Swooping™️ Is Bad

I try to be funny with Dragon Age but it doesn’t always work so I won’t be offended if you don’t enjoy your stay. Basically another incorrect dragon age quotes blog because I enjoy it.

[dragon-age-probably]

Sera: What is it called when you kill a friend?

Sera: Homiecide!

Inquisitor:

Inquisitor: Sera. That’s murder.

Sera: Homiecide!

[dragon-age-probably]

Cullen: *finishes reading one of Varric’s books*

Cullen: Do you accept constructive criticism?

Varric: Absolutely not

[dragon-age-probably]

Cassandra: I cannot tell if you are trying to get yourself killed or if you find all of this danger unnecessarily fun.

Inquisitor:

Inquisitor: Yes.

[dragon-age-probably]

Aveline: Hawke, do you have any idea what you’re doing!?

Hawke: I never know what I’m doing, I just make things up as I go along.

[dragon-age-probably]

Warden: I love you, Alistair.

Alistair: ASDFGHJKL AWW I LOVE YOU MORE!!!

-

Hawke: I love you, Fenris.

Fenris:

Fenris: *grumbling* Fine... I romantically tolerate you as well...

-

Inquisitor: I love you, Cullen.

Cullen: FILE ERROR CULLEN.EXE HAS CRASHED

[dragon-age-probably]

Inquisitor: Tell me you love me.

Dorian: I love me.

[dragon-age-probably]

Solas: Inquisitor, I am in need of assistance. Can you lend me a hand?

Inquisitor: How about an arm?

[dragon-age-probably]

Inquisitor: Blackwall, how do you kill an Archdemon?

Blackwall: It, uh... it takes a special Grey Warden sword.

Hero of Ferelden, if they were present in the game: I THINK THE FUCK NOT! I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT-

[dragon-age-probably]

Aveline: I’m going to the merchants, do any of you want anything?

Hawke: I want my family back.

Aveline: Whoa there, no need to be greedy.

[dragon-age-probably]

Warden: Alistair, where did you get all of these bruises?

Alistair, remembering how he tripped and fell into a ditch: I killed Morrigan.

[dragon-age-probably]

Inquisitor: Anyway, here’s Blackwall

[dragon-age-probably]

Hawke: Waffles are just pancakes with abs.

Fenris: Fuck you.

[dragon-age-probably]

Alistair: I remember this place; I read about it when I was younger.

Morrigan: I did not know you could read! Congratulations! I learn something new about you every day, it seems!

Alistair:

Morrigan:

Alistair: What will it take to make you go away? Garlic? Pure silver? Sage? Angel wards?

[dragon-age-probably]

Hawke: I can blow your mind, Anders...

Anders: Like a Chantry.

Hawke: What

Anders: What

[dragon-age-probably]

Alistair: People are similar to snowflakes; each one is unique in their own special way!

Morrigan: They are also similar to snowflakes because they make it difficult to travel when there are too many piled up on the road.

[dragon-age-probably]

BONUS:

Warden Cousland: Reminds me of Highever.

[dragon-age-probably]

Alistair: People are similar to snowflakes; each one is unique in their own special way!

Morrigan: They are also similar to snowflakes because they make it difficult to travel when there are too many piled up on the road.

[dragon-age-probably]

Hawke: I mean I wasn’t even that bad though.

The Maker: *pulls out scrolls*

The Maker: Sweetie :)