Cheap Trick and a cheesy one liner.

Tony Stark. Iron Man. You know who I am.

[darcywho]

'So, I hear you might work for me again. Since I didn't realise you'd stopped, the transition should be pretty seamless. What are your demands on the Enterprise, Bones?'

“Well. A new office would be nice since Harry apparently firebombed the last one.”

“But really? You didn’t notice that I wasn’t around? I find that a little hard to believe.”

[dontwaitupformehoney]

“I do high level negotiations, the real big picture stuff. HR will sort out the detail with you. Where did you go anyway? Fixing the universe one space cold at a time?”

[darcywho]

“The upstate facility. I’m surprised you didn’t know I was asked to be the director of operations there.”

[dontwaitupformehoney]

"What can I say? It's been a busy few months, and apparently I haven't had an assistant."

[darcywho]

'So, I hear you might work for me again. Since I didn't realise you'd stopped, the transition should be pretty seamless. What are your demands on the Enterprise, Bones?'

“Well. A new office would be nice since Harry apparently firebombed the last one.”

“But really? You didn’t notice that I wasn’t around? I find that a little hard to believe.”

[dontwaitupformehoney]

“I have a gift with book titles. And if they ever invent the Assistant Grammys, you’re a shoo-in.”

[darcywho]

“But okay. You want me to work specifically for you again. What’s the deal, King Kirk?” 

[dontwaitupformehoney]

“I do high level negotiations, the real big picture stuff. HR will sort out the detail with you. Where did you go anyway? Fixing the universe one space cold at a time?”

[darcywho]

'So, I hear you might work for me again. Since I didn't realise you'd stopped, the transition should be pretty seamless. What are your demands on the Enterprise, Bones?'

“Well. A new office would be nice since Harry apparently firebombed the last one.”

“But really? You didn’t notice that I wasn’t around? I find that a little hard to believe.”

[dontwaitupformehoney]

“She- Gotta stop letting her loose in the office. Even if she does scare the interns.”

“Hey, assistants come, assistants go. It’s the terrible alternative title to my autobiography.”

[darcywho]

“Nah, ‘Cheap Trick and a Cheesy One-liner’ sounds better. But even you have to admit, I made one hell of an assistant.”

[dontwaitupformehoney]

"I have a gift with book titles. And if they ever invent the Assistant Grammys, you're a shoo-in."

[darcywho]

'So, I hear you might work for me again. Since I didn't realise you'd stopped, the transition should be pretty seamless. What are your demands on the Enterprise, Bones?'

“Well. A new office would be nice since Harry apparently firebombed the last one.”

“But really? You didn’t notice that I wasn’t around? I find that a little hard to believe.”

[dontwaitupformehoney]

"She- Gotta stop letting her loose in the office. Even if she does scare the interns.”

"Hey, assistants come, assistants go. It's the terrible alternative title to my autobiography."

[wingheadshellhead]

[knightinironarmor]

#inspired by tumblr user knightinironarmor + her whole-hearted dedication to the sunglasses as eye armor aesthetic

OH MY GOSH CLAUDIA I’M GONNA CRY 

[dontwaitupformehoney]

Who Needs Tomorrow? [closed RP]

[dontwaitupformehoney]

he’thatsmswatsonthanks

“I think so.” Harriet leans back against her boyfriend. The microwave gives a shrill ping - the vegetables are ready. “Am I helping serve?”

It takes a few minutes - one steak nearly ends up on the floor, and Tony ends up summoning a spare Iron Man gauntlet to re-heat the rapidly cooling vegetables - but eventually they’re sitting back at the table.

“To us,” she raises her glass before half-draining it. Oxblood drops race down the inside of the glass. “I spoke to Darcy earlier. About… about what you said this morning.”

“I say a lot of things in a day, baby.” Some might say too much, but he’d never been big on public opinion when it involved keeping him quiet and pliant. Genius worked in mysterious ways - who were they to question his methods? “You’re gonna have to be way more specific.” He took a gulp from his own glass, having applied that genius to figuring out what she wanted to talk about and coming up with something he really didn’t want to mention again. What had he been thinking, asking her to move in? They weren’t ready for that. They weren’t some couple who lived in each others’ pockets and wanted to spend all of their time together. (Except, a traitorous little part of his brain pointed out, you kinda do want to spend all of your time with her. He promptly took another drink of wine and ignored it.)

Deciding to employ a diversionary tactic, he looked over at her with a lazy grin. Fuck, her beauty always seemed to sneak up on him, smacking him like a sledgehammer wielded by... well, by him. “Did I tell you how beautiful you look tonight, by the way?”

