you know what, fuck it be free, keep reading that bad fan fiction, keep writing that bad fanfiction, keep using y/n, keep staying up to 4 a.m reading x reader, to be cringe is too be free
Never enough sex, never enough love, never enough time, never enough energy to do what all the things they want to do in a day. These aspects are all about extremes. The native have SO MUCH energy they intimidate even themselves. They feel as if their desires cannot be sufficed and while that maybe sounds silly, it can be the most desperate feeling. You know when in vampire novels/movies they always endear the character of the vampire by explaining his plight in being unable to quench his desire to eat good food, enjoy good music, in general, enjoy human life to its fullest? Well that’s how these natives feel. Their fullest are simply extremes no one can really reach them at. Unlike Neptune aspects which might make an individual prey to distractions or addictions out of aimlessness, Jupiter in harsh aspect to Mars does it simply because they don’t know where else to possibly direct their immense fire to. They want to feel GOOD, they want to feel PASSION they want that hole to be filled with the most intensely capitvating of our human experience.
Emotionally their landscape, whatever their moon and venus sign be, is simply intense. The insatiable appetite of their desires is the root of their drive. Oftentimes their outlets for this energy are physical ones - any type of exercise is very helpful for them. In arguments, they get heated FAST. Probably prone to some anger issues most likely as they mature, especially as children these natives struggle to control themselves, not in a malicious way nor a particularly manipulative way, just in they see red like a little kid throwing a temper tantrum.
In love, they’re arguably some of the MOST generously, shamelessly loving placements. The will-hold-a-radio-over-their-head like an in 80s film under your window to proclaim their love/apologize/ask you to prom/what have you. They just are simply not too proud to tell you their innermost feelings of joy once they really love you. Everything with them is above and beyond what’s necessary, for better or worse. As appealing as that may be, word to the wise - keeping up with them will tire out even the most energetic of people, so don’t try to. Sure, you definitely want to show them a good time, but show them it’s ok to slow down, help them cool down and pace themselves. Show them passion knows no time frame. That’s the real way to secure one of these individuals, show them a peace that comes from within.
PAC: What do others see that is beautiful about you? [Gender neutral!]
Hey everybody!!! ( ≧∀≦)ノ
Im back with my second pick-a-card reading, this time all about what is beautiful about you!
Yes, you!!! So get in here, take a deep breath, and choose your pile: let me tell you how beautiful you are inside and out!
And don't worry about anything super appearance related - this is mostly going to be about your inner beauty. Because that's where appreciation for the self truly begins!
Pick a pile here:
Pile One🪷 Pile Two🌺 Pile Three🌸
Which pile did you choose?
Pile 1 🪷
Pile 2 🌺
Pile 3 🌸
Voting ended onNov 4, 2025
Note: This is a timeless reading! Whenever you find it is the time you need to hear these messages at!
Decks used: Pagan Cats Tarot (and my own handmade Oracle deck)
Pile 1 🪷
Dragon, Potion
Knave (Page) of Wands, 5 of Cups, Knight of Swords
Hey Pile one!!! 🪷 (* ´ ▽ ` *)ﾉ
Right off the bat, I can tell you are a very headstrong person, or at least quite stubborn. You might have a bit of an intimidating presence or come off as a little unapproachable but people like that, in a way?
I can also tell that you are warm but honest, maybe to the point of being a little too blunt to your friends or loved ones! This quality of you is enhanced by the energy of how you carry yourself, and it makes you seem cutthroat sometimes.
People admire that whenever you have made up your mind about something, you don't stop until your goals are achieved.
I am also picking up that some of you make amazing home-cooked meals, and that may also be a sort of love language for you (I love that so much especially because I can relate, cooking a warm meal for someone you love feels so good!!)
Overall you have a fiery presence that was strengthened by experiences but never broken, and that strength is your beauty!
Thank you for reading! 🪷 If it resonated, please give me a like and consider reblogging or commenting and share your pile in tags!
⊹ ࣪ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖
Pile 2🌺
Water, Fire
4 of Pentacles, King of Swords, 8 of Swords
Hey Pile Twos!!!!! 🌺 (^o^)
Now this is quite an interesting pile! You have an "intriguing vibe" is what I immediately thought of - people see you as interesting and out of the ordinary.
There are two opposing energies in this read, and I'm leaning towards interpreting this as a mostly androgynous look and especially voice: I love androgynous voices so damn much, you lot are definitely super cool!!!
This could also point to the fact that maybe you're the type of person who wants to be seen as nonchalant and cool, but the moment you open your mouth you overshare. (same besties😭)
I also think that some might see you as being conflicted or even shy sometimes, but with the context of the reading I highly doubt they think that's a bad thing: you're beautiful because you care!
I'm sorry but I need to go on a tangent here... (Feel free to skip this paragraph if the previous bit didn't resonate!) The modern trend of being mysterious and nonchalant by any means necessary is so stupid, to be honest. Especially in a world that already encourages separation and distance from others, taking away the coolness of being oneself unapologetically is the cruelest joke anyone could be subjected to. You don't need to be nonchalant and cool to be liked, hell, quite the opposite is true!!! Be loud, overshare, do things your way even if it's "wrong", please! Do things for yourself for once, it's not worth the clout to be like what is "cool" if it's not who you really are!!! Okay tangent over, let's get back to the reading!
Other than this, I'm picking up on the vibe that people really like when you speak, and think you're eloquent or say what you actually think!
To end the read I just really wanna say that I sincerely hope this finds those who need it! Take care dears! ( *´・ω)/(；д； )
Thank you for reading! 🌺 If it resonated, please give me a like and consider reblogging or commenting and share your pile in tags!
⊹ ࣪ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖
Pile 3🌸
Peacock, Cat
Judgement, Knight of Pentacles, Hermit
Hey Pile Three!🌸 ( ´-ω-)
Alright, I can definitely see that most of you are reserved or introverted people, with a calm air about them. You have a sort of stability that people admire about you!
You most likely either already have or will have a deep calling, a goal that you pursue, but what others can see from this might be very limited - like you're always super mysterious, or at least don't let on too much.
This pile specifically is probably some of the physically prettiest people out there, you have something about your appearance that catches people's eyes - especially your hair. (It may be dyed an unusual color for some of you?)
People see you as a very laid-back person, and you may have the "black cat energy", I can also see RBF for some of you, but in an aesthetic way that others see as beautiful!
Thank you for reading! 🌸 If it resonated, please give me a like and consider reblogging or commenting and share your pile in tags!
[miscellaneous notes]
dividers by @uzmacchiato
This reading took me a bit longer to finish than my first one but I hope y'all still like it! And it's just in time for the November full moon!!! I hope everyone enjoyed it!!＼(^o^)／
If you like what I do and want to support me further, consider getting me a coffee or tea.
Sexual tea spill on you and your ULTIMATE MAN[FS]- PAC (18+)
Divider- @uzmacchiato and @anitalerina
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT , THIS IS AN 18+ READING.
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𐙚CHANNELED MOODBOARD [USING TAROT AND INTUITION] P-1
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PILE 1
Okay, first of all, the first song that popped into my mind was Hips Don't Lie, babyyyyy
You might be someone who has really curvaceous body, or your hip area might really be very attractive.
This is giving lots of slow burn and pacing. It feels as if either of you, no, actually both of you, like testing each other's patience and bringing each other on the edge.
You both want each other to be desperate, and it's like competition on who lets down the guard first.
I think there is something about your scent that is very attractive, or just the way you smell.
Your fingers and your hair might really be attractive, your fingers might be slender and well-shaped and groomed, and your hair, I don't know, there is something just so attractive about it.
Someone here is lazyy to have sex , might be a guy who likes it when you ride em .
You are someone who needs sensory stimulation to turn on !!
Someone here might initially not be very confident about their body or sex life in general . I also see lots of self doubt !
I STRONGLY BELIEVE that ya'll will love the sex when either of you is sad , it's like you guys are saving eachother/either of you from drowing in sadness or melancholy ! And that my dear reader will LIBERATE YOUR SOUL.
Your sex will feel very spiritual and healing , the type of union where you loose your mind for a minute and teleport somewhere else.
Lotssssss of gasping and nails digging in flesh !
I see the partner being the DOM , but when YOU'RE IN THE MOOD , HAHAHAAHHAHAAH . Lets not talk about that *winks*
Random but I heard Adele.
This man*chef's kiss* , you know the type of man who looks at you while thrusting , trying to catch his own breath , yet admiring his girl ,it's like he will evaluvate all your expressions , to grade himself .
Makes sure that you feel ever thrust and touch of his , so that it's imprinted in our mind
This dude has some really crazy muscles or his wand is just really gorgeous and veiny !
I see this man wearing full sleeve shirts and his broad shoulders being highlighted
I can only imagine how this man is make sure you're sore and energyl less .
You looks DROP DEAD GORGEOUS in satin robes , this man would just wanna eat you up.
Great at fingering ,and eating your lips down there .His wand HAHAHAH don't even get men started , he activate multiple pleasure reaction in you while being inside you .You might have long legs with thick thighs AND HE LOVESSSSSS THEM ,
He lovessssssssss the curves
He is the master of dirty talk , he will like it when you call him names , and scream when it gets too much for him
You eyes hynotize him , you might have a few moles on your face , which adds up to your beauty .
He might like your nosee a lotttttttt , weird but makes him wanna eat your face .
You might be this voluptuous beauty , you remind me of Roxyy , from Mr. Bean .
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PILE 2
THE WAY I AM GIGGLING ANG GOING WTF RN ! Ya'll have no idea .
Okay so I pulled out 10 cards , BUT this particular combo had me giggling , [9 of Cups ,The tower , 10 of coins, 9 of coins]
Okay, I don't know why I had two of wands pop-up in Pile1's reading, and now I have two of wands pop-up in your reading, too.
one thing that I have to tell you is Whenever y'all will do it, it's gonna be planned. It's like you guys would have taken your own good time to get to know each other, and then you both will mutually decide to take this relationship to a next stage. So, your physical encounter is not going to be totally random.
I have a feeling that you are the shy one or the hesitant one. This might also be your first time for some reason. This might be the version I do. But I must say, your chest area and the neckline is just so attractive. Probably even your lips, jawline, and smile. It's like the area below nose till your breast is just so attractive. This random image of collarbone is popping out so you might have some really sexy collarbone which just turns on your future spouse will be really attracted by your side profile for some reason. You will often find them staring at you when you're just looking somewhere or you're in your own world or when you wear v-neck clothes.
One thing that's for sure is your man is gonna lead the deed . He is this fierce guy who just wants to hop in. It's like by the time you realize what is happening and give yourself the window period to feel emotions like shyness, embarrassment, or have doubts about yourself, they're already inside you. They're that quick. It's like you don't even have time to think. The action has already started. And once the start, once the action has started, oh my god, girl, I need to tell you, you're gonna be blown away.
It's like you won't have time to breathe. And you don't know which sensation to embrace first. It's like they are all over your body. Absolutely everywhere. You're actually trying to decide which pleasure to take in because it's coming from all the directions, from each and every inch of your body.
This person is a very experienced player probably even had a girl's falling for him okay this is so weird but even his chest is very attractive, chest and arms.
You have to be really gentle and thoughtful about you while doing the deed, because probably either you are a virgin or you have gotten into physical intimacy after a really long period of time. So this person feels very privileged that he is going to be the one who is going to be involved with you physically.
It's like he is hell-bent on making it special for you. He is going to overthink every stroke, every touch, and every look. And he is going to study wondering if he is actually doing well or not.You might be the type of guy who is very kinky, might even like outdoor sex, or the frequency of you guys having sex is really high.
