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@dreamoffuchsia
; [Hey guys just as a heads up, I'm going to be making a conscious effort to push out at least 2 replies per account over the next few days!]
; [I know I've been really slow/nonexistant but it's partly because I've been stressed with personal stuff and I'm very unorganized atm.]
; [So I'm going to try to remedy that so I can write without feeling stressed. Just bare with me, I promise I'm trying ;; ]
Closed starter for @rileysroleplayreservoir
"I swear, this place smells like pure dog shit no matter what time of the year I come," Nishitani whined as he made his way down the crowded ways of Pink Street, bodyguards walking in stride as they made their way to their destination. Business, as it were.
"Do we even know why we're in this shit hole to begin with? Prick on the phone didn't give me any fucking idea."
The man to his right, Hiroto, merely shrugged his shoulders. "Not a clue. But from what I know, the guy's an affiliate of the Shimano family."
Nishitani raised a brow, a wicked grin crossing his lips at the thought. "Oh? Ain't that Tsu-chan's big bro?"
Hiroto nodded. "Right boss. Big leagues over here lookin' for your help it seems."
Now, that sounded promising. Nishitani cackled with enthusiasm. "Now ya got me all excited Hiroto-kun. Can't wait to see what these Tokyo bastards are up to."
--
Technically, this was treason of the highest category. If Jin Goda caught even the slightest whiff of any of this, the Kijin Clan would be done for. But despite how reckless Nishitani could be, he wasn't stupid. Far from it, actually. He was just a risk taker of the highest caliber.
Which is exactly how he ended up in a room with a bunch of stiffs, eyeing the one lone female with a ravenous glint.
"Shoulda told me ya had such a sweet thing to sweeten the deal. Woulda been here sooner," he flirted shameless, raising a brow at Riley from his seat on the couch. "What's yer name, sugar? And to what do I owe the pleasure?"
Hey there! First of all - adore how you write for Nishitani! Been curious about potentially starting up a thread with you. RP blog is @rileysroleplayreservoir. Considering my yakuza gal O'Malley, though trying to think of how the two could run into each other. I'm thinking something spontaneous like I did with @mewgagotoku, a coincidental meeting :o ? I can always ponder further down the line for something more solid if you're interested!
; [Hey! Aw, thank you so much! That means a lot. I'd love to write with you sometime :o We can brainstorm some ideas either here or on discord- whatever works!]
dreamoffuchsia
In the back of his mind, Nishitani knew Majima meant every word he said- and felt the weight of them a little too much. Which would explain the tears that soon found themselves streaming down his face.
He returned the kiss just as gently as he had received, allowing himself the intimacy even when he didn’t feel he deserved it. Being upset was hard enough and Majima didn’t need him kicking himself in as hard as the illness was.
He held Majima tighter, practically squeezing the life out of him as he sobbed. This was unlike him in almost every sense, but Nishitani had spent too many years bottling shit up- he was due for an emotional break down. It was so out of character that even Isamu picked up on it, coming up to lick at Nishitani’s arm and whine like he understood his pain.
But one thing was abundantly clear, despite all the tears and sorrow, Nishitani had lived a good life. He found someone that he loved, built an impressive, long life with when it was debatable he would ever live to be 40. He was thankful for Majima and all he had brought to the table. That was all the love he’d ever need, or ever wanted.
“Fuck… look at me. Gettin’ old turned me into a fuckin’ sap didn’t it?”
Nishitani didn’t need to speak for Majima to know what he was thinking; the strength of his embrace spoke far louder than any confession. Breathing out an unsteady breath, the one-eyed man held him tighter still, allowing the other to tremble softly in his arms. This was a side of the former Omi hellion that nobody else ever saw, and though it was perhaps painful to watch, Majima treasured it - it whispered of their trust in one another, and their devotion.
“Ya always been one, love,” he murmured, a small grin audible in his teasing. Nishitani was a constellation, pitch and light, a luminary enigma - everything he did cast shadows, and Majima had been chasing them forever, taking solace in his shade and pride in his glow. “I love you.” It was difficult to be pragmatic at a time like this, and the younger man found he was still unable to really process the concept that they could be staring at a stopwatch now which could jerk to a halt at any time – but he meant what he said. A minute, an hour, a week, ten years – he would love Nishitani as deeply and as brightly in a second as he could in a lifetime. That would never change, and could never be taken from either of them.
Slowly, rolling to lay them both down against the pillows, Majima kissed each of Nishitani’s eyelids in turn and gently skimmed his thumbs beneath them. “Ya so handsome, ya know that? There’s been times when ya been the only thing holdin’ me together… I’m so grateful, an’ I’m so damn lucky that I get to spend every day with ya. I don’t deserve ya, but here ya still are, perfect an’ strong, an’ so good to me.”
Nishitani went with Majima's movements without hesitation, knowing that the number of times he would get to be in his lover's embrace were now numbered. The sobbing calmed itself as they lay there- the intimate kisses and gentle touches more than enough to settle his unrelenting thoughts.
"I love you too, sugar. More than I can ever say." He spoke softly in turn, as if the weight of his circumstance had knocked the wind out of him. "I wouldn't have had life any other way. The moment I laid eyes on ya, I knew that was it. Ya caught me hook line and sinker. I never felt this way about anyone else."