[dontwaitupformehoney]

Who Needs Tomorrow? [closed RP]

[dontwaitupformehoney]

thatsmswatsonthanks

The dope’s already flooding her brain, eyeballs misting over pleasantly as she takes another drag. The part of her brain warning her that she’s never been one to stop at just a joint is switched off for the evening.

“Oh, will you have time?” She calls. “I thought you were lavishing your attention on me for at least the next six to eight hours.” Harriet leans back with a sigh. Smoke rises in ribbons from the end of her finger as Extremis re-lights the spliff. Her nose twitches.

“So - no work talk. That makes things difficult since I’ve been working pretty much non-stop since last I saw you.”

“You’ll just have to get creative,” Tony called back through, picking up the instructions and squinting down at them. ‘Baste in butter.’ What in the holy hell did baste mean? God, say ‘impressive but easy’ and some cordon bleu asshole starts telling you to cover meat in fats to keep it moist - though he sent up a silent thank you to the assholes at Google for making that part easy at least.

He put the steaks in the pan with a chunk of butter, letting the butter melt and rattling around for a spoon to tip the juices over with. While he could totally follow a recipe - despite some people claiming otherwise - he was still haphazardly searching for other ingredients (wine, for his patience) and reading over the words as though they might have changed in the ten seconds since he’d looked last. Having no idea how long he’d been in the kitchen, he was getting by on Youtube videos and what his steak usually looked like when it was brought to him.

All in all, he’d had more successful starts to date nights.

[thatsmswatsonthanks]

Fifteen minutes is a long time for your boyfriend to put something in the oven. Especially when you’ve been left sans wine.  “Everything okay?” Harriet slips off her heels and pads back indoors. “What - wow, that smells… amazing?” She doesn’t try to keep the surprise from her voice.

“You - Tony, oh, come here,” She stifles a giggle. He’s got butter and oil spattered all over his shirt, there’s sweat glistening on the back of his neck and he’s frowning so hard he looks like the little black-and-white photo of his father that he thinks Harriet’s never seen. “You… go and change your shirt. I’ll keep an eye on things. You like it rare, right?” 

Joint hanging from the corner of her mouth, she gives the sauté pan a quick shake. They do it on television. And she’s been to enough steak restaurants - including the one where the chef made them ‘help’, which Harry said was ridiculous and that, given the price, shouldn’t they be wholly excluded from any labour-intensive processes - to know when it’s cooked. 

[dontwaitupformehoney]

When Tony re-emerged downstairs, in a clean shirt and a subtle hint of fresh cologne, he went straight for the wine. Pouring out two fresh glasses, he leaned against the kitchen counter and watched Harry work.

For ten seconds, it was even entertaining.

Coming over and lifting the joint from her mouth to take a drag for himself, he found two serving plates in a cupboard he could’ve sworn once only held a margarita machine. “We on track?”

[dontwaitupformehoney]

Who Needs Tomorrow? [closed RP]

[dontwaitupformehoney]

thatsmswatsonthanks

The dope’s already flooding her brain, eyeballs misting over pleasantly as she takes another drag. The part of her brain warning her that she’s never been one to stop at just a joint is switched off for the evening.

“Oh, will you have time?” She calls. “I thought you were lavishing your attention on me for at least the next six to eight hours.” Harriet leans back with a sigh. Smoke rises in ribbons from the end of her finger as Extremis re-lights the spliff. Her nose twitches.

“So - no work talk. That makes things difficult since I’ve been working pretty much non-stop since last I saw you.”

“You’ll just have to get creative,” Tony called back through, picking up the instructions and squinting down at them. ‘Baste in butter.’ What in the holy hell did baste mean? God, say ‘impressive but easy’ and some cordon bleu asshole starts telling you to cover meat in fats to keep it moist - though he sent up a silent thank you to the assholes at Google for making that part easy at least.

He put the steaks in the pan with a chunk of butter, letting the butter melt and rattling around for a spoon to tip the juices over with. While he could totally follow a recipe - despite some people claiming otherwise - he was still haphazardly searching for other ingredients (wine, for his patience) and reading over the words as though they might have changed in the ten seconds since he’d looked last. Having no idea how long he’d been in the kitchen, he was getting by on Youtube videos and what his steak usually looked like when it was brought to him.

All in all, he’d had more successful starts to date nights.