He is usually very rough and non-stop. But then with you, he wants to be mindful of every moment, he wants to soak in your expressions. There is something just so sexy about your lips that he just wants to keep biting them, pulse your collarbones and jaw. There might also be a sensitive spot. If not, this person is obsessed with them.
For some reason, I also see a lot of fluid . Probably, one after the other, climaxes keep on building. Or you guys might use lubricants or oils often. Just know that the fluid is all over the place
.One more thing I got was, your future spouse is actually shocked how he doesn't realize how gorgeous you are. He keeps wondering why you are nervous or insecure in the first place. He will be absolutely spellbound when he sees you naked. It's like, you might be the type of person who covers themselves with layers of clothes, leaving no space for anybody to imagine what would be under it.
This person will be so fucking desperate to have sex with you. I'm not even kidding. It's like they'll grab you at the most random moment at the most random places, giving you those intense eye contact while clenching their jaw and then moving their eyes down to your lips trying to give you a hint.
You are more of a traditional type. And then this person is also traditional, but when it comes to his desire, he's like, fuck traditions. I want you.For some reason, I'm laughing actually.
The climax is going to be so electric. It's like your body is tired, you're not able to catch up your breath, yet you want more. You do it. You guys can never get enough of each other. I think you will be shy a first few times, and then secretly you will be the one teasing him, or will be really desperate for him to touch you.
You might also discover this new side of yours, where you're going bonkers to experience the feeling again and again. I also see pregnancy coming, and I also see you being really horny during pregnancy too. It's like no matter what phase of life, you both can just cannot keep your hands to yourself.
His strokes are long , also he might have a breeding kink . He likes to eat your breasts , actually feast on your breasts , your smile and lips drive him crazy
He really sees you as this damsel in distress
The way you roll your eyes , and struggle to put the words out and grab into them , IT'S THE END OF THEM !
Also, he is going to be in control of everything. He might also delay the CLIMAX just to see you wanting for more. He might like it without protection, but then the choice is yours, babe.!You get it, right? He also likes it very rough and fast. He likes to hold you by the hips and just immerse into your body while doing it. Also because there might be a size difference between you two.
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PILE 3
Okay, Pile 3, look who we have here. Finally we have a MOMMY ENERGY I need to say, you are the one who is going to drive your guy on the edge.
He might be a soft guy who just wants your permission for everything, will ask you twice before even touching you or kissing you. He will want permission for everything just to make sure that you are okay with what he wants. But you, you are fucking begging for that dominance and control. But you just know that your guy is such a sweet cutie patootie that you would die a virgin if you depend upon him to take the action.
You seem like the girl who would seduce him, make him turn on while he is in denial, trying to avoid the embarrassment, or trying to show his sexual desires while you are out there turning him on and wanting more from him.
I think you expected a dominant partner, but over the time you just fucking enjoy this mommy energy that you have over him. I also see that either of you might like bondage. You guys are heavily into roleplay, like OMG, don't even get me started. You guys might like having some drink before getting on with the deed. It could be something as simple as a water, energy drink, or even alcohol, but you guys do like getting your body heated up before doing the date.
This person is going to be very very gentle. He is almost going to treat you like those sculptures from museums. So gentle, so delicate, don't be scared that even if he holds you tight, it might hurt you while you are out there grabbing him, scratching him, pulling his hair, and biting him. He secretly likes it. It heals a part of him, he feels wanted. He believes that he is worth being in a relationship with. He'll just be happy to know that You are ready to have a physical encounter.
It feels like this person likes to just admire you when you are doing the deed. He likes to touch you gently and softly. Let's say you are on the top. Instead of grabbing you or holding you, he is the type of guy who would tuck your hair behind your ear. He will make you feel like a princess.
This guy's way of doing sex is not rough or brutal. He likes the soft sex where you are actually immersed into each other's soul. He will be giving you feather touches. He will hold you so softly and that softness might make you cum. The way he kisses you, the way he likes the bridge between your boobs. That's something that I have not read before, honestly. The pile 1, I would say, is mid-range. Pile 2 is extreme rough while you are the softest pile.
He might like to take you from the back ,for some reason i also do see that you both might like the positions where your muscles are stretched .
This guy will BEAT the other 2 pile's men , whn he is JEALOUS ! You'll see his monster [safe , no physical abuse. In energy sense] side , where he will go on for hours and everytime the theme will be different .
This guy will be really silent or the quiet one , and you being the brat you are will try to seduce him in all the ways , you'll try to provoke him . It's not that you don't affect him , he is just not used to taking action on his emotions.
Either of you might be a gamer , I had this specific image that when he is working , or playing games on a laptop , you will come in , snuggle , then unclasp your bra infront of him and hug him tighter or get inside his sweatshirt , nudge his ear , and moaning while you bite on his skin
This gentle man is breaking down peace by piece , his wand standing out , but god forbid he let you know !
You're high on grinding
You have long hair ? Cause that adds so much more to your sensuality .
This persons voice is your greatest turn on , he is more on the bulky type of body , like a fire man ! and everything about him is just so sexy .
His wand is thick af , will leave you gasping
You give me femme fatale energy
This is also giving lana del ray and her husband energy
Thickkkkkkk thighssss husband
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💌 The house person feels threatened by the mars person aggressive approach. They feel like the mars person invades their space.
💌 The mars person sees the house person as their own safe place.
💌When they discussed, many emotional issues get involved.
💌 How the Fight? 1. discussion, 2. crying noises, 3. emotional time, 4. sex.
💌 These two projects their own emotional (family related) baggage into the relationship.
💌S3x is intimate, secretive, healing, safe, emotional and ordinary? They only need their own space.
💌Intimacy for them is super private; it doesn't mean boring, yet they don't reveal their secrets at all.
💌 However, the house person parents may not like the mars person or vice versa.
💌Long term relationships
💌The mars person wants to build a home with the the hosue person.
💌 They follow traditional rules in relationships.
💌 One family may or not dislikes the relationship too much. It depends though.
💌 Sweet conversations, cooking together, cute pet names, Say "I love you" a lot, "bb, are you ok?", homebodies, special dates at home, netflix and chill, picnics, texting cringy msj (sorry ), knowing each other emotions, planning sex dates? Idk, cute vibes, anniversary /birthdays are sacred.
The Vibe you quietly sank into
Basically a far away night that will never come
In my head you’re already my lord
In reality you’re too far not close enough
You’re my one
You’re my one
I try seeing through you
Beautiful thoughts of you
A sign that comforts me
See something new
Your eyes follow my movements
Like they’re chasing after me
Oh go after the hidden reflection
I’ll dive in for a moment just for myself
Make me shiver just once
Romanticism in our
world together now
Permeate me, perfect masterpiece
Show me that path
This romantic feeling Together now
This sensual feeling Together now
This romantic feeling Together now
Uh you’re just like a lullaby in my dream
a beautiful starry sky
Stay here take it slow slow slow slow
Proudly show me all the moments
that could have passed
Just that itself
I’ll dive in for a moment just for myself
Make me shiver just once
Romanticism in our
world together now
Permeate me, perfect masterpiece
Show me that path
This romantic feeling Together now
This sensual feeling Together now
This romantic feeling Together now
I fall into
The various fantasies called you
(I fall into oh baby oh baby)
Oh no
Your two cheeks that are disappearing
Like it’s our last goodbye
The rain falls oh girl
For just a moment a piece for you
Feel me now
Romanticism in our
world together now
Melt into this symphony for you
Listen to this song (Listen to this song)
This romantic feeling Together now
This sensual feeling Together now
(Girl you know I’m watching you)
This romantic feeling Together now
PICK A CARD: your future spouse and you at the waterpark
Hello and welcome to this new reading of mine! In here I will tell you how a date at the park would go with your future spouse. I hope you’re excited about it and enjoy it as well!
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Pile 1:
You and your future spouse would most likely arrive later than you had originally planned: you both will have attempted to arrive at around 10, but will genuinely arrive around 12. It’s not too big of an issue but the two of you are simply not the greatest at time management. You will have driven there by car, your future spouse most likely having been the one to drive. Overall the waterpark is going to be a nice and fun day: it won’t be too warm but not incredibly cold either: just an overall nice day with nice weather that isn’t too extreme. You will try out a couple of slides but not too intense ones: you in particular not wanting to go on the very scary or aggressive ones since those can hurt you (like the slides can give you bruises or just overall hurt very bad). You’re future spouse is completely okay with that and won’t demand anything from you nor go on rides alone: whatever you wish to do they just follow right ahead. For them the day is simply about enjoying it with you, not about what you two actually do in the park itself. At some point you two will eat some lunch as well, lunch which you two will have prepared or gotten from somewhere before you arrived, finding the food at the waterpark not that amazing and for the quality just pretty overpriced. Hence why you two will have gotten some fast food or actually prepared sandwiches with you to munch on while drying up a bit.
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Pile 2:
You and your future spouse would actually end up arriving incredibly early, earlier then most people would even consider going. It will not be a casual waterpark type of place, more so a pretty fancy and luxurious wellness center, almost like a spa but still considered a waterpark technically. Because of how early you two arrive it will not be very crowded at all: you two will get to walk in almost as if the place belongs to you for a couple of hours. It will feel like you two managed to sneak in at the perfect time, when everything is clean, quiet and not too chaotic yet. The two of you will not be too interested in going on the slides or jumping around, rather both of you will gravitate towards the more relaxing sections such as the hot tubs, saunas and even some steam rooms. There is going to be a big focus on comfort and on luxury for this date rather then on playfulness or chaos. You two will be drinking quite a bit as well, and not just simple things either. Think about wine, cocktails, maybe even some champagne. It will not be about getting drunk though, more about enjoying the taste and letting it add to the feeling of luxury. Your future spouse will most likely be the one ordering the drinks, but it will be a very joint decision on what the two of you want to try out. There is also going to be food involved, but again not like the first pile where it’s about fries or sandwiches. Here it will be sushi, maybe some small fancy side dishes, possibly even something like oysters if they are on the menu.
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Pile 3:
You and your future spouse would most likely arrive exactly on time, not late and not early either but simply the time you had originally planned out. This means you two had probably decided to go at around 9:30 or 10 in the morning, and the both of you will genuinely be there then. There won’t be many people at the entrance yet so the lines are short and you two can just rush in straight away, excited and a little bit tired still because of the early hour. Unlike some other couples who just take it easy, you two will be completely ready to go from the very first moment. No standing around or just staring at the pool: immediately both of you are going to the slides and not just some random ones but the extreme ones, the ones that are so fast you don’t even get to breathe right, your chest kind of slamming down as you get whooshed into the water at the bottom. You two will be making it like a mission of sort, like every single slide out there must be tried at least once before the day ends. Your future spouse will probably be the one pushing that idea first but you yourself will completely go along with it, hyped up by the moment and the adrenaline of it all. You will have small breaks here and there but even those are not really “calm” breaks, since the two of you are already planning which slide comes next, where to run, what path to take. It’s going to be a whole adventure the entire day and by the halfway point you’ll already be completely sore, your body hurting a little but your brain still screaming that it’s not enough yet.
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PICK A CARD: you and your future spouse on a sushi date
Hello and welcome to this new reading of mine! In here I will tell you about how a sushi date would go with you and your future spouse, I hope you enjoy!
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divider credits: @thecutestgrotto
Pile 1:
You and your future spouse will arrive pretty early, you not having eaten anything most of the day in order to fit as much food in your belly as you can. You two would most likely go to an all-you-can-eat sushi place in specific for this exact goal: eat as much for as little as possible. You both will start out with some sides before actually starting with the sushi roles themselves: think of some miso soup, seaweed salad, edamame beans, spring rolls, you get the drill. Both of you will keep your drinks light in order to not have the liquid fill you up completely. Once you both had a couple of sides which the two of you most likely shared you two will be holding some sort of sushi competition: who can eat the most pieces of sushi. There won’t be a time limit on this, not at all, but you two will both be ordering the exact same kinds of sushi to make it fair. If one person only eats cucumber maki they’d obviously eat way more pieces than the other if they’re constantly ordering dragon rolls for example. Overall, you two will be holding this game for a very long time whilst talking about all sorts of things that happened at work or at your education institution, maybe some gossip will be spoken about but not that much in detail.
