Stella Performance

House Adjacent's Dandy Punk

[draggedperformance]

The Big Show

I can't believe it's been almost a week. It feels like so, so much longer. The post-show blues were real, and I spent Monday and half of Tuesday exhausted and depressed. But I had so much fun. I made a playlist of all our songs just so I would know them and be able to scream my lungs out to all of them -- which I did! The show went by almost agonizingly slowly and yet too fast at once. I couldn't get over how proud I was of everyone and how far they'd come. Even Arin, who stole my hat-for-tips move.

Some of my best friends were in the audience, and I was more afraid to strip in front of them than strangers, oddly enough. I may have blacked out a little while unbuttoning my shirt, because I remember the buttons between my fingers and some cheering, but otherwise it's blank. My friend was upset that I didn't take her tips, but I was too busy mooning over the gorgeous person next to her.

Everyone kept telling me how good it was, how hot I looked, but I felt a little disconnected from it. Not just because it wasn't quite me up there, but because I'm just so used to the feedback we'd get after lip syncs in class. Like yeah, I get it was great, but tell me what made it great, y'know? What could I have done more of? What should I have done less of? I NEED SPECIFICS!!!

15/10, would definitely do again. I've already started making a mental list of songs I think would be good for hypothetical future Stella syncs. I've only got two so far, and one would be way better in a dress, but we'll see what the future holds.

P.S. I kind of want to change her name. What about Stella R. Adjacent ?

[draggedperformance]

So now I know how my hair looks to other people while I’m moving. Yikes. I’m glad I’m dyeing it black soon.

Disclaimer: I was not even a little prepared to perform in this case, and this was also the day I chose to wear my binder. Whoops. Thanks to that, Stella couldn’t really come all the way out and play as much as we both wanted. Still, it gets easier to move and make eye contact with every lip sync, and I’ve lost a lot of self-consciousness of working with/moving my body in a way that’s meant to be looked at. I’m also way more comfortable with interacting with my siblings, in case it wasn’t obvious when I unzipped Ava’s jacket. I get really caught up in everyone’s performance and get drawn in to the point that I want to be a part of it. I think I’m gonna be sad that this is a one-time-only show.

I’m most looking forward to getting to rehearse in Java, where I’ll have the space to move around like I plan to and wear my heels. Also, I need to ask where the House is going to be sitting relative to the stage and figure out who’s going to be my plant. I kind of want it to be Ava/JackMe, but it wouldn’t be quite in character. We’ll see.

Max has loaned me a top hat that SAGA has laying around, so I’ll get to practice with that. The real question now is whether I want to wear the hat for the whole performance.

[draggedperformance]

Testing out the shirt and vest combo. So dandy I look like a composer.

And then Stella made some adjustments

[draggedperformance]

It looked worse IRL, but she's definitely starting to come together. I've got to work on eyeliner and my cheek contour.

[draggedperformance]

Male Makeup Challenge

1) Bare-faced

2) Foundation and eyebrows

3) Nose contour

4) Facial hair!!

[draggedperformance]

1) Plain face

2) *Foundation

3) Countoured...ish

4) Channelling a forest nymph

5) Does this look worse if I make a weird face?

6) Sleep deprived, but make it sparkle

7) Okay this is actually kinda cool

8) Trying for subtlety

9) Not 100% sure it worked

*please pardon my cleavage. i always forget how bad it is

[lackwhen]

laquanndawson.com

[jana-legler]

Amanda Fucking Palmer

[jana-legler]

Amanda Fucking Palmer

[fictionalred]

[draggedperformance]

Lip Sync Reflection

Like I said before, I grew up with that cover of Come on Eileen. It was a fun song to begin with, one that bursts with youthful joie de vivre, that makes you feel like grabbing a friend, twirling them around, kicking your feet in the air, and just generally having fun. It’s also the perfect song to groove out to alone in your room. It was hard to capture it when I was the only one dancing, but not the only one present. I called on a few simpler moves I’d picked up in Zumba, but otherwise, I just tried to capture the lyrics and the energy of the song. My hair has always been fun to toss around, even now that it’s short, but I could have timed by head shakes a little better. 

Being tasked with lip-syncing for class made me more aware of not just how often I do it, but to how often I do it with my eyes closed. I’ve never been one for direct eye contact, and it’s easier to let the words sink in with your eyes closed. Unfortunately, I couldn’t quite do this with my eyes closed. The curtain was open just the slightest bit in front of me, and I could see myself in the mirror, but I avoided it like the plague. At the same time, I didn’t want to look any of my audience in the eye, so my gaze sort of floated over their heads.

I wasn’t nearly as afraid of it as I thought I’d be, but it was still nerve-wracking. In the end, though, it was fun, and I’m already thinking about what I want to do next, and I definitely want to choreograph it more this time.

[draggedperformance]

They say that black isn’t a color, but a shade. That it’s the absence of light. And white, which must be light, is the concentrated combination of all colors. But that’s just human eyes, isn’t it? Dogs are colorblind, so to them, maybe gray is as beautiful as a sunset is ever gonna get. But we don’t all see color the same, do we? There are birds and bugs with better color vision with us. Hell, there’s a kind of shrimp with eight times the color range we’ve got. So it’s probably awful narrow of us to say there’s no color inside blackness, don’t you think? That’s why I love to wear black. I don’t think it’s scary or gloomy. I think it’s all about perspective.

That being said, I do love playing with the colors our little human eyes can see. Especially in my hair. That way everyone can see it, and it catches people off-guard. I like to smile, but not everyone likes to see me smile. They look away from my mouth, they meet my hair. Either way, they see the bright and cheery. I’ve met more than a few people that have told me it’s off-putting, but even more that say it makes me impossible to look away from. And that’s what I want. To be seen, to be heard, to be felt. To give out joy and receive in turn. 

I dress up my face to be seen. My body, well, it can be interpreted a great many ways. At the end of the day, though, it’s still mine.