An image of a doorway flutters in hir mind as ze shimmies upward ever further, nearing the flattening of the smooth linoleum pane, nearly teetering off the edge. And as hir vision blurs again, surely ze will fall. The wall, crisp and cold, audibly clacks, a desperate grasping with useless hooven fingers, tinged with a pulling at hir fuzzy chest as ze slides hirself up. There's no railing, nothing to grip.
Falling wouldn't be so bad, really. It never is, here in this place. Clouds roll on and on. It's comforting, almost, breaking barriers that, in a sense, are physically impossible, over and over again. To rely on something that contradicts nature. Or is it that nature itself is contradictory?
But ze's never made it quite this far before. As hir fingers crest the corner, ze pulls hirself up, slipping a final time before maneuvering one hoof onto flat land. But as ze huffs in relief, the image flickers again, and hir heart recoils into itself in horror as it realizes the door ze pictures has no stairway leading up, no clouds, no bluish tinge left to the sky. This is all wrong. How hadn't I realized?
Maybe this isn't the end of the path. But ze manages to arch hir head back far enough to get a glimpse up at the endless vertical stretch of the architecture, absurd in its scale, vanishing up into a single point in space beyond a layer of clouds so far up that they may as well have been pixels on a screen, and ze sees that this is indeed the wrong place and the wrong time.
I'm going to give up again. I'm going to stop trying again. It wasn't so bad in the water, floating around on the surface but never really breaking through. But even as ze mutters to hirself, the truth of the matter has already been decided, and bile rises in hir throat as ze realizes that an attempt at something so futile as this may not be worthwhile. Or maybe it is. Either way, in the end, you find that despite how gratingly alone you may feel, you aren't in solitude nearly as often as you think you are.
"Come up with me." The voice isn't startling. It's always a new one, but it says the same thing. It's the tone that really gets to hir. Sometimes sincere and sometimes otherwise, not like ze can ever tell the difference regardless.
"No," ze retorts, letting one hoof slip back down the slope.
The creature's slit eyes open up in what appears to be genuine surprise. "Oh."
"You can't help me. I'm in the wrong place."
"I don't think so."
'You don't get to tell me if I am or not."
"That's true...."
It's a nonsense conversation, the dragon lacking the entirety of context surrounding the boar's circumstances. Even if the discussion persisted for quite a while, it wouldn't understand beyond what is mostly universal, would it? But to say anything actually true to hirself would be to risk a level of vulnerability that ze's never quite known how to reign in. If it was called small talk, why did it always feel like hir lungs were set ablaze? A surface tension that can't be broken.
"...I can take you back down, then. So you don't have to fall, at least."
The offer almost makes hir laugh. Almost. "Frankly, I'd rather you just eat me at this point."
"Sure." It opens its maw.
The boar is genuinely surprised to have met someone who picks up on jokes even less often than hirself. Ze goes to scratch hir chin before realizing with a start that ze's still in a rather precarious situation, straightening up hir spine and smooshing her chest back up against the wall.
At some point in the moment of silence that follows, the dragon realizes its mistake and snaps its jaws shut with an audible clack. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry."
This time, the boar really does laugh. "You're fine."
Though the massive reptile's neck quickly disappears into a thick layer of fluffy white cumulus clouds, most of its body completely out of view, the boar gets the sense that its claws are shuffling uncomfortably in the grass so far below. The silence flows through both of their lungs on the next inhale, and the boar scoots up to stand along the edge of the flat plane, where there's a bit more room to shift around.
"I like the sound your hooves make," the dragon huffs.
"Oh, thanks. I liked the click of your teeth."
"Thanks."
There's another ten seconds or so of silence, and the shifting of the beast's claws grows slightly audible. But at least to the boar, it's not an uncomfortable silence, not really. Something about this thing in all its absurdity, its sheer size, the sharpness of its bladed face juxtaposed with its awkward expression, its fangs that jut out and give it a bit of a lisp, is really likable.
"I'm afraid that I like you." Why did I say that? What a stupid thing to say. You don't just tell people you like them. I wish you could.
"You don't have to be afraid of something like that," the dragon replies. This answer, while comforting, isn't convincing.
"I definitely do."
"You don't scare me."