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Pile 2:
You and your future spouse will be driving to a restaurant that neither one of you ever went to before. It’s going to be one of those places you’ve heard about from someone else, maybe a friend, maybe something you just saw online once, and you two finally decided to go try it. On the way there you’ll probably have some little nervousness going on, just because you don’t know how it works there yet, but you’re also really excited about the idea of trying something new together. It won’t be some all-you-can-eat thing this time, no, this time you two will be going to one of those fancier sushi restaurants where you only order rolls and nigiri. You’ll make a promise to each other to only order sushi and not go for sides or anything like that, because you both want to focus just on the fish, the sauces, the rolls, all of that. When you finally sit down you’ll probably start with some big rolls, like fried shrimp tempura rolls with spicy mayo, or maybe a volcano roll with crispy onions and eel sauce dripping on top. Your future spouse will definitely want to order something bold that you never had before, like maybe uni or toro, something really expensive that makes the bill higher than either of you thought it would be when you walked in. You both will laugh about it but you’ll still go for it, because it’s not an everyday thing and it makes the whole night feel kind of special.
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Pile 3:
You and your future spouse will not be going to a restaurant this time but instead the two of you will be ordering take out from your favorite sushi place. The funny part is that when you two will be looking at the menu you’ll think to yourself: ‘Okay, maybe just three or four rolls and that’s enough.’ but that’s not how it’s going to go at all. Instead both of you will be pointing out so many things that sound good that you’ll end up ordering way more than you had originally thought. Your partner might be the one going ‘Oh, but we need to get this one too.’ and you will agree because it’s just too tempting. On top of that you two will be receiving some free rolls from the restaurant as well, most likely because of the amount of food you ordered or just as a kind gesture from the chef. Either way, the two of you will look at all the boxes once the food arrives and burst out laughing since it’s way too much for just two people. Despite this you’ll still decide that you don’t want to save anything for the next day. You both will agree on one thing: sushi just isn’t the same if it’s not fresh and neither of you want to eat it the day after. So you’ll make it your goal to eat as much as you can and really enjoy the freshness of all the rolls. The variety will be huge: everything from maki to dragon rolls to more special ones. The one with ebu will end up being both of your favorite, so you two will be reaching for that one the most, maybe even playfully fighting over who gets the last piece.
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Hello and welcome to this post! In here I will give you all a couple of things I manifested this month, I hope this brings you all some motivation and enthusiasm!
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Acceptance in a private university (law school);
Moving countries;
My scedule at the university going down by about 80% of physical attendance;
Classes ending hours early;
5 grades back, all 100/100;
Constantly being brought to dinner;
Eating luxurious on a multitude of occasions;
Many compliments from all genders from many people (both appearance+personality-wise).
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⚠️This reading is general and may not apply to everyone.
This reading can apply to your crush, lover, partner.
Breathe deeply and let your intuition guide you 💫
pile 1 💋
I can see that the person on your mind has an inner conflict between wanting to appear strong and in control, and secretly being drawn to you in a way they can’t really hide. They feel pulled toward you quickly, but then hold back as if they’re afraid of the intensity of these feelings.
I can see that what turns them on the most about you is your eyes and face. Your gaze completely disarms them, making them lose their sense of control, as if you can see right through them no matter how much they try to keep their composure.
There’s also a strong attraction to your lips—they see something irresistible there, and imagine how just a smile or a single word from you could shake their world.
They’re deeply emotional but express it more physically than verbally, which is why they’re drawn to your neck and shoulders they see them as areas longing for tenderness and touch.
They also picture your body as beautifully balanced and attractive, especially your waist and the way you move your walk, your posture, the little ways you shift your body around them.
And even if they try to hide this attraction, the truth is they get the weakest when it comes to the small details like the way you use your hands to touch things.
As a tarot reader, I’m telling you I can see that to them, you’re like a secret they’re trying to keep, but your expressions, your gaze, and the way you move give everything away. What ignites their desire the most are your eyes, lips, neck, and waist.
I hope you enjoyed the reading pile one 💖
pile 2 ❤️🔥
I can see that the person on your mind feels an intense pull toward you, something they can’t really control. You awaken a kind of passion in them that feels both exciting and overwhelming. There’s this sense that when they’re around you, their world changes like they can’t go back to who they were before.
I can see they’re especially turned on by your smile and your face when it lights up. There’s something radiant and magnetic about you that makes them weak in the knees.
They’re also drawn to your chest and your stomach/torso area they see warmth and sensuality there, like a place they want to get close to.
Your legs and the way you move quickly also excite them, almost like they can’t keep up with your energy but it drives them wild.
There’s a fascination with your hands and the way you use them, especially when you’re focused or creating something it feels powerful and alluring to them.
And deep down, they feel like being close to you is transformative, so they’re drawn to the parts of you that symbolize intimacy and change like your hips and curves, which they see as hypnotic and hard to resist.
As a tarot reader, I’m telling you I can see that to them, you are fire and temptation all at once. What turns them on the most are your radiant face, your smile, your chest, your hands, your legs, and your hips all the parts of you that show both your light and your power.
I hope you enjoyed the reading pile two 💖
pile 3 👄
I can see that the person on your mind feels conflicted when it comes to you. On one hand, they want to appear stable and in control, but on the other, you shake them in ways they can’t fully handle. They feel drawn toward you, and even when they try to resist, they find themselves coming back to the thought of you again and again.
I can see that what turns them on the most about you is your hips and waist. The way you move leaves them completely distracted, like they lose their sense of balance around you.
They’re also strongly attracted to your back and shoulders they imagine touching or holding you there, as if that would give them a sense of closeness and control.
Your chest area also pulls them in, not just physically but because of the warmth and intimacy they associate with it.
With your smile and your expressions, they feel weak, like every little shift in your face draws them deeper in.
And when it comes to your legs, the way you carry yourself whether standing, sitting, or walking completely stirs their desire.
As a tarot reader, I’m telling you I can see that to them, you’re like a secret temptation they can’t hide from. What ignites their desire the most are your hips, waist, back, chest, smile, and legs.
I hope you enjoyed the reading pile three 💖
pile 4 🔥
I can see that the person on your mind feels a powerful pull toward you, something they can’t really resist. They try to act composed and controlled, but your presence awakens a desire in them that’s impossible to hide. Even when they attempt to hold back, their thoughts keep coming back to you.
I can see that what turns them on the most about you is your eyes and the way you look at them. Your gaze completely captivates them, making it impossible to look away.
They’re also strongly drawn to your lips, imagining the softness and the way they move when you speak or smile it leaves them breathless.
Your neck and shoulders hold a magnetic energy that pulls them in, as if every little movement invites them closer.
There’s also an attraction to your waist and the way your body moves, which they find irresistible and hypnotic.
And secretly, they can’t help but notice your hands, the way you touch things or move them it sparks a longing they can’t fully explain.
As a tarot reader, I’m telling you I can see that to them, you’re impossible to resist. What ignites their desire the most are your eyes, lips, neck, shoulders, waist, and hands all the little details that make them weak and completely captivated by you.
I hope you enjoyed the reading pile four 💖
This is a general tarot reading ✨ I hope you enjoyed it 💖 For a personal reading (more accurate, detailed, and tailored just for you) feel free to message me 🌸 Prices are reasonable.
Summary: The night of the gratitude banquet arrives. Your life will never be the same after it.
Warnings: insecurity and overthinking, deep introspection, reader processing every feeling ever, IC friendship dynamics, Az is in his jealousy era, reader chewing him out, a kiss, a confession and more!!
Word Count: 12.6k (happy finale!)
Part Five | Series Masterlist
✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹
The days slipped by quickly. You spent most of them in your head, avoiding social interactions except for the ones you deliberately made time for—helping Adrin pick out his clothes for the banquet and shopping for a dress with Mor and Feyre. Azriel had been busy. You hadn’t seen him.
You felt guilty for being relieved. But you were. You couldn’t handle seeing him.
It hit you last night, after Mor dropped off your dress—neatly wrapped in its protective bag—and you crawled into bed. When your gaze landed on your wrist, on the hair tie still there, everything suddenly became clear. You couldn’t run anymore. You couldn’t ignore it.
You were in love with Azriel.
There was a certain discomfort that came with realizing you had been walking through your life half-blind. Like a fog had lifted, revealing a path you had already been traveling, except now you could see it for what it was. And you wondered—how long had this been true? How long had you been this blind?
All these years of knowing Azriel, of loving him in some way—platonically, protectively, whatever it was—you had never truly seen it. But now that you did, you couldn’t unsee it. And it ached. Deeply.
Your fingers pressed absently against your sternum, rubbing small circles over the bone as you made your way down the hall. Over and over, like it might ease it. Like you could massage the feeling away.
You knew better.
It didn’t subside. If anything, it settled deeper, curling into your ribs. Lingered. Even as you reached the kitchen—and faltered.
Because you heard him.
A quiet hum, soft and unhurried, the way he always did on slow mornings when he thought no one was listening. And his shadows—they slipped past the doorframe, curling like wisps of ink, reaching. They knew you were there. They always did.
You thought about leaving.
But before you could turn, the humming stopped. A beat of silence. Then—
“Y/n?”
You exhaled sharply, bracing yourself before stepping inside.
Azriel was already watching you, his expression unreadable for a moment before it shifted into something softer. Familiar.
“Good morning,” you murmured.
He smiled—small, easy, like nothing between you had changed. Like your world hadn’t tilted on its axis.
He lifted a cup in offering. “Tea?”
You accepted it with a quiet thanks, leaning against the counter as Azriel took a seat, his own cup cradled loosely between his fingers.
Silences like this weren’t unusual. They were often comfortable—the kind of quiet that settled when you were both still waking up and bracing for the day ahead. But this morning, it was different.
Azriel glanced at you. “You okay?”
You were almost tempted to laugh at the question, but you suppressed it.
You nodded, exhaling. “Yeah. Just… lots on my mind.”
He hummed in understanding. His gaze had yet to leave yours.
A beat passed. Another. You shifted your weight against the counter, eyes flicking down to your cup. “You ever feel like you have too many thoughts, and it’s just… disorienting?”
“Yeah,” he said quietly. “I know exactly what you mean.”
Another stretch of silence. It wasn’t quite tense, but it wasn’t easy, either. Then, after a moment, he cleared his throat. “So, tonight…” He hesitated. “I was wondering if maybe you’d want to get something beforehand. I’m assuming the finger food will be too extravagant for us, like usual.”
You hesitated. His words were fumbling a little, but you didn’t think too much about it. You had been overthinking everything lately.
“I would, but I’m actually bringing someone tonight,” you said. “I’ll be waiting for him.”
Azriel stilled. “Oh.” His head tilted slightly. “You’re bringing a date?”
“It’s not exactly a date. I just asked him to come with me.”
Azriel nodded slowly. “Who?”
“Adrin. I invited him the other day.”
“Adrin,” he repeated, like he was testing the name on his tongue. “Madja’s apprentice?”
"That's the one."
You could practically see the wheels turning in his head, but he said nothing at first, just watched you, his shadows flickering across the floor like they knew something you didn’t.
He studied you like he was waiting for something more. When nothing came, he frowned, his voice turning cautious. “And he’s coming with you… tonight?”
“Yeah,” you replied, “I thought it’d be nice. He’s helped us before. He's nice.”
Azriel didn’t say anything, but you saw it—in the way his breath hitched, in the flicker of hesitation in his eyes. He had something to say.
