The moment Ronnie brought up the incident Eddie winced, he remembered well enough. Remembered having to patch up bloodied wounds on hisbrother – he hated seeing him in that much pain and no one – NO ONE deserved to be treated like that. His brother least of all. Taking another puff from his inhaler he watches Ronnie closely, head shaking as his brother ranted. Moving in to try and talk with him and take his hand again, Eddie is caught off guard at the way Ronnielashes out and slams into his shoulder.
Stumbling back Eddie swallows rough, holding stationary for a long moment before he turns on his heel and follows after his brother.
“Don’t. Don’t fucking do this, Ronnie. I’m… You aren’t the black sheep of this fucking family. You’re my fucking brother. I don’t… I just…” heart races in his chest, gripping at his inhaler he takes a deep breath – trying to calm himself before he can continue, “I fucking… I don’t want anything to fucking happen to you, you dickwad! I… I don’t give a fuck what Mom thinks I just… if you fucking leave….” He couldn’t say it. He couldn’t bring himself to explain to Ronnie just how much worse life would get for him – it would be fucking selfish and he knew it.
“I love you and I’m fucking worried about you. I just… Isn’t there some fucking other way we can go about this?!”
Change, it was terrifying and something Eddie wasn’t yet ready to make. He had friends here, a family he had created with those friends. It was something he couldn’t get rid of. Not yet. Not now.
when eddie started to follow along, ronnie heard his words, he could hear the panic of his voice and he couldn’t stand it. he hated that he was the one making eddie feel this way, making him feel like he was going to have another attack.
so ronnie stopped. he didn’t turn around for a few seconds but when he did there were tears streaming down his face. he had been thinking about leaving for some time now and when he heard his brother wasn’t going to come with him--he hurt. they were always together, sure eddie had the losers, and they were ronnie’s friends as well, but ronnie--he didn’t know where he belonged anymore, especially after that beating.
“if you don’t give a fuck what she thinks then why don’t you just leave with me? because--you can’t ask me to stay eddie--you can’t--not you--not after what happened--” he started as he wiped the tears away from his eyes as he sniffed. “i need to go, and i want you to come with me--please..”
turnnoffyourmind
jacobvanloon
dededos
andulkaphoto
theartofmadeline