXPRESS   IRRITATION   WITH .        `      unfortunately !       it’s   a   pain  ,    ------ - not   efficient .     `

[indefinal]

starsystm·:

WAS THIS WHAT DESTINY TASTED LIKE , FALLEN DREAMS CRUSHED AN SEEPED INTO SUCH A DEPRESSING BITTER TEA         /        it does not take a genius to know that alistair has not noticed her absence , and ixora is twice the genius that his people could ever hope to see . some part discontented , but this dissatisfaction does not last long  ; opting to trail fingers across the breadth of  his shoulders . thin fingers reaching past his jaw , tapping the subject matter that he works so tireless at . she settles on a whisper – almost loving if it were not the slightest hint of passive aggression that laces these words . when had she become so unmanageable , when had her feelings felt like they were about to boil over  ?   control was sought out , and it would need to be regained .

❛ this concept is completely wrong , going that route would result in a collapse if you continue on that line of thinking . eventually it gets so big and then falls in on itself – useless and only results in some illusion of progress . ❜

‧͙ ⁺ ˚ * ･ ༓ ☾  STARTER CALL    /     @indefinal  ☽ ༓ ･ * ˚ ⁺ ‧͙  

          there’s   something   tiresome   in   his   movements ;      what   was   usually   filled   with   exuberance   and   energy   now   more   resigned .      THERE’S   HEAVINESS   IN   HIS   MUSCLES .       something   that   holds   him   down .      it’s   exhaustion  ,     but   he   refuses   to   rest .      not   until   he’s   finished  ,     he   won’t   allow   his   nature   to   prevent   this   progress .       BUT   IT’S   LIKE   A   RABBIT   HOLE  -------   you   simply   fall  ,      get   lost   in   the   maze .     all   the   tunnels   and   turns   and   in   the   darkness   there’s   no   returning .       the   feeling   of   fingers   on   his   shoulders   almost   makes   him   jump  ,     ALMOST   STARTLES   HIM .     but   the   gentleness   of   the   touch  ,    in   alignment   with   his   self - control  ,     soothes   the   shock   before   it   even   hits .        she   speaks   and   he   listens .      which   is   still   the   most   he   has   ever   offered   anyone  ,       some   acknowledgement   that   only   she   has   ever   received .     he   wouldn’t   even   listen   to   his   own   parents .     but   she   has   wisdom   that   they   do   not .     STILL  ,     SHE   TELLS   HIM   WHAT   HE   ALREADY   KNOWS .     his   processes  ,    as   the   night   drags   on  ,      only   becomes   more   and   more   chaotic .

                there’s   some   disconnect  ,     here  ,       too   focused .     so   focused   that   even   the   simplest   of   things   begin   to   slip .      MENTAL   TIES   BEGINNING   TO   SEVER   AND   FRAY .      he   is   frayed .      perhaps   he   is   going   further   backwards   now   than   he   is   forward  ,     but   there   is   determination   here .       his   hands   are   stained   by   blotches   of   ink  ,      and   his   pen   is   running   dry .      there’s   paper   discarded   around   his   feet   and   a   black   mark   above   his   brow   from   where   he   has   rubbed   his   forehead .               `       i   know .      there’s   something  missing   and  -----------       it’s   !     -------------    it’s   staring   me   in   the   face .       I   KNOW   IT   IS .       i   just   can’t  ...      find   it .       `       his   pen   presses   against   the   paper   as   he   talks  ,       working   a   small   dent   into   the   sheet .

[indefinal]

IXORA W. QUEENS     ❝       A   LONG   LONG   WAY   FROM   HOME .