You exhaled sharply. “Okay. What is it?”
His gaze shifted, like he was considering denying it.
“Hm?” he hummed, feigning innocence. “Nothing.”
You leveled him with a look. “Az.” A beat. “Just spit it out, yeah?”
A frown tugged at the corner of his mouth. “I don’t know. It just feels... strange, don’t you think? I mean, inviting him to something like this?”
You bristled at the words, at the insinuation that you needed a reason to bring someone. Needed to justify it to him.
“Az, it’s just a regular banquet, and I wanted to invite someone. That’s not a crime.”
“I didn’t say it was.”
"Then what is this judgmental look you have?" Your voice came out more defensive than you meant. “I’ve known him for a while. It’s not like he’s a stranger.”
“Yeah, but it’s not like it’s just some casual get-together, either.”
You hated that this conversation made you wish for something else. Made you wish it was a date. A real one. That tonight was light and exciting—the kind of night that made you blush, that made you feel wanted. The kind of night that made you feel like someone falling in love, not someone realizing they already had. So deeply, so entirely unreciprocated that you hadn’t even noticed it had happened.
“I’m not making some huge statement by inviting him. It’s just a banquet.” You swallowed, forcing the irritation down. “A banquet to show appreciation for those who help us. I thought it’d be nice. He’s helped us before, you know that.”
You thought back to what Azriel had said about not wanting to be the last one standing, like love, companionship, was a prize to win before someone else did. A race. And maybe, mentioning you were bringing someone made him defensive, made him feel like he needed to be looking again. The thought made something bitter rise in you. Something akin to embarrassment.
Azriel didn’t reply right away. When he finally spoke, there was a resignation in his voice. "Right. I do know that."
You couldn’t find the right words to reply, so you settled for silence once more. You finished your tea, rinsed out the cup, and set it in the sink. You felt his eyes on you as you turned and told him, “I think, for now, maybe we should stay out of each other’s personal lives. Not comment on any romantic prospects.”
It sounded like a good idea—like a boundary you could hold, something to protect yourself.
But Azriel’s expression flickered, a discomfort settling across his face. “So Adrin is a romantic prospect?”
You huffed, shaking your head. “Well, that's not–that’s not the point.” You pressed your fingers to your temples, willing away the irritation clawing at you. Then you dropped your hand, looking at him again. “Way to pick and choose what you hear, by the way.”
"I'm just clarifying."
"Look. I know I was right about Selene. But I think we have very different approaches to our personal lives.”
“I don’t think that’s true.”
You tilted your head slightly, studying him. "Well, I do. It might be better for us to keep our opinions to ourselves."
Azriel blinked. Then, quietly—“I don't want you to keep your opinions to yourself.”
Your breath caught.
His voice was careful, his fingers curling slightly around his cup. “Your opinion is the most important thing to me.”
And then your chest tightened. Azriel couldn’t say things like that to you.
The words slipped out before you could stop them. “Maybe it shouldn’t be.”
Silence.
Azriel’s grip tightened around his cup.
You swallowed. “I should go.”
And with Azriel’s eyes still following your every movement, you left— the ache in your chest even deeper than before.
✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹
The entrance to the banquet hall was a grand display of velvet-draped archways and soft golden faelight. You spotted Adrin just beyond the doors, hands tucked neatly behind his back, his casual, loose, linen clothes traded for deep navy formalwear. He looked up as you approached, a large, bright smile forming.
"You clean up well," you teased, stopping beside him. "I could’ve picked you up from your apartment. Like a proper date."
Adrin huffed a quiet laugh. "And risk making the citizens of Velaris burn with jealousy over how we look together? I’d never be so cruel."
You rolled your eyes and laughed. The lightness of the sound surprised you. "I suppose we do look rather stunning."
His gaze lingered for a moment before he said, softer, "You do. That dress is quite beautiful."
You barely resisted the urge to fidget, instead smoothing your hand over the fabric.
Mor and Feyre had helped you get ready at the river house, the way they always did before events like these. The three of you, despite everything—despite mates, despite growing older, despite how much life had changed—still made time for it. A tradition you refused to let go of. It was something sacred, in a way. The girlhood none of you had ever really gotten to experience, stolen by war or circumstance.
You suspected Mor had noticed you were in your head more than usual, that something about tonight felt different. She kept checking in, little glances through the mirror, hesitation when you’d asked her to help pin your hair up. Her fingers had lingered as she tucked the final strands into place, ensuring the hairpiece she used hid the infamous hair tie beneath it. She hadn’t asked, but you could feel the question lingering in the way she looked at you.
“Mor chose it for me,” you said, offering Adrin a playful curtsy. "I’ll let her know her taste is still undefeated."
A few more guests drifted past.
"This home is beautiful," Adrin murmured, his gaze sweeping over the high ceilings and intricate paintings covering the marble walls— all painted by Feyre herself. "I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. Your High Lord and High Lady have elegant tastes. I must admit, I feel slightly out of place."
"It’s just another event," you said lightly. "Don’t let the elegance scare you. Most of the guests already know you, anyway. The ones that don’t will have the pleasure tonight. Nothing to stress about."
Adrin exhaled, adjusting the cuff of his sleeve. "I wouldn’t say I’m stressed. Out of practice seems more fitting. I haven’t been to many events like this."
"Oh? Does Thesan not throw many?"
He tilted his head. "Some. But even then, I wouldn’t attend. Not everyone is as close to their High Lord as you."
You blinked. "I never thought of it like that."
Adrin smiled faintly. "It’s not a bad thing. It’s quite beautiful, really. It humanizes Rhysand—far more than the stories some might hear about Night."
For you, Rhysand had never been just High Lord—he was Rhys, the friend who stole the last pastry off your plate just to be an ass, who gave the best advice when you needed it most, who once drunkenly tried to shove more marshmallows into his mouth than Cassian. You knew he was powerful. Knew that the weight of his title was immense. But it was easy to forget. Easy to take for granted just how rare it was to have a ruler who felt like family. A ruler who was family.
“I appreciate your open mind. It’s not easy for many people to see past Rhys’s past.”
Adrin’s eyes softened. “I can see the heart beneath the power.”
You glanced around the hall, watching as laughter and conversation rippled through the guests. When you turned back, you caught Adrin scanning the crowd as well. You took the spare moment to examine him further.
Adrin had the kind of beauty that belonged to the quiet hush of morning. His golden-brown skin carried a softness—not kissed by the sun, but by first light, the gentle warmth before the world fully woke. Vitiligo traced around his right eye, trailing down his cheek, leaving a streak of white in his dark curls. Even his eyelashes and brow were dusted pale. There was nothing severe about him, nothing unreadable.
You wondered how many admirers he must have. How many people in the streets of your city turned to gawk when he passed. How many hearts he’d left broken when he left his home and moved to Velaris.
“I’ve been meaning to ask you,” you said, drawing his attention back to you. When his warm eyes met yours, you continued. “What made you come here? From Dawn?"
He titled his head, taking a moment to collect his thoughts.
"When I heard that Night and Dawn were fostering more exchanges—trade, apprenticeships—I jumped at the chance," Adrin said. "It seemed perfect. It’s been an honor to train under Madja, to learn from one of the most talented healers of all Fae alike." He shot you a look. "I have you to thank for that opportunity."
You raised a brow. "Me?"
"I heard it was your diplomacy that strengthened those relations between our courts," he said. "That made Velaris known for the oasis of opportunity it now is, rather than the secret gem of Night it once was."
You hummed, a smile pulling at your lips. Even now, after all these years, it still felt nice—validating—to be acknowledged for your work. For the vision you had continually strived to achieve for your court, for Prythian.
"Well then," you mused, "you’re welcome."
It was fascinating, really—how simple his answer had been. That he had made the choice to leave home with such certainty. You didn’t think you could ever do the same.
"Do you miss the Dawn court?"
Adrin exhaled, thoughtful. "Yes, but not how you might think. I rather love change." He glanced at you, curiosity flickering in his expression now. "Do you?"
"What—miss Dawn?"
He laughed. "No. Do you like change?"
The answer should have been easy. You’d never been afraid of new things—your entire life had been built on pushing forward, on carving out space where there was none. But lately, change felt like something different. Like something looming. Like something you weren’t sure you wanted.
You fought the urge to glance over your shoulder, to scan the crowd for a familiar figure wreathed in shadows. You hadn’t seen him since this morning.
"No, actually," you admitted. "I despise it. I know it’s necessary for growth, but… I like things the way they are. I don’t think I’d want to leave my court. Not for long."
Adrin nodded. "With a life like this, I’m sure I wouldn’t either."
You let the words settle between you for a moment before exhaling. "Come on. Let me introduce you around."
Adrin extended an arm, eyes gleaming with humor. "Lead the way, shepherd of change. I am your sheep for the night."
You chuckled, looping your arm through his as you stepped into the light.
✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹
Adrin had slipped easily into conversation with Cassian and Nesta, asking them about their mating ceremony with a curiosity so good-natured even Nesta had warmed to him. You’d been content just standing there, watching as he made the connections you’d hoped he would.
When he left to get you both drinks, you lingered, half-listening to Cassian’s exaggerated retelling of something Nesta had told him from a recent book of hers. Your eyes drifted across the scene—the candlelit tables, the swirling gowns, the food laid out in delicate arrangements that looked more like art than a meal. Unlike most elaborate events Rhysand and Feyre threw, tonight had hors d'oeuvres that actually appealed to you. You made a mental note to try some of the rosemary and honey tartlets once your stomach felt less uneasy.
You let your gaze drift once more, scanning the crowd without much thought—until you saw him.
Azriel.
For a second, everything else faded. The music, the conversation, the clinking of glasses. The world narrowed to the space between you and him.
He looked good—unfairly so. He’d cleaned up well, the sharp lines of his suit making him look effortlessly put together, dark hair styled just enough to look like he hadn’t tried at all.
If Adrin had been handsome in a way that was warm, inviting, then Azriel was beautiful in a way that stole the breath from your lungs. It was gut-wrenching, disarming, the kind of beauty that felt borderline sacred.
And gods, the way he was looking at you. Not just looking. Watching.
Your stomach flipped, something deep inside you tightening painfully. The air between you stretched thin. Humming. Waiting. It made your fingers twitch at your sides, made your feet shift like they might carry you forward without your permission.
And yet, somehow, you couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think—
“Here you are.”
The moment shattered. You blinked, the noise of the banquet rushing back in as Adrin reappeared at your side, pressing a glass of champagne into your hand. You took it with an appreciative smile, downing half of it in one go and ignoring the way your fingers trembled around the delicate flute.
Adrin turned back to Nesta, launching into another carefully respectful question, something about her Valkyrie training, but you barely heard it.
Not until Adrin nudged you, drawing you back. “Should I be concerned?” he murmured.
You blinked. “About?”
“That the Shadowsinger is currently glaring at me like he wants me dead. Have I offended him?”
Confused, you followed his gaze—
Azriel was still watching. Only now, the look was different. The sharpness of it, the intensity—it was aimed at Adrin.
A full glare.
You barely swallowed down the sound of disbelief that threatened to escape. What the hell was his problem?
Heat rose to your face. You forced yourself to breathe, to roll your shoulders back. “It’s nothing,” you muttered, waving it off. “Don’t worry about it.”
But when you turned back, Nesta was looking at you. A direct, knowing look. You glanced back at Azriel, still staring, then back at her. She knew.
You gently brushed your champagne flute back into Adrin’s hands. “Excuse me for a minute?”
"Of course," Adrin said easily, though concern flickered in his warm gaze. Nesta took the opportunity to step in, calling over Gwyn—a plan you’d both briefly gone over before the night began.
"Adrin," she said, "let me introduce you to my friend and fellow Valkyrie."