It was strange not only to hear any of this from a guy like Nishitani, but to hear it as a form of goodbye- that was enough to send Nishitani back into tears. He held Majima that much closer; like it would be his last. "Yer everything I coulda wanted and more. I love you."
I'm sorry. Goodbye.
@dreamoffuchsia cont. from here.
“What? Someone’s gotta keep ya on yer toes, Tsu-chan,” Nishitani teased with a throaty laugh. He had no intention of starting a fight with Sagawa, let alone with how little patience the older man had displayed before. “Besides, if I really wanted to fight ya, I wouldn’t have wasted time grabbin’ yer neck. I woulda just hit ya.”
He removed his hand and quickly went for his cigarettes in his pocket, pulling one out and lighting it with ease as smoke toiled from his nostrils. “Lighten up, old man. Drive that pole any further up yer ass and ya may sprout somethin’.”
In a world like theirs, things are rarely so upfront and honest. Even if Nishitani gets on his nerves from time to time, there’s still something refreshing about how the man presents himself and his actions with obvious intentions. That’s not to say that the fuchsia-clad man is predictable, not by a long shot. Perhaps that’s why Sagawa’s so quick to be on-guard with the other.
Letting out a vexed sigh, the older man raises a brow and looks to the younger. “So then what are you grabbin’ on for? There are only so many things that you come around lookin’ to get, and if it’s not a fight, then the list is significantly shorter.” Shaking his head at the other’s easygoing attitude, he reaches out and steals Nishitani’s cigarette from between his lips before bringing it to his own for a puff, having the false hope that a shot of nicotine might ease his quickened, irritation-induced heart rate. Sucking air in through his teeth to push the smoke to the depths of his lungs, he holds out the cigarette to offer it back.
Seemingly unbothered by the fact his cigarette was plucked from his own lips, or Sagawa's over all condescending tone, Nishitani takes a seat in the booth across from Sagawa. He took his cigarette back with a lecherous grin. "Ya know me so well, don'tcha? Well, hate to burst ya bubble but I don't actually have a reason for bein' up yer ass at the moment."
Truly, Nishitani had come to The Grand on a whim- avoiding whatever responsibility his lieutenant threw onto his lap and practically itching for some form of entertainment. And what better place to be than The Grand where he can drink, spend some time with the hottest girls in Sotenbori, and annoy the ever loving piss out of one Sagawa Tsukasa?
"Besides, it's been a couple weeks. How ya been ya miserable bastard? Still nursing that poor fuck back to health or did ya put him our of his misery?"
dreamoffuchsia
The sudden contact managed to pull Nishitani out of his frenzy for a brief moment. He stared at Majima’s face, watching the tears stream down and his mouth move but… he only heard static. Sure, he caught a few words here and there, but mostly static.
He didn’t say anything in retort, just quietly climbed back into the bed and put his arms around Majima- squeezing tightly as the only affirmation that he had hear what he had said. “I’m sorry… I didn’t… I woulda made it work if I had known.”
There wasn’t a thing in the world Nishitani wouldn’t do if it made Majima happy. That was what their entire relationship was based on, after all. Ever since he offered a way out of seeing Makoto potentially killed, Nishitani had always done what he felt would make Majima happy. And that made him happy, even if he was terrible at showing it.
“I could never see myself bein’ a dad, but God if I didn’t wanna see you be one sometimes.” It didn’t matter now though. If he had more time then maybe but…
“I just want ya to be happy. I’ve always wanted ya to be happy. And I want ya to be happy even when I’m gone… I’m sorry I’m such a shit husband, but I did my best because I loved you more than anything in the world. I still love you more than anything in the world. That’s… why this hurts so much, I guess.”
Although Nishitani came easily closer with Majima’s touch, the one-eyed man pulled him firmly to his chest. He wrapped both arms and legs around his husband, grounding him in his embrace and after a loud sniff, peppering his shoulders in soft, reassuring kisses.
“Don’t apologise. Ya already gave me back the life I swore I’d chucked away.” Nishitani’s words were part of the reason he’d never pursued the idea — it had never seemed to be on his agenda, and giving up something he didn’t have was a small sacrifice to preserve the life they had built together. “Sshh… I am happy, ya dumbass. Could be just you an’ me up in outer space an’ I’d be happy as a clam.”
“Darlin’… darlin’, look at me.” He lifted his face away, cupping Nishitani’s chin and lifting his head so that their eyes met. “If it had only been a week-“ like it almost was. “A week with you was the best week of my life. We’ve had twenty, thirty years and they’re the best I coulda asked for. Sure, there’s stuff we coulda done different, or changed, but… I’ve been happy. I am happy. An’ I hope I made ya happy too.”
Majima’s lips found Nishitani’s with a slow, gentle kiss, the taste of his own tears lingering as he pulled away. “If I had my time over, I’d do it all again. With you. Every second.”
In the back of his mind, Nishitani knew Majima meant every word he said- and felt the weight of them a little too much. Which would explain the tears that soon found themselves streaming down his face.
He returned the kiss just as gently as he had received, allowing himself the intimacy even when he didn't feel he deserved it. Being upset was hard enough and Majima didn't need him kicking himself in as hard as the illness was.
