April and Saidie @donniesfangirl102 - Tumblr Blog

I can’t help but notice Leo put’s his hands on his own head in response to the idea of Raph losing his head and Donnie’s first instinct is to reach out and try to do something to help Raph.

donniesfangirl102

this part always killed me xD It was so funny idk why though

alltheturtlegifs

donniesfangirl102

that a sharpie?

tordels

I’M CRYI NG WHAT THE HELL

donniesfangirl102

I’m dying at mikey and donnie xD

donniesfangirl102

Is it just me or does donnie look like a frog?

um...

raph-the-muscle

“Happy Valentines Day!” - Raphael

donniesfangirl102

that's hot

donatellotmnt

Hey Donnie. I have heterochromia iridum - one blue eye, one brown eye. I recently moved to a new school and I'm sick of people staring at me. I'm thinking about getting coloured contacts to make my eyes match. Is that a bad idea? I'm sorry, I'm just finding the whole situation really overwhelming and I needed to vent

I think your eyes are really cool and it sucks that they stare and make you self conscious. If you do decide to get colored contacts, though, think how cool that would be to reveal. Like, show your closest friends. “Look at how my eyes really look” And then BAM! Different colored eyes!

Someday I hope you embrace that uniqueness, but I understand totally why you’d want contacts right now. Do what makes you feel good.

donniesfangirl102

no please don't, my friend Brittney has eyes like that, but one is blue and one is green. I think that looks awesome. I call her Frankie Stein because of it

raph-the-muscle

Imagine if you can bite off a huge chunk of a whole watermelon. You'd be a real snapping turtle.

A snapping turtle? I can show you a SNAPPING Turtle! And I don’t need to be eating no freaking watermelon to do it!!

that face tho xD

GAKULUKA FOREVER

Never again (depressed!reader x Raphael)

Just thinking about your secret relationship with Raphael made you stress. He had explained why he was not ready to tell his brothers that you two were a couple. Reason was simple. Well, to you at least. He was too proud. He didn’t want his brothers to see his soft side. His caring, loving side. Something you missed every day. He didn’t want to show anyone that a girl could make him feel this way and that made you question yourself. Were you good enough, were you too worried or just not ready?

Raphael and you had got into another word fight. Yelling and slamming stuff around was not so new to you anymore while fighting. You had asked him about your relationship. Where it was heading, what he wanted and was he ready.

“You always start this same conversation when we’re in a disagreement! You’re obsessed with showing me around as your pet, as your boyfriend, so you can show everyone how you claimed me!”

That really hurt you. You were not a shallow person! What made him even think like that?

“I don’t want to own you! I was just asking! I don’t want to play around anymore! It’s not easy to me either!” You yelled.

It was quiet in the lair if you weren’t fighting. Mikey, Donnie and Leo were out and Splinter was just somewhere.

“You don’t want to own me? You want to split up?” He snarled almost mockingly. “Fine! I never cared anyways! Why did we even get together? You’re so insecure and whining about how news this is to you, to feel this way against some one! You’re always questioning your sexuality shit and that are you even ready! Hell, why do I need to know what’s about to happen to us when you have no answer to it either?!”

It wasn’t like that. Of course it wasn’t. It wasn’t that easy. It was hard to you to feel this way. Always getting a precious person in your life and then be insulted and abandoned. Scared. Scared you were. More than ever. Seeing in front of your eyes that Raphael was slipping away from your grasp made your heart ache. Like someone had their fingers on your heart and they were choking it.

“You know, once you leave, there ain’t no coming back. Not like I would even need you!” Raph turned his back on you.

It was the first time you ever felt that much love. It was bigger feeling than you had ever felt against anyone before. It was killing you. And the thought of him saying things like this…

“You can drown in your pitiful life with your ‘miss who didn’t know how to love’ status! You’re heartless, you know that? You’re selfish and stupid! You were never good enough for me!” He turned his face back at you, grinning evilly. “The reason, actually, why I never told anyone of us was that you’re weak, ugly, stupid and embarrassing!”

You stepped one step away. Holding your breath your brains tried to find words to fight back but your soul just couldn’t catch it. It was like all of your happy or even caring sides had left your body. Leaving nothing more than just an empty shell, an embarrassed girl behind, in front of a bully. Seeing it all again. The bullies in your school, your first crush/first love breaking you. Just like now.

