How To Meet Others for Swinging / Threesomes (V2.0)
One of the questions we get asked most frequently is тАЬHow do we meet people for threesomes / swinging / swapping, etc.?тАЭ
Even after posting about this a few years ago we continue to get asked this (because maybe people donтАЩt understand how to use the search on our blog or the FAQ page lol), so itтАЩs worth re-visiting, and also updating. ┬аThis time IтАЩm going to expound with quite a bit more information on both swinger websites and swinger clubs. ┬аFor us, the more reliable way to meet others has been through the swinger websites - and thatтАЩs a majority of what this post will focus on, but weтАЩll share some information on the swinger clubs as weтАЩve met people there also, and I think it may be helpful to those interested in getting started.
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What are the advantages of setting up a profile on a swinger web site?
ItтАЩs like LinkedIn - but you know - way more exciting. ┬аThink of this as your sexual network, and your profile as your sexual resume. ┬аThe people that join the sites, for the most part, seem to be serious about тАЬthe lifestyleтАЭ / swinging. They get it. ┬аTheyтАЩve taken the time to setup a profileтАж which means in all probability they are DTF (eventually). ┬аThey donтАЩt want the drama, they just want fun. ┬аMost are happy to be friends as wellтАж friends with benefits that is. ┬аSome of the swinger websites have free areas, and then also have membership levels or areas and/or additional functionality you have to pay for. ┬аI know everyone expects to get everything for fucking free these days, but keep in mind that the owners of these sites have to pay for the design, maintenance, hosting, bandwidth, and the functionality of the sites like hosting pics, videos, and messagingтАж so donтАЩt bust their fucking balls about having to pay for them. ┬аYou want to find / meet some reliable and cool swingers? ┬аPay for the fucking membership area and donтАЩt be a fucking cheapskate. ┬аItтАЩs like the old saying goes - you get what you pay for. ┬аYou want free? ┬аGo to Craigslist - youтАЩll see what I mean.
Public vs. Private
Not unlike setting up a Tumblr - you can use an alias e-mail address for your login and to setup your profile and you can pick a screen name (gotta love the ubiquitous ┬а"Cpl4forfun4usixt9" - thatтАЩs not my joke it comes from a fucking hilarious video called тАЬShit Swingers SayтАЭ). ┬аThe only way these sites are not тАЬanonymousтАЭ is by using your credit card to pay for the full membership option. ┬аWhen you setup your profile you can also determine what level of information and/or photos you want shared publicly or want to remain private and to share with only selected others. Some sites even allow you to hide yourself from others unless they are confirmed / verified / or friends (see more below). ┬аNaturally, you can also block people if necessary.
Confirmed or Verified Members
Most sites have some type of confirmation or verification system where after youтАЩve setup your profile, if you want to take the extra step of getting confirmed or verified, typically youтАЩll need to send in a face pic and hold up a piece of paper with your screen name and date on it and it has to be approved by a site admin. ┬аThese pics are never uploaded to your profile unless you add them there yourself. ┬аThese sites have this system because there are people who create fake profiles on these sites (IтАЩve seen plenty of stolen generic Tumblr porn pics used like they are their real profile pics), and so this at least helps you determine (the profiles will be marked as confirmed / verified) which profiles are тАЬrealтАЭ as theyтАЩve at least gone through some sort of effort to prove they arenтАЩt fake. ┬а
Profile Tips
Remember what I said about this being like LinkedIn (but way more fun)? ┬аIf youтАЩre looking for a job do you put up one fucking terrible photo of yourself on your profile and like one sentence about past employment experience? ┬аNo, you put some effort into it - this is no different. ┬аPut up a reasonable description of yourself, talk about what you like, talk about what youтАЩre looking for, talk about your experience or lack thereof if youтАЩre new to the lifestyle. ┬аDonтАЩt bullshit like on your LinkedIn profile either. ┬аAlso, have fun with this - swingers while they may be serious about wanting to fuck other people - love to have fun and laugh at themselves and others. ┬а
Profile Photo Tips
Ok real talk - letтАЩs face it - the first fucking thing someone is going to look at that either gets their attention in the first place, or the first thing theyтАЩre going to want to see when they get to your profile is your pics. ┬аSo, be thoughtful about what youтАЩre posting here. ┬аRemember, youтАЩre trying to make a good impression. ┬аWhen you think about what pictures to post, donтАЩt just post pics of your cock or closeups of her tits / pussy / ass. Be a little more revealing of who you are. You donтАЩt have to show your face, but make sure other couples have a sense of who they are talking to. Make sure the pictures are recent, and look relatively decent - try posting something other than a bunch of selfies (or pics where youтАЩve cropped someone out lol) if you can. If youтАЩre a couple - have your partner take pics of you. Also, if youтАЩre a couple, put up pictures of both of you. Some couples only put up pics of the womanтАж and it ends up being like click-bait - because when you meet them - sheтАЩs smoking hot like her picturesтАж and heтАЩs not anywhere like his profile described him (or the one photo that was just a pic of his dick). Be honest in your descriptions of yourself as well. We are not by any means тАЬperfectтАЭ in our looks or what everyone is looking forтАж and a lot of people have turned us down, and to be totally honest weтАЩve definitely passed on meeting some people as well.