                      ❛ YOU ARE A WEIRD ONE , BUT I BELIEVE THAT I WILL LIKE THAT ABOUT YOU. ❜       she hums , a moment more before glancing down at the wound in her side.  pleased with the way that her skin has begun the heal over the affection aggressively until it is completely healed over with a path of new skin . she briefly touches it , hissing so under her breath ; but when she presses it , she knows there is no true damage to her carapace underneath the flesh . she is grateful , FOR SHE IS SOMETHING SO UNEARTHLY – IT WOULD BE SURE DEATH TO REVEAL ALL OF SHE. 

                      her hair is the night sky reflected along dancing sea-foam , as she turns her head this way and that ; taking ever inch of detail , from the dust to the way that there are papers all about . she can tell then , that he is something so much more than what she assumed .  men of science , they understand her more than their lesser counterparts , but so woefully inferior in terms of smarts ; meteors and comets dance between her curls and in the darkness of her eyes , as she takes in scribbled equation and fact , easily solving any lingering missing link with only a blink of her eye but not divulging that knowledge .SHE KNOWS TO DISTRUST , KNOWS THAT HE COULD CUT HER DOWN THE MIDDLE IF HE WANTED . children have died just for being what she was or even less than half , vivisected in labs for the advancement of primal human science. so she does not trust , but she will give him some insight – for he has saved her and offered her shelter and if he wants to lean she will TEACH him beyond all his available knowledge.       ❛ in return for helping me , i will help you with what you seem to be working on. i will teach you some new things , and if you wish it – you may pass it along to your people.❜

                        she turns over delicate wrist , pressing along delicate bones there until there is a audible click. somewhere , miles away in deep forest  , her ship ejects material pod toward her location ; then it dissolves into the mist and leaves , so eerily cloaked it was almost as if it wasn’t there. in her minds eye , hud of internal tech records data , translates information , and even then tells her that what she wished for will land within range of this territory soon. she moves on then , COLLECTING data that she swallows easy ; form the wood work , to the rise and fall of his chest and all that makes up of him. calculating , analyzing , and digesting all knowledge and probability.        ❛ all of this , your notes – seems almost like archaic knowledge ; i’m sure by now , humans have reached a higher potential ; functioning robotics , space flight , and higher functional tech. but even then it seems as though you still are light years behind my people. ❜

                      she smiles,  so suddenly ; every star in her mouth alight with the force of her brightness . cheerful as gently strips further out of the top half of her bio suit.  KNOWLEDGE FROM RESEARCH SHOWS : showing skin is the best way to dispel fears , with the smoothness and beauty of her vitiligo stained skin – he would be more at ease with her if she were to show him anything similar. hands push herself upright , on her feet even after such a short recovery period ; hands tying excess material at the waist , the intergalactic alliance signal on her sports bar reflecting gold in the light along her almost flat chest. HER BODY READS OF MATURITY , STREAMLINED BUT MATERNAL IN THE SET OF HER HIPS. 

                       ❛ are you a doctor , of some sort ? there’s a smell under your nails that reminds me of something like that. beyond that – there is ink , but i figure that is from your written work. ❜       she blinks, lips easily forming words that she had moments before been so hesitant with. almost a odd copy of his own speech patterns.        ❛ oh ! i believe i did not ask ; but would it be possible for me to stay here . only until my ship is fixed and it is safe for me to return to my homeworld. ❜

                      she flinches ; there is no homeworld to return to.

       a    weird   one   --------------------------       eccentricity   &   strangeness   are   near   a   defining   trait   for   him   when   regarded   by   those   whom   consider   themselves   ordinary .       the   normal  ,       those   who   focus   entirely   on   unfocused   notions  ;        who   allow   the   world   to   pass   by   in   a   blur  ,       never   properly   stopping   to   study   or   understand   anything   about   the   dirt   they   put   their   feet   upon .        MOST   PEOPLE   WHO   LOOK   UPON   HIM   DO   SO   WITH   A   FROWN  ,        simply   write   him   off   as   too   deranged   to   see   clearly .        SHE   SEEMS   TO   SEE   SOMETHING  DIFFERENT   IN   HIM .       something   worth   the   respect  ,       though   he   wonders   briefly   if   it   may   be   due   to   the   helping   hand   that   he   had   offered   her .       the   human   race   would   likely   have   folded   for   such   intrinsic   values  ,      to   show   kindness   to   one   who   has   helped   them .      for   the   purpose   of   vulnerability  ,       to   protect   themselves   where   they   feel   as   though   their   life   is   in   the   hands   of   another .       BUT   SHE   IS   NOT   HUMAN  ,       AND   THUS   THERE   IS   NO   WAY   TO   TELL .         though   he   doesn’t   doubt   her   species   has   survival   instincts   of   their   own .