He held Majima tighter, practically squeezing the life out of him as he sobbed. This was unlike him in almost every sense, but Nishitani had spent too many years bottling shit up- he was due for an emotional break down. It was so out of character that even Isamu picked up on it, coming up to lick at Nishitani's arm and whine like he understood his pain.
But one thing was abundantly clear, despite all the tears and sorrow, Nishitani had lived a good life. He found someone that he loved, built an impressive, long life with when it was debatable he would ever live to be 40. He was thankful for Majima and all he had brought to the table. That was all the love he'd ever need, or ever wanted.
"Fuck... look at me. Gettin' old turned me into a fuckin' sap didn't it?"
dreamoffuchsia
At that, Nishitani fell deadly silent. How had he not realized- No, how had he not even considered that maybe, just maybe, Majima wanted that kind of life. He had just always assumed things, never outright asked- and the steady break of his husband’s voice made it all too clear that he had made a huge mistake in bringing it up.
“Fuck… Majima, I’m sorry- I didn’t… I didn’t know,” he said quietly, trying his best to hold back his own sorrow at the thought of hurting Majima even more than he already had. “Fuck… Fuck.”
Now he pushed himself up, sitting at the foot of the bed with his head in his hands. He didn’t move for a time, just sat there in quiet contemplation before standing up and looking around for something and nothing at the same time. “I can’t… I shouldn’t fucking be here right now.”
This was the unfortunate start of one of his many manic episodes. He would start by avoiding it, denying it’s very existence or it’s very trigger, but soon it would spiral into something much, much worse. Nishitani spared one glance at Majima and then decided he needed… something. A shower, a walk, a line of that shit he used to get back in Sotenbori.
But he couldn’t bring himself to decide which of those he really wanted, or needed for that matter. “Fuckin’ shit.”
This time there really were tears running down Majima’s face, but his sorrow changed swiftly into annoyance when his husband pulled away with a stammered apology.
“You sit the hell back down, asshole. It don’t mean shit without you.” Crawling past Isamu, Majima snatched for one of Nishitani’s wrists, trying to pull the other man back toward himself. “I didn’t tell ya cus it… well it ain’t real, is it. Livin’ happily ever after, two point five ankle biters, none of it’s real. Not for us. Not for people like us.”
He thought he’d stopped saying that - thought he’d stopped believing that after getting out of Sotenbori, that ‘not for us’ was a concept and not a reality. It turned out that was an illusion too. They knew the thin line they walked, the dusk, the in-between. Civilians or not, they could never go back to how they had been before the Tojo and Omi had anointed them each in turn. They would always be a target, and so would those they loved.
“I don’t want nothin’ if it ain’t with you. So get that ass back over here ‘fore I come up there an’ make ya.”
The sudden contact managed to pull Nishitani out of his frenzy for a brief moment. He stared at Majima's face, watching the tears stream down and his mouth move but... he only heard static. Sure, he caught a few words here and there, but mostly static.
He didn't say anything in retort, just quietly climbed back into the bed and put his arms around Majima- squeezing tightly as the only affirmation that he had hear what he had said. "I'm sorry... I didn't... I woulda made it work if I had known."
There wasn't a thing in the world Nishitani wouldn't do if it made Majima happy. That was what their entire relationship was based on, after all. Ever since he offered a way out of seeing Makoto potentially killed, Nishitani had always done what he felt would make Majima happy. And that made him happy, even if he was terrible at showing it.
"I could never see myself bein' a dad, but God if I didn't wanna see you be one sometimes." It didn't matter now though. If he had more time then maybe but...
"I just want ya to be happy. I've always wanted ya to be happy. And I want ya to be happy even when I'm gone... I'm sorry I'm such a shit husband, but I did my best because I loved you more than anything in the world. I still love you more than anything in the world. That's... why this hurts so much, I guess."
dreamoffuchsia
At first, Nishitani didn’t say anything- not exactly afraid of what he was about to say but knew he’d catch shit for it. “… Ya woulda made a good dad, ya know?”
Kids were never something Nishitani wanted, especially with his career choice and neither had Majima. But Nishitani had seen how Majima acted around Haruka when Kiryu would visit- saw the way he kept trying to impress the kid but also protect her as if she were his own. It was endearing- cute even.
“I’m not sayin’ my last wish is fer us to adopt a brat or anything dumb like that but… I dunno. Yer good with Haruka and have been since ya met her. And ya practical are a father to Minami because god knows what that punk woulda got into without ya.”
The more he rambled, the more flustered he got. Trying to explain himself just made it all the more embarrassing to the point Nishitani laid his head On Majima’s chest in defeat. “… Forget I said anything, it’s stupid.”
Unexpectedly, that broke a dam. The Mad Dog lurched as if he’d been punched in the chest, looking sharply away from Nishitani. Kids had never been an option. It had never been the right time, the right situation, the right world to want to take in or have a child of his own. It had also never been the right time to bring it up with his other half. He’d broached the subject a few times, but only ever as a joke - testing the water, as it were - and each time Nishitani brushed it off or changed the subject, he would put it back away for a time. There it had eventually come to lay, discarded and defunct - and so he thought, unwanted.
“Fuckoff.” Bowing his head, he growled into Nishitani’s hair, shaking his head as the other went on. “Bastard.” It was seeing Kiryu with Haruka which had really confirmed just how badly he wanted to be a father — their devotion to one another despite having no blood in common. He could do that. He could be a good dad, better than his own — but a child would have been a target, another thumbscrew with which to torture he and Nishitani if they ran into trouble. It was never the right time.
It still wasn’t the right time, and now it never would be. It never would have been anyway. Minami was as close as he got, and as much as he cared for the kid, as much as he did for the kid, there would always be barriers there between them that he knew he couldn’t cross. He was strict and disciplinarian with Minami in a way that he wasn’t with anybody else, but it also meant he couldn’t be soft with the lad - couldn’t show him the very real affection he had for the wild little punk he’d taken beneath his wing. Perhaps they were rules he had made for himself, but they meant that he couldn’t be Minami’s father, not really.
“Ya tryna fuckin’ drown me today or what? I want a kid.” Majima’s voice cracked, choked and frustrated. “I want kids, an’ I want ‘em with you. Motherfucker.”
At that, Nishitani fell deadly silent. How had he not realized- No, how had he not even considered that maybe, just maybe, Majima wanted that kind of life. He had just always assumed things, never outright asked- and the steady break of his husband's voice made it all too clear that he had made a huge mistake in bringing it up.
"Fuck... Majima, I'm sorry- I didn't... I didn't know," he said quietly, trying his best to hold back his own sorrow at the thought of hurting Majima even more than he already had. "Fuck... Fuck."
Now he pushed himself up, sitting at the foot of the bed with his head in his hands. He didn't move for a time, just sat there in quiet contemplation before standing up and looking around for something and nothing at the same time. "I can't... I shouldn't fucking be here right now."
This was the unfortunate start of one of his many manic episodes. He would start by avoiding it, denying it's very existence or it's very trigger, but soon it would spiral into something much, much worse. Nishitani spared one glance at Majima and then decided he needed... something. A shower, a walk, a line of that shit he used to get back in Sotenbori.
But he couldn't bring himself to decide which of those he really wanted, or needed for that matter. "Fuckin' shit."
dreamoffuchsia
It was silent for a brief period if only because Nishitani wasn’t entirely sure what to say. There was nothing he could do to really remedy the situation- no amount of promises he could make would ever stop this kind of pain.
Instead, he offered a small smile. “I know you will. Right now, I just wanna be with ya for the day. Don’t hardly ever get to do that with how busy we used to be.”
Even though he and Majima had retired to civilian life things never actually quite calmed down. Nishida did his best to run what remained of the Majima family, though the Tojo was seeing it’s way out as the days went by. But he had his own doubts about his capabilities and often looked to Majima for advice.
Advice being a swift kick in the ass and an ear full.
That didn’t mean they never had time alone together, but it was something to be desired.
“… Can I tell ya somethin’ stupid and you promise ya won’t get mad?”
After making an effort to compose himself, Majima nodded sagely, leaning in to brush his cheek against Nishitani’s and murmur close to his ear. “I’m all yours.” When he was younger, a whole day spent hiding away at home felt like a day wasted — even if he did have Nishitani for company - but now, the quiet was something to be preserved. Not because he didn’t know how many days they had left, but because he wanted to hold on to each and every moment, with or without the ticking clock of sickness. This was where he belonged, right here in his lover’s arms. Everything else was just noise.
“Mm? No promises.” A tiny smile spread across Majima’s lips, gently teasing. “Tell me.” Tell me everything, tell me always, tell me ‘til I’m sick of the sound of your voice. Memories never grew old or tired. He threaded his fingers through Nishitani’s hair again, pressing a fond kiss against one of his eyebrows.
At first, Nishitani didn't say anything- not exactly afraid of what he was about to say but knew he'd catch shit for it. "... Ya woulda made a good dad, ya know?"
Kids were never something Nishitani wanted, especially with his career choice and neither had Majima. But Nishitani had seen how Majima acted around Haruka when Kiryu would visit- saw the way he kept trying to impress the kid but also protect her as if she were his own. It was endearing- cute even.
"I'm not sayin' my last wish is fer us to adopt a brat or anything dumb like that but... I dunno. Yer good with Haruka and have been since ya met her. And ya practical are a father to Minami because god knows what that punk woulda got into without ya."
The more he rambled, the more flustered he got. Trying to explain himself just made it all the more embarrassing to the point Nishitani laid his head On Majima's chest in defeat. "... Forget I said anything, it's stupid."
dreamoffuchsia
As if he could sense the impending tears, Nishitani surged up to cup Majima’s face. “Hey hey, don’t cry sugar.” He wanted to be able to reassure him that everything was fine, that he had nothing to worry about.
But that was so far from the truth. Nishitani just hated to see Majima upset.
He leaned in and kissed him gently, pushing away the few stray tears with his thumbs. “I’m sorry, Goro. I wish it wasn’t like this. But… I’m gettin’ old. There’s only so much my body can handle…”
Oddly. enough, 5 years ago those words would have never come out of his mouth. He always refused to acknowledge the fact that he was in fact getting older, and therefore weaker. It was a hard pill to swallow, but the more it became a reality, the more complacent Nishitani became.
“I’m gonna fight this as much as I can, but I need you. I need you too. I wouldn’t have gotten this far without ya, and I wouldn’t wanna have fucking done it without ya. I love you. So much. Please don’t cry.”
