Why I'm only 25 and exhausted by dating...
There have been many dates and many red flags over the years. I always assume, out of optimism, that the next guy will be better. I make sure to notice things that aren't ok, and get out before I get hooked, but some guys do all the right things and still fuck you over.
So here's the story of my latest dating endeavour, and why I'M SO DONE WITH DATING!
- A mutual friend of a friend gets in touch after a drunk text from me told him he was cute. He is the 'dream' version of my type and out of my league.
- We message for a week, every day, he always messages each morning, and is genuinely interested in my life.
- We go on first date. I'm super nervous but he takes me to a gorgeous little cocktail bar and we laugh and talk for 4 hours. It was a great first date, and he text me on the way home to say so.
- Continue to message daily for another week.
- 2nd date, I take him to see a west end show as it happens to be his birthday. He smoothly quotes Pride & Prejudice to me (it's my favourite line in any romance film) Excellent 2nd date - kissed goodbye.
- Messaging continues daily for another week, we spend a few hours talking and laughing on the phone. He always says goodnight.
- 3rd date, he brings me yellow and white roses and wine. I cook for him at mine, we sit on the sofa for hours, having wine making cocktails and talking about our lives and goals. He opens up to me about his mental health struggles, self harm, and how he has recovered. He becomes teary. He 'misses' the last train and stays the night - fooled around a little but did not sleep together.
- Messaging increases, he is genuinely interested in my life, my friends and work. He calls to tell me about his weekend at home and says he told his mum about me. He is worried though about our mutual friends finding this thing between us wierd (first red flag), but insists he just wants to spend more time with me as he's having a great time.
- 4th date (week 5), I booty call him before a night out, and go round to his place. He messages me all night after.
- Day after sleeping together, no message
- 2nd day after sleeping together, no message.
- 3rd day, determined not to be the girl pathetically checking her phone every 10 minutes, I message him to ask what's going on.
- He replies saying 'he didn't know what to say'
- I make things easy for him and say that I've loved seeing him, but he needs to tell me what's going on, is it me, is it just bad timing, is it going too fast?
- He replies saying he is not ready for a relationship and he was worried about what our mutual friends thought.
- I replied saying that's fine and I've had fun.
- 1 week later, it's my birthday, no message.
4 months later - he's in a relationship.
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