             ❝       the   archaic   is   the   foundation    of   any   and   all   science  ,        no   matter   how   advanced   it   is .      the   most   advanced   form   of   science   is   to   bend   the  very   fabric   of   space   and   time  ,       yet   such   an   act   requires   unbreakable   knowledge   on   the   most   basic   of    physical   principles .      some   of   the   most   far   beyond   cultures   within   the   boundaries   of   our   race    were   such   because   they   knew   how   to   do   just   that  ,      to   the   point   where   present   scientists   and   historians   were   lead   to   try   and   uncover   their   techniques .      archaic   is   not   always   simple  ,       and   the   existence   of   limits   is   what   leads   people   to   overcome   them .          ❞         he   announces  ,       as   he   glances   to   her   for   a   few   seconds .      only   to   acknowledge   what   he   believes   is   no   more   than   a   mere   disguise  ,     unless   by   the   rarest   of   coincidences    (  which   he   knows   full   well   that   the   universe   is   the   product   of  )     her   species   had   a   similar   evolutionary   chain   to   humanity .

            ❝       i    am   a   doctor  ,       but   my   focus   is   not   biological .      i’m   a   physicist   and   engineer      .      .      .      and   various   other   things  !       but   the   list   is   extensive .       ❞        that   is   when   curiosity   seems   to   diminish  ,       AT   LEAST   FOR   THE   MOMENT .       where   he   turns   back   to   his   work  ,       previously   discarded  ,        and   begins   to   pack   it   away .       volatile   chemicals  ,       cables   and   wiring  ,       separated   if   only   as   an   afterthought   upon   past   mistakes .      THOUGHTS   TO   THE   VERY   FIRE   THAT   HAD   BROUGHT   HIM   HERE .       but   he   is   still    listening  ,        enough   to   hear   her   request ,      though   not   enough   to   answer   her   immediately .       he   takes   a   breath   first   as   he   begins   to   wrap   a   cord   in   circles   around   his   wrist   and   hand  ;       not   tight  ,     but   just   to   organise .

               ❝       stay  ,      if   you   like .       it   doesn’t   bother   me .       ❞

[indefinal]

PROJECT AEOLUS .       ❝       A   BATTERING   RAGE   OF   A   BEATING   STORM .

          there’s nothing out there that mattered to him   ?   it seemed strange to her,   why would you rather be locked up in a cell   ?   the concept of that,   she detested,   if she had the opportunity she knew that she would leave as fast as she could.   where she didn’t have anywhere to go,   sure,   but the concept of freedom was appealing.   the concept of being able to choose whether you did something;   rather than being forced to do it by silent men.   she had never asked anyone to be made a weapon of war;   but that is the life that had been decidedly laid out for her.   and she couldn’t help but feel something bitter in her veins in the idea that he was quite so detached to the world   -   to the extent that he would help this facility.

before directly answering his question,   she thought for a second.   she didn’t recognize some of those words,   couldn’t even try to grasp the meaning.   and she didn’t know how much to ask for before he might tire of the conversation.   after all,   she didn’t know much about anything outside.   “   i’ve been here since i was five years old…   “   she stated,   her brows creased.   “   as you surely guess i don’t know much about the outside.   they never really told me anything;   it isn’t need to know until i need to know.   i wouldn’t know what questions i want answered first.   “

            detachment   seemed   to   be   a   part   of   him  ,     as   much   as   love   or   hate   were   a   part   of   anyone   else .       he   saw   the   world   in   numbers  ,      in   what   could   be   applied   or   wasted .      the   earth   was   VALUABLE  ,      a   resource   that   could   not   be   discarded  ,     `&   to   care   for   it   was   a   priority .        𝐁𝐔𝐓   𝐒𝐎𝐎𝐍  ,      𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇   𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓   𝐓𝐄𝐂𝐇𝐍𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐘   𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘   𝐖𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃   𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐄   𝐈𝐓 .       he   would   not   miss   it .      her   curiosity  ,     at   least  ,      was   commendable   ---------------------------------           not   enough   people   asked   questions   in   this   age .         ❝       then   in   that   case  ,      there’s   nothing   to   say .      you’d   be   better   off   asking   someone   with   a   significant   grasp   on   the   concept   of   beauty .      ❞

