The universe is, and we are.

Anthropophagic cryptid, just late to the party. Writer. Teacher. Scientist. Not that kind of doctor. He/they. AO3

[shutyourmoustache]

*whispers* holy shit. he’s done it again.

[shutyourmoustache]

*yells* THIS IS THAT TIME HE DID IT WITH POTTERY AND IT FUCKING RULED.

[hug-your-face]

via @swatercolor [insta]

[hug-your-face]

This is the best tag I've ever received on a post, I think

[blackheart-biohazards]

😈 You are not bound by the Hays code.

😈 You are allowed to have evil characters who are not punished by the narrative by the end of the story.

😈 You are allowed to have evil characters who win.

😈 You are allowed to have evil characters who make evil look fun and cool.

😈 You are allowed to make your fun, cool evil character the protagonist.

😈 You are allowed to glorify, romanticize and eroticize evil characters and villainous acts.

😈 You are not obligated to teach your audience a moral lesson.

[dovesndecay]

[sanitymakesposts]

Mods? Take him to the stump of his favorite childhood tree.

[sanitymakesposts]

Mods, make him busy during a friends planned trip so he misses out on the new inside joke.

[sanitymakesposts]

Mods… change the smell of his parents house.

[evilscientist3]

look boss, our quarterly "subjection to the brutalities of the Absurd" budget is almost blown already. can we not just shoot this one twice in the back of the head and call it a day?

[kayvsworld]

my body, tearfully: when sleep???

me: my dude we just woke up!! It’s time for wakefulness and doing things and Productivity

my body, weeping: but???? when sleep?????

[rizaoftheowls]

me: okay, finally now is sleep

my body: no. wrong.

[cryptotheism]

Adam: Your older brother. Abel. He's dead.

Adams third child, Seth: What is that?

Adam: I don't know. This is new for me too.

[cryptotheism]

Eve: I think "dead" is what happens to dinnerbeasts.

Seth:

Eve: We might have to dinner him.

[pronouncingitwang]

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

[yokowan]

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

[le-jardin-inculte]

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

[shithowdy]

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

[djpachipikachu]

happy pride month

[cranity]

The Butcher

[shiverandqueeef]

how measurements work in canada (ie/ badly)

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

It's very rare when I can say the USA isn't the worst at something!

[anxietyproblem]

[squeakitties]

"do it scared" gets exhausting when you're The Fearful Afraider and everything is scary even when you're in your 30s

[brawlite]

i don't want to actually write a fic, i want to create a gross scenario that i can roll around in for forever, like a dog in a bad smell. you feel me?

[brawlite]

i want to marinate in the vibes. but like this, you feel me ?:

[probuccalfat]

these women did wonders for the “i’m single and i like it that way” community… i’m having a sexy ass life!

[transportnsw]

we actually cancel all the trains when it rains because we don't want them to get sick, if you even fucking care

[transportnsw]

fact checked by true new south wales patriots ❗️☝️☝️

[socialistexan]

Same exact playbook, down to the "but it was based on a lie."

[theabigailthorn]

literally the same people doing it as well

I cannot overstate how much the modern conversion therapy movement is about 50 people who all have names and addresses and who simply will. not. fuck. off.

[westernmassposting]

you hear about this? https://bsky.app/profile/dieworkwear.bsky.social/post/3mkl677twkc2v

oh we stan

Massachusetts woman set swarms of insects on sheriff’s deputies attempting to evict elderly man with cancer

🐝🐝🐝🐝Direct Action 🐝🐝🐝🐝

[westernmassposting]

Some other excellent exerpts: