This is the world you wake up in @donnyclaws - Tumblr Blog

Caelan/Donny 🍒 (it/they) white + tme + 25 + Aotearoa nz

Multimedia monster, horror fan, alt drag thing, disabled AND most importantly stupid.

Neocities Youtube Instagram Kofi Itch.io Toyhous.e Patreon

(DNI if under 18) nudity, sexual topics, body horror abound

Titane: I got close so I ran

Got reminded by a re-read to put this up publicly. Very happy with how it turned out still. Great movie I can never watch again.

#art tag #sexual trauma tw #implied incest tw #i should've put that in the page text warning too #sexual assault tw

donnyclaws

Vessel

#srb #nudity #suggestive #ill probably make some zine on these topics but smth smth #developing sexuality in isolation to other people is such a layered humiliating experience #having sexual expression / engaging with people be a goal of mine at 25 i dont think ill experience till my 30s if ever is also humiliating #something thats very natural and easy for other people to do is just completely marred and distorted here and threatening but also #important and intrinsic #i can see the ways that experiencing a positive controlled sexuality would really help me but i have to do grotesque work to get there #theres no sense of having it come to me or love finding you when youre not ready or good yet but someone can offer you #that patience #when you're the odd one out of experiencing romance or sex it just feels like there's a reason for it #it feels predatory to want it like itd be cruel and unfair to another person if they had me.#it doesnt feel responsible it doesnt feel ethical to be in a relationship for the other persons sake.#there's too much deep rooted baggage and fear and distance in me #anyway #if i dont make art or write about it ill die ect

Vessel

#art tag #nudity #suggestive

saturnalian-sickle

Embryo tribute to @donnyclaws .

Thank you for creating beautiful ugly things like us.

#i am so so so moved by this this is so lovely #and evocative #i lovee how dim and wombful this lighting is #ty so much let's all make strange important art forever

ookamimonster

art fight for @donnyclaws

#I FORGOT TO RB THIS #still so chuffed abt it it looks like a beautiful brain in this lighting #and i love the wild wild eyes

donnyclaws

Outstanding lack of patience for drawing atp

#srb #suggestive #nudity

donnyclaws

Barren sketches & suicide musings (last 2 unrelated). Which I've written a lot about today, this is just a little notes summerisation. It's a part of the story's focus that I think is really difficult, the focus is difficult. It's not even really about suicide, it's not even really about what people should or shouldn't do differently. It just need to catch all angles of the feeling through these characters, with Endalla representing Mosaic, and Damian representing the harbor.

#srb #suicide mention

really liked the new comic, sorry to ask but is it ever possible you could make your music playlist public on yt again ?? ofc sorry if this is weird to ask but I truly wish nothing but the best for you, I’ve been following for multiple years

Thank you sm, I forgot I had a public playlist like that. I fear it has long since been deleted </3

Outstanding lack of patience for drawing atp

#art tag #tiger crawl home #endalla #taurcoast #damian #nudity #suggestive #aran #technically

donnyclaws

Something ugly I've been speaking through since August 2025. Trying to present some coherent testimony of my life, which isn't feasible to achieve. I wanted it to be so controlled, and instead I realized I was plural in the middle of it, and it became a dissociative argument of a diary that just kept revealing more and more. It's captured a couple months of upsetting, destructive work in us and attempts to control our own feelings about it, the presentations of it, be nice cause no one's entirely happy about the idea of releasing something that feels so unpolished or repetitive, or full of things I still don't know how to live with. But I also don't think there's enough ways to shape a sentence that would make anyone feel right. And I don't think there is ever a stopping point I could have reached naturally, if I had just kept writing. I want it out of my body now.

I'm in therapy.

#srb #sexual trauma mention #incest mention #suggestive #unreality #one more bc it's a hard night #i probably will keep working through it in similar pieces like these. i feel such an unbearable need to make sense of this #and externalize it

youve made me feel less isolated about certain topics i dont know what to say but thnak you

thank you too, i wish things were kinder

your new zine is gorgeous and raw, makes me want to create one of my own now. i never thought i would see someone else struggle with a similar mind issue (?) with my parents. feels strange knowing i'm not exactly alone

Thank you so much. You should, even if it's just for yourself. I went back and forth on this a lot but ultimately it was really useful for working through shit.

#mind issue is as good of a summarization as any #i also dont really know what to call this experience or this type of behaviour and effect from a parent lmao.

donnyclaws

Something ugly I've been speaking through since August 2025. Trying to present some coherent testimony of my life, which isn't feasible to achieve. I wanted it to be so controlled, and instead I realized I was plural in the middle of it, and it became a dissociative argument of a diary that just kept revealing more and more. It's captured a couple months of upsetting, destructive work in us and attempts to control our own feelings about it, the presentations of it, be nice cause no one's entirely happy about the idea of releasing something that feels so unpolished or repetitive, or full of things I still don't know how to live with. But I also don't think there's enough ways to shape a sentence that would make anyone feel right. And I don't think there is ever a stopping point I could have reached naturally, if I had just kept writing. I want it out of my body now.

I'm in therapy.

#srb #sexual trauma mention #incest mention #suggestive #unreality

forever thankful for tiger crawl home, i remember diving into whatever u made of it starting all the way back when the dreams animation meme was popular. damien has fr been a super influential and meaningful character in my life... always wondered why. next week i'm getting evaluated for aspd. this process has been long and shit. your wet rat-thing has given me something to think abt while i just keep pushing forward with whtever is in front of me instead of the alternative. tysm for creating it

Thank you so much wow, that was so 8 years ago, that feels crazy. But I'm glad you have something to help understand yourself by now, I'm late to replying but good luck w the assessment, it's no fun trying to argue for your experience to professionals so I hope it went as smooth as it could. I also keep realizing disorders by unconsciously putting them onto Damian first (plural/schizotypal), its disordered whelp effect knows no bounds.

Thank you so much for being raw and honest about the reality of survival. I genuinely deeply appreciate it man. It makes me feel less crazy for being an imperfect victim in 1,000 ways, and for having an extremely flawed recovery. Adore your work

Of course, I have to, I'm also looking to make myself feel less isolated in the experience. So I really appreciate that, thank you so much too.

Something ugly I've been speaking through since August 2025. Trying to present some coherent testimony of my life, which isn't feasible to achieve. I wanted it to be so controlled, and instead I realized I was plural in the middle of it, and it became a dissociative argument of a diary that just kept revealing more and more. It's captured a couple months of upsetting, destructive work in us and attempts to control our own feelings about it, the presentations of it, be nice cause no one's entirely happy about the idea of releasing something that feels so unpolished or repetitive, or full of things I still don't know how to live with. But I also don't think there's enough ways to shape a sentence that would make anyone feel right. And I don't think there is ever a stopping point I could have reached naturally, if I had just kept writing. I want it out of my body now.

I'm in therapy.

#art tag #sexual trauma mention #incest mention #suggestive #idk what else to tag #unreality #maybe

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This is the world you wake up in