                ❝       to   me  ,     the   world   is   nothing   more   than   a   random   series   of   causes   to   effects .        𝐈𝐓'𝐒   𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐊𝐘   𝐖𝐄'𝐑𝐄   𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄   𝐀𝐓   𝐀𝐋𝐋 .     but   it   won’t   last  ,     eventually   the   world   will   be   uninhabitable    --------------------     by   our   own   hand  ,      ooooor    by   something   out   of   our   control .      whatever   the   case  ,      preparation   is   the   key   to   surviving   that .      𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐄   𝐍𝐄𝐄𝐃𝐒   𝐓𝐎   𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄   𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐀𝐑𝐘   𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐏𝐒   𝐓𝐎   𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐄   𝐖𝐄'𝐑𝐄   𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐘 .     ❞         what   more  ,        this   entire   facility   was   a   waste   of   time .      there   were   benefits  ,     of   course  ,     to   assist   him   in   furthering   his   knowledge .     but   when   the   mind   is   focused   on   something   that   is   not   guaranteed   to   last   more   than   a   lifetime  ?      that   is   pointless .

[indefinal]

anyways i love alistair caligari

[indefinal]

         THIS   IS   A   PERMANENT   STARTER   CALL  ;         what   this   means   is   if   you   like   this   post  ,     it   gives   me   permission   to   write   you   starters   and / or   approach   you   for   plotting   whenever   i   choose      (   and   simultaneously   gives   you   permission   to   do   the   same .    )     THIS    IS   MUTUALS   ONLY  ,     if   i’m   not   following   you   please   do   not   like   this   post .

             please   make   sure   you   have   read   my   rules   and   the   basic   general   information   on   my   about   page   before   liking   this   post .

[indefinal]

IXORA W. QUEENS     ❝       A   LONG   LONG   WAY   FROM   HOME .

                       ❛ I SUPPOSE YOUR ARE RIGHT. but i find it utterly rude not to introduce myself. then i suppose we have always been far SUPERIOR to you kind. ❜      no true insult meant with the words, just simple words that she probably won’t remember saying a moment later. her people, her planet, and her culture having been around long before the rains turned earth from LAVA to a water goddess with it’s blessed tears. her fingers occupied,  tearing into package with teeth and rubbing powder along her wound. no sound passes through teeth, but a physical smell of decay bubbles as her body rejects the infectant and the skin around it, rapidly healing and twisting in on itself. 

                         body seems to rest then, letting natural reconstruction take place. when her eyes find the pale visage before her, SHE SEES ELECTRICITY. it is doubtful that he can know what she is truly down to the core , but she knows to be wary. he smells of the harsh chemical and disaster that comes with her very own profession. briefly recalling images of CHILDREN, stripped open to their very core so these evolved mammals could see how their half human half extraterrestrial genetics worked. BEFORE bile would have stung the back of her throat, now she only swallows and PERSEVERES. 

                         ❛ alistair ?❜       the name rolls foreign on sharp tongue, wide eyes narrowed in concentration.      ❛ i will remember it, YOU HAVE HELPED ME – therefore i will repay in effort. allow me to ask a question though, is it normal – has your kind come to accept these occurrences. ❜

                        she gestures to herself, blood plastered and previously in some for of distress. but now she is cool – as though conducting an interview. calculating, but forever talking; a slight SMILE on those full lips. she won’t venture to be quiet, not now. her brother searches, screaming in the back of her mind. her mother’s heartbeat is silent where it used to be resilient; so ixora is alone, in peril. but she does not dare show WEAKNESS or distress. a queen in stature, her smile and voice a courtesy. as long as she is not silent her brothers won’t find her hum ; as long as she is not silent, and alistair invites her to stay… she will NOT be found until she is ready to be found. and may the matriarchs have mercy on their immortal souls, because her anger burns bright – she feels it settling for a long life in her broken hear.      ❛ you seem rather intrigued if not surprised. eager to have a conversation with me, though i am painfully abnormal. ❜

