Exquisite Taste with Bad Takes

Minors DNI

[donathans-journal]

My all time favorite BCR Jojo Set. Pretty much if I am setting up or breaking down at a convention, you will find me listening to this set.

[donathans-journal]

For the last 3 years I’ve gone to a Book Club Radio party for my birthday. It’s been so much fun to periodically meet up with this amazing community.

This last June was “Heist” themed and featured my second favorite set by Jojo since I started listening to their mixes.

If you like trance I highly recommended listening!

[chrishayley]

HOUSE OF THE DRAGON 3.08 -  The Treasons at Tumbleton

[donathans-journal]

Fav outfit on a fav character from a silly little world I’ve been hyper-fixated on these past few years again.

[donathans-journal]

“And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.” Is such a genuinely beautiful line, and it’s neat that I hadn’t read about that until now. I feel like I’ve been out of the loop on the “girly” things from my youth, but I think they are really fun to learn about now.

UPDATE: I am once again - just so oblivious of things everyone else is fully aware of 🤦‍♂️

I purchased this shirt from hot topic. I didn’t see the quote until it was being rung up and I thought- oh wow, what a cute little quote. Apparently it’s like - THE QUOTE and I just feel, so stupid.

We just rewatched the 1st movie sober, and YUP, it was right there this whole time and I never caught it.

[donathans-journal]

I discern deafly,

I trust blindly,

I comply muted,

I remain bound.

My sanity and insanity coalescence, impaired by my acquiescence.

[donathans-journal]

The concept that if someone gives too many details, then they must be lying, is absolutely untrue for neurodivergent people. This stigma has personally affected my interactions my whole life. As someone who over-explains everything, so as to be open and honest about everything, only to be considered a liar. These sort of “hard facts” have no place when speaking to someone who feels shame if they aren’t completely open about, not only topic being discussed, but any other part that they have anticipated you may also have an issue with and want to be 100% honest with you.

I personally feel unsafe around people who when the only time they are honest with me is when they have been caught doing something wrong, and they seek to preserve themselves by then being selectively honest about it, rather than being honest purely for the sake of honesty and full disclosure.

To people like me, not being honest about tangential things even when they are not specifically brought up, is a greater shame than oversharing. Shame lives in us 24/7, and if we believe we have wronged someone, even in the slightest way, or need to speak up about something in order to be 100% honest with someone we value in our lives, we need to over share or the shame will eat at us every day that we don’t.

On the flip side of this coin, to others who don’t feel this way, it can seem like the neurodivergent person is intentionally trying to bring up something simply to hurt them, or to stir the pot.

That’s not why we overshare though, we’re just trying to literally do our best with the brains we were born with.

[donathans-journal]

I’m a bit tipsy and want to rant about Taylor Swift but my brain is just empty. It’s normally an onslaught of anxious and invasive thinking that keeps me awake, but tonight it’s just dull and melancholic thoughts.

I’m thinking about how I never thought I was a contrarian, which was pretty contrarian of me to think, given that I admittedly, and regretfully, am.

I’m a bit slower than the average bear. I know this. I just feel like I started behind the eight ball and showed up late to my own birthday party, only to realize everyone had gone.

[donathans-journal]

I was a lonely kid, I grew up not fitting in anywhere and moving around a lot, I counted it once as 15 different homes by the time I reached high school. Theater became my saving grace and obsession. From ages 11-17 I preformed in 20+ full on stage productions + took as many classes as my “scholarship” with my theater would allow (need based), and was in a weekly improv troupe which I adored.

I would hang around the theater even when I wasn’t called for that day, “in case they wanted to rehearse a scene I was in”, just because it would keep me away from home and being alone.

Being a theatre kid meant I was made fun of a lot, but I was so happy with theater I could be bullied about it and it wouldn’t matter to me one bit, I was very secure in the fact that they were wrong. I was hanging around cuties and being a little hyperactive peacock, so I loved it.

The bullies that actually hurt me were my own family members. Along with girls who pretended to like me and actually didn’t, used me for “pranks”, hidden three-way calls, the kind of stuff that fucks with a sensitive and lonely boy.

When I’d get into a brawl with some back alley kids because I was too flamboyant for their sensibilities and they wanted to fight me for that, I was more than happy to throw punches over it. I knew they didn’t understand me and never would. It was only the bullying from people I liked and cared about that ever gave me strife.

So cheers to any other former lonely children, theater geeks, cinema/gaming or other media nerds, and the bullied by your own family peeps. I hope you are all living better lives than you lived in the past,

Donathan

[donathans-journal]

One of the things my therapist had me do years back was “Help people in the way they wanted to be helped “. Because I come from abuse where I will naturally try to anticipate problems and blame before they happen, and I genuinely also love to help people but hate being used or managed.

So as a solution, instead of allowing my anxiety to decide and project for others what they needed. I began to ask clear statements, like if they wanted help carrying something, or help with a challenging document, ect.

This allowed them to let me know what they actually wanted my help with, without taking away their autonomy, and allowed me to not feel used by them because I would only offer to help when I genuinely wanted to.

[donathans-journal]

Saw a guy at the last convention with scrunchies on his wrists even though his hair was short. Does it actually mean anything or was it just meaningless?

[swiftiesincenine]

6 Years Of Folklore 🩶🩶🩶🩶

Happy Birthday to one of my favorite TS Album!!!!

[donathans-journal]

Gods I love this album beyond measure.

[donathans-journal]

Time needs to stop passing without my consent.

[thenostalgiacorner]

Lambert the Sheepish Lion (1952)

[iheartblondetwinks]

the creature + his leaf Frankenstein (2025) dir. Guillermo del Toro

[donathans-journal]

My therapist once told me something that has stuck with me ever since, she said “Anger always, always comes from fear. Every single time.”

That completely changed how I’ve thought about so many situations, because for someone to be angry, it means they are afraid of losing something. Whether that be control of a situation, or someone special to them, or aura, or agency. Something or someone they care deeply about in that moment. We spend so much time trying to mask our feelings, to not come across as cringe, to not seem weak. There is nothing more freeing than allowing yourself to let go of what you can’t control, and only focus on the things you can.

Look at your feelings not as representing “who you are”, but something that you are experiencing and not in control of. You are however in control of how you react to your feelings. And no one should be judged solely by their biggest crash-outs or angriest moments. Psychology shows that when we are under extreme stress we don’t act or perceive our behavior leading up to a crash-out as different than what is typical, but we don’t get to that point from nowhere, it takes spiraling and triggering, and misunderstandings, and escalation.

It’s okay to be weak, and angry, and fearful, and vulnerable, even if it’s only to yourself, in your own time, in your own safe space. The people who truly care about you will always want the best for you, and will love you no matter what.

Define for yourself, and then try to act in ways, that follow your personal morals and values. Treat others how you wish to be treated. If you want others to treat you differently, then initiate that change first.

We can all be fearful, and jealous, and spiteful, and hurtful. It’s how we overcome those feelings by moving forward in healthy ways, developing our maturity and empathy over time, through each failure seeking to improve ourselves according to our own morals and values, that is what heals us and defines our hearts.

It’s so much easier said than done, but to stop worrying about someone else’s responsibility, holding yourself accountable, and only focus on what you are in control of, is so worthwhile.

[donathans-journal]

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[donathans-journal]

Cuddle me,

in a cold, dark room.

We’ll know the warmth beneath our covers,

is the life we’ve chosen together.