So one year for charity different pro athletes get asked to participate in a live game based on one of those “how well do you know your partner” games but instead it’s “how well do you know your rival” and participating means you get to raise money for a charity of your choice and obviously Shane and Ilya want to promote the Irina Project so they agree and go up against other current famous rivals from other sports
And Shane and Ilya discuss ahead of time that obviously they’ll have to just play things off as they usually do, light hearted chirps back and forth and what not, “winning” is just for the show and won’t impact how much money gets made for their charity so it doesn’t matter. Except then they get there and become overtaken by the need to Win and Be the Best and they are the best. So without needing to discuss changing the plan, as soon as the questions start they lock in and decide that actually they have to demolish everyone else
The other rivals are laughing and making jokes at the questions but Shane and Ilya are deadly serious and the host starts to get a little weirded out by the fact that they actually know the answers and aren’t just saying things like “how many goals last season? Probably one less than me haha” and actually have each others stats memorized
Because the audience is loving it they go to a lightning round that’s just Shane and Ilya and it’s now the usual couple game questions and they’re still getting them right because they can make excuses for knowing later, right now is about Winning
“What is Shane’s favorite breakfast?”
“Kale protein shake with a scoop of peanut butter and a handful of blueberries.”
“Ok um, what is Ilya’s favorite breakfast?”
“Two sausage egg McMuffins with an extra slice of cheese and hashbrowns.”
“What is something on Shane’s bucket list?”
“Sleeping in one of those see through igloos under the northern lights.”
“What is something on Ilya’s bucket list?”
“That thing where you feed giraffes at a zoo.”
“Ok last one. I think we all know Shane’s answer is former paramour Rose Landry, but who do you think is the most famous person Rozanov has ever slept with is?”
*through teeth gritted so tight he is in danger of chipping one* “Probably a model. Or something.”
“… Yeah, let’s go with that.”
Years later when they’re out Shane reshares the clip and the only non-PR approved thing he says on the matter is “It was me, by the way. I am the most famous person Rozanov has ever slept with.”
I wonder what Shane would look like if he hadn't met Ilya at 17 and locked the fuck in (protestations aside). Shane is a man of routine. He likes hockey, all he's gonna do is hockey. He likes Ilya, all he's gonna do is Ilya. I think he's also someone that appreciates neat, organized labels. He likes Ilya the most, Ilya's a man, so he's gay. But I am curious what his sexuality might have looked like without that. Or if there was a 3rd hockey GOAT out there as a real romantic rival. I think it's funny the only other person he pursued a romantic relationship with was* an acclaimed actress that won an Oscar by 22, one of the youngest women to do so ever... who also knew hockey. If Shane Hollander had only met mediocre people, he never would have had a boyfriend or girlfriend. Just endless unsatisfying hookups for the MHL's/Cosmo's number one. That would be kinda sad. Glad he gets epic sex.
At least once a year when the Raiders come to town Ilya reactivates his inner fuckboi and goes out with his boys who are still on the team, goes hard at the club, wears something objectively hideous, steals someone's Raider's ballcap and throws it on backwards. Phone buzzing in his pocket all night while he ignores it (this is Part of the Game) and when he finally closes out his tab after midnight he sees that someone has changed his contact for Shane back to 'Jane' and that 'Jane' has been blowing up his phone for the last few hours
Jane: Are we still on for tonight?
Jane: ???
Jane: Rozanov.
Jane: Fuck you I'm not going to just wait around for you all night.
Jane: Asshole.
Ilya just smirks to himself and replies with a room number.
And the thing is that they do actually have to be a bit sneaky. It wouldn't do for someone to draw some false conclusions about why one half of the most scrutinized marriage in the NHL is loitering in a random hotel lobby in Ottawa on a Thursday evening. Ilya doesn't want that kind of publicity and he does not want to try to explain that it's not what it looks like to his in-laws.
So there's a thrill to it when he scans the keycard into the reader and Shane is sitting there in the dark, breath heavy like he's nervous or like he's just run up six flights of stairs to avoid elevator cameras.
(It's both)
And yeah maybe it breaks kayfabe a bit that Shane already had the room key or that he's wearing his Centaurs team crewneck instead of the Metros one that he would have been wearing in this scenario years ago (because he threw them all out in a fit of pique and Ilya cheered him on) but the hotel room is dark and the only difference in the crewnecks is that the number 24 over the breast is red instead of blue.
He's even combed his hair down over his forehead. Fuck.
"Where the fuck have you been," Shane says, cornering Ilya as soon as the door is closed. "I've been sitting here like a fucking idiot, Rozanov."
"Relax, Hollander," Ilya coos, angling Shane's face with a hand on his jaw, and Shane tries to jerk away and Ilya steels his grip and then the game is really on.
After the Fanmail video drops, Scott reluctantly gossips to a shocked Kip, who may or may not be deciding if he should pitch the Housespouses of Hockey to Andy Cohen...
TFW the guy you've been obsessed with for 10 years finally lets you visit his actual apartment, not the sex condo he bought for your secret hookups, so you're giddy, but ya gotta be cool so you deflect by negging him, then also find out he fucks himself with Cookie Monster's dick.
So maybe when your "best friend" always tried to set you up and talk about your personal life, even though it made you uncomfortable, then still complained even after he found out you're in a committed relationship bc he thought your significant other was annoying, then constantly disrespected him, you, and your relationship, and encouraged other friends to fix you up with someone new, but still trusted you and your bf with his children when babysitting emergencies presented themselves, then your bf almost died and he didn't reach out to him or you to check in, and he also questioned your professionalism bc of who you've been dating long-term and might be lk homophobic... you get angry.
Movies Hollanov Watched at the Cottage: Harry Potter - Shane's pick. He was obsessed with Harry/DanRad. As a teen he went on a trip to NYC with his parents and they surprised him with tickets to Equus on Broadway starring Daniel Radcliffe. Had no idea what it was about. Later, he thought he'd die of mortification.
The first time Shane and Ilya go to Ottawa pride, Shane doesn't really want to. But Harris has been talking about how its one of his favorite days for weeks and Ilya lights up like a little kid every time it comes up, so Shane is going.
So is Troy, who seems equally enthusiastic, so at least Shane isn't alone.
But he still worries when he sees Ilya all decked out in a rainbow tank top that has to be at least a size too small. He glances down at his own outfit, something he'd wear any other day, and asks,
"should I change?"
Ilya cocks his head and goes "do you want to?"
And Shane doesn't have to answer he very clearly does not want to.
"I just worry that-"
"that people will not know you are gay? I think I can help with that." Ilya smirks and grabs Shane's ass. Shane shoves him away but he's smiling.
They meet Harris and Troy in a parking garage a few blocks from the parade and Shane comes close to laughing because Harris is wearing a flag as a cape and Troy is wearing jeans and a centaurs t shirt.
"see?" Ilya says "you can wear whatever"
"I actually have something for you," Harris says, and hands both Shane and Troy a baseball cap with the terrible centaurs pride logo.
"they were a limited run and they didn't sell well," he explains. Shane gets why. But he likes the hat. It feels manageable.
The parade still doesn't quite feel manageable. He can already hear the crowd, and he knows, just KNOWS that in just a few minutes, for better or worse, all of their attention is going to be directed at HIM. That's where it always ends up.
"Shane?" He hadn't realized he was staring off into space until Ilya brings him back to earth. "We do not have to go"
"you really want to," Shane says.
"yes," Ilya shrugs, "but if you turn this around," he starts to turn Shane's baseball cap backwards, "I won't be able to resist taking you home and fucking you."
"Ilya! This is what does it for you?"
"You do it for me, Hollander"
Shane turns the cap backwards and grabs Ilya's hand. "Let's go see a parade"
"you are trying to kill me?"
"maybe!" Shane laughs.
They all walk down the parking garage stairs and it hits Shane that he's holding Ilya's hand. They're in his hometown, on the streets he grew up on, at a parade he never imagined he'd be able to attend. Ilya is beaming.
"it is not like this in Russia," he says when Shane asks a silent question. "If there was a parade for people like us, it would be called 'Shame,' not Pride." He offers a little laugh at his joke, but there is sadness behind his eyes. Shane kisses him, deep and insistent. Harris cheers. So do a few strangers.
There it is. Recognition. Finally. Shane breaks the kiss preparing himself for the conversation. But it doesn't happen, even when they pull apart and let the strangers see their faces. It's a couple teenagers. Shane wonders if they've ever seen a hockey game. He has to remind himself it's not sad if they haven't.
"saved by the nerds, huh?" Troy says, and Shane nearly chokes laughing.
They find a place to watch the parade and Shane ends up on the end of their row next to another teenager, maybe 16 or so. But he's not a nerd. He sees Shane and his eyes go wide with recognition.
"Shane Hollander?"
Shane nods, and behind him, Ilya leans over to look at the kid, tightening his grip on Shane's hand like he's daring the kid to say something stupid.
"I joined the baseball team," the kid says.
"that's great," Shane says. He's had weirder interactions with fans.
"I came out when I was 13 and kind of thought that meant I would never play sports again? But then we had you and Troy Barret, and I really missed baseball, and I know it's not always going to be easy, but you have it all, you know? Maybe I can too. Probably not, like, professionally because I'm terrible and I want to be a historian but it's really fun and I missed it a lot. So thank you."
Shane stammers for a second. He has a dozen media perfected answers for every possible question but no fucking clue what to say to this kid.
"I was the opposite," Ilya says over his shoulder. "I started playing hockey very young and thought that my sexuality would just stay in a box for the rest of my life. We are the same now though," he says to the kid, "Shane Hollander made me think maybe I could have everything."
"I'm glad you're playing baseball," Shane says around something he doesn't want to talk about in his throat.
"do you want a picture with them?" Harris asks. Shane forgot he was there.
They take a picture with the kid and sign the little flag he's holding and turn back towards the parade.
Ilya puts an arm around Shane's shoulders.
"this is why I wanted to come," he says. "I like these fans."
Shane does too.
He also doesn't mind knowing he's with the hottest person here. When the parade starts, Ilya dances along to the music. Shane lets himself get pulled into it, lets himself laugh when Ilya lifts up their arms to spin around, lets himself just be.
They go home having signed more autographs and taken more photos, but it didn't make Shane tired like it usually does. He thinks it's because he never stopped being himself to sign them. He didn't have to pause his personal life and stuff it down. These people were excited for all of him. Even the gay part. Hell, maybe ESPECIALLY the gay part.
Ilya kisses the back of his hand as he drives. "Now, we have to do something about that hat," he purrs.
"what are you going to do about it?" Shane smirks
"Shane! I will die before I can get home to fuck you if you keep teasing like this!"
Shane had been worried. But it turned out to be a pretty great day.
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