Adrin’s voice drifted after you as you stepped away.
“Oh, by the Mother, is that an Invoking Stone?” His breath caught, reverent. “Beautiful—I’ve only ever read about them.”
You didn’t need to turn to know Gwyn was smiling, could already picture the soft pink dusting her cheeks. But the moment barely registered, drowned out by the weight of the gaze still burning into you.
You had more pressing matters.
You didn’t spare Azriel a glance before grabbing his forearm and dragging him into the nearest empty room.
✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹
Azriel barely moved as you pulled him in, letting you manhandle him like a bag of heavy rocks. His brows had only just begun to furrow when you spun on him, still gripping his wrist. His skin was warm beneath your fingers, the corded muscles of his forearm shifting under your grip—but you refused to let that distract you.
Not now.
It took you half a second to realize where you had dragged him. A library. A new one, judging by the scent of fresh wood and the pristine bookshelves lining the walls. You hadn’t even known this room existed. Your gaze flicked over the tall windows, the deep blue rug, the shelves still waiting to be filled. You hadn’t explored the house since the construction finished, too preoccupied with—
No. Focus.
You turned back to Azriel, finally letting go of his wrist. His wings twitched slightly, and his shadows curled at his feet like smoke, their edges sharper than usual.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” you demanded, crossing your arms.
Azriel blinked, his head tilting slightly. “What?”
“You know exactly what I’m talking about.”
“No,” he said flatly. “Or else I wouldn’t have asked.”
A heavy breath caught in your throat as the words lodged themselves somewhere between your teeth and the pit of your stomach. Azriel’s voice was cool and even. It only made you angrier.
“Are you serious right now?”
His hazel eyes studied you. A flicker of something passed through them, quick as a shadow in candlelight, but then it was gone.
Fine.
You squared your shoulders. “I’ll spell it out. Why are you glaring at Adrin like that?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, you do.”
“I wasn’t glaring.”
You forced a breath out of your chest—through your nose, just to keep yourself from losing it. A sharp, humorless laugh left you. “If that wasn’t a glare, I’d hate to see what you classify as one.”
His expression didn’t change, but his wings tucked in a little tighter, hands flexing at his sides. You noted that his shadows had stilled, barely a ripple in the air now. They’d decided to be a quiet, unassuming audience, it seemed.
“I have known you long enough to recognize a glare, Azriel. Stop it.”
“I’m not doing anything.”
You huffed, your fingers twitching at your sides. “I don’t know what the hell your problem is, but you need to fix it. Now.”
Azriel’s jaw ticked, and for the first time, his expression hardened. He remained silent.
“If this is about me bringing someone and you being here alone, then you need to get over it,” you said.
“That’s not it.”
“Then what is it?”
Silence once more.
His shadows stirred again, coiling around his boots, floating across the ground beneath you two. You could see the muscle in his jaw tightening, but he didn’t speak.
You sighed, pressing your fingers to your temples before meeting his gaze again. “Okay, well, whatever it is, I need you to find the reason, and I need you to swallow it. And if you can’t swallow it, I need you to shove it so far up your ass that you’re too focused on the discomfort to glare at him like that again.”
His lips parted slightly, like he wanted to respond, but nothing came out. His eyes flickered, scanning your face. Then they glazed over, as if he’d been pulled deeper into his own mind.
It didn’t stop you from continuing.
“Adrin is a guest here,” you went on, voice firm. “I invited him. He is kind, he is nice, and he hasn't done anything to you. In fact, he has helped you. So do not treat him like shit.” You stepped closer, tilting your head. “You haven’t even bothered to talk to him. The least you can do is not look at him like you’re imagining his head on a spike.”
Azriel’s gaze met yours, his voice low as he finally spoke, “I just think it’s rude that your date isn’t paying attention to you. He’s had his eyes on Cassian more than you tonight.”
You blinked, disbelief tightening your chest. “What?”
“You heard me.”
You scoffed. “Adrin has been perfectly attentive and respectful. What, did you expect him to have his hands all over me? What the hell is wrong with you?”
Azriel didn’t respond, but his shadows gained speed as they curled closer to his boots—like they were restless now, waiting for an order.
“This event is supposed to be about harmony,” you continued, “You’re embarrassing this court. You’re embarrassing me.”
That seemed to land. His lips pressed into a thin line, and something flickered in his expression—something raw, something almost like guilt.
“Do not give me a reason to be mad at you,” you added, voice low. “Because I will take it. You have no idea.”
A long beat of silence. Then—
“…Alright,” Az muttered. “Fine. I’m sorry. That was not my intention.”
The apology came so easily. You narrowed your eyes, studying him. He was still too quiet. But for now, you’d take it.
“Good. So, we go out there, and if you interact with him at all, you need to be pleasant. Maybe even smile.” You tilted your head. “And if you can’t do that, at least fix your face.”
Azriel blinked, brow twitching. “My face?”
“Yes. The one you’re currently wearing. You look like I just asked you to kill yourself.”
“I’m not wearing a face,” he said dryly.
“Yes, you are.”
“This is just my face. I don’t have many faces.”
“Well, find a new one.”
The sharpness faded from his eyes and the frustration in your chest loosened slightly, giving way to something else—exhaustion, maybe.
“Okay, okay,” he said after a moment. “Fine.”
You nodded once, steadying yourself before turning for the door.
Right before you stepped out, you glanced over your shoulder. “Fix the face.”
Azriel exhaled through his nose, lifting his hands in mock surrender. “Consider it fixed.”
Then, he gave you a large grin—so obviously forced it made you cringe.
You rolled your eyes. “That is not what I meant.”
Still, you smiled despite yourself. A little amused, a little tired. And for a brief moment, before you turned away, you swore you saw a real smile flicker across his face, too. Soft and fleeting. It made your heart skip.
Before it could beat faster, you left.
✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹
Azriel found you again an hour later.
You sensed him before you saw him—the shift in the air, the way the room seemed to settle in his presence. Then his shadows, curling toward you before slithering back, as if unsure if they were welcome.
You weren’t even sure why you’d walked away from Adrin and your friends. Maybe you needed space. Maybe you needed to breathe. It wasn’t until you stepped back—from the conversation, from the laughter, from the gentle touches shared between lovers—that you realized.
This was the first time you’d noticed. The first time it had stung.
How alone you were.
You didn’t look as Azriel approached. Instead, you fixated on the guests around you, on their easy smiles and warm hands clasped together. It would hurt to look at him. You already knew.
And yet, you felt him watching. Felt the heat of him beside you.
It was sad. All of it.
You’d assumed falling for your best friend would be a gift. Imagined it would be easy, uncomplicated—a love that came with a quiet understanding, someone who knew you better than you knew yourself. It sounded simple enough. You would know, and they would know, and that would be it. The kind of love that people dreamed of, that stories were made of.
It was funny, in a painfully poetic way, how reality differed from daydreams. You almost wanted to revisit every love story you’d ever read, to pick them apart, to see where they’d lied—where they’d dared to be hopeful.
A shadow curled at your wrist before slinking away.
"Do you have another complaint for me?" you murmured, just loud enough for Azriel to hear over the music. “Maybe feeling bothered that Adrin isn’t slobbering at my feet like a hound desperate for food?”
Az huffed a quiet breath. "No."
Your lips pressed together. You wanted to hold on to the annoyance, to the way he’d been needling at you all evening, but the weight of the room was different now.
Azriel must have known it too, because after a pause, he shifted slightly, extending a hand toward you. "Dance with me?"
Your gaze flicked to his outstretched hand, then back to his face. His expression was carefully neutral, but his wings… His wings were tucked in tight, the only real tell of his discomfort. You knew he didn’t love events like these. The crowds, the attention. He wore it well—carried himself like he belonged, like nothing touched him—but you knew better.
And that’s why, despite everything, you sighed, placing your hand in his.
His shadows stirred again, wrapping briefly around your wrist before dissipating. Pleased with your choice.
"Your perfect date seems to be enjoying himself."
You felt it again—that ache in your chest.
Your eyes flicked over Azriel's shoulder, landing on Adrin. He was still standing alongside Gwyn, but the two had been joined by Lucien and Elain as well. Adrin was laughing at something Lucien was saying. He looked… comfortable. Bright. Perfect.
Perfect in the way that should have made your heart skip, that should have made you feel something when he smiled. But you felt… nothing. Just awareness, a passing observation. And then your gaze drifted back to Azriel, to the sharp lines of his face, the way the faelight caught in his eyes. Made something in them simmer.
"Not perfect," you murmured.
You didn’t like perfection. It was too neat, too curated—like something fragile on display, meant to be admired but never touched. It didn’t crack, didn’t bleed. And you didn’t want that. You never had.
"I wouldn’t want perfect anyway," you added, glancing briefly at Adrin and then back to Azriel. "Perfect isn't real."
Azriel said nothing at first, but his grip on your hand tightened briefly. You wondered if he understood.
His other hand rested against your waist as he led you through the steps. You felt his touch like a burning mark, your heart beating faster at the way he stroked his thumb along the fabric of your dress. The tension from earlier still lingered between you—thin, stretched taut. You wondered if he still wanted to bring up Adrin once more. But instead, Azriel said, "I didn’t get to tell you earlier, with you scolding me and all."
You rolled your eyes, casting your gaze aside.
"Which was very warranted," Azriel added, the corner of his mouth twitching as he leaned in further. "But, you are… breathtaking."
Your eyes snapped back to his. The way he said it—quiet, certain, like it was fact, undeniable and absolute—made something shift beneath your ribs. You forced yourself to keep breathing, to move past the moment before it could settle too deeply.
"Thank you. Mor helped me pick the dress."
Azriel guided you into a spin, and when you turned back to face him, he said, "I wasn’t referring to your dress."
His hand found yours, fingers lacing through before you could think too much about it. It was an easy thing, effortless—like it was second nature to him. "I was referring to the person wearing it."
Your pulse stuttered. How could anyone else compare to this? How were you ever going to find someone who could make you feel like this?
The thought unsettled you. Maybe because it was the first time you let yourself acknowledge it. Maybe because you were starting to think he felt it too.
Because you knew Azriel. Knew him well enough to sense the shift—not just in yourself, but in him. There was something new in the way he watched you, something careful, deliberate. At first, you thought it was guilt, that he was still making up for the way he hurt you. But it was more than that. The way he looked at you now—really looked at you—it made you wonder if this realization had struck him too.
But you had seen him with Mor. With Elain. With Gwyn. You had seen the way he watched them, the way he softened, the way he held himself differently in their presence. And never—not once—had he looked at you like that.
So maybe this feeling was yours alone. Something to swallow like a bitter tonic, a remedy that only worsened the sickness.
The dance was slowing. You saw it in the way couples began to separate, the way the musicians readied to shift into something new. You and Azriel stilled, as if time itself was reluctant to move on.
His eyes traced over your face. "It’s different," he murmured. "Seeing your entire face like this."
Your brows furrowed slightly, and his lips twitched, like he knew you didn’t fully understand. Then his free hand lifted—hesitating for just a second—before his fingers brushed lightly against the side of your face, just above your ear, where your hair had been pinned back.
"You usually let it fall forward," he said. "I’m used to you hiding behind it."
You didn’t know what to say to that. You didn’t know what to do with the way he was looking at you. You wondered if he knew how much this pained you.
And when the music came to an end, you all but scrambled away from him, seeking out Adrin again.
Adrin told you about everything he’d learned from Lucien—the invitation the Vanserra had extended to explore the Day Court. Autumn too, if Adrin wished. You tried to listen. Tried to pay attention. To ignore the burning gaze of Azriel, to pretend you hadn’t seen the way his expression faltered when you pulled away.