"I'm not scary. I just like people a lot, but I'm not really good at showing it. I haven't had that many friends before, so I don't know how it works. I don't know how to connect with people, I don't know what I'm meant to say most of the time. Every version of myself that I've been before this very moment has been masked by some sort of complacency, some sort of veil of attempted normalcy that plagued me so deeply that I'd lost myself. And now I'm unpacking all these feelings I'd been trained to veil, and I don't know what to do with them. I'm not trying to complain or sound pathetic, it's not a self-pitying thing. I honestly like myself quite a bit, I just don't think I'm equipped for any of the situations I find myself in. I don't feel like the reality I was born into is one I can navigate so easily."
"Despite that, you've survived," says the dragon. "Though, you're kind of holding yourself back, don't you think?"
"Maybe so." I think of it just then, I think of what I have to do. It's the only way, really. Something I'd often been too stuck in my own head to ever really consider, and even on the rare occasion that I had, it didn't work out right. But the only way to find out if this time would be different is to try, and so I do. "Would you like to go sit on a rock with me somewhere?"
"A rock?"
"Yeah. Like, granite or something."
"I would love to. But um." The dragon shifts once more, this time with a bit more purpose as it leans in toward the boar. "I would still have to carry you. To get anywhere that has rocks, I mean."
"Oh." Ze hadn't really considered that, but the possibility of lounging in a dark enclosed space for a while was indeed enticing. "Yeah, that works."
"Anywhere that has rocks?"
"Anywhere that has rocks, yeah. Like a river or a forest or anything is fine, as long as we can both sit comfortably." The boar steps forward, a little cue that ze hopes might prompt the dragon, once again, to open up. Ze supposes its silly to rely on such things at this point. This, clearly, isn't someone who communicates through that muddling series of subtleties, a song and dance for which ze hadn't ever been quite able to get the footwork down, and yet would still attempt at times for the sake of acting as some sort of social chameleon.
It takes a second for the cue to click, or maybe the dragon is just unsure what to do with the near complete freedom of location. Eventually, it realizes it's time to go and opens its maw back up, and for the first time, the boar is able to see what's inside. To really see what's inside. Teal-green flesh and gums, metallic and slightly glittery in texture, accented pale minty green razor sharp teeth. A few are messy and chipped. And with that, the surface tension is broken, and the fluid of the beasts tongue engulfs hir, the wetness seeping into hir fur fully, not simply bouncing off. At first the sensation, alien and new, is unpleasant, and as ze squishes up against the beasts tongue as it closes its jaws around hir, ze shifts along the muscle and adjusts until a pattern settles. The grumbling of the great beast's throat as it lifts off. The relief of no longer teetering on that ledge as ze had so many times before. The fear that this might not last, that any expression of seeking longevity could come off as a bit too much for someone ze'd just met.
Though they hadn't just met, really, as ze recalled all the times before that the dragon had perched along that very ledge. Had it been the same one? Sometimes, probably. Not every time. This didn't really feel new, but it certainly felt more comfortable than times prior. Perhaps to credit this change to the dragon wasn't quite right. Perhaps it was hir own willingness to be vulnerable and ask the risky questions that rewarded hir with an experience that, while not new, didn't feel so scary this time. It feels stupid to admit that to myself in a way. I'd known all along that this would yield better results, so why, pray tell, was I so terrified? Why am I still so terrified?
Hir stomach drops as the beast's wings flap and it picks up speed, soaring through the endless sky, but its head stays mostly steady. And just as hir eyes begin to adjust to the darkness and the ridges along the roof of its mouth gleam a deep emerald jewel tone through the blackness, a beam of light shoots in with a gush of cold wind. The beast's teeth crack open just a bit, just enough to let the clouds enter its mouth and fill the space with dense fog, drenching hir in mist, the heat of the beast's body and the frost of the outside air swirling as one force of nature. The sensation reels through hir, and ze shudders as the beast's taste buds run along hir forearms. After it begins to run a bit cold, the teeth clack shut once again and dark warmth falls in again, that clicking sound of the sets of bones interlocking tingling in hir ears.
Something profound occurs to hir almost every day, it seems, and yet such things make progress only towards goals intangible to others. Something that lives in hir head and slams on a pane of glass and begs to be heard, but out loud it just sits there staring and waiting for an opportunity, waiting to be served something on a platter that isn't coming.
"I've known you for a long time, I think. I love you," says the boar. "I just want to tell you that, in case things go wrong somewhere down the line. I want you to know that, at least now, in this moment, I love you."