      𝐒𝐔𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐎𝐑   𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐄𝐃  ,      in   perhaps   more   ways   than   one .       but   it   has   forever   been   his   goal   to   push   forward  ,     to   drive   the   human   race   towards   awareness   `&   advancement .       𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘   𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓   𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐍 .       his   mind   is   too   much  ,     his   thoughts   are   too   different  ,     they   aren’t   ready   for   a   visionary .       their   dreams   lie   beneath   the   mirage   of   nature .     his   noise   is   of   a   different   kind  ,      bells   ringing   of   disaster   or   the   distant   rumble   of   thunder .       𝐑𝐔𝐃𝐄   𝐈𝐓   𝐈𝐒   𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘   𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍   𝐒𝐎𝐂𝐈𝐄𝐓𝐘   𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐋𝐎𝐏𝐒   𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓   𝐅𝐎𝐑   𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 .

       he   breathes  ,     smells   the   rot  ,      `&   then   stops .      𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄  ,     𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄  ,     𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄 .      if   he   doesn’t   look  ,    holds   his   breath  ,     lets   his   gaze   fixate   on   a   distant   object   he   can   avoid   the   sensation   of   sickness   in   his   stomach .      he   won’t   conform   to   the   fear  ,     𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐍𝐄𝐄𝐃   𝐓𝐎   𝐑𝐔𝐍   𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌   𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘   𝐎𝐅   𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐇 .      yet  ,    never   tell   him   that   such   avoidance   is   fear   itself  ,      when   he   turns   away   to   close   the   cabinet   door   with   his   foot   or   reaches   to   return   to   his   work .       hiding   from   the   blood   `&   the   bruising   where   he   can .       𝐄𝐂𝐋𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐂   𝐌𝐀𝐍   𝐖𝐇𝐎   𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒   𝐓𝐎   𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐑  !!

           they   are   both   abnormal  ,    perhaps .        she  ,      a   foreigner   of   another   world  ,      wandering   where   perhaps   she   should   not .    he  ,     a   foreigner   to   his   own   species .     neither   likely   to   be   accepted   by   a   race   not   of   their   own .      𝐇𝐄   𝐈𝐒   𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄   𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍   𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌 .       when   he   speaks   it   is   not   directly   to   her  ;      he   is   rude  ,     always   will   be  --------------------------      easier   to   believe   that   than   it   is   to   understand   what   he   cannot   witness .       𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆   𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄   𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐒   𝐎𝐅   𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐊        ❝       no  ,      the   human   race   is   still   fearful   of   what   they   cannot   comprehend   `&   likely   always   shall   be .      𝐖𝐇𝐘   𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄   𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓'𝐒   𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊𝐄𝐃   𝐅𝐎𝐑   𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 ?        i’m   just   different .       see  ,     i   am   intrigued  ;     wherever   there   is   an   opportunity   to   learn   ignoring   such   would   be   a   waste .       ❞ 

[indefinal]

AMBER SWEET .      ❝       A   QUEST   FOR   SILENCE .

             Arms fold over her chest—the idea of a lifewithout wanting or needing entertainment seems foreign to Amber, who drainsevery vice for all they’re worth. Thus,she simply furrows her eyebrows, clicks her tongue, “christ, you’re theweirdest guy I’ve ever met—and that’s saying a whole fucking lot.

               what do I have to do to convince you to go out withme and actually live your life??”

             ❝       a   lot   of   people   tell   me   that .      ❞      he   admits  ,      easily   `&   simply .      what   is   he  :       𝐀𝐁𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘  ,     𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐃𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄   𝐎𝐅   𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐘 .       ethereal   if   not   for   his   firm   rooting   `pon   the   surface   of   the   earth .

                       ❝       i’ll   go   with   you  ,       𝐈𝐅   𝐘𝐎𝐔'𝐑𝐄   𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓   𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐄   𝐅𝐎𝐑   𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐀𝐍𝐘 .       you   don’t   have   to   convince   me  ,      just   ask .      ❞

[indefinal]

just bc i feel like it and so every1 knows i love tammy @dikgoontle / @jazzzly / @psykiatry with my whole heart and would literally die for her so if any1 ever fucks w/ her i will literally end u (◠﹏◠✿) but also yes she’s an angel and deserves the world k thanks

[indefinal]

AMBER SWEET .      ❝       A   QUEST   FOR   SILENCE .

