Comet Child

And so I was in the darkness, so darkness I became

[distanced-mind]

Brown eyes have never been prettier than the pair I was blessed with to gaze into tonight

[distanced-mind]

How do I tell my friends that, what I’m doing for my birthday is to fight my depression? What I want to do is to fight the urge to hurt myself, to lay under a blanket and cry.

What I want to do on my birthday is to take moments to myself to figure out why I’m feeling this pain.

[distanced-mind]

I’m never content with where I am.

I miss places I’ve been and,

crave places I’ve never been.

[distanced-mind]

New day, same disappointment

[distanced-mind]

Sometimes it feels like dating is a distraction to your dreams

[distanced-mind]

It’s one of those days that the negative self-talk is winning and the scars are burning

[distanced-mind]

I miss you.

I miss sharing our lives with each other.

I now realize how dynamic we were to each other’s lives.

I miss being a freaking dork with you.

I miss listening you to yap for hours while thinking your voice reminds me of Sonata 14.

I just simply miss you.

[distanced-mind]

Be with him and hate me forever.

I’d rather you hate me for ruining everything, than all the in between.

I’d rather you hate me than love me mediocrely.

I rather you love him than care for me occasionally.

Because he’s more important to you than I could ever earn a spot to be.

[distanced-mind]

You say one day we’ll look back and laugh about it. Though I wonder if we’ll be laughing about it together or in our distanced lives.

[distanced-mind]

Your eyes are special,

You see the spectacular in the world.

But you just couldn’t see how she saw you.

Another boring guy.

She’s playing battle ship with him over the phone and you’re hurt in your feelings.

No matter how hard you fight to become someone, you’re no one to her.

[distanced-mind]

I watered you hoping that you’d water me back so we can grow together. Instead you watered someone else, now I’m wilting and spring has barely sprung

[distanced-mind]

I hate how much I am obsessed with this woman

[distanced-mind]

Is it just me or there’s nothing like the sensation of having your crush be the first person to wish you happy birthday after midnight?

[distanced-mind]

I was always someone’s almost.

The kind of guy they talk to because I was accessible but never the one they love talking to. I was the kind of guy that was dependable, never gave up on anyone. A fighter for other people, I don’t regret it, even though it hurts. Standing up for people I love and never lost hope easily. Yet, I was just an option and never the priority or preferred.

A choice never chosen. Lovable but never loved. A great guy but never the guy. To make matters worse, I knew it all along but hopeful to be proven wrong. But I let them, I let them use me. Let them come and go, let them break my heart and take from my soul. All because I need to feel needed.

Fuck, it hurts but at least it’s starting to go numb.

[distanced-mind]

I think it’s beautiful the way you show up in the world, genuine, authentic, and kind, willing to stay hopeful despite all of the cruelty and times it tried to defeat you.

I think it’s beautiful how courageous you are waking up each morning fighting for better days with people you love despite the numerous times life has taken from you. I think it’s beautiful the way you turn losses into lessons which few people can ever do, the way you fight even when you feel weak. You’re not, you’re stronger than life.

These are what I believe makes you the most beautiful person I’ve had the pleasure of meeting and hope of loving.

All the reasons I find you beautiful.

[distanced-mind]

I think it’s beautiful the way you show up in the world, genuine, authentic, and kind, willing to stay hopeful despite all of the cruelty and times it tried to defeat you.

I think it’s beautiful how courageous you are waking up each morning fighting for better days with people you love despite the numerous times life has taken from you. I think it’s beautiful the way you turn losses into lessons which few people can ever do, the way you fight even when you feel weak. You’re not, you’re stronger than life.

These are what I believe makes you the most beautiful person I’ve had the pleasure of meeting and hope of loving.

All the reasons I find you beautiful.

[distanced-mind]

There wasn’t a single thing in this beautiful life that I’ve found tempting, till I encountered your temptations.