You stayed by Adrin’s side all night, introducing him to more court members. Always finding your way back to Cassian, Nesta, and Gwyn. But no matter how much space you put between you and Azriel, you felt him.
Always, you felt him.
✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹
The banquet had begun to settle into its last echoes of laughter and music, guests beginning their slow trickle home.You stood with Adrin near the entrance, the golden glow of the banquet spilling onto the front gardens.
He turned to you, his expression softened in the dim light. “Thank you,” he murmured, and before you could ask for what, he leaned in, pressing a warm, fleeting kiss to your cheek. When he pulled back, there was something earnest in his gaze. “For sharing the night with a friend. For showing me all these connections I might not have made on my own.”
You smiled, something fond curling in your chest. “You would’ve made them eventually.”
“Maybe. But I like the way it happened tonight.”
“Thank you for keeping me company,” you told him. “You don’t know how much I needed it.”
With one last smile, he turned and disappeared down the path, his silhouette vanishing into the dark.
You exhaled, rolling your shoulders before making your way back inside. The warmth hit you immediately—the lingering energy of the night still alive in the laughter, the flickering faelights, the press of familiar faces.
Your family.
Rhys stood at the center of it, Nyx in his arms, tossing him into the air. The babe let out a shriek of joy, his chubby hands clapping together as he was caught again with ease.
“Bachelor of the evening,” Cassian declared, raising a half-empty glass. “In all his two feet and six inch glory.”
Nyx, unaware of the meaning but basking in the attention, beamed a chubby smile, curling into his father’s chest.
You watched them, something warm and tight settling in your chest, even as Cassian snorted at his own words, making a joke about another six inch glory. But still—still—there was something else stirring within you. That restlessness in your bones. That all-too-familiar, infamous ache.
Before you could think twice, you turned, feet carrying you swiftly down the halls, toward the back of the manor.
The stone steps were cool beneath you as you descended into the garden. You exhaled, lowering yourself onto the edge of a stair, forearms braced against your knees. The air was cooler here, quieter, the sky stretched wide above you—clear and endless.
Behind you, the door creaked open. Light footsteps. Familiar.
Mor lowered herself onto the step beside you, the silk of her dress brushing against your arm. She didn’t say anything at first, just settled into the silence with you.
Then, gently, “You okay?”
Your thoughts were loud, pressing in from every angle, twisting over themselves until they became nothing but static. You let out a laugh, dry and brittle. “My head physically hurts from how much I’ve been thinking.”
Mor nodded, tilting her head back to look at the sky. “And have you come to any conclusions?”
“I might not be as patient as I once thought.”
Mor laughed, the sound carried off by the night breeze. “What makes you say that?”
You turned to her, lips pressing together before you admitted, “I was tempted to throttle Az in front of everyone.”
Mor’s lips quirked up, the faint remnants of her red lipstick catching the glow of the faelights through the windows. You were sure there were countless champagne flutes and wine glasses that now bore the mark of her lips, a kiss print of her perfect lipstick. There was something sweet about how the color was faded now. Years ago, it would still be perfect—because years ago, Mor would’ve excused herself to touch up her makeup almost every half hour. She didn’t do that anymore. These days, Emerie held her attention, made her forget anything other than the night unfolding around her.
“Not interested in adding to your growing reputation as a public street fighter?” Mor teased. “I would’ve helped you drag him to the street.”
You shot her a scowl. “Not funny,” you muttered. Then, hesitantly, “Do people really think that?”
She snorted, shaking her head. “No. I’m messing with you. But imagine how fun that would be.”
“We have different definitions of fun.”
“And that’s what makes us such great friends.”
Mor leaned in, looping her arm through yours, pressing it to her chest as she rested her head on your shoulder. The cool metal of her jewelry sent a shiver through you. You resisted the urge to frown at the large, chunky bracelet on her wrist—the one she’d taken from Selene. You’d already rolled your eyes at it earlier in the night, warning her it was probably cursed. She had only shrugged and said that nothing related to her could be bad luck—and that it matched her gown perfectly. She wasn’t wrong. It did.
You hummed, amused, and rested your head against hers.
“So what did Az do?” she asked after a moment.
“I don’t know what got into him. He was so rude tonight.”
“To you?”
“To Adrin,” you clarified, huffing. “Gods, it infuriated me. I had to scold him like some child before I lost my own mind.”
Mor lifted her head slightly. “Is that where you pulled him off to?”
You turned just enough to meet her gaze. “You saw that?”
She sat up, stretching her legs out in front of her. “I’m very observant.”
“Nosy is the word I’d use.”
Mor nudged you with a laugh. Then she shifted, pulling her arm away as she readjusted her position. “Do you know why it bothered you so much?”
Your brows knit together. “It was rude,” you deadpanned. “Adrin was a guest. Az had no right acting like some pompous guard dog.”
Mor nodded solemnly. “Yeah. Maybe we need to get him retrained.”
Despite yourself, you smiled, a quick image flashing in your mind of Azriel’s unimpressed face whenever one of you made a dog joke at his expense. Even the ones about his loyalty. Not that you could blame him—you probably wouldn’t appreciate the comparison either.
“It was also a bit offensive that Az paid more attention to me tonight than he has for months,” you admitted. “Not even to me. To Adrin. I don’t know why that bothered me so much, aside from it being bad manners.”
Mor gave you a knowing look. “Can I ask you something? But you have to promise you won’t get mad.”
You narrowed your eyes. “When you say stuff like that, I don’t want to promise anything.”
She pouted slightly. “Please.”
You sighed, turning to face her more fully. The new position left you exposed to the chill, no longer shielded by your hunched posture. Your knees brushed, the fabric of your dress rustling against hers. “Fine. Tell me.”
Mor hesitated, studying you carefully. Then, softly, “Do you think it bothers you because you want him to pay attention to you this much… normally? And not just when you bring a date?”
You dropped your gaze to your lap, to your fidgeting fingers. “I mean, maybe. Yeah.”
Mor craned her neck, trying to meet your averted gaze. “Maybe because you have feelings for him?”
Your head snapped up so fast you were surprised you didn’t break something. Though, based on the sharp pull in your neck, you might have strained a muscle.
“What?”
The sympathetic look Mor offered you was enough to draw the ache in your chest back to full strength.
“Am I wrong?”
You could’ve lied. Could’ve shaken your head, laughed it off, brushed past it like it was nothing. And maybe Mor would’ve let you. Not because she let things go easily, but because she knew you—knew when to push and when to step back.
But you didn’t lie.
Because the weight of it, the truth of it, had been pressing down on you for too long.
“Maybe,” you admitted quietly.
The words settled over you like a breaking wave. The minute they were out in the open, everything rushed back—every ache, every stolen glance, every frustration and lingering sadness. The realization of it felt like a stone lodged behind your ribs, pressing into you from the inside. Your throat burned. Your eyes stung.
You swallowed hard, but it did nothing to push down the lump forming there.
Then your lips quivered. And that was enough to make you break.
You turned away, hands pressing against your face as a shaky breath left you.
“Gods, Mor,” you mumbled, voice unsteady. “I feel so dramatic. I-I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“Oh, honey.” She placed a hand on your shoulder, gently squeezing to call your attention back to her. When you met her eyes, something flickered across her features. “Are you crying?”
“Not yet,” you sniffed.
She blinked. Once, twice. Then said, “Give me a minute, okay? I’ll be right back. And then I want you to tell me everything.”
You didn’t question it, just nodded as she disappeared inside.
When she returned, her presence was quieter. She sank beside you, draping a shawl over your shoulders—one that matched the color of her dress. Her shawl. And on her own form, she wore one in deep purple. Emerie’s, you assumed. You hadn’t seen her wear it before.
You noticed, too, that Mor’s jewelry was gone. The rings, the collection of bracelets. She tended to do that when she was overstimulated by the sounds—when the weight of metal felt unbearable against her skin.
You tipped your head back, staring at the sky. No more tears fell, but they lingered, heavy behind your eyes. The lump in your throat was smaller now. Bearable. You swallowed against it, against everything that wanted to rise with it.
“I was content,” you said finally. You inhaled deeply, swore you heard your ribs rattle with the effort, and turned to look at Mor. “With being single. With waiting for whatever was supposed to happen. I never thought I’d be the last one standing, but I didn’t mind. It never felt like something was missing.”
Mor’s brown eyes scanned your face, a small crease forming between her brows. “And now?”
Now.
Now, you wondered if you had never felt that ache because you had been loved so deeply by people like Azriel. Loved in a way that had made you think—foolishly, blindly—that it was enough. That it would always be enough.
But the words tangled in your throat before you could voice them. Your mind was funny like that sometimes—so many thoughts, so fast, so loud, and yet, when you reached for them, they recoiled. Shy. Timid. As if they, too, were embarrassed by their own existence.
“Now, I feel like something was stolen from me.”
Mor blinked. “What do you mean?”
“I always thought…” You paused, digging through your mind, clawing for the right words. “I thought love would feel different. That I would know when it happened. That it would be this big, overwhelming thing—fireworks, explosions, something cinematic.” You shook your head. “But with Azriel, it never felt like that. It felt… calm.” Your voice softened. “Like home.”
Mor’s expression gentled, but she didn’t speak. Not yet. And you were grateful for it, because now the words were spilling out, untamed and raw.
“And I hate that I didn’t get to figure that out on my own,” you admitted, your voice cracking with the confession. “That Selene and this ridiculous situation forced me to see it before I was ready. I didn’t get to sit across from him at breakfast, watching him drink his tea, and realize—slowly, comfortably—that this could be the rest of my life.” You swallowed hard. “Instead, it feels like everyone else saw it before I did. Like my feelings aren’t even my own. I feel… embarrassed.”
Mor’s brows knit together, and she reached for your hand. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about. You know that, right?”
You let out a humorless laugh. “Doesn’t matter. It feels that way.”
And maybe that was the worst part. That something so personal, so yours, had been made into something for everyone else to witness. That, maybe, they had already formed their own conclusions.
“I’ve never really dated.” The words felt foreign, like they didn’t belong in this conversation. But they did. “Not really. I never searched for it, never felt like I needed to.”
Mor traced her thumb in slow circles against your knuckles.
“I thought it was because I was happy. Because I was fulfilled, platonically. That I never ached for a mate or a partner because I was already surrounded by love. But now—” Your throat tightened. “Now, I wonder if it was just because of him. If I loved Azriel this whole time and never noticed. If my heart already knew there was nowhere else to look.”
Mor’s grip on your hand tightened.
“But he looked,” you continued, barely above a whisper. “Azriel has looked.” You swallowed hard. “Gods, Mor—he even looked to you.”
Mor’s lips parted slightly, guilt flickering in her expression before she caught herself. “That was—”
“I know,” you cut in. “It’s not about that. It’s not about you. It’s just—” You exhaled sharply, rubbing your temple. “I’ve never been this aware of myself before. My shortcomings. My inexperience. I’ve never thought about any of it because I never had to.”
But now, every interaction with Azriel felt different. Now, every glance, every touch, every conversation—changed.
And gods, maybe, just maybe, people would think Selene was right.
Maybe they would think you had pushed Azriel away from her because you were jealous, because you had always wanted him for yourself.
You looked at Mor. “I didn’t talk to Az about Selene because I was jealous. I swear, Mor. It wasn’t like that.”
Mor shushed you. “I know.”
“But what if he doesn’t? What if everyone—”
“No one else matters.”
Mor’s gaze softened. She brought her free hand to your bicep, her palm warm as she ran it gently down your skin. The cool night air clung to you, but beneath it, you still burned. From your thoughts, from your grief, from the overwhelming realization that had come too soon.
“Y/n,” she said after a moment. “Do you truly think Az doesn’t feel the same way?”
“Yes,” you said with certainty. But after the words left your mouth, they felt hollow. You bit the inside of your cheek. “And even if he did, I’m not sure that would help me.”