                 “christ, don’t you even like getting drunk? sex? you’re like a fucking robot !” eyes roll upon hearing his comment—she’s not backing down so easily, and he should know it. Amber Sweet isn’t used to not getting her way, “what do you even do in your free time??”

            ❝       i   don’t   have   free   time  ,     i   spend   it   working .      ❞       all   kinds   of   adrenaline   hunting  ,      entertainment   searching  ,      `&   𝐇𝐄   𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑   𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐄   𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐑𝐄𝐃   𝐄𝐈𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 .

        ❝       it’s   not   that   i   don’t   like   it  ,     i   simply   don’t   need   it  ,     nor   want   it .      ❞   

[indefinal]

AMBER SWEET .      ❝       A   QUEST   FOR   SILENCE .

            “let me just take you clubbing—seriously,what do you even do for fun? and no,being a jackass doesn’t count.”

@indefinal // LIKED !

             ❝       i   don’t .        ‘ fun ‘   isn’t   something   i   search   for .      ❞       𝐇𝐄   𝐇𝐀𝐃   𝐍𝐎   𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐑𝐄  ,     𝐍𝐎   𝐍𝐄𝐄𝐃   𝐅𝐎𝐑   𝐈𝐓 .        man   without   a   heart  ,     without   a   soul .       fuelled   only   by   electric   shots   within   his   brain .     he   glanced   at   her  ,     once   `&   once   only .

                 ❝       i   won’t   be   entertaining   company   at   all .      ❞

[rarerpmemes]

❝ frankenstein ❞   by mary shelley;  starter sentences.

❝  nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change.  ❞ ❝  beware; for i am fearless, and therefore powerful.  ❞ ❝  life, although it may only be an accumulation of anguish, is dear to me, and i will defend it.  ❞ ❝  if i cannot inspire love, i will cause fear!  ❞ ❝  there is something at work in my soul, which i do not understand.  ❞ ❝  satan has his companions, fellow-devils, to admire and encourage him; but i am solitary and detested.  ❞ ❝  when falsehood can look so like the truth, who can assure themselves of certain happiness?  ❞ ❝  how mutable are our feelings, and how strange is that clinging love we have of life even in the excess of misery!  ❞ ❝  if our impulses were confined to hunger, thirst, and desire, we might be nearly free; but now we are moved by every wind that blows and a chance word or scene that that word may convey to us.  ❞ ❝  thus strangely are our souls constructed, and by slight ligaments are we bound to prosperity and ruin.  ❞ ❝  i was benevolent and good; misery made me a fiend. make me happy, and i shall again be virtuous.  ❞ ❝  the world was to me a secret which i desired to devine.  ❞ ❝  i am alone and miserable. only someone as ugly as i am could love me.  ❞ ❝  it is true, we shall be monsters, cut off from all the world; but on that account we shall be more attached to one another.  ❞ ❝  if i see but one smile on your lips when we meet, occasioned by this or any other exertion of mine, i shall need no other happiness.  ❞

[indefinal]

CURTIS FORD          ❝         MAN   OF   THE   MIND  ,     MAN   OF   THE   SOUL .

A SINGLE HUM ESCAPES HIM,   a slight breath that could be passed as one of amusement.   somehow,   they always ended up here   ——   running around in circles like headless chickens because alistair was o’ so hellbent on being understood by nobody,   no matter how experienced.   yet,   this was part of the job description;   though curtis may not understand at first glance,   he was learning and one thing was for certain:   his patient,   although a rightful genius,   was one big hypocrite.

