if i look back, i am lost
Kiana Khansmith
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
⁂
Keni
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
izzy's playlists!
#extradirty
styofa doing anything
NASA
RMH
Claire Keane
Sade Olutola
Kaledo Art
No title available
Xuebing Du
ellievsbear
we're not kids anymore.
i don't do bad sauce passes
Origami Around
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@disastersquad99
Lena: I wonder what I should get Carter for his birthday.
Angel: Something useful and that he doesn’t have yet or something.
Lena: [gifts Carter a brain in a jar]
Carter: What the fuck is wrong with you?
Lena: You could use one and you don’t have one.
Jonas: My parrot is a fucking dumbass with no sense of self-preservation. Proof? He got spooked by a pear — by all accounts a green and tasty friend — and flew into a wall to escape, but when greeted with a sink full of soapy boiling water — by all accounts a harmful, bird-killing abyss — he launched himself into it at top speed and cried when I locked him in baby jail to stop him from killing himself.
Lena: Please tell your parrot I still love him.
Jonas: He just threw his seeds all over the carpet and laughed about it so I will not.
“What if some gnomes made a pact with Levistus to not die in the fucking Holocaust?”
— @broadwaytheanimatedseries making a tiefling bard, 2020
Carter: What do you consider the height of stupidity?
Lena: I don’t know, how tall are you?
*while playing a card game*
Jake: *showing a card called Tentacles from the Tomb* Look, that’s my kink!
Carter: So you admit to being a necrophiliac?
Jake: No, I meant the tentacles, dumbass!
Rachel to Adam: When will you learn, when will you learn, THAT YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES?????
Char: I’m gonna need a human skull and I can’t have you ask any questions why.
Mod: Only if you also don’t ask why.
Char: What... okay sure.
Mod: *pulls out 7 pristine human skulls from her bag* Take your pick.
Thisle: Now, I know that you and I didn’t always get along, Faraday—
Faraday: You forbid me to speak unless it was an emergency because you said that my paranoia gives you gas.
Lena: Truth or dare.
Carter: Truth.
Lena: How many hours have you slept this week?
Carter: Dare.
Lena: Go to sleep.
Carter: I don’t like this game.
Riv, to Tipp: get your bitch ass over here and cuddle with me you little shit
Riv: How long does your ideal hug last?
Tipp: 30-45 minutes.
Riv: That seems really impractical.
Tipp: You said ideal, not realistic.
Jinx: Why are Tipp and Riv sitting back to back?
Leo: They had a fight.
Jinx: Why are they holding hands?
Leo: Tipp gets sad when they fight.
Angel: It’s 2019, why hasn’t a bank had a slogan “it’s common cents” yet?
Carter: I say we demand change
Lena, sarcastically: Wow, these puns caught my interest
Chris: Henry, I knight thee in the name of the father—
Carter: *waves*
Chris: The son—
Angel: *dabs*
Chris: And the unholy spirit
Lena: *screeches*
Neve: Why do we even need coming out day? Everyone is a little gay.
Nathan: Well, I’m a big gay, and I’m coming out today as the world’s biggest gay!
“I am going to do my best, pretend that it’s a cat...”
— Joseph S. Carter, when faced with a creepy child (his future daughter).
“Sometimes a family is two guys who met randomly in a bar despite knowing each other for a while online, their two cats, and a possessed child who serves as the vessel of Azathoth.”
— @everynight-cainite