The hardest thing was, that how you ever even fell in love with a being like Raph. So egoistic he was, never ready to care. And now he was hurting you. More than nothing else.

“If you don’t ever check on a mirror you never find the reason why you are not ready.” You said steadily and head high. Trying to leave peacefully and quietly.

“I don’t ever want to see you again, bitch! You should check the mirror too! Maybe you see that ugly, embarrassing girl that I never wanted to admit to be my girlfriend!”

Just him watching you leave made his heart break. He felt you. He wanted you. He wanted to chain you up and never let you ever leave again when his brains registers that it was the last time to see you again. Never coming back. He was the one to explain it to his brothers, to Splinter, to April. He felt so bad now. Why did he say that… Maybe he was scared… Maybe he wasn’t ready or he was just confused.

His red bandana started to get wet from the corners around his eyes. He understood that he cared. And he was as broken as you were. But he wasn’t ready to admit it. He didn’t even know it until now. He had to apologise! He wasn’t ready to let you slip past his fingers! He would tell everyone that you were his girl, his baby girl and his only.

When you got home you started crying. Why had he said so? He was like a devil! Ruining your life. Making it miserable.

So long trying to keep it in. The need. The hope. The shame. The blade.

Wanting this more than ever before, every emotion every need getting stronger and stronger. Like wanting to give up.

When you had swelled in your helplessness you took a razor to your hands. A shining, sharp blades calling for you. To feel that ah so melancholy sadness and the pain and to see the blood. To show yourself you were not okay. You needed something concrete and something to make sense with your soul and body. To make them whole again. It was like your soul was ripping itself away from your body.

The first cut was light, so you could see how sharp it was. You kept cutting and about after fifth cut you started to see some blood.

After another cut you kept going until you had long, deep and ugly open wounds on your arm. So big that it would be hard to try to hide them.

“(Y/n)?” You turned to look. It was Raphael! He was standing on your balcony, horrid look on his face. “Oh no…”

A new, humiliating feeling rushing in every little part of your body and soul making you panic. Embarrassed. Yo didn’t want anyone to see you while doing this or even anyone seeing your cuts bleed. It was only for your eyes. A one girl show.

“(Y/n) what have you done?”

You looked down on your arm, your bed, your hand dripping blood on your blanket.

“I’m cleaning” you said calmly. You were a bit off from the blood loss. “Nothing I haven’t tried before.”

“You’ve done this before?!” Raphael gasped.

You nodded and blinked slowly, starting to drift off.

“Why are you here? I’m not good enough for you. You shouldn’t be here.” You mumbled, about to cut again.

“(Y/n) no! Put that thing on the floor, okay? Just for a second. Okay?” Raph started sneaking closer but you were getting so sleepy that you didn’t notice. “I’m so sorry what I said! I just… Just please don’t hurt yourself! I can’t live without you!”

“I would keep living, just for you? No… I can’t. I don’t want to be bullied or left alone again…” You mumbled, raising the razor close to your arm.

“(Y/n)!! NO!!” Raph was in a second next to you and threw the blade away from you. He locked you in his strong embrace, like he was never again letting go.

“I’ll call Donnie, (y/n). Everything will be alright, okay? He’ll stitch you up and you’ll be like a new girl! Just please! Hang on just for a couple seconds! Don’t leave me…”

“You left…” You mumbled, tired. “I don’t own you nothing” you said stubbornly.

“Yes you do! You own me everything! And I own you! You can’t go before we’re even!”

“(Y/n)? Hey! Baby? WAKE UP!! PLEASE!!” He sobbed between deep, hyperventilating breaths. “Donnie… Hurry…” He cried, burying his head into your hair.

donniesfangirl102

did I die? I hope so

tmntfandom2012-moved

when Leo said "I love you bro"... THE FEELS

*Gross Sobbing*

donniesfangirl102

I was legit crying

raph-the-muscle

How are you Raphael?

I am doing pretty good actually. I think I am starting to get a hang of all this space stuff.

raph-the-muscle

Okay raph I will tell the dream I had with you 2 months ago so I will skip the whole into the ending I will say after I have save you and other cartoon people and this part I'm going to be unished so you came up to me hug me and kiss me the head

Yeah well, that ain’t happening.