“What do you mean?”
You stiffened. Loving Azriel was not the same as loving anyone else. Loving him was easy, yes—but the way Azriel romantically loved was sickening. It was obsessive, gluttonous.
You were afraid of what it might mean to be on the receiving end of it.
Because Azriel had always glorified the ones he loved, turned them into something untouchable, something divine. It was the kind of love that replaced religion. And you—you—were not divine. You were not flawless. And that alone made you doubt yourself.
Azriel had seen your faults. The way you held grudges, the way you sometimes bit down your emotions until they cut into you, the way you weren’t always kind. In a friend, those things were forgivable. But in a lover?
Flaws in a lover could be a sin for Az.
And you didn't think you could survive it—the moment he realized you weren’t something worth worshiping.
Better, then, to never let him try.
You decided not to answer Mor’s question— not properly at least. Instead, you shrugged, turning your gaze back to the night before you, to the calm gardens and the skies that illuminated them.
“I just do.”
Mor hummed. She understood that the conversation was over. You were tired. And there was nothing she could say that you hadn’t already dissected a thousand times in your mind. So she pulled you closer, and you let her, resting your head against the crook of her shoulder.
The door creaked open behind you. You didn’t acknowledge it, but you felt Mor shift, felt her hair brush your cheek as she turned to greet the new addition to your self-pity circle.
And then you felt another familiar presence. The scent of night-chilled wind, sea, and citrus, the familiar shift in power—a presence heavier than Azriel’s, but just as consuming. Even more at times.
Rhys settled beside you with a groan, joints creaking as he got comfortable.
It made you smile, just a little. Old man.
“I was wondering where you two went off to,” he said. “What are you doing out here?”
You let out a small sound—something noncommittal, something that didn’t quite fill the silence. “Oh, you know. Contemplating every single sense of existential dread.” You gestured vaguely. “Talking about the weather.”
Rhys lifted a brow. You paused, sparing him a quick glance. “It’s nice weather.”
He made a sound—half a hum, half a laugh—and rubbed his knee. “I don’t know. I can feel rain coming.”
You didn’t say anything, just glanced up at the sky—still clear, the stars bright. Some rain sounded nice. Peaceful. Something to wash away the past few days.
Rhys looked over at Mor. “Emerie is looking for you.”
Mor exhaled, glancing between the two of you before pulling away. Her hands, fingers now cold from the night, squeezed your face gently. “I love you,” she said softly. “Come find me if you need anything, okay?”
You nodded. “Yeah. Okay.”
She hesitated for just a second before standing up and disappearing into the house. You watched her go, the warmth of her touch still lingering on your skin as you turned back around, finding Rhys already watching you. He had that look—one of quiet concern, of something like careful patience. The image of a concerned father. An older brother.
“You don’t have to babysit me, you know,” you muttered.
Rhys snorted. “Trust me, I’ve had enough babysitting for the night.”
“Yeah, but don’t you want to be inside with everyone else?”
“Are you trying to kick me back into my own home?” he asked, amused.
You shook your head. “No, I just don’t want you to feel like you need to be out here with me.”
“I don’t feel like I need to be anything,” he said simply. “I haven’t spent much time with you lately. I want to be out here.” His voice softened. “After all, this is a banquet thanking people who’ve helped this court. Who has helped more than you, the one I trust to help repair our image?”
You let out a quiet laugh. “Well, I did some damage recently, too.”
“Until you get banned from an entire court, I think you’re alright.”
The conversation settled into a lull, quiet stretching between you.
Then you said, “I’m assuming Mor told you some things.”
“Not really. But I can assume.”
You swallowed, looking away. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Okay,” he said easily. “We don’t have to.”
“But…” You glanced at him, suddenly tired of holding it all in. You had always been honest with your family—always told them the truth, even when it was difficult. And after opening up to Mor, after feeling the weight of it ease just slightly, you realized how much you had missed this. How much lighter a burden felt when it was shared, when you weren’t the only one carrying it.
Rhys seemed to understand before you even said another word. His expression shifted, something like realization settling in his gaze. And then, carefully, you felt the light press of him in your mind. A knock.
You let your walls down.
You felt his presence as he sifted through the memories—watched his face change as he saw it all.
After a long moment, he straightened slightly, exhaling as he looked at you. He squinted, tilting his head. “Oh,” he said. “I see.”
“Yeah.”
You turned away again, resting your head in your hands. Your chest felt a lot lighter now. Your thoughts a little less heavy. Rhys didn’t say anything. He just stood, brushing off his pants before stepping down the stairs.
You frowned, watching as he descended a few steps, then extended a hand toward you.
“What are you doing?” you asked.
“We’re going on a walk.”
“A walk?”
“Yes,” he said. “I think you need to clear your mind.”
You hesitated, eyeing his outstretched hand. He only smiled. “Someone very special in my life used to take me on walks when I was overwhelmed.”
Your lips parted slightly, a flicker of recognition sparking in your chest. You thought back to those early years—when Rhys was newly High Lord, when he was drowning in responsibility and grief he wouldn’t even acknowledge. You had forced him to go on walks back then, dragging him away from his desk, ignoring his protests. He had hated it at first. And then, eventually, it had just become something you did.
A quiet tradition.
You smiled—small, almost sad—as you pushed yourself up. “Are you sure you want to leave everyone?”
“I think they can handle us leaving for a few hours.”
You scoffed. “Don’t speak too soon.”
Rhys huffed a laugh, shaking his head as you stepped down to join him. And then, without another word, you walked.
✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹
There was a certain shared understanding between you and Rhysand— two people who had seen each other at their best and worst. For an hour, as the familiar rhythm of your footsteps matched each other’s perfectly, it felt as if the world had paused just enough for you to feel like you belonged again.
When you finally reached the townhome, Rhys stopped, his hand on your arm like he was trying to keep you from walking away too soon.
“You’re not foolish for not realizing it sooner,” he said. “It’s a gift, really. To love so fully, so completely, that you don’t even notice where friendship ends and something more begins. Most people can’t do that, you know. We’re… very lucky to have you.”
You could only manage a smile in response. Rhys pulled you into a hug, his arms tight around you as he pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head. “Get some rest,” he murmured, pulling away. Then he grinned, a familiar one that only he could pull off. “If you keep overthinking, I’ll have to start charging for my emotional support. I don’t come cheap, you know.”
“Are businesses no longer discounting damaged goods?”
Rhys let out a dramatic gasp, clutching his chest. “Ouch,” he said, eyes wide with mock offense. “I take back everything about you being loving.”
“Night, Rhys,” you said, your voice warmer now. Genuine. “Love you.”
His smile softened, no longer the teasing grin. “I know.” And you could hear the affection there.
Then he turned and began walking down the path, whistling a nursing song that you were sure Nyx had been fixated on. Rhys reached the corner, paused for a moment as if to make sure no one was watching, then disappeared, winnowing into the night.
Dramatic even without an audience. You shook your head, a small smile still tugging at your lips, before entering the townhouse and making your way up the stairs.
You stopped when you saw him.
Azriel. Sitting against your door like he was waiting for something—someone. You. His eyes met yours, locking in place as if he’d been holding his breath this whole time. And in a blink, he was on his feet, moving like something had snapped, urgent, too fast for comfort.
“Y/n,” he said, his voice low. “I’ve been waiting for you.”
You paused, pushing the door to your bedroom open slowly, not fully meeting his gaze. “Why?”
“I was hoping we could talk.”
You sighed, shoulders sagging as exhaustion settled over you. You didn’t want to have this conversation—not right now. It wasn’t that you didn’t care about what Azriel had to say, but everything just felt too much in this moment. You needed space, time to breathe and clear your head before diving into whatever this was between you two.
Tomorrow. You could deal with it tomorrow, with a fresh perspective, when you weren’t so drained. Tonight, you just needed to sleep, to wake up with your head in a better place, ready to handle it all. You wanted Rhys's words to be the last thing in your mind. Something comforting. Soothing.
“Maybe tomorrow,” you muttered, stepping inside. “I’m tired.”
“I’ll make this quick.”
You moved toward your bed, placing Mor’s shawl across your sheets. “Az, seriously. Tomorrow.”
He didn’t move, and when you glanced up, he looked at you then—really looked at you—and your breath caught in your throat as he asked, "Do you have feelings for me?"
You froze. A strange, cold knot twisted in your stomach. “Oh, not this again,” you groaned. You looked away, instinctively crossing your arms across your chest.
“Yes, this again,” he pressed, stepping closer. “I want an answer. Please.”
“Come on, Az.” You forced control over the tremor rising in your chest. “What did I do this time? Stare at you too long? Breathe too loud? Did you mistake me scolding you for some strange forepla—”
“I heard you,” he interrupted, and the words hit like a slap.
It felt like the air stopped moving. You couldn’t breathe.
“What?”
“Tonight,” he said, voice quieter now, “I heard you and Mor. I found this in my pocket.” He pulled out a bracelet—Selene’s, the matching piece to the one Mor had worn earlier.
Your heart slammed into your ribs. You opened your mouth to explain, but nothing came out. You needed something—anything. "You—you misunderstood."
"Did I?" His shadows stirred restlessly around him. “I-I didn’t hear much. It went quiet too fast, but from what I did hear… Did I really misunderstand?”
Your face burned, the heat spreading so quickly it felt like your skin might catch fire under his stare. You turned away, pulling your arms tighter across your chest. “Azriel, I don’t—”
“Just tell me the truth,” he urged, his voice cracking. “Please.”
You couldn’t respond. The words wouldn’t come.
A long silence stretched between you.
“Okay,” Az said, and his voice was so soft, so unlike his usual tone, it almost felt foreign. “Then I need to say something.”
"Az…" You turned to him, meeting his eyes as you said, "Just, please, don’t.”
Your response didn’t seem to register. Azriel closed his eyes, taking in a slow, deep breath, like he was steadying himself before a plunge.
“That night,” he started, “when I cleaned up your cheek, you asked why I listened to Selene. Why I said you had feelings for me. I told you I didn’t know.” He paused, dragging his hand over his face. “I lied. I know why. It bothered me when she said it. More than I wanted to admit. I told myself it was just because it made me uncomfortable—but that wasn’t it. I think the real reason I couldn’t stop thinking about it was because a part of me wanted it to be true.”
Maybe it was the exhaustion, or the way Azriel looked so exposed in front of you, but his words didn’t land right away. You blinked, trying to process, but before you could speak, he continued—his voice somehow even softer now.
“I thought if I said it out loud, you’d laugh it off. Call me crazy. Maybe you’d correct me. Then I could force myself to never think about it again. But you didn’t. And gods, the look on your face when I said it... it was like I’d hit you.”
Another silence settled between you. For the first time, you were grateful for it, because one look at Az told you he wasn’t finished, that there was more he needed to say.
“I think I’ve always loved you,” Az said, and the words cracked something open inside you. “I didn’t know it—not at first. I thought it was normal. Of course, I wanted to be around you all the time. Of course, you’d be the first person I thought of in the morning and the last person at night.” His voice wavered, and he shook his head, a bitter smile tugging at his lips as his wings fell lax. “But it’s not. It’s not normal.”
His gaze finally met yours, steady, like he was holding you there with it. You’d never seen him look at anyone like this—not Mor, not Elain, not Gwyn.
“I can't lie to you, Y/n. I can’t pretend I don’t love you. You’re everywhere. You’re everything.”
You couldn’t breathe. The world around you narrowed, collapsing inward until there was nothing left but him. Azriel loved you. The relief that hit you almost made your knees give out.
His chest rose and fell quickly, like he was bracing for impact. The earlier desperation was gone, replaced by something more timid. "Please," he whispered. "Say something."
