You have selected 2 - be driven mad upon the rocks

[feastofsnakes]

hey sorry I snapped at you, I've just had a really hard day and [remembers focusing on myself is selfish] maybe it's your fault for provoking me?

[mrsterlingeverything]

Mutuals can unscrew my panels and see my terrible cable management

[bigandtired-deactivated20250405]

[dragongirlsnout]

i enter the shower. hours pass. i emerge from the shower, having mixed all of my soaps and scrubs and lotions and conditioners and shampoos and body washes together in the tub in precise alchemical quantities. i smell like 314 different herbs and spices. my hair will not need washing for the next 500 days. my skin has developed protective chitinous scales. i step out of the tub and immediately slip and fall on a stray puddle of mane 'n tail and sprain my pussy

[alchemistdoctor]

Howl Pendragon

[energyprison]

every political scandal has to be called ____gate now because 54 years ago a guy named blowjob told reporters there were bugs in the democrat offices

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

[24th century voice]

your historical fiction smut isn’t very accurate to the period. in the plague era of the 21st century, women’s bodies were so frail from the ravages of disease that they had to wear restrictive compression garments to squeeze the blood back into their brains so they wouldn’t pass out whenever they stood up. smut should feature extended compression garment removal scenes as part of the foreplay or it just isn’t realistic. really takes me out of the setting.

[goodnightngoth]

me: sorry i’ve been busy

me for the last hours:

[hungwy]

Text message from a phisher pretending to be USPS departed with warm sentiment

[ruinedchildhood]

Tigers with a frozen milk brick on a hot day

[dragondriana]

needless to say they are hopelessly dependent on the ingot

[suzirya]

I got permission from this friend to post this because holy fuck I can't stop laughing

[yorhaw]

[orpheuslament]

if i had a dick i would love to have a disappointing orgasm in the shower while thinking of something or someone that i felt i should not be thinking about & then stand under the water with my forehead against a wall watching the proof of my guilt & shame go down the drain

[krippe90]

The insight I get into the female mind thanks to this website is amazing.

[orpheuslament]

not a female 👍

[orpheuslament]

pause everybody take notes. real trans ally

[dragon-in-a-fez]

the phrase "this machine kills fascists" has gone through enough layers of meaning that I think it's come all the way back around to where the funniest thing you could put it on would be a gun

[aqueerkettleofish]

[dragon-in-a-fez]

Tchaikovsky at the cannon store:

[intactics]

the most occidentalist cnovel I ever binged via MTL was about a chinese guy reincarnating into europe right before the black plague & teaching the savage europeans how to cook food and do agriculture and industry properly and inventing an innoculation for the plague and he wound up gay marrying the sexy young pope & collecting a really unreasonable number of magical animal companions along the way, including a tiger. the tiger's introduction led to my favorite author's note in the following chapter, which was basically "I've been informed Europe doesn't have tigers but I don't really give a fuck" ... that was kind of charming.

[evergreen-femme]

when i was a young boy i had the philosophy of ‘balls are the boobs of the penis so its ok that i want to suck on them it doesn’t make me gay” and tbh i was cooking

[tastylemonbread]

to see a marching band

[mevil]

[facts-i-just-made-up]

[c3rvida3]

They tried to execute me yesterday but my ass was too fat to fit in the electric chair so they just told me to promise I'd stop posting stupid shit. Which I obviously did not agree to.