“M’not cryin’,” the one-eyed man mumbled, squeezing his eye shut as if that might prove the lie. His hands rolled up Nishitani’s back, rough palms shushing over inked skin. He held his lover as if he were something incomparably precious, biting the inside of his own cheek to try to keep his emotions from bubbling over. He had to be strong. Strong was easy when it was knuckles and teeth. Not so much when it was hearts and headaches.
Roughly wiping his own face with a growl, Majima’s fingers were wet when they settled back at Nishitani’s waist, trying to silence the confession with a kiss. “I meant it,” he whispered. “I’ll do whatever it takes.” The trouble was that he didn’t know what he could do. Isamu, who had been edging closer after polishing off Nishitani’s breakfast, seated himself in such a way that he was leaning on the former Omi man to lick lazily at his own big paws.
Majima shifted his weight slightly, taking some comfort from the warm weight of Nishitani’s body against his own — enough that he could breathe steadily again. Once his heart stopped thudding, he found that he didn’t know what else to say anymore, just gazing back at the other side of his own coin and stroking softly over his skin. Something lodged in his throat, impossible to swallow, longing for Nishitani to break the silence.
It was silent for a brief period if only because Nishitani wasn't entirely sure what to say. There was nothing he could do to really remedy the situation- no amount of promises he could make would ever stop this kind of pain.
Instead, he offered a small smile. "I know you will. Right now, I just wanna be with ya for the day. Don't hardly ever get to do that with how busy we used to be."
Even though he and Majima had retired to civilian life things never actually quite calmed down. Nishida did his best to run what remained of the Majima family, though the Tojo was seeing it's way out as the days went by. But he had his own doubts about his capabilities and often looked to Majima for advice.
Advice being a swift kick in the ass and an ear full.
That didn't mean they never had time alone together, but it was something to be desired.
"... Can I tell ya somethin' stupid and you promise ya won't get mad?"
⌧ - grip my muse by the back of the neck - Nishitani [I hope this is okay jdgjxvu]
Manhandling Symbol Starters (Status: Accepting!)
“You lookin’ for a brand label, Nishitani? I don’t think they make this suit in your color.” Sagawa’s neck tenses beneath his fellow Omi man’s objectionable touch, and if he had hackles, they’d be standing on-end. His words may seem passive enough, but his tone of voice carries the same underlying sense of challenge that Nishitani’s gripping hand does.
Whether the fuchsia-clad man is merely screwing with him to be playful or seeking to incite something less friendly, Sagawa doesn’t think he’ll have much patience for either. Rolling his shoulders, he attempts to brush off the other man’s hand. “I’m not your broad, back off.”
"What? Someone's gotta keep ya on yer toes, Tsu-chan," Nishitani teased with a throaty laugh. He had no intention of starting a fight with Sagawa, let alone with how little patience the older man had displayed before. "Besides, if I really wanted to fight ya, I wouldn't have wasted time grabbin' yer neck. I woulda just hit ya."
He removed his hand and quickly went for his cigarettes in his pocket, pulling one out and lighting it with ease as smoke toiled from his nostrils. "Lighten up, old man. Drive that pole any further up yer ass and ya may sprout somethin'."
dreamoffuchsia
Nishitani settled himself between Majima’s legs and idly traced the patterns of his tattoo with his fingers- a fond and intimate sort of touch that they rarely ever got out of Nishitani. He’d always favored the rough stuff, the scratches, the bites, the bruises… All of which he’d used to paint his husband’s body on a number of occassions. “Nah. Yer not pathetic. Wouldn’t have lasted this long if ya were.”
By that logic, that would mean Nishitani thought that he thought himself weak. Perhaps he did, or had been thinking it for the last few months, but if he could give himself any credit, it was what he had managed to do with his life since Majima came into it.
There was no doubt in his mind he would have died a puppet to the Omi if he remained a patriarch, a fate he had always dreaded but knew was inevitable. Majima had changed a lot of things and Nishitani had to change to make it work. For lack of a better phrase, Majima made him a better man all around.
Pushing his lips softly to his husband’s collar bones, sighing softly as he felt the familiar sting in his eyes. “Also remember that night in the hospital, when I took that bullet. I was startin’ to think that I’d never actually get to you, but… that bight was different. That might have been the moment I realized I couldn’t bear to be without ya anymore.”
He held his husband just a little tighter to think of that night - soaked to the skin and screaming as he dragged his limp body to the clinic. The hours he’d spent waiting for Nishitani to wake - each moment incredibly private, and yet building the foundation for the confessions to come when he finally regained consciousness. The realisation that this was more than just a one-off, that he wanted to see how far they could climb: Together.
The horror of all which came after that night was scarred deep in Majima’s mind, alongside his time in the hole, alongside Sagawa’s lingering brand on his soul. He had been powerless to save Nishitani then, and he was powerless now, clenching his teeth and burying his face in the top of the other’s head.
When he next spoke, it was only a whisper: “I didn’t reckon I’d ever love anythin’. Didn’t reckon I’d ever feel anythin’ ever again. An’ then there was you. Stubborn bastard kept comin’ back even when I was tryna shove ya out, scare ya away with snarlin’… I loved ya so much it hurt… an’ I hurt ya cus of it.” He felt his eyes prickling like they hadn’t since that first strange night back in Kamurocho. “Fuck, Homare… I can’t do this without ya…”
As if he could sense the impending tears, Nishitani surged up to cup Majima's face. "Hey hey, don't cry sugar." He wanted to be able to reassure him that everything was fine, that he had nothing to worry about.
But that was so far from the truth. Nishitani just hated to see Majima upset.
He leaned in and kissed him gently, pushing away the few stray tears with his thumbs. "I'm sorry, Goro. I wish it wasn't like this. But... I'm gettin' old. There's only so much my body can handle..."
Oddly. enough, 5 years ago those words would have never come out of his mouth. He always refused to acknowledge the fact that he was in fact getting older, and therefore weaker. It was a hard pill to swallow, but the more it became a reality, the more complacent Nishitani became.
"I'm gonna fight this as much as I can, but I need you. I need you too. I wouldn't have gotten this far without ya, and I wouldn't wanna have fucking done it without ya. I love you. So much. Please don't cry."
Manhandling symbol starters
Send one for your muse to…
★ - drag my muse by the arm ⁂ - grab my muse by the front of their shirt, possibly shoving them back ✱ - take my muse by the hips to carefully move them out of their way ➜ - smack my muse upside the head ⌧ - grip my muse by the back of the neck © - put a hand on my muse’s back to steer them somewhere ✂ - point sternly at a chair and tell my muse to sit down ✉ - push my muse back down when they try to get out of bed (perhaps involving illness, injury, or sleep deprivation) ☛ - press a finger to my muse’s lips to shut them up ♚ - put a hand on my muse’s knee while sitting next to them, to discourage them from standing up ♧ - slap my muse’s hand away from something they shouldn’t touch ♦ - grab my muse’s hair and yank ♤ - slam a door shut before my muse can leave the room ♞ - physically pick my muse up and carry them ♭ - grip my muse’s jaw to make them look yours in the eye ♨ - rub my muse down with a sponge/wet cloth ☀ - pin my muse with their arms behind their back ☠ - slam my muse into a wall ☾ - wrestle/pin my muse to the ground
Add as much or as little context as you’d like!
dreamoffuchsia
“Oh, that how you see it?” Nishitani questioned between bites of egg, carefully slipping a small bit to Isamu so that his whining would cease for a moment. “Because I distinctly remember you tellin’ me to go fuck myself the second time we met.”
After all the business in the Grand, Nishitani regularly sought Majima out back in the 80’s. Despite Sagawa’s warnings and everything else that told him to stay away, he just couldn’t get Majima Goro out of his head. He did anything and everything just to get his attention- which was mostly fighting, oddly enough.
Nishitani fell in love and fell hard, and Majima played hard to get for the longest time. “I remember the first time I kissed ya. Down by the river, blood drippin’ from my lip. Was scared then that ya’d run and I’d never see ya again. But you didn’t push me away- sweetest kiss I’ve ever had.”
“And if my memory’s right, I also gave you the best blow job of your life that same night,” Nishitani teased with a laugh as he set his now empty plate to the side. “I'da done whatever ya asked me to back then if it meant gettin’ to see ya. Hell, I still do it now. Way I see it? I earned you.”
Majima smiled wryly. “You actin’ like that ain’t exactly what ya slunk home an’ did.” At the time, he’d thought that an animal like Nishitani was the last thing he needed — how wrong he had been.
“That tongue’s ya secret weapon though, ain’t it. Reckon it’s got ya into as much trouble as it’s pulled ya out.” The one-eyed man sat back a bit to let Isamu launch himself hungrily after the plate, noisily scraping up the flavour of Nishitani’s leftovers. Sliding upward on the bed, Majima settled with his husband between his legs and pulled the other man comfortably back against his chest. “Nah. Thought I was doin’ a good job of hidin’ it back then, but there weren’t nothin’ what didn’t scare me outta my tiny mind.” For good reason, as it turned out.
“I was doin’ pretty good competin’ for asshole of the year til you came along.” One hand rested over Nishitani’s heart while the other combed fondly through his hair. The wooden boards beneath his reminiscence began to creak under his weight, holding Nishitani just a little tighter. He hadn’t always agreed with his lover’s course of action, but there was no denying that he’d hauled them out of more than a few scrapes with his crooked smarts — he couldn’t say that this morning’s revelation fell into that category. “I remember thinkin’ ‘now who’s this prick, thinks he knows how this game works?’ Ya changed everythin’, doll. Naw, ya did your time — I owe ya for wastin’ all them hours chasin’ my pathetic ass.”
Nishitani settled himself between Majima's legs and idly traced the patterns of his tattoo with his fingers- a fond and intimate sort of touch that they rarely ever got out of Nishitani. He'd always favored the rough stuff, the scratches, the bites, the bruises... All of which he'd used to paint his husband's body on a number of occassions. "Nah. Yer not pathetic. Wouldn't have lasted this long if ya were."
By that logic, that would mean Nishitani thought that he thought himself weak. Perhaps he did, or had been thinking it for the last few months, but if he could give himself any credit, it was what he had managed to do with his life since Majima came into it.
There was no doubt in his mind he would have died a puppet to the Omi if he remained a patriarch, a fate he had always dreaded but knew was inevitable. Majima had changed a lot of things and Nishitani had to change to make it work. For lack of a better phrase, Majima made him a better man all around.
Pushing his lips softly to his husband's collar bones, sighing softly as he felt the familiar sting in his eyes. "Also remember that night in the hospital, when I took that bullet. I was startin' to think that I'd never actually get to you, but... that bight was different. That might have been the moment I realized I couldn't bear to be without ya anymore."
dreamoffuchsia
“I promise I’ll tell ya if it starts gettin’ bad. Right now I’m just tired, that’s all.” And that was honestly all that felt wrong about Nishitani, for now at least. He hadn’t had much energy here lately and had tried to chalk it up to old age, but he wondered how much of it was that and how much of it was the disease.
Managing to scoop the plate up without dumping it all over himself, Nishitani leaned over and kissed Majima once more before digging in to his eggs. He eyed Isamu and laughed as the pup seemed to pout. “Don’t worry ya big oaf. I’ll give ya some when I’m done. Ya act like we don’t feed ya enough.”
Funny enough, that was something he and Isamu used to have in common. When he was younger, Nishitani was practically a bottomless pit when it came to food and booze- but the older he got the more it strained his body. So naturally he swapped it for more “exercise” as it were.
But being a civilian had the disadvantages of actual jail time for getting into street fights- and there was no Billiken to bust him out anymore.
“These are sooooo good babe,” Nishitani said with an appreciative moan, woofing down the eggs like he hadn’t eaten in days. “I knew I kept ya around for more than just yer handsome face.”
“Yer so good to me. What did I do to deserve ya?”
“You better.” Majima nudged his lips to Nishitani’s temple. “Don’t matter how small it is, alright? Jus’ tell me. Y’aint never alone.” Pitching up onto his knees, he bundled the bandy-legged Rottweiler up into his lap and cuffed his scabby ears fondly. “An’ you can stay out of it.”
Fussing the dog whilst Nishitani was eating, the one-eyed man tried to force a smile. This ought to just be an ordinary morning like any other - breakfast in bed, a bit of a lie-in, take the daft dog for a run around downstairs, no responsibilities but to each other until lunch time. The letter had put an end to that. He was conscious of every second, finding Nishitani’s leg with his own foot as if to cement some kind of permanent contact between their bodies while he impatiently waited for his lover to finish his breakfast.
“Ach, they’re just eggs, thank the chickens,” he muttered, though he smiled fondly, leaning back against the headboard and toying with one of Isamu’s front paws. “But thanks anyway, smooth talker. Look, I don’t wanna get into a pissin’ contest, but I’m the one who had to earn ya.” Isamu whined, dark eyes gazing longingly at Nishitani’s plate. “Knock it off lad,” he chuckled. The dog made for a very disobedient son.
“Ya the best thing what ever happened to me. Both of ya. An’ every time I thought I was drownin’, ya been right there pushin’ me on.” He still couldn’t really process what he had been told — couldn’t stomach the idea that at the end of all this, Nishitani just… wouldn’t be here anymore. He shook himself.
"Oh, that how you see it?" Nishitani questioned between bites of egg, carefully slipping a small bit to Isamu so that his whining would cease for a moment. "Because I distinctly remember you tellin' me to go fuck myself the second time we met."
After all the business in the Grand, Nishitani regularly sought Majima out back in the 80's. Despite Sagawa's warnings and everything else that told him to stay away, he just couldn't get Majima Goro out of his head. He did anything and everything just to get his attention- which was mostly fighting, oddly enough.
Nishitani fell in love and fell hard, and Majima played hard to get for the longest time. "I remember the first time I kissed ya. Down by the river, blood drippin' from my lip. Was scared then that ya'd run and I'd never see ya again. But you didn't push me away- sweetest kiss I've ever had."
"And if my memory's right, I also gave you the best blow job of your life that same night," Nishitani teased with a laugh as he set his now empty plate to the side. "I'da done whatever ya asked me to back then if it meant gettin' to see ya. Hell, I still do it now. Way I see it? I earned you."
dreamoffuchsia
Nishitani had made himself comfortable on the bed, or as comfortable as Isamu would allow. Despite being a bigger breed, he liked to pretend that he was a lap dog- often opting for a spot right between your legs in the hopes of catching a few scraps from your plate or some pats.
He hadn’t even thought about the pup in this whole situation, which made him feel even worse about it. They hadn’t had Isamu long but the idea of him not being there upset Nishitani. He wondered briefly of Isamu would wonder where he was after he was gone.
That train of thought derailed as Majima pushed his way into the room, plates in tow. Nishitani smiled at him lovingly and practically melted into his side the moment he settled into the bed. “Alright. Worth a shot, got nothin’ to lose at this point.”
Well, in terms of the illness anyway. In life, he had a lot to lose and that became more apparent the more he thought about it. “But don’t run yaself into the ground over me, yeah? I wanna spend as much time with ya as I can, and I can’t do that if yer as exhausted as I am all the time.”
And he really was exhausted 95% of the time. Even simple things sapped his energy these days- but that wasn’t something he was ready to talk about just yet.
Pressing a gentle line of kisses up the line of Majima’s jaw, Nishitani settled himself comfortably against his husband. “Not gonna be easy, that’s for sure… but as long as I got ya with me, I don’t mind.”
Reaching over Nishitani to pat Isamu’s flank, Majima wrapped himself around the other man as if the act of doing so might afford some form of protection against the invisible killer. The dog had always preferred Nishitani; he wondered if Isamu would even stick around in a home without him. The thought lodged in the back of his throat - pretty as it was, the penthouse would be just a shell without the man who made it home.
