DJ McFly

Has the phatest beats in town

[zimjaeyun-deactivated20220116]

fuck it’s august??? what’s next? 2022???? can’t do this anymore

[slytherverse]

friend is trying to sell her car bc shes moving to a state with vehicle inspections and her prius lives in defiance of god. anyway so shes cleaning it out at my apartment complex bc we have dumpsters and her roommate forgot to pay the trash bill. i will be liveblogging my experience watching her do this and you will understand why i refuse to help her

[slytherverse]

-threw out the floor mats entirely bc theres magic the gathering cards molded into them

-found an axe formely belonging to a friend who is now in jail

-four trash bags worth of clothes and an untold amount of fast food trash

[slytherverse]

guys theres a pile of chicken bones down there from wingstop im so scared

AND i hear "hey dude can i use ur washing machine real quick" and she pulls out a pair of pants from, i shit you not, 1940 and theyre moldified into a SOLID. those pants survived a war and couldnt last a year in her fucking shitbox istfg

[slytherverse]

shes cleaning out the Broken Glass Area of the backseat (normal thing to have. been there FOUR FUCKING YEARS)

fuckin blindly sticks her hand under the seat and pulls out a fully intact URANIUM GLASS PLATE. "for you :D" ... GIRL

[slytherverse]

"oh no i disturbed the nursery section of The Colony!!! D: D: " awesomesauce. i hope an asteroid comes and kills us both

[slytherverse]

i swear to god im not exaggerating here. anyway heres an incomplete list of everything we found inside:

-axe (stolen)

-earrings made out of dentures

-flavored condoms

-a quilt

-hello kitty sweater (stolen from a DIFFERENT ex-friend with a felony charge)

-deer spine

-baseball sized wad of human hair

-""sex apron""

-uranium glass plate

-pile of non-uranium non-car glass

-rollerblades

-complete phantom of the opera cd set

-magic the gathering cards mold-ified into a brick

-lego millennium falcon

-a CUTLASS??? (for "self defense")

-the back bumper of the car

-an entire fucking ant colony

and finally, perhaps the most disturbing,

-a pack of vanilla wax melts, inexplicably unmelted and intact despite sitting inside this terrarium-with-a-prius-wrapped-around-it in 100 degree heat for god knows how long

[slytherverse]

i must stress: before today she DID NOT KNOW about the ant colony in there . she thought ants just really liked to climb inside anytime the car was parked.

[slytherverse]

guys i cant take it anymore

[slytherverse]

bringing this post back bc i found a video of her offering me the phantom cd set and i said no because the box was coated in a syrupy mat of human hair and she was confused because "we know whos hair it is" ???? as if the origin of the hair was the only fucking holdup

[ifyouknowmeirlgoaway]

#and this is why car inspections exist

[magicratfingers]

oh well i guess ill just be fat and hot

[magicratfingers]

guess ill be fat and hot and hot

[throwbackblr]

[anxietyproblem]

[shovlison]

Christmas 🎄: depressed in a festive way

[marisatomay]

love to purchase items but at what cost

[icantwritegood]

[torchwood-99]

"I love you but you're doing wrong in a way I cannot condone" and "I hate you but you're being wronged in a way I cannot stomach" are top tier and I need more of them.

[allthatispeculiar]

[wetheurban]

At the end of the day, you can’t delay joy until life looks a certain way. You deserve to enjoy your life now.

[sobcat]

[batmanbeyondrocks]

Black Menswear modelled by Black Men

Creative Director Rock Mitchell

[kowabungadoodles]

[headspace-hotel]

The dude in bright orange with the orange umbrella that looks like a peacocks tail.... FAVE

[radioactive-leopard]

Something by I love about Black Menswear is how they’re not afraid of color and personality. It’s not just the same boring black or blue suit jacket every time. It’s also just very dapper.

[headspace-hotel]

YESSS i especially love the florals...

[gh0stienj0yer]

i need to get off tumblr i’m at the aquarium admiring the fish and my brain goes “posts that make you want to get in the water” what are you talking about. these are live fish in the room with you. what post.

[gh0stienj0yer]

posts that make you want to get in the water

[warriorprincesstramp]

the ear nose and throat being all connected is so heinous

[warriorprincesstramp]

worst throuple ever and the sex is disgusting!!!

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[heatherwitch]

Here’s the uncropped version with the artist’s name on it (GOTTE - Instagram)

[pointnclick]

"we live in an uncaring universe." sorry the special planet full of beauty and animals and food literally growing out of the ground isnt good enough for you. i guess

[lioness--hart]

“In the same way your heart feels and your mind thinks, you, mortal beings, are the instrument by which the universe cares. If you choose to care, then the universe cares. If you don’t, then it doesn’t.”

~Brennan Lee Mulligan

[dependsoncontext]

[awed-frog]

thanks I hate it

[siderealsandman]

You Got a Friend In Horse 

[garrettauthor]

YOU DO NOT HAVE A FRIEND IN HORSE

[katerinaaqu]

Found this legend again! 🤣🤣🤣

[shencomix]

[pterribledinosaurdrawings]

how it feels to message a friend who's having Problems that you can't do anything to help with.