Searching
You can search member directories by area (city / state) of the country where you live, and/or who youтАЩre looking for (a couple, a single woman, a single guy, etc.), and/or other features like who theyтАЩre looking for (other couples, single women, single men), what level of play they are interested in, distance from you, etc.
WhoтАЩs Looking / WhoтАЩs On?
Most of these sites do a great job of letting you know who is looking at your profile, and additionally things like if people are тАЬlikingтАЭ your photos youтАЩve posted, or if theyтАЩve sent you some type of particular outreach like a flirt or a wave. ┬аYou can also usually see if they are currently online and if not, when was the last date / time they were online. ┬аSome sites will even show you if you have sent someone else a message, whether or not theyтАЩve read it.
Initial Outreach
Ok, youтАЩve found some people you think youтАЩd like to meet. ┬аWhatтАЩs the first step? ┬аAs I mentioned above most sites have a way to reach out. ┬аSome sites call them тАЬflirtsтАЭ or тАЬwavesтАЭ or you can add people to special тАЬhot listsтАЭ or тАЬfollow / favoriteтАЭ certain pepole and/or profiles. ┬аItтАЩs a first-step way of letting another person / couple know youтАЩre interested in them. ┬аMost times people will wait to see if the person / couple they sent an outreach to looks at their profile and then reciprocates that gesture of the outreach. ┬аThatтАЩs typically when itтАЩs a good time to send a message to reach out more. ┬аFor fuckтАЩs sake this isnтАЩt (generally speaking here) the time for a тАЬLetтАЩs fuck tonight!тАЭ message. ┬аFor most people thatтАЩs an automatic delete. ┬аTry a little more along the lines of тАЬHi. Read and really enjoy your profile. ┬аIt sounds like we have a lot in common. ┬аI / we noticed youтАЩre looking for this particular type of thing and so am I / we. ┬аReally enjoyed your profile pics too - thanks for sharing! ┬аI / we would be interested in chatting to know you better, if youтАЩd like to get to know us a little better as well.тАЭ ┬аThatтАЩs considered a pretty good / cool message. ┬а(See more in the etiquette section below as well about this).
Friends
Once youтАЩve made some connections with others - youтАЩve read their profile and youтАЩve got a lot in common and youтАЩve liked some of their pics and/or theyтАЩve liked some of yours or youтАЩve sent some sort of outreach or youтАЩve messaged - thatтАЩs typically when people exchange / accept friend requests from others. ┬а(See the section below about тАЬEtiquetteтАЭ regarding friend requests).
Home page / Dashboard / Timeline
Most sites have a тАЬdashboardтАЭ (or timeline) of sorts - where you can post text and/or pics and with some sites even video. ┬аItтАЩs usually open to view by anybody on the site, so think about what you want to share here. ┬аUsually posting some sexy pics or a good conversation topic will get you a lot of тАЬviewsтАЭ, and some possible interest from others (see WhoтАЩs Looking? above).
Groups
Usually the sites also have groups you can join where you can learn about meet & greets or special parties in your area, or other things like common interests in erotic fiction, sexting, photo exchange, BDSM, orgies, gang bangs, etc.
Events
Plenty of information on events taking place in your area, or even information on events taking place in other destinations, or even special travel for swingers to resorts or cruises.
Club Listings
Most sites also have listings, and some have ratings, of local clubs, or if youтАЩre traveling and youтАЩd like to try out of town clubs this is a good way to get information on them. ┬аWay more on clubs further down in this post.
General Etiquette
ItтАЩs amazing that I even have to write thisтАж but not unlike Tumblr thereтАЩs some crazy shit that can go down sometimes. ┬аPlease, donтАЩt make a profile with one picture, and one sentence тАЬwe want to find other swingersтАЭ (like duh, no shit!) and go friend requesting everyone on the site. ┬аLegit swingers who are serious about this and who are DTF want to know more about you. ┬аDonтАЩt expect anyone to accept your friend requests if you have only one picture and basically no information about yourselves. ┬аAnd if you say тАЬIтАЩve got to be discreetтАЭ sorry, not sorry but thatтАЩs a bullshit cop-out. ┬аYou think everyone else on the site wants the whole goddamn planet to know theyтАЩre on there? ┬аNo (okay, not most people at least). ┬аAgain, your main profile or public pics donтАЩt have to have your faces in them, but give people a little something to see and some information about yourselves and you can still do that and be discreet. ┬аAlso, if you send someone a message and they donтАЩt reply after a couple of days or so, that probably means that more than likely theyтАЩre not interested. ┬аSometimes itтАЩs hard to find the right / polite words to say тАЬIтАЩm not interestedтАЭ because people donтАЩt want to hurt othersтАЩ feelings, so some people will just not reply. ┬аSo, thereтАЩs no need to continue messaging them asking the same question. ┬аAlso, most swingers appreciate some type of advanced scheduling (lots of us are parents, and canтАЩt play on the spur of the moment) but it doesnтАЩt stop people from sending messages asking to meet up the same night. *Rolls eyes*┬а IтАЩm sure for some people that might work, but for the most part sending a message that day and expecting a hot-ass hook-up later that night ainтАЩt the norm for most.
Info on / Tips for - Couples
Being a couple looking to meet another couple can be a challenge. ┬аThere are four people involved - and sometimes that can mean a lot of negotiating. Every couple has their own level of comfort when it comes to play. ┬аAre you a soft swap or full swap couple? ┬аDo you play together in the same room, or will you play in separate rooms? ┬аDo you allow solo play? ┬аAre both wives bi or bi-curious? ┬аIf one isnтАЩt bi/bi-curious will the other wife be okay with that? ┬аWhat about the guys? ┬аIs one bi-curious and one straight and will that freak out the straight guy? ┬аAre both wives into the otherтАЩs husband, or are both husbands into the otherтАЩs wife? ┬аIf not, how does that all play out? ┬аWill your partner тАЬtake one for the teamтАЭ if necessary? ┬аIf things are going well with the conversation online and you get a chance to meet - is there chemistry between the couples? ┬аIf so, how do you decide to take it to the next level? ┬аBetween being parents and being swingers and all the negotiating that goes on in both of those I bet I could be a top-notch hostage crisis negotiator with the fucking SWAT team. ┬аAlso, if youтАЩre considering the lifestyle but havenтАЩt talked to your spouse about it, please, donтАЩt create a profile on a swinger site if only one of you really wants to do this. ┬аItтАЩs okay if youтАЩre checking it out тАЬrecon styleтАЭ so you can be knowledgeable and informed when you approach your spouse about wanting to try it out, but itтАЩs not fucking cool to start messaging people to meet up, and then not being able to because you both arenтАЩt okay with it and the other person doesnтАЩt even know you have this profile yet. ┬аThatтАЩs a giant fucking waste of time for everyone involved. ┬аYouтАЩd be surprised, but it happens a lot. ┬аOverall weтАЩve had some great experiences with other couples and some hot adventures and hope to meet more and have more fun as we continue in the lifestyle.
Info on / Tips for - Single Men
There are lot of them out there in the lifestyle. ┬аA lot. ┬аSome couples are receptive to them, some couples are not. ┬аIf youтАЩre a single guy hereтАЩs a couple of good things to know. ┬аNot all couples will treat you like second class citizens, and some will even welcome your inquires and advances. ┬аJust know that at some point along the way some other single guy may have fucked up pretty badly (trust us, itтАЩs happened) and you may be judged on by what happened with that other person. ┬аAlso, because there are a lot of single guys in the LS, please know that a one word lame come on message and a pic of your dick arenтАЩt going to distinguish you from the crowd exactly. ┬аIf I see only dick pics or one word messages in our inbox on these sites I just delete them (FYI same for Tumblr). ┬аIf you want to make a good impression and have even a chance at anything happening, send a nice message - with well written sentences, compliments for the wife, actually read the couples full profile to see if maybe youтАЩre a good fit for them, and most importantly be cool, and donтАЩt be pushy and/or overly aggressive. One of our current regular single guy friends we play with - it took us months to finally be able to meet him - and he played it cool and wasnтАЩt pushy and now weтАЩve almost been playing with him for almost a year. ┬аSafe to say heтАЩs been тАЬrewarded for his patienceтАЭ. ┬аIf a single guy takes the time to send a good message like described above - I will at least do them the courtesy of a reply even if itтАЩs to say (тАЭBe NiceтАЭ - Dalton) that weтАЩre not interested or not available. ┬аSome single guys are also pretty bad about making assumptions - such as that just because weтАЩre on a swinger site and we say weтАЩre open to single guys that my wife wants to / canтАЩt help herself from fucking every single one of them. ┬аI mean, I know weтАЩre on a swinger site, and I know sheтАЩs a slut - but sheтАЩs my slut - and she is selective in terms of what guys sheтАЩs attracted to, and IтАЩm selective in terms of making sure itтАЩs someone who will abide by our situation and treat my wife with some dignity and respect. ┬аAlso, if your profile pic is a pic of your dick and/or your dick pics have no game you should read тАЬThe Art of The Dick Pic (Club)тАЭ for some helpful hints. ┬аOverall, weтАЩve had a lot of good experiences with single guys and weтАЩre thankful that weтАЩve met some really great guys through the lifestyle.
Info on / Tips for - Single Women
Ah, the ever elusive тАЬunicornтАЭтАж hence the name and the great reverence paid to them in the lifestyle - and itтАЩs for good reason. ┬аItтАЩs pretty much the exact opposite of the single guys out there - single women are very hard to come by in the lifestyle - and everyone - couples and single guys - want to hook up with the very limited number of single women. ┬аWhen new single women join these sites they usually get a lot of attention very quickly. ┬аA good majority of couples out there - thatтАЩs exactly what theyтАЩre looking for - and with some couples thatтАЩs exclusively what theyтАЩre looking for. ┬аIt always cracks me up when a couple makes a profile on one of these sites and after being on the site like a whole 24 hours, they post something about being frustrated that thereтАЩs no single women for them to hook up with one-time this coming weekend for the husbandтАЩs birthday. ┬аLOL #getaclue. ┬аThe lifestyle does not work like that at all. ┬а(Some really donтАЩt understand at all how this works so much so that weтАЩve had couples approach us online to ask if they can only play with my wife. ┬аIтАЩm not even kidding). ┬аNot unlike the single guys though, not all the single women in the lifestyle are perfect in terms of their behavior either. ┬аWe had one we were chatting with and everything was going great and we were going to meet up (a date, time, and location were all set) until that morning she told us she would rather meet another couple she liked more. ┬аSMH. ┬аIтАЩd say that sometimes the attention can go to peopleтАЩs heads as well. Overall, weтАЩve been fortunate to meet and play with some great single women, and naturally, hope to meet others as we continue in the lifestyle.
So, what are some sites to look into?
This is by no means an exhaustive list. These are just the ones weтАЩve either seen, or have big followings among the swinger community, or heard the most about the most, or that we are on (weтАЩre not on all of them, and IтАЩm not saying which one(s) we are on). ┬аTo be fair - this isnтАЩt any kind of a тАЬrankingтАЭ below - just a list of sites in alphabetical order. ┬а(IтАЩm really sorry but for some fucking reason Tumblr WILL NOT let me hyperlink the sites below. ┬аEvery fucking time I put the hyperlink in, or just put the site URLтАЩs below it wonтАЩt let me post this or save this in Drafts. ┬аI tried everything I could think of - they must have an outside link limit in these posts - sorry. ┬аJust copy & paste any of those into┬атАЬthe GoogleтАЭ though and you should have no trouble finding the sites).
Adult Friend Finder
Kasidie
Swinger date club
Swing life style┬а
Quiver.us
Can you try Craigslist? Yes. ItтАЩs a little embarrassing to admit, but we did use CL a little at the beginning for one or two of our early adventures. We had some good experiencesтАж but youтАЩve got to wade through a fuck-ton of all the fucking bat-shit crazies to find the good ones that arenтАЩt fakes and/or flakes. We also had some bad ones. SoтАж good luck with that. ┬аOur advice would be to stay away from CL.
Also, IтАЩve seen some people use other standard social media sites like Twitter and of course here on Tumblr for this. ┬аMaybe thatтАЩs worked for some people, but for us we prefer to use legitimate swinger websites for meeting others. ┬аIтАЩm not saying that Tumblr hookups donтАЩt happen, IтАЩve certainly seem some people post about that.. It may have also happened for us too. ┬аMaybe. ┬аIтАЩm not saying for sure if it did or not, or if we happened to actually post about it and intentionally hide that fact. ┬аMaybe. ┬аIтАЩm not saying. ┬аFrom my understanding however, itтАЩs usually after months or longer of talking and getting to know each other. ┬аSending your very first message to another blogger asking where they live doesnтАЩt constitute Tumblr as a legit swinger site. ┬аAgain thatтАЩs just my understanding or what IтАЩve heard. ┬аMaybe.
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General
So hereтАЩs the most important thing you need to know about the swinger clubs - at least in our experience - you donтАЩt have to do anything if you donтАЩt want to. ┬аIf you and your spouse are unsure of whether or not you want to truly enter the lifestyle and youтАЩd like to see what the clubs are all about - you can just go and sit in the club and keep to yourselves and not have to do anything at all but sit and watch. ┬аIf youтАЩre new and want to explore and be voyeurs you totally can do that. ┬аIt doesnтАЩt mean people wonтАЩt approach you, but you can say that youтАЩre only there to watch and explore and people will be cool with that and let you be. The clubs if nothing else are fucking amazing for people watching.
On-Premises Clubs
Most clubs weтАЩve been to are what are called тАЬon-premisesтАЭ clubs - meaning you can play there with others while at the club. ┬аThose clubs have a common тАЬclubтАЭ area with tables and dance floors and the bar, and then play areas or VIP areas where you can play. ┬аEach club has their own rules and fees associated with the common area vs. the play area - so do some online research about your local club (or read reviews on the swinger sites) before going, or get there early and get the tour from the staff and theyтАЩll fill you in on the rules. ┬аSome clubs are тАЬoff-premisesтАЭ which means itтАЩs a тАЬsafe spaceтАЭ to meet other swingers - more than likely for a first time meet up after chatting online - but you canтАЩt play there - youтАЩve got to go someplace else.
Club Rules
Each club has not only their own rules associated with the common area vs. the play area, but they do have rules about things like what nights single guys can attend (usually only Friday nights and not on Saturdays), rules for single guys who attend, dress codes for the men (singles or couples), and rules about certain areas of the play area. ┬аA lot of clubs will post some or most of this information on their websites (which are usually fucking criminally bad and either look like they were designed in 1996, or havenтАЩt been updated since then and are usually not mobile-friendly).
Club Tours
If youтАЩre brand new to this and you want to arrive closer to opening time, the club staff at every club weтАЩve ever been was more than happy to give us a tour of the place. ┬аMost clubs wonтАЩt be very busy at all near opening, but itтАЩs good time to get a tour and hear about all the specific club rules. ┬а(Also if you get there early for the tour and thereтАЩs not many people there, donтАЩt get discouraged only noobs who want tours get there early lol.)
Play Areas
If youтАЩre new to the particular club, or new to swinging go early to the club and get the tour I mentioned. ┬аEach club has their own rules for the play area. ┬аPlease respect them. ┬аEspecially if youтАЩre in the play area, whatever you do, donтАЩt touch / do anything with anyone else unless youтАЩve asked first or been given permission. ┬аFor the most part weтАЩve not had issues, but thereтАЩs been some experiences where weтАЩve had to talk to people about their / our boundaries. ┬аMost clubs will have an open / voyeur area where anyone can watch, and some have more private spaces. ┬аSome clubs will even have special areas like a big hot tub, or showers, or areas for bondage or toy play, or even тАЬorgyтАЭ rooms. ┬аJust be cool and pay attention to what others are doing in order to take some visual cues. ┬аIf you have questions - ask someone - either club staff or other people that seem to know what theyтАЩre doing. ┬аAlso, sometimes you wonтАЩt find out the rules until youтАЩve broken them - like one time IтАЩm fucking Mrs. M&F on a couch in the voyeur room of a club and sheтАЩs got her heels on and someone tells us sheтАЩs got to take her heels off in the middle of me fucking her. ┬аSeriously, you canтАЩt make this shit up.
Dress (or lack thereof)
The first rule of swinger clubs is that there is always a themed event. ┬аAlways. ┬аSwingers love and need themed events. ┬аOtherwise itтАЩs just a bunch people fucking other people. ┬аIf there was a swinger constitution that would be at the very top. ┬аItтАЩs not just back-to-school weekend at the club - itтАЩs тАЬSlutty School Girl NightтАЭ. ┬аItтАЩs not Christmas - itтАЩs тАЬSlutty Elf NightтАЭ. ┬аItтАЩs not a private pool party at someoneтАЩs house - itтАЩs a тАЬLuauтАЭ where тАЬeveryone gets leiтАЩdтАЭ. ┬аIn the swinger calendar, Halloween is by far the тАЬHoliest of HoliesтАЭ when it comes to holidays and themed events. ┬аItтАЩs the penultimate mash-up of every themed swinger party ever. ┬аAt our first Halloween party at a swingerтАЩs club, I watched my wife who was dressed as a slutty Biergarten girl get fingered by Batman for fuckтАЩs sake. ┬аNot everyone can say that. ┬аThe only holiday themed party that truly comes close to Halloween is New YearтАЩs EveтАж where you тАЬget to ring in the new year with a bangтАЭ. ┬аNaturally. ┬аAll that being said, you donтАЩt even have to dress up for the theme if you donтАЩt want to. ┬аIf youтАЩre new and just there to check it out тАЬdress to impressтАЭ but what youтАЩre comfortable with if that makes sense. ┬аYouтАЩll see people dressed for the theme, and youтАЩll see people that are just dressed for a nice dinner out. ┬аMost clubs will have a dress code for the men - since you know their wives are dressed up for тАЬSlutty Daisy Dukes NightтАЭ the guys need some тАЬdirectionтАЭ. ┬аUsually men will need to wear either nice jeans or pants, and a shirt with a collar and no athletic shoes. ┬аAlso, thankfully fucking jorts are never allowed.
Play Time
Nothing fucking happens until at least midnight. ┬аItтАЩs like the theme nights. ┬аItтАЩs written in the SwingerтАЩs constitution тАЬPlay cannot happen until midnight (or later)тАЭ. ┬аIn our experience, the club might open around 9PM, but most people really start arriving around 10:30PM and for some people it takes a while for them to get in the groove / get in the mood / meet others.
Meeting Others
The clubs can be a tough environment sometimes to meet others. ┬аThereтАЩs not the casual / easy flirting of the swinger sites where itтАЩs photo likes and messages and stuff. ┬аIn the club itтАЩs the face-to-face interaction and that can be overwhelming sometimes. ┬аWeтАЩve been at the club sometimes and nobody will come talk to us, and other times, people have approached us. ┬аOther times weтАЩve been at the club, and weтАЩve been the ones to approach another couple - and sometimes weтАЩve gotten turned down. ┬аIt happens. ┬аThe clubs can also be a little тАЬclique-yтАЭ sometimes if a lot of the regulars are there. ┬аA good night to try out the clubs is if they are having special meet & greet nights that can be a little less pressure. ┬аMost of the swinger sites will also have special nights at the club which are helpful because you can agree on the site via messages to meet up for the first time with another person / couple at the club for the meet & greet. ┬аThe important thing is if you get turned down, itтАЩs hard, but weтАЩve learned - there is really someone out there for everyone in the lifestyle.