“I won’t.” He couldn’t really make such a promise when fight or flight was already kicking in to every muscle. He wanted to rush out of the house right now, to find some way to change the words on that letter, to fix the grim prophecy they dealt. “But ya tell me when it gets too much. Anythin’. Any change, anythin’ you need, please.” Nishitani had always been one to suffer in silence. Majima couldn’t bear the thought of it any longer - the idea that something could be happening to Nishitani that he couldn’t change and couldn’t understand. “Please.”
Long fingers found their way to Isamu’s collar just as the dog lurched toward Nishitani’s breakfast, pulling the boisterous pup back down. “Oi,” Majima found himself laughing, though he couldn’t readily explain why. “Ya better eat up before he cleans up for ya doll.”
"I promise I'll tell ya if it starts gettin' bad. Right now I'm just tired, that's all." And that was honestly all that felt wrong about Nishitani, for now at least. He hadn't had much energy here lately and had tried to chalk it up to old age, but he wondered how much of it was that and how much of it was the disease.
Managing to scoop the plate up without dumping it all over himself, Nishitani leaned over and kissed Majima once more before digging in to his eggs. He eyed Isamu and laughed as the pup seemed to pout. "Don't worry ya big oaf. I'll give ya some when I'm done. Ya act like we don't feed ya enough."
Funny enough, that was something he and Isamu used to have in common. When he was younger, Nishitani was practically a bottomless pit when it came to food and booze- but the older he got the more it strained his body. So naturally he swapped it for more "exercise" as it were.
But being a civilian had the disadvantages of actual jail time for getting into street fights- and there was no Billiken to bust him out anymore.
"These are sooooo good babe," Nishitani said with an appreciative moan, woofing down the eggs like he hadn't eaten in days. "I knew I kept ya around for more than just yer handsome face."
"Yer so good to me. What did I do to deserve ya?"
dreamoffuchsia
With his face held in Majima’s hands, Nishitani really couldn’t nod, but he did his best. His hands came up to shadow Majima’s, as a means of reassurance. “No more secrets. Promise.”
After all, what were secrets to a dead man? Not that Nishitani had many secrets kept from Majima, aside from those early on ones from when they first met- but that was water under the bridge now. Now all Nishitani cared about was keeping whatever semblance of happiness he could have close to his chest- and that, in human form, was Majima Goro.
“I love you too. More than I can ever say. Yer… yer the world to me sugar. I want ya to know that.”
He wanted to say more, but elected to press a gentle kiss to his husband’s forehead before collecting his mug of now lukewarm coffee. Nishitani could only hope that Majima would understand eventually, even if it hurt. If there was something he could do, he’d do it- if only to keep from seeing that look on his lover’s face ever again.
He whistled for Isamu to follow, smiling softly at the dog’s hurried paws slide across the hard wood floors. “Maybe uh… we can find something to watch. Ya know… spend a day inside?”
“Yeah, sure, let’s put somethin’ on.” Something he had no intention of watching, because the only thing he wanted to see right now was already here in front of him. Still, it might help to take Nishitani’s mind off things if that was what he wanted. He watched the pair of them walk away, Isamu’s cropped excuse of a tail wiggling as he walked, oblivious.
Majima didn’t move for a while, just watching the open door blankly. Any attempt to put his thoughts in order just chased them further away like sheep fleeing a pen.
Keeping the half-cooked eggs for himself, he made a fresh batch for Nishitani with extra cheese. Draining his coffee cup and brewing two new ones, he balanced the breakfast on a tray and padded back to the bedroom, setting it on a side table while he crawled back beneath the covers beside Nishitani and their oversized pup.
“Hey.” A chaste kiss brushed Nishitani’s temple as Majima slid one arm beneath him to pull his lover close to his chest. “Let’s start again, huh?” He could demand answers all day if he wanted, but it was wasting time — time he would rather spend doing this. “Lemme ask around, see if there’s anyone can do somethin’ for ya.”
Nishitani had made himself comfortable on the bed, or as comfortable as Isamu would allow. Despite being a bigger breed, he liked to pretend that he was a lap dog- often opting for a spot right between your legs in the hopes of catching a few scraps from your plate or some pats.
He hadn't even thought about the pup in this whole situation, which made him feel even worse about it. They hadn't had Isamu long but the idea of him not being there upset Nishitani. He wondered briefly of Isamu would wonder where he was after he was gone.
That train of thought derailed as Majima pushed his way into the room, plates in tow. Nishitani smiled at him lovingly and practically melted into his side the moment he settled into the bed. "Alright. Worth a shot, got nothin' to lose at this point."
Well, in terms of the illness anyway. In life, he had a lot to lose and that became more apparent the more he thought about it. "But don't run yaself into the ground over me, yeah? I wanna spend as much time with ya as I can, and I can't do that if yer as exhausted as I am all the time."
And he really was exhausted 95% of the time. Even simple things sapped his energy these days- but that wasn't something he was ready to talk about just yet.
Pressing a gentle line of kisses up the line of Majima's jaw, Nishitani settled himself comfortably against his husband. "Not gonna be easy, that's for sure... but as long as I got ya with me, I don't mind."
