🐉 🛴 Y’know. Or something

I don't even know what this blog is. they/them QUEER

[watermelonmountaindew]

actually carly rae jepsen was a genius when she said “before you came into my life i missed you so bad” and everyone who hated on that lyric just wasn’t smart enough to understand

[gardengnosticator]

using my one wish willow to make all cigarettes healthy and yummy for people

[sexy-necromancing-bird]

Is the guy in the cuck chair supposed to stay quiet or is he allowed to clap and cheer

[foxgirlmindcrank]

he's supposed to take notes and make an intrigued hum when an interesting plot point occurs

[conspiracydeerist]

[blu3str1k3]

[thisarenotarealblog]

one is getting cucked by the bottom and the other is getting cucjed by the top. Subject matter experts discussing the sex like a sports panel

[morganoperandi]

One cuck always lies, the other always tells the truth. You have one question to determine who’s a top and who’s a bottom.

[whumpster-fire]

[personsonable-deactivated201908]

me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

[miaislying]

Hey OP? What the FUCK does this mean?

[personsonable-deactivated201908]

decay exists as an extant form of life

[miaislying]

That’s a terrifying answer, have a nice day

[haystarlight]

THE ORIGINAL?!?!!!!!!!!;!!!!!!!!???

[shower-thoughts-last-responder]

On my dash!??!

Please hold

[s4mm4n]

God I miss the days when you could show up to a stranger’s farm and he’d say “What’s your name, boy?” and you’d take off your hat and hold it to your chest to better let him see your face and reply “Why I ain’t got none, sir, on account of my mammy passed on before she could give me one” and he’d tell you he’s real damn sorry to hear that and ask what he can do you for and you’d tell him that you can’t read nor even write neither but you’re mighty good with horses and can mend them fallen fence posts what you saw on your way in and won’t ask for nothing much more than a hot meal and a warm barn to sleep in and he’d keep his wife and daughters inside but send his boy who ain’t got married yet even though his mama tells him he needs a woman out with a lantern and some stew at night and the two of you’d get to talkin and he’d throw you his flask to take a swig from and watch you drinkin from it while he leant against the door frame and when he finally got called back on up to the house again he’d take a sip from it too real slow-like like it weren’t the whiskey what he were tryna savour

[argumate]

you see you don’t get posts like this on twitter

[lastweekseyeliner]

every day at least once while on a walk i think to myself “it weren’t the whiskey what he were tryna savour” and sometimes if i am alone i say it out loud

[athetos]

Yes, your seal is childproof, however, it is also 30 year old adult with carpal tunnel proof as well

[fwizard]

[luminarai]

*david attenborough voice* truly the most dangerous predator in the animal kingdom

[valtsv]

time to make a post on tumblr. surely no one will interpret it to be as offensive and bad intentioned as possible.

[valtsv]

by talos this cant be happening

[making-friendos]

Ferocious little beast

[dogsuffrage]

Imagine you are a lynx and you eat a mouse that has mostly eaten raspberries its whole life. Christ! What decadence

[homunculus-argument]

oddly specific insults that could also be used as compliments?

Just describe them. The tone of your voice dictates which one it is. You could tell someone that they walk like a sled dog and that's going to delight or bother them for the rest of their life.

[the-duct-tape-wizard]

“I hope you have the day you deserve” can be a good one

[homunculus-argument]

There was an incident on reddit where someone replied to a rancind OP with "if you ever end up in a state of needing help, I hope people show you as much kindness and patience as you have for others", and got immediately banned for "threats of violence".

[angelicguy]

me and the boys have a couple of chains wrapped around the sword in the stone hooked up to mikes toyota tundra gonna pull that fucker out like a tooth.

[seaweed-station]

Me and the boys misunderstood the arcane nature of the stone and now the Toyota is king of England

[clouds-of-wings]

"Watching my dad (a GP doctor) watch House is more entertaining than the show"

[zoi-no-miko]

GOD, I wish more doctors were more like this redditor's dad

[sighinastorm]

been ages since I saw a rage comic!

>thread is from 13 years ago

oh.

[ninjamouse13]

[birdsareblooming]

i was talking to friends who's main view of tumblr is that everything is sexualized on here. and when i said i do see that i also know that the most vocal groups of asexuals are on tumblr. eventually i realized how much of tumblr was de-sexualizing sex. like just saw a post of a gifset of a sexy lady smoking and tying up hands with the reblog text "me putting the little tag back on the bread bag" and so many posts are like that. just saying or talking about some sex shit in a completely neutral non-sexual manner. I was going in loops around my head trying to figure out why it was like this, something about being so used to nudity and sex and that's not shocking or even sexy anymore, until circling back to the fact that tumblr is full of asexuals and maybe the most respectful place of them. it was then a saw a poll (a post I CANNOT find again for the life of me but it was some type of sexuality poll or something) and was shocked by just how many people answering it were asexual, until I remembered this and went. oh. so yes everything on tumblr is sexualized but not even for sexualization's sake or for sexual satisfaction. its for the bit

[birdsareblooming]

uptopia in the making sporting my aspec siblings

[ericidle]

Our age of strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is collapsing

[wizardarchetypes]

cooking a zuccini in an oven right now and i was sitting here lazily reading a post when i heard a loud noise from the oven and as a genuine reaction and for no one at all bc i'm here alone i lept to my feet and exclaimed "What this?! What's befallen my zuccini??"

[clonerightsagenda]

Usually when the electrician goes 'hey.... there's something you should see' it's because someone set up shoddy wiring. This time it was because he pulled two snakes out of my wall