pairing: ryland grace x reader (intended as platonic)
summary: you show rocky the human concept of a prank, on ryland. turns out he doesn't appreciate being the butt of the joke.
warnings: no use of y/n, gn reader, lee!reader, ler!ryland, conspiracy theories, pranks and ragebaiting, scary ler grace like i got a bit nervous writing this, light swearing
word count: 1.9k
authors notes: bc i think ragebaiting grace would be ssoooo funny. title: bodybag by wind walkers
///
It was interesting how humans could be bored in any circumstance.
It's not like there wasn't plenty to do on the Hail Mary. Research was constant and - astrophage and taumoeba aside - even just hanging out with Rocky was enough to keep things interesting. First alien contact, and all.
And yet, you were bored. Not just kind-of-bored where you could maybe occupy your mind with something or other, but the painful bone-deep kind of boredom where - no matter how much you wanted to - you could not get yourself to even move.
Briefly, you thought of the full access database of…well, everything, that you and Ryland were given with your laptops. But even a Wikipedia deep dive didn't sound engaging.
Rocky rolled over to where you were sprawled on the floor, feet propped up against the bed.
"Why not working, question?" He asked, no preamble. You heaved a sigh.
"Don't want to." You said blankly.
"Something wrong, question?"
"No." You said. "I'm just bored."
"What 🎶 mean, question?"
It hadn't occured to you that Rocky didn't know the word 'bored'. You thought for a moment.
"It's a feeling you get," you explained, staring up at the ceiling. "When you really want to do something, but nothing seems interesting enough to do it."
Rocky was silent for an extended few seconds.
"That sound stupid." He said.
You turned your head against the floor to look at him. "Do Eridians not get bored?"
"No." He managed to sound judgemental, somehow. "Everything interesting, always. Many things to do and learn, always."
"Huh." You mused, turning your head back towards the ceiling. "Yeah, I guess you're right."
"How stop 🎶 feeling, question?" Rocky asked. You chewed on the inside of your cheek, thinking.
"I guess the best way is to force yourself to do something." You admitted, knowing Rocky would find this whole concept ridiculous. "It's easier when you can do it with someone else."
An idea sparked in your mind.
"Hey, Rocky." You said, lifting yourself up onto one elbow, turning to him. "Do you know what a 'prank' is?"
"No."
"How about 'joke'?"
He perked up. "Yes, Rocky know joke. Grace say joke is to make others laugh."
"Yes!" You said, smiling. "So a prank is similar. It's when someone tricks another person to make a joke. But it has to be harmless. If it hurts the other person then it's just mean."
"Trick not lie, question?"
"Sort of." You agreed. "But it's about something small. And the other person finds out about it in the end, so they can laugh about it too."
"Understand."
You grinned. "Want me to show you how a prank works?"
"Yes, yes, yes! Show Rocky human prank!" He wiggled happily.
"Okay, but you have to promise to not say anything about this to Grace." You told him firmly. "If he knows we're doing it, it won't work."
"Yes, yes, yes, promise, promise, promise!"
You pressed your fist against his dome. Rocky mirrored you.
@
You glanced to your right from your perch on the stool. Ryland was busy scribbling on the whiteboard he had moved into the lab room.
You looked down. Rocky was a few paces away from Ryland, soldering something or other.
It was a good time to strike. A few hours had passed since the three of you settled into your work, and the silence had stretched and streched until it became taught with stress and tiredness. But for some reason your heart rate picked up.
You fiddled with your laptop for a moment, trying to gather your will.
Ryland huffed sharply, and wiped half of the board clean. You watched as he restarted his calculations.
Well, no time like the present.
"So you know how the earth is flat?" You asked, trying to keep your voice light and casual. The marker stopped squeaking against the board.
"Excuse me?" Ryland frowned, looking over his shoulder at you.
You kept your eyes glued to the laptop. No going back now.
"I was just thinking." You continued, clicking to another tab. "Do the windmills act as propellers?"
"What are you talking about?" Ryland sounded like he didn't know if he should be concerned or confused. He set the marker down with a click, turning to face you fully.
"You know!" You waved your hand vaguely. "They're propellers so they're bringing us closer to the sun? I figure that's where global warming comes from."
There was a long pause.
You fought not to look at him. If you did you'd start laughing and give the whole plan away.
"The earth isn't-" Ryland started, then cut himself off. "Are you feeling okay?"
"Yeah?" You feigned confusion, risking a quick glance at him. He looked comical - eyes huge, brows pinched together, hands hanging limply by his sides. "Anyway, what do you think? It's a good theory."
"That is not a good theory." Ryland said, incredulous. "It's not even a theory - it's madness!"
"Why?" You clicked through more tabs, then lifted your hands to make quotation marks gestures with your fingers. "Because 'the earth isn't flat'?"
"The earth isn't flat!" He sounded distressed. "It's round! It's an orb!"
"Oh yeah? And how do you know?"
"We're literally in space!"
"Sure." You allowed. "But I didn't get to see earth. So, who's to say?"
Ryland narrowed his eyes and looked down at your feet where you were bouncing your heel nervously against the leg of the stool.
"How Grace know earth round, question?" Rocky piped up from his spot.
"Huh?"
"Grace say always test yourself. If Grace not test, how Grace know earth round, question?"
Thank god for Rocky, you thought in relief.
"Alright." Ryland placed his hands on his hips. "What's going on with you two?"
Before you could reply, Rocky spoke. "Nothing, lie."
You closed your eyes in silent anguish. It hadn't even occurred to you that Rocky wouldn't be able to lie out loud because of his syntax.
"Oh, 'nothing', huh?" Ryland demanded, looking back and forth between you and the Eridian. "'Lie', huh?"
"Grace, listen-" You started, turning on your stool to face him. Seeing his expression - shocked, offended, miffed - a snort burst out of you. You pulled your lips into your teeth to stop yourself from grinning.
"So the two of you just thought it would be funny to spew lies and conspiracy theories?" Ryland continued, aiming the question at both you and Rocky although his eyes were locked on you.
"Rocky was curious about how pranks work." You shrugged, still fighting back a smile.
"Oh yeah? And who told him about them, I wonder."
You rolled your eyes. "God, you sound like such a teacher right now."
"We're supposed to teach him correct concepts." Ryland said. "Not about underground lizard people."
"I never said anything about lizard people!" You objected. "Come on, Grace, we just wanted a laugh."
He looked at you silently for a moment.
"Okay." He said, folding his arms. "C'mere then."
You faltered. "I feel like I shouldn't."
Ryland didn't speak. Only waved his fingers in a beckoning motion and pointed at the floor in front of him.
Shit, you thought concisely.
Slowly, reluctantly, you slid off your stool and walked towards him.
"Hmm." Ryland hummed, scanning you up and down.
"What?" You demanded, flapping your arms out.
"If you wanted to have a laugh," he said, voice lilting. "There's a much faster way to get it."
Your heart skipped. Double shit. "Grace. That wasn't my inten-"
"Your intention?" He raised his eyebrows teasingly. "As if you don't know how to get exactly what you want out of me."
"I'm not having this conversation." You said with finality. "I'm leