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Really stressed out by the internet recently

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I did really well in my classes this semester, I’ve done fine every year so far, all A’s blah blah blah but I feel unsatisfied like I’m not engaged enough or my mind isn’t being pushed far enough idk I feel stagnant and I realize this is a privileged place to be in and that makes me feel sick bc ...... I’m here and that is wonderful and it’s so great my school pays so much of my tuition I feel greedy and gross for wanting more

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I’ve been taking anxiety medicine and I’ve never felt better in my life idk how I feel about that tbh

[artist-amiet]

Stans, Friedhof, 1942, Cuno Amiet

https://www.wikiart.org/en/cuno-amiet/stans-friedhof-1942

[salemwitchtrials-deactivated202]

[image description: a quote from The Complete Poems of Emily Dickinson.

‘I am afraid to own a Body -’]

[oncanvas]

The Merry Cemetery, Amrita Sher-Gil, 1939

oil on canvas

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been back at school for exactly 31 mins and I’m already sad and lonely

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Y’all listening to mick Jenkins stoned is ✨✨✨

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ew drunk me has too many emotions. She needs to chill

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want someone who wants to hike the badlands, Yosemite, redwoods, Zion, Grand Canyon, cathedral rock, Appalachian, Joshua tree, devils bridge, congress trail, FDR state park, etc... infinity with me, someone who wants to use their two feet to see the the divinity anchored on earth. Someone who gets goosebumps when other people perform/share their creativity. Someone who wants to go to art museums and talk about philosophy and childhood stories the whole time we are there in whispers. Someone who sends National Geographic articles they want me to read while I drink coffee in the morning. Someone who appreciates silence. Someone who always has music playing at their house. Who likes cooking and laughing and pursues weird shit.

This is such a stupid post. That highlights my loneliness.

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Y’all my heart has too many compartments right now, too many parts that aren’t talking to each other,

It’s all suspended— repelling, long distance calls to no one in particular, the line is moribund and static

How do you find closeness with others, with yourself, with the events that have been your life so far?

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The future doesn’t feel real. My biggest desire is a nice window to look out while I drink my coffee in the morning. The world is really hitting me in the face this year and it’s saying over and over and over again “you are poor and money is what makes the world go round”.

If you see this post tell me something great, anything..... your favorite quote or tv scene or something your mom told you anything ❤️

[tokkelutott]

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All of tonight’s typos are brought to you by the beer I’ve been drinking 👀👍🏻

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Gonna take a personal essay class next year. Feel like it’s gonna make me cry a lot.

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Hi world, there are some people I really really love and appreciate in the world that I love talking to, I love their honesty and their thoughts and their words and how they make me feel and they are so so so far away it makes me so sad.

Likewise there are people so close by I could love but I’m a coward.

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I went to the redwoods this summer which was on my bucket list, probably the happiest I’ve been in a long time the couple hours I was there.