.ECNEICSNOC

I am the damned, I am the dead, I am the agony inside the dying head

[tom-nippleston]

The people in the apartment below me are playing “Never Have I Ever” and I’m smoking on my porch creeping on their game

[tom-nippleston]

Guy 1: Never have I ever INTIONALLY walked in on my parents having sex Gal 1: fuck you brandon! It wasn’t intentional! I didn’t know what they were doing!!! Brandon (Guy 1): Shut up Katy no one is THAT oblivious take your drink

[tom-nippleston]

Katy: Never have I ever LOST a wet tshirt contest

(Good job Katy. You do you. Proud of you boo)

[tom-nippleston]

Gal 2: Never have I ever pierced my genitals Brandon: IT WAS IN FOR LIKE A MONTH! Katy: Whatever bitch, take a drink you Prince Albert having douche Brandon: I’m being singled out I hate you all

[tom-nippleston]

Guy 2: Never have I ever had a threescore [Pause] Guy 2: WHAT THE FUCK KATY?!?!?!?! Katy: Shut up Andrew it’s before we even knew each other this was years ago!!! [Pause] Andrew: And you won’t even watch porn with me…

(the family is disintegrating)

[tom-nippleston]

Brandon: Never have I ever been in such a confrontational game of Never Have I Ever….

[People saying ‘cheers’]

(stop fighting guys you’re tearing this family apart…..)

[tom-nippleston]

Andrew: Never have I ever had sex WITH a piece of food. [Pause] Andrew: Dude Brandon: Dude Katy: Dude omg Gal 2: what? Omg EVERY girl has practiced giving head with a banana! Katy: Um no Ester. SOME of us just practice on dicks. Ester: what the fuck though. Whatever.

(Don’t let them kink shame you Ester I still love you)

[tom-nippleston]

#TeamEster #BananaSplits

[tom-nippleston]

Andrew is testing a banana. Go for it andrew. Explore your wild side #TeamEster #TeamKink

[tom-nippleston]

Brandon: Never have I ever been called a fuckboy Katy and Andrew: TO YOUR FACE Brandon: Go fuck a banana Andrew

#TeamBananaFucking

[tom-nippleston]

Ester: Never have I ever had a crush on a family member Brandon: [random fumbling noises] Katy: brandon omg ew Andrew: yeah man come the fuck on wtf man its 2016 Brandon: SHE WAS MY COUSIN AND I WAS 13 IT’S NOT LIKE SHE WAS MY SISTER AND IT WAS JUST A CRUSH NOTHING HAPPENED Ester: methinks thou dost protest too fucking much Brandon: NEVER TELLING YOU SHIT AGAIN Andrew: Chug your drink, Sir IncestsALot Brandon: Chug a fucking banana Andrew

#TeamBananaFucking #TeamWhatTheFuckBrandon

[tom-nippleston]

Katy and Andrew have gone home in an Uber to apparently sex it up. Alway use a designated driver, kids. And always put protection on your Banana.

#BananaCreamPie #GamesOverKids #TeamEster

[hotmenandotherdistractions]

This is spectacular.

[lawfulgrunge-deactivated2019010]

[evolvedleo-deactivated20170414]

fucking incredible

[911official-deactivated20200526]

I like to rœck oöt

[zackisontumblr]

me on a first date

[lavenderek]

i like to throw shit aräund

[hanyouu]

[currybro]

[madonees]

[sleepingpowder]

[timotaychalamet]

Titanic (1997) dir. James Cameron

[cockkotwica]

[yo-its-matt]

[whisperintoass-deactivated20200]

[pochowek]

[nemfrog]

[amarcia]

[twoofcups]

gordon ramsey: is the food good here?

underpaid server: 

[b0ggyb1tch]

[dadmech]

[twinky-dinky-doo]

[gangler]

Barnes and Nobles is gonna start serving food and alcohol.

Everybody’s cracking jokes about how it’s a desperate attempt to stay relevant in the age of Amazon.

