Annabelle Chapman

my scattered ramblings of love and to be loved. www.annabellechapman.com // insta: @dragonfly.wing.dreams

[dragonflywingdreams]

& if not in this life, will you come to me in my dreams?

Annabelle Chapman

[dragonflywingdreams]

the calm in the quietness of her gentle affection- her divine touch, salvation

Annabelle Chapman

[dragonflywingdreams]

all hopes & small wishes end as they began- that she may hear my heart that calls for her- that begs, pleads, & petitions for her, & return to me once more

Annabelle Chapman

[dragonflywingdreams]

what use is the whole of anything, when a half shared with her is more than i could ever need

Annabelle Chapman

[dragonflywingdreams]

the rasping of her starved heart reverberates in her quiet words & small breaths

Annabelle Chapman

[dragonflywingdreams]

relinquishing to this wretched state- an existence maddened by memories, by dreams- days with you that so vividly i still see, that my hands still helplessly, compulsively extend to reach

Annabelle Chapman

[dragonflywingdreams]

i pray- i plead- i beg- at what point does grief cease? when can i take a step and not be met with an end?

Annabelle Chapman

[dragonflywingdreams]

she has long turned & walked away- but how- when i still feel her here? not one day, nor one moment has she been gone from me 

Annabelle Chapman

[dragonflywingdreams]

in rooms of memories, i linger, whispering end tails of conversations once had

Annabelle Chapman

[dragonflywingdreams]

the knife he left twists & turns itself, snapping the sutures within my heart- he loves another- he loves another.

Annabelle Chapman

[dragonflywingdreams]

how do i wake to find myself here- still? trapped & bound to this eternal living nightmare, born from the death of a dream

Annabelle Chapman

[dragonflywingdreams]

how am i spared nothing in your absence? even in sleep, still, i am so catastrophically & painfully aware of all that is no longer here- a love that is no longer mine

Annabelle Chapman

[dragonflywingdreams]

each day, he spares less & less, until i am senselessly all consumed foraging for crumbs in the earth’s dirt

Annabelle Chapman

[dragonflywingdreams]

all i am is anchored in pain- drowning in my heart’s refusal, to simply let her go

Annabelle Chapman

[dragonflywingdreams]

folding in on myself, each night, my mind more lost- cast into the sea of memories of her

Annabelle Chapman

[dragonflywingdreams]

i called & called your name- clutching at only the trails of the ghost you left in your wake

Annabelle Chapman

[dragonflywingdreams]

hope creeps into my heart, & with it, i know,  i am dreaming again

Annabelle Chapman