Legal Stuff / BYOB (Alcohol)
To skirt the local тАЬdecency lawsтАЭ most clubs are BYOB so you have to bring your own booze┬а(they provide only the setups like sodas and fruit juices / cups / ice, etc.). ┬аThat way if theyтАЩre not providing alcohol they arenтАЩt held to the same rules as other nightclubs and can essentially be тАЬprivate clubsтАЭ and donтАЩt get hassled for having a bunch of naked people acting тАЬindecentlyтАЭ and fucking in public. ┬аI really donтАЩt want this next part to sound judgmental, this is just based on our experience and what weтАЩve seen. ┬аPart of what takes some people a long time to get going is the need for some тАЬliquid courageтАЭ. ┬аEverybody has their own thing and we donтАЩt mean to judge - itтАЩs cool with us if people like letting off some steam and getting a little crazy and having a few drinks. ┬аWe enjoy having a little something to drink at the clubs sometimes, but weтАЩve seen some people get pretty out of control. ┬аNot only is it not sexy at a certain point, but weтАЩd rather fuck people we know who are in full control of their decisions. ┬аFor the fun we enjoy having there we prefer to be way more sober so a.) we remember all the hot shit we did the next day, and b.) weтАЩve had some experiences where people said one thing while hanging out talking, and then it changed when it came time to play, so we prefer to be more тАЬpresentтАЭ. ┬аHell, weтАЩve even been known to hit up the Starbucks on the way to the club to make sure weтАЩre properly caffeinated for what may be a long night (again, nothing fucking starts until at least midnight). ┬аAll that being said, itтАЩs amazing what people will bring to the club to drink. ┬аI mean I know itтАЩs BYOB but some people show up like itтАЩs a goddamn NFL Sunday tailgate party. ┬аWe saw a couple coming into the club with them one of those large coolers with wheels on it full to the brim. ┬аAt that point you might as well bring your favorite teamsтАЩ pop-up tent and a a fucking grill for your brats while youтАЩre at it.
Music:
For the most part the music seems to be pretty much the same at most of the clubs weтАЩve been to. ┬аWe even have a playlist of songs weтАЩve downloaded that weтАЩll listen to in the car on the way to the club, or when weтАЩre having friends over to тАЬset the moodтАЭ. ┬аWhat kind of music? ┬аThis is where we confess to being mid-40тАЩs adults who donтАЩt listen to the radio or popular music all that much, but we can say without a doubt that тАЬMr. WorldwideтАЭ Pitbull is the king of the swinger club music. ┬аNot unlike the theme nights and nothing starting until fucking midnight or later, another key tenet of swinger clubs is that they have to play lots of Pitbull and of course itтАЩs a requirement that they play Nine Inch Nails тАЬCloserтАЭ and Eminem / Nate DoggтАЩs тАЬShake Your AssтАЭ as well as any songs that are explicitly about тАЬbootyтАЭ or sex in general (too many to mention). ┬аAlso the requisite playing of ┬аAC/DCтАЩs тАЬYou Shook Me All Night LongтАЭ or BuckcherryтАЩs тАЬCrazy BitchтАЭ where every woman in the club decides they want to work the poles. ┬аNot of course that weтАЩre complaining.
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OkayтАж that should be plenty of information for anyone out there looking to meet others for swinging to at the very least get started and on your way. ┬а
Now, pleaseтАж re-blog the fuck out of this so we can get some good info going around about how to do this for all those who want to know.
You can also check some of our swinging tags if youтАЩre interested in more information (or want to read up on adventures weтАЩve had with the┬атАЬOur AdventuresтАЭ or┬атАЬThe DeetsтАЭ tags). ┬аI even linked below a few posts on how we got started in swinging, and why we swing. ┬а
Swingers
Swinger Advice
Swinger Humor
Swinger Problems
Our Adventures
The Deets
How We Got Here
Why We Swing
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PS. Okay, now that should be plenty of fucking information. ┬аIf you need more than that I may not be the right person to help you.
PPS. I donтАЩt even know why IтАЩm going to type this because I know nobody will fucking read it, but donтАЩt fucking ask us what fucking sites we are on, or where we live and what clubs we go to. ┬аIf you do, IтАЩm going to fuck with you bad.