New doctor: so what are your medical conditions, if any?
Me: *heaves a heavy sigh*

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@dissociated-dodrio-blog1
New doctor: so what are your medical conditions, if any?
Me: *heaves a heavy sigh*
We can't take anymore Sam
Birds are chirping outside our window. It's really nice. I just wish it'd give us the energy to get up to go to class. Sam
We went to church today. It was really good to be there cause we haven't been for at least 3 weeks. Sometimes it's really hard for us to be there cause there are a lot of people in a fairly small space. Often we have to step out cause we get so anxious. Today we stayed for more than half of the first meeting. Our close friend and the president of the local branch we attend spoke. He talked about his experiences that have taught him how and why he should try to love everyone he's met. A more loving person we've never met and he's been a great example to us. He's inspired us to find ways to strengthen our relationship with our Heavenly Father. It's what has gotten us through this week. We've had personal experiences with our Heavenly Father. What we love most is that God acknowledges each one of us alters. He knows the names we go by and he loves each one of us. We know that and it has helped us so much through this past week. We want to be more of a help to people who struggle and help them find the love that has strengthened and helped us. Christ will give us the courage and confidence to do what we need to do. He loves us and the people that we have the potential to help. What we experience in this life will bless us as well as those people we meet and help. He has given us the direction that we need to go in. He is with us and he will always help us. Sam
Something we learned.
So, on Sunday we took enough pills to overdose on. We did end up going to the Emergency Room with a friend. We threw up there and they monitored us over night and discharged us in the morning. It was an interesting experience. We should not have taken all those pills, we recognize that. At the time it truly seemed like the only option. We felt worse than we've ever felt mentally that Sunday. And then yesterday and Monday we felt worse than we've ever felt physically. If we were given a do over knowing what we would feel and know now we would definitely not choose to try that again but I can't say that we've regretted the experience and what we've learned. We got to see ourselves and our life in a different way. And we realized that we aren't really happy in the direction we've been going. And we saw a way to have hope. It's been hard but we're going to learn from it. Sam
Pokémon + Colors!!
Suicidal
I don't know how other people feel when they're suicidal but right now I know we are suicidal. It's like one part of our brain is watching us and knows that swallowing a bunch of pills is a bad thing to do but the other part, the stronger part, doesn't care. We don't feel anything. We feel no affection for friends. We don't care if we don't get to finish that one video game we've been working on for months. We don't care about our religion. There is no caring going on in our head. Soon the last of our pills will be swallowed. It might not kill us. It might cause us a lot of pain. But right now it seems better than anything else.
When you are small, if you reach out, and nobody takes your hand, you stop reaching out, and reach inside, instead.
Amanda Eyre Ward, How to Be Lost (via wordsnquotes)
anxiety: ur gonna be late!!! get there early
me: *is 15 mins early*
anxiety: no ones here ur in the wrong place!!!
An incomplete list of some of my favourite early Pokemon game glitches
If you end an encounter in a draw, the game will behave as if you lost, but the victory jingle will still play anyways.
You can evolve a Pokemon that requires a stone to evolve without using an item by leveling it up in battle, and then finishing the battle with a Pokemon with a hexadecimal identifier equal to the needed stone.
All items and attacks intended to quadruple your chance of landing a crit actually quarter it instead. Whoops.
Some of the hidden items in the Japanese releases of Red and Green just have flat-out incorrect coordinates for the itemfinder’s reference, and if you pick up one out of this set of six miscoded items, the other five become unobtainable.
The aforementioned hidden items can, however, somehow be made obtainable again by moving a fossil item out of your inventory.
You can use the storage system to get yourself a party of only fainted pokemon. This results in the player character blacking out four steps after leaving the PC
If you catch a Pokemon that has used transform, via legitimate moveset, use of metronome, or otherwise, the game will just assume it was a ditto once it’s in your possession.
You can end the encounter with the Ghost Marowak without a Sylph Scope by just throwing a Pokedoll at it.
Catching an ‘M with a Hexadecimal identifier of 00 will leave behind an invisible but otherwise Completely Normal Ditto with its previous moveset at level 0 or 80 that needs to be caught or defeated before the battle can properly end. These games have been out for twenty years and we still don’t know why this happens.
You can buy any of the drinks in the Celadon vending machines as long as you have enough to buy a Fresh Water.
Walking around enough with Pikachu off screen in Yellow can just completely destroy the game for some reason.
If you force a glitch Pokemon with a hexadecimal value of FF into your party, the game will treat it as a hybrid of both Charizard and the cancel button. The game treats this whole scenario about as well as you would expect.
Attempting to use the Mew Encounter exploit with a Pokemon with a special stat of over 250 results in encountering a glitch trainer who causes the game to just flip the absolute fuck out when trying to calculate how much money to award you afterwards. This causes the relevant memory poiner to shoot off to god knows where, and as a result it just sets a solid two hundred unrelated hexadecimal values in the game to 99 in the process, filling your party with level 153 Bulbasaur that can only use explosion. God Bless.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEWTWO!
Regional Bird Pokemon