bald kyo

quotes that dir en grey definitely would say. i love those 5 idiots.

[diru-incorrectquotes]

Shinya: Hey, wanna help me commit arson?

Toshiya: What the hell!?

Shinya: Oh, sorry, my bad.

Shinya, whispering: Wanna help me commit arson?

Toshiya, whispering: Of course. What do you need?

[diru-incorrectquotes]

Toshiya: Wasn't icarly that guy that girlbossed too close to the sun because he was down for Apollo? 
Shinya: ICARUS?

[diru-incorrectquotes]

Toshiya: Here's some advice
Die: I didn't ask for any
Toshiya: Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me

[diru-incorrectquotes]

Kaoru: Die has discovered "deez nuts" jokes and it's all they say now. Everything is deez nuts. They simply can't stop.

Kaoru: I asked Die where they learned that joke. They made me promise they wouldn't get in trouble if they told me. I agreed.

Kaoru: So they lean in and whisper, "deez nuts."

[diru-incorrectquotes]

Die: Hey Kaoru?

Kaoru: Yeah?

Die: What's your favorite color of the alphabet? True or false?

Kaoru:

Kaoru: ...What.

[diru-incorrectquotes]

Kyo: Schrödinger’s cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that’s both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day

[meisyodemeisyu]

Usually I don't upload my die fanarts on tumblr, but now, why not?

[diru-incorrectquotes]

Store Worker: Would a Ms. Kaoru please come to the front desk?
Kaoru, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?
Store Worker: points to Toshiya and Die
Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?
Toshiya and Die, simultaneously: We got lost :(
Kaoru: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

[diru-incorrectquotes]

*The squad is having dinner together*
Die: Toshiya, can you pass the salt?
Toshiya: *Throws Kyo across the table*

[diru-incorrectquotes]

Shinya: Toshiya's refusing to wear his glasses!

Toshiya: Shinya, look, I wore the glasses for a day. My eyes are much better now. Watch.

Toshiya: *points to Kaoru* Kaoru.

Toshiya: *points to Die* Die.

Toshiya: *points to Kyo* Sasquatch.

[diru-incorrectquotes]

Shinya: Who the fuck broke the toaster?

Kyo: It was Toshiya.

Kaoru: It was Toshiya.

Die: Toshiya broke it.

Toshiya:

Toshiya: ...yOU PROMISED-

[diru-incorrectquotes]

Kyo: Good morning.

Kaoru: Good morning.

Shinya: Good morning.

Toshiya: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.

Die: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS!

[diru-incorrectquotes]

Die: If Toshiya and I were drowning, who would you save?
Kyo: You two can’t swim?
Toshiya: It’s a hypothetical question, Kyo! who would you save?
Kyo: my time and effort.

[diru-incorrectquotes]

Toshiya: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon? 
Shinya : I'm a knife. 
Die, from across the room: He’s the little spoon.

[diru-incorrectquotes]

Toshiya: I can’t believe all these people are wearing black. black is supposed to be my thing, they’re all just posers. 
Shinya : Toshiya, for the last time, we’re at a funeral.

[diru-incorrectquotes]

Shinya: We can’t tell you because you’re not a member of the club.

Kyo: What club?

Die: The hating Kyo club.

Kyo: …The fuck? I should be the leader of that club!

[diru-incorrectquotes]

Kaoru: Why does everyone want to kill Toshiya? 
Shinya: Because, goddamnit, have you seen him? His neck looks so snappable.