The pressure in your chest—the ache that had burrowed beneath your ribs for weeks—dissipated in an instant. Every concern, every gnawing worry. All that remained was the quiet comfort that Azriel had always given you. That ease, that feeling of home you’d only ever found in him.
You exhaled, and before you could stop yourself, a laugh slipped past your lips—breathless, almost disbelieving. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk that much. Like, ever.”
Azriel blinked. For a moment, you thought you’d broken something—but then, his lips twitched, a hesitant smile pulling at the corner of his mouth.
“Well, there was a lot of ground to cover.” He exhaled through his nose. “But if you don’t feel the same—if this isn’t what you want, I’ll step back. I won’t push. I promise.”
You wanted to cry, to laugh, to praise the Mother that he felt the same. Instead, you closed the space between you. Slowly, you reached up, fingers threading through the mess of his hair, smoothing away the strands that had fallen across his forehead. You traced the line of his cheekbone with the barest brush of your fingertips, committing it to memory, savoring the way his breath hitched beneath your touch.
You hesitated—just for a heartbeat—before cupping his face in your palm.
And then, you kissed him.
He didn’t react at first. He just stood there, completely still, like he hadn’t even processed what was happening. You started to pull away, suddenly unsure—
But then he made a sound, something like a sigh of relief, and his hands found you.
The next kiss wasn’t hesitant. His fingers pressed into your waist as he pulled you in, tilting his head, deepening it, like he didn’t want to waste another second. And you felt it—every inch of it. The ache, the longing, the unbearable relief of finally knowing. Every agonizing thought, every moment spent convincing yourself this was one-sided, crumbling beneath the warmth of his mouth against yours.
No kiss had ever felt like this. Not in all your years, not in all your life. Like something was finally, truly yours. It was sharp, it was bright, a rush that sent you spiraling in a way you hadn’t known you could.
But even with your heart glowing in your chest, there was no dramatic shift. No world-altering moment. It just felt right. A quiet kind of certainty. The kind that settled into your bones and left you with nothing but butterflies.
You pulled apart slowly, foreheads resting together, lips still brushing as if reluctant to let go. The cool touch of his shadows grazed your skin. You weren’t sure if it was them or the kiss itself that made your skin tingle.
Azriel’s eyes fluttered open a second after yours. The way he looked at you—so close, his hazel eyes bright with green flecks—had your chest tightening. It made you breathless. His smile softened the furrow in his brow, the motion pulling at his cheeks in a way that made your heart stutter all over again.
His thumb ghosted over your cheek. “Are you crying?”
You blinked, still so caught up in the haze of everything, in how your heart was doing this erratic dance that you couldn’t quite follow. You lifted a hand to your face, and—shit, there were tears. You hadn’t even noticed. “Oh. Well, guess I am,” you said, a half-laugh slipping out before you could stop it, but it sounded hollow, a little shaky. “Awkward.”
Azriel made a sound, something close to a laugh of his own, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes, not fully. “What is it? Did I do something wrong?”
“You have no idea how much I’ve been overthinking the past few weeks.”
Azriel’s expression softened as his finger moved, brushing over your lips now. “If it makes you feel better,” he said, “I’ve been in complete agony too.”
A proper laugh slipped from you. “Well, good,” you said, a little teasing, but it felt good to say it. “It does make me feel better. You deserved it a little bit.”
He smiled, amused, his gaze flicking between your eyes and your lips. “I did, didn’t I?”
A soft hum rumbled in your chest in response, something between a smile and a sigh. His thumb continued its slow, deliberate path across your lips, tracing the edges like he was memorizing them. You didn’t stop him.
You let your hands fall, landing gently against his chest, where you could feel the steady, rhythmic pulse of his heart beneath your palm.
“So, what do we do now?” You asked quietly, the question coming out before you could stop it.
Azriel’s motions slowed. “What would you like to do?”
“Well, we probably have to talk about what this means.”
He nodded. “Probably.”
You couldn’t help it. “And we really need to figure out how we’re going to move forward, how this changes everything…”
“Mhm,” he murmured, his focus now completely on your face, his fingers tracing your features, exploring them in a way he’d never been able to.
“Az,” you murmured. “Are you listening to me?”
He didn’t hesitate as he met your gaze and responded, “I would never make the mistake of not listening to you again.”
The sincerity in his voice made your breath catch, every other thought fading in the wake of it—until your stomach growled. You grimaced.
“Actually,” you said, tapping a finger against his chest. “You know what I would really like to do now?”
“Tell me.”
“I could really go for some food.”
Suddenly, Azriel stepped back, eyes lighting up like an excited child. You frowned at the loss of contact. “Wait here.”
Before you could even process what was happening, he was already gone, running out the door. A few seconds later, he returned, breathless, looking slightly too pleased with himself as he held both hands behind his back. “I have something for you.”
You eyed him. “Is it a bug?”
Realistically, you knew it wasn’t. Or at least, you hoped it wasn’t. But Azriel had never looked this pleased with himself before, never this close to giddy. That, combined with the way his hands were securely tucked behind his back, reminded you that—before anything else—Azriel was your best friend. And your best friend knew exactly how to mess with you at the strangest times.
Azriel’s expression faltered for a second. “What? No. Why would it—never mind.”
Then, hesitantly, he revealed it: crumpled in a piece of an appetizer liner, slightly worse for wear, was the rosemary and honey tartlet you’d eyed earlier. You melted at the sight and reached for it gently, cradling it in your hands like something precious.
Azriel looked almost sheepish. “We can get a proper meal, but I noticed you were looking at it earlier—at the banquet. You never grabbed one. So I thought…”
A laugh slipped out before you could stop it. A real one. Centuries. Centuries of friendship, of knowing him better than anyone, and somehow you’d never seen this. Never noticed how deeply he noticed you. How foolish you had been. How lucky you were now.
Azriel frowned. “What? What’s funny?”
“Nothing,” you said, shaking your head, still laughing softly. “Its just— of course you noticed.”
His lips quirked like he wasn’t sure whether to be amused or suspicious. “Well, yeah.”
“Thank you,” you murmured, reaching out again, pressing your palm against his cheek for a beat before turning your focus back to the tartlet. You turned it over in your hands. “Why is it squished?”
Azriel winced, like the question itself embarrassed him. “Doesn’t matter,” he muttered, brushing it off.
You lifted a brow. “Okay.”
You stared at it for another moment, then turned, setting it carefully on your bed.
He frowned. “But the crumbs on your bedsheet—”
You shook your head, smiling with a teasing eye roll. “Just kiss me, neat freak.”
His protest faded as you wrapped your arms around his neck, pressing your mouth to his. Once, then again, and again, until you were sure even his shadows felt the need to look away.
✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹
You and Azriel hadn’t slept.
Not for any reason that would have had Cassian waggling his eyebrows at you—though you did, naturally, find yourself thinking about it—but because the night had slipped away in conversation over greasy food from a little restaurant south of the townhouse.
The early morning light stretched through the windows, soft and golden, as Azriel stood at the kitchen counter making tea. You watched the familiar sight of him steeping the leaves, the way he moved like this was just any other morning.
But it wasn’t. Twelve hours ago, this had felt impossible. And now it was here.
You curled your fingers around the edge of the table, trying to process the weight of it. It wasn’t heavy, though. That was the strangest part. Not that you now knew how his lips felt against yours, or how his heartbeat sounded when it synced with your own, but how there had been no grand shift, no dramatic revelation. No bolt of lightning splitting your world in two.
Just this—Azriel placing a mug in front of you, his fingers brushing yours, his lips quirking as he sat by you like he always had. Except there were small differences now— his chair was closer, next to you more than it was across. You found yourself focusing on smaller details, his dark lashes as he looked down at his cup, the way his fingers curled around the ceramic. You did your best to suppress any fleeting thoughts at the sight of them. Those ideas could be addressed later.
It all made sense—the infuriating, vague notion that people had told you over the years: when you know, you know. You’d always hated that. How could no one ever explain it? How could no one ever find the words? But looking at Az now, you understood. There were no words. Just this. Just the way your heart settled at the sight of him.
“You’re staring,” Azriel murmured, watching you over the rim of his cup.
You hummed, taking a sip of your tea. “You’re pretty.”
Azriel choked. Caught completely off guard. He set his mug down, coughing once, and when he looked at you again, his eyes were narrowed. “That was disgustingly sincere.”
“I know,” you grinned. “You’ll survive.”
Your mind drifted back to the night before—how the two of you had been desperate to catch up on all the things you had missed over the past few weeks. You’d told him about Adrin’s extensive mirthroot collection and how well you thought he’d be suited for Gwyn. He’d groaned, muttering something about needing to apologize. And then Az had told the story of how Cassian had slapped him for being an idiot. Three times. You’d really laughed at that one.
Somewhere between it all, between the easy conversation and the warmth of having him near, it had hit you again and again—this is it. This is what you could have for the rest of your life, if you were lucky.
Azriel hummed, setting his cup down. He knocked his knee against yours—once, then twice, like he was testing something. And then he reached over, grabbed the side of your chair, and scraped it just an inch closer to his.
You shot him a flat look. “Don’t tell me you’re a clingy boyfriend.”
“Boyfriend?” Azriel raised a brow jokingly. “I don’t remember us labeling anything.”
“Oh, right. My mistake. In that case, I should probably tell Nesta to back out of the Gwyn and Adrin plan—”
“Don’t you dare.”
You smirked over your tea. “Why not? It’s not like I have a boyfriend to be upset about it.”
He stared at you for a beat, smiling as his eyes softened with a warmth that made your stomach flip. Seconds later, you were both laughing. Quiet, warm laughter that filled the kitchen, that curled around you like an embrace.
And then—
A shift, a subtle pull, like the air had thickened and the room was just a little smaller. It wasn’t a shock, nothing sudden or harsh. It was smooth, like a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding until you exhaled, like the feeling of stepping into the sun after hours in the cold.
This was it. He was it.
Azriel froze, eyes widening as the feeling settled. Then, like he was testing something—searching—he tugged, just a bit, like he wasn’t sure if it was real. You sucked in a breath, hand instinctively rising to your chest. You felt it, in the way it seemed to resonate through every nerve, like a pulse echoing through your ribs.
He cleared his throat, a soft sound, almost nervous, and then his voice came out, rough but teasing, “Clingy mate, actually.”
Your heart stumbled over itself. A laugh caught in your throat, half breathless, half disbelieving. And then you were kissing him, pressing your forehead against his, letting the warmth of him, of this, sink into every part of you.
“Bold of you to assume I accept.”
Azriel laughed deeply before he was kissing you again, grinning against your lips as you laughed into his. And when you pulled back, breathless and giddy, you knew—without a single doubt—that you’d never stop choosing this.
Never stop choosing him.
✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹
authors note:
and.... it is a happy ending after all :D awsf? nation how are we feeling tonight🎤
theyre mates, your honor!!! theyre mates and in love!!! im so sorry this took so long my loves, i rewrote it like 6 times. im still worried it doesnt do them justice but hehe we ball
i do have at least two more works for this little universe! a small lil epilogue planned for these sweethearts AND another surprise piece... which is already at 10k (hint: we get…another perspective of the night. plus a fun lil convo with a certain matedhaired male...). the surprise should be out next week, and the proper epilogue (with a timejump!) sometime after. and im always so so open to doing lil one-shots for this universe
thank you all again for reading <3 i hope i've done this lovestory justice.
New astro game alert. Out of the 10 votes I have got 🤣 ( but really i am thankful) I have decided to do a new game on the time period when you will be meeting ur future spouse. So u know the drill.
1. Like and share this post.
2. Follow me for more exciting games.
3. Send in ur birth details via message or ask. Whatever u prefer. It must include the date of birth, time of birth, place and time zone too.
That's it and oh yes we can check with already married couples too.
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