The dragon tries to respond, but finds that moving its tongue jostles the boar far too much, so it resorts simply to hugging the tiny creature with its tongue, curling each side up around hir body as a warm, wet blanket.
OMG I was actually just looking for the owner of this suit on Instagram!!! I deleted the old listing from the Dealer's Den so I wasn't able to figure out who owned it anymore, I'm so glad to have found this!!!!!!!!
This is SUCH a cool fullbody design omgggg, and the concept of a deep sea kaiju is soooo neat
How is the suit holding up? A lot of my methods have gotten sturdier since 2022 so I hope they're doing well!! :0
Yoooo!!!! The suit's doing great! I've been following your progress since then and all the stuff you make is so cool! I gotta take more pics wearing it cause it's so fun to be a monster creature
OMG I was actually just looking for the owner of this suit on Instagram!!! I deleted the old listing from the Dealer's Den so I wasn't able to figure out who owned it anymore, I'm so glad to have found this!!!!!!!!
This is SUCH a cool fullbody design omgggg, and the concept of a deep sea kaiju is soooo neat
How is the suit holding up? A lot of my methods have gotten sturdier since 2022 so I hope they're doing well!! :0
Hey yall, I have not had the capacity to keep up with Tumblr for a while now! It's been really difficult for me to use social media for any purpose other than posting art & sharing current events. I apologize for any unanswered messages and friends I haven't spoken to in a while. My most up to date & active galleries can be found on Furaffinity, Instagram, and Bluesky
Hey, quick question (that I'm sending before I go to sleep) how do you draw those pool rooms /liminal spaces (poll edition) I can't figure it out and I saw that you did them and they looked really good!
Yo, you caught me at the perfect time!!! I haven't been active on Tumblr in a while due to mental health stuff, but here I am! Thank you so much for the kind words :]
I draw these as studies based on photos most of the time! Some of them are very closely referenced while others take a lot of artistic liberty
(The original poolrooms renders are by Jared Pike btw!)
I start by blocking out the background colors very simply. I don't use the straight line tool most of the time; imperfect lines are part of the charm. Just using your eye to lay out roughly where the shapes go, use edges & estimated perspective to create depth, and bucket fill in areas of color as you go
I slowly move toward the foreground and add the character at the very end- this usually makes them look out of place in the scene, which works great as an effect for a liminal space. Sometimes you don't need a character at all
The idea is to suggest detail without having to paint complex lighting! It also works for non-pool liminal spaces
I draw textured water by doing something like this:
It's deceptively simple! Sometimes I'll go back and add really thin white rings inside the bigger white circles for extra detail. I'm trying to minmax art to get impactful effects with the least amount of time spent. Some people might argue that makes it low effort or less meaningful, but some people might argue anything at all! Ultimately the value of art is what it means to you
My liminal series is based on really sporadic intense bouts of emotion which can't be refined over long hours without losing their original meaning. I work until I feel in my gut that it's done, no matter how "finished" it actually looks in the end. It might be 20 minutes or 4 hours
One instance where I recommend using the straight line tool is for making grid patterns!
For the glowing lights, I use a 'shine' or 'glow' or 'screen' effect layer (it might have a different name depending on your drawing program). Having everything be solid colorblocks except for a few glowing lights makes for some fun jarring contrast!
Pinterest has a really good selection of liminal space photography to study from, unfortunately a lot of it goes uncredited, but you can usually find the source with Google image search. I seek out liminal spaces that speak to me for some reason. The suburb ones represent the bloody paranoid failure of individualist imperialist America. Dark hotel hallways invite you into an unknown and uncertain future. The pool ones are both isolation and wholeness, comfort and discomfort, the pain on your skin when the water is a bit too cold despite the calm vibes of summer. Find what motifs speak to you, they'll mean something different to everyone
I know adoptables are not as popular here on tumblr as they are on other more furry centric sites, but I want to share these here regardless:
I'm selling characters in turn for proof of at least $20 donation to Palestinian relief‼️🇵🇸
E-sims, doctors without borders, BDS, Palestinian Red Crescent Society, Palestinian Children's Relief Fund, or donations to specific Gofundmes for Palestinian people and families are all valid options (and there are likely more options that I have missed, feel free to suggest more)
Please comment or message me if you are interested! All shares are appreciated
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