❝   ———    what do you think a psychiatrist does,   alistair ?   ❞   if it were possible,   curtis thinks he might as well be blind with the amount of internal eye rolling he’s done since he has been assigned to the scientist in question.   fingers tap at the edge of the clipboard and he looks up with a quirked brow;   he was asking a serious question.   ❝   i’m not here to understand the way you think,   i’m here to understand why.   the former is   …   ❞   self explanatory ?   ❝   we covered that a few sessions ago,   don’t you remember ?   ❞   do you remember trying to find who you were and losing yourself in the process ?   ❝   do you have any more questions ?   ❞

           his   point   was   lost  ,      somewhere   between   the   flow   of   words  ,       𝐇𝐄   𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖𝐒   𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓   𝐀   𝐏𝐒𝐘𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐀𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓   𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒  ,      the   question   was   what   could   a   psychiatrist   do .       if   he   were   like   others  ,     merely   a   slave   to   his   own   instinct  ,      then   perhaps   it   would   work .       𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐒   𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐄𝐅𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓   𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓   𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑   𝐖𝐀𝐒   𝐏𝐔𝐓𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆   𝐈𝐍   𝐖𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃   𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄   𝐀   𝐃𝐈𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 .            ❝         i   am   not   what   i   am  ,      but   i   am   what   i   think .        i   think   the   way   that   i   do   because   it   is   what   allows   me   to   be   me   `&   not   what   nature   would   have   me   become .       𝐘𝐎𝐔   𝐂𝐀𝐍'𝐓   𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄   𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓  !!        you   cannot   help   someone   by   changing   them   into   what   they   are   not  ,     all   you’re   doing   then   is   making   someone   new .      𝐒𝐎   𝐘𝐎𝐔   𝐂𝐀𝐍'𝐓   𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐏   𝐌𝐄   --------------------------        that   is   what   psychiatrists   are   supposed   to   do  ,     isn’t   it  ?      ❞

           silence   then   befell   him  ,      as   though   his   point   now   reiterated   had   been   clearly   made .       but   perhaps   that   was   hoping   for   too   much .        help   was   something   he   neither   wanted   nor   needed  ,      he   knew   what   had   to   be   done .        𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒   𝐖𝐀𝐒   𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍   𝐎𝐅   𝐒𝐔𝐂𝐂𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐍 .        ❝         i   don’t   have   any   questions  ,      but   i’m   sure   you   have   hundreds .      ❞

[indefinal]

                another   day  ,      𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐓   𝐏𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆   𝐎𝐅   𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 .          it   moved   slowly  ,     but   filled   by   the   insistence   of   thought .          there   was   a   purpose   to   it  ,     not   as   though   his   considerations   were   stray   `&   meaningless .          𝐁𝐔𝐓   𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘   𝐃𝐀𝐘   𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄   𝐖𝐀𝐒   𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐔𝐏𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 .        there  ,    again   the   psychiatrist   stood   as   though   he   had   the   experience   of   the   world   beneath   his   belt .          alistair   sat   cross - legged   on   the   corner   of   his   bed  ,     between   two   walls   `&   slouched .         𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒   𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄   𝐇𝐄   𝐖𝐀𝐒   𝐓𝐇𝐄   𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓   𝐓𝐎   𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐊 .

             ❝       how   long   will   it   take   you   to   learn   that   you   can   understand   me  ,     but   that   you   can   never   understand   the   way   i   𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐊 ?      ❞         @psykiatry

[indefinal]

im ugly today so im reuploading these from december thanks

[indefinal]

MUSE AS A DEITY.

rules : think carefully about your character and their development through their journey ( canon or oc ) within their story .  fill out the chart and tag whoever you want !    repost , do not reblog . 

tagged by :   @astroshe

deity of :  knowledge, discovery, & progress associated with :  the search of knowledge, the mind, mental growth, ambition & determination, awareness of the self, enlightenment sacred plants : the dried white rose (associated with end of innocence), pitch pine blossom (associated with philosophy), bay laural (associated with ambition and success), the scarlet lily (associated with aspiration) sacred stones / gems :   amethyst (calming of the emotions, clarity of thought), blue topaz (higher thinking), diamond (amplification of thought), sacred animals :    the raven (introspection, self-knowledge), the weasel (quick wit, forethought, mental acuity, observation) colors :   pale blue, electric purple, grey, food :   generally not associated with any foods scents :   parchment, metallic scents and electricity. accepted offerings / ways to honor : offers only of knowledge and intelligence. honoured with clarity, enlightenment and thought.

tagging : @dikgoontle / @jazzzly, @reportess, @godscourt, @vukaxins, @holiestwars, @syntheticbodied

[carpenterbruts]

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