But you know what? Props to them. This is exactly what Blockbuster didn’t do. At no point was Blockbuster like “Hey, movie rentals aren’t the lucrative enterprise they once were. Perhaps it’s time we become known for our cheesy garlic bread.”

[mackasaurussex]

Okay but…if someone wants to take me on a date to a Barnes and noble and get me dinner and a drink and then let me peruse the stacks like I’m not saying no. A sandwich, a beer, and 2-5 books on various topics I hope I’ll someday read about? Good night.

[silvysartfulness]

The Swedish equivalent of Blockbuster is now best known for its candy, snacks and sodas.

[thestraggletag]

This is El Ateneo Grand Splendid, an old theatre turned bookstore in Buenos Aires:

The stage itself was turned into a cafe:

You can’t even begin to comprehend the massive amounts of money this place makes, despite the fact that they turned the theatre boxes into reading nooks like this:

I’ve literally spent days holed up in there reading books for free while also consuming massive amounts of coffee and pastries.

Adapt or die, people.

[frayedcobweb]

Take me to Buenos freaking Aires… Leave me in this bookshop… Never look for me, you will not find me again.

[systlin]

If I ever get to Buenos Aires I’mma vanish into this bookshop and live there forever. 

[sreynawi]

UGH

I am tired of these animals. I spend my fucking day slaving away on the island catching all of these fucking beetles, just to come BACK to town and sell them all just to GO and pay for the 224,000 bridge then to go BACK to the island, then to come back and find someone at my campsite only to then find that once I ask them to move in, THEY SAY “OH MY FRIENDS BACK IN TOWN ARE GOING TO MISS ME. CHANGE MY MIND.” YOU CANNOT JUST BOP ME LIKE THAT, I ONLY HAVE EIGHT VILLAGERS THERE IS ROOM FOR TWO MORE. NONE OF YOU DONATE TO THE PUBLIC WORKS BUT ARE ABLE TO BUY AN EXPENSIVE ASS CROWN OFF OF ME. I HAVE HAD IT. I AM TIRED, I DO THE MOST, YALL ASK FOR THE MOST FROM ME BUT CANT EVEN RETURN THE FAVOR. BIG HEADED ASS BITCH ISTG. I MAKE PLANS WITH YOU FOR YOU TO COME OVER TO MY NICE ASS FANCY HOUSE AND YOU SAY “OH OKAY IM GONNA BE THERE AT 1:30 PM” WELL GUESS WHAT YOU NEVER SHOWED UP AND I WAS WAITING FOR TEN WHOLE FUCKING MINUTES. THEN I GO OUT TO FIND YOU, AXE IN HAND BECAUSE IM TOTALLY JUST CHOPPING DOWN TREES. “OH MAULI I WAS EATING A SNACK AND I LOST TRACK OF TIME” ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! IM TIRED OF THIS SHIT IM GOING TO RUN OVER YOUR FLOWER GARDEN, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU >:(

[banishedquasiroyal-deact]

FUCK silverfish

[daystxlker]

if those are the little bug things that look like centipedes yeah fuck em omfg

[banishedquasiroyal-deact]

I HATE THEM SO MUCH

[daystxlker]

OH IN MINECRAFT I THOUGHT YOU MEANT. REAL ONES SLDKJFLSKDJLFSDF

[banishedquasiroyal-deact]

wait

WHAT DO YOU MEAN REAL ONES

[booty-clappin-deactivated201807]

where do you think the name came from

[banishedquasiroyal-deact]

i don’t know, tumblr user plump9000. i sort of thought they weren’t real, like endermen. or creepers.

[timurmurtazin]

>implying endermen aren’t real

[banishedquasiroyal-deact]

really not liking what you’re implying buddy

[amosseleznev92]

The fresh adult dating site that makes it easy to find casual sex near you. Join free to someone new instantly, and hook up tonight

[pochowek]

[retrogamingblog]

Region Stickers released by the Pokemon Center

[cheerbearlikestomine]

fox: *just puts lit torch in mouth*

[mincerafter]

[100493503004422]

me: [facedown on the floor] listen everything is totally fine