[dontwaitupformehoney]

Who Needs Tomorrow? [closed RP]

[dontwaitupformehoney]

thatsmswatsonthanks

Most SHIELD employees, Avengers team members and indeed, anyone who has ever met Tony Stark, believe he is mostly incapable of opening his mouth and not saying something flirtatious, at least once a day. Harriet agrees, and for all she tried to convince herself that Tony won’t be any different to any man she’s ever met, his comment about her legs still hits her right in the stomach.

“Dazzling? I’m supposed to be dazzled, am I?” She crosses her legs, wincing as the red welts currently decorating her ass rub against the wicker. Jeez, worlds’ wealthiest businessman and he couldn’t get chairs with cushions? “Well, I’m sure dinner will be impressive. I’ve only eaten a dry tuna sandwich since breakfast. And breakfast was half a glass of orange juice and a cigarette I bummed off Clint.”

“Not yet,” Tony corrected, gaze drifting down to watch as one leg crossed elegantly over the other - and it took a little while for his eyes to meet hers again. “I’m good, but not even I work that fast.”

Grabbing both wine glasses, he stood up, nodding at the remainder of the joint smouldering in the ashtray. “All yours if you want it. I’m just gonna go follow some insultingly precise instructions about how to turn the oven on. Remind me to stick my Master’s degree to the kitchen door before tomorrow morning.”

[dontwaitupformehoney]

Who Needs Tomorrow? [closed RP]

[dontwaitupformehoney]

thatsmswatsonthanks

He tastes of tobacco and smells of engine oil. Harry blushes. “It’s my blouse for church. Which you’d know, if you ever took up my invitation for holy redemption.” She settles her skirt around her knees once she’s sitting. The wicker will leave a mark on the back of her thighs. There’s already some bruising there from last Saturday night.

“And what will you be feeding me? I presume some chef has been hard at work in the kitchen.”

The joint’s poised invitingly against a crystal ashtray that cost more than her outfit, and she indulges herself with a long, languid drag.

“It’s on my to-do list,” he told her, taking the opportunity to glance over her again. “Right after alpaca farming and going vegan.” 

Looking at the bareness of the table, he headed through the patio doors, re-emerging a few moments later with two sizeable glasses of wine. “I dunno what it is, but it smells incredible,” he admitted, handing the glass to her as he took his seat once more.

Sparing another look at the priceless view of the city, he raised his glass in a makeshift toast. Just something he’d cobbled together, off the cuff really. Not prior thought on the balance between casual and heartfelt whatsoever. “To tonight. ‘Cos when you look that good, the world’s kinda your oyster.”

[thatsmswatsonthanks]

“Last time we had oysters you got tabasco sauce all over your new white jacket,” Harriet leans back in her chair. 

She ponders the image of Tony farming alpacas for a moment, but stumbles at the thought of him in a pair of half-buttoned overalls. 

“How was work? I promise you I did try and read that research paper. I never knew you could be so dull.” 

[dontwaitupformehoney]

“Metaphor, baby.” Tony knew that she knew that, but it’d never stopped him saying anything before. “And you were wearing that dress with the slit so high that when you crossed your legs, my hand slipped.”

Twirling the stem of the wine glass between his fingers, he raised an eyebrow at her. One of the first things that had attracted him was her refusal to be impressed by how brilliant his work was - but sometimes he’d have liked to hear a little bit more about his genius from her.

Still, there was a quirk to his lips as he answered. “Let’s not talk about work. Tonight’s goal is dazzling, not dull - and if you tell me about SHIELD and your conference call, I’ll be passed out before our entree.”

[dontwaitupformehoney]

Who Needs Tomorrow? [closed RP]

[dontwaitupformehoney]

thatsmswatsonthanks

He tastes of tobacco and smells of engine oil. Harry blushes. “It’s my blouse for church. Which you’d know, if you ever took up my invitation for holy redemption.” She settles her skirt around her knees once she’s sitting. The wicker will leave a mark on the back of her thighs. There’s already some bruising there from last Saturday night.

“And what will you be feeding me? I presume some chef has been hard at work in the kitchen.”

The joint’s poised invitingly against a crystal ashtray that cost more than her outfit, and she indulges herself with a long, languid drag.

“It’s on my to-do list,” he told her, taking the opportunity to glance over her again. “Right after alpaca farming and going vegan.” 

Looking at the bareness of the table, he headed through the patio doors, re-emerging a few moments later with two sizeable glasses of wine. “I dunno what it is, but it smells incredible,” he admitted, handing the glass to her as he took his seat once more.

Sparing another look at the priceless view of the city, he raised his glass in a makeshift toast. Just something he’d cobbled together, off the cuff really. Not prior thought on the balance between casual and heartfelt whatsoever. “To tonight. ‘Cos when you look that good, the world’s kinda your oyster.”

[dontwaitupformehoney]

Who Needs Tomorrow? [closed RP]

The table was set, lights dimmed, and the white was chilling in a bucket by the table as the red settled at the perfect temperature. With the room cool enough to require some jacket-related chivalry and a dinner prepared by someone who didn’t take three hours to make an omelette, what could go wrong?

Tony had settled himself on one of the chairs on the terrace, jacket slung over the back and sparking up the slim cigarette in his mouth. Inhaling deeply, he settled back against the wicker and surveyed the city before him. Objecting to the planning permission for the hotel a few blocks down had been a great decision - New York was spread out before him. 

A couple of drags later, smoke drifting off towards the horizon, JARVIS piped up with the news that Ms Watson was in the elevator. “She knows where to find me,” he called back through, propping his feet up on the table and setting the joint in the ashtray, clattering slightly against the glass.

[thatsmswatsonthanks]

“Yes she does,” Harriet calls in a sing-song voice as JARVIS passes on the message.

White blouse that she usually wears to church, floral-patterned skirt Darcy picked out for her last time they went shopping and a pair of snakeskin-effect heels - also Darcy’s choice. It’s casual enough, but still, y’know. Datey. 

She couldn’t hide her smile at seeing Tony if she tried. And in public, she will try. But since the closest thing they have to company is JARVIS, she even sashays a little faster towards the patio. “Good evening, Mr Stark.” 

She hardly notices the view. She admired it when they first started dating. The whole of Central Park’s south-west corner spread out, seemingly for the two of them and no-one else. The traffic below forms moving constellations, with a background of horns, smog and yelling audible even from up here. 

[dontwaitupformehoney]

Tony stood as he heard her voice, lazy but willing, and he wrapped his arm around her waist and brushed a brief kiss to her lips. While his body wanted to rebel at the quickness of the touch, he had a whole night - and a pesky living situation to settle first - to do more.

“When you said you were picking an outfit, I was thinking a lot more lace but a lot less fabric,” he admitted, openly glancing over her outfit. “In fact, you look so much like a good girl that I should call the Better Business Bureau on you.”

Releasing her, he settled back down on the chair, kicking back and nudging the ashtray towards her. “Go on. I wanna see the bad girl I know and- know before I feed you.”

[dontwaitupformehoney]

Who Needs Tomorrow? [closed RP]

The table was set, lights dimmed, and the white was chilling in a bucket by the table as the red settled at the perfect temperature. With the room cool enough to require some jacket-related chivalry and a dinner prepared by someone who didn’t take three hours to make an omelette, what could go wrong?

Tony had settled himself on one of the chairs on the terrace, jacket slung over the back and sparking up the slim cigarette in his mouth. Inhaling deeply, he settled back against the wicker and surveyed the city before him. Objecting to the planning permission for the hotel a few blocks down had been a great decision - New York was spread out before him. 

A couple of drags later, smoke drifting off towards the horizon, JARVIS piped up with the news that Ms Watson was in the elevator. “She knows where to find me,” he called back through, propping his feet up on the table and setting the joint in the ashtray, clattering slightly against the glass.

[thatsmswatsonthanks]

morning

[dontwaitupformehoney]

Oh, look at that, you've twisted my arm.

[dontwaitupformehoney]

[know that feeling. plus i will say congrats to darcy on the serious promotion cos you know tony will be so quietly happy that it’s drowned out by his ‘me me me’ outer monologue]

[darcywho]

[well really it’s all tony’s fault for turning her into the responsible one.]

[dontwaitupformehoney]

[something he likes describing as his ‘real superpower’]

[thatsmswatsonthanks]

morning

[dontwaitupformehoney]

Train? Really? I’ll send a car. Gimme a call when you’re ready and it’ll be waiting.

[thatsmswatsonthanks]

I’ll start picking an outfit out. Feels like I haven’t seen you in forever.

[dontwaitupformehoney]

Well, on the outfit front, little, nothing, I’m easy either way. 

[dontwaitupformehoney]

[I had no idea how long! I’m so glad you’re here and Darcy’s here and I am just a warm fuzzy ball rn]

[darcywho]

[of course i’m here. it’s like ride or die at this point. sold my soul to the muse, y’know]

[dontwaitupformehoney]

[know that feeling. plus i will say congrats to darcy on the serious promotion cos you know tony will be so quietly happy that it's drowned out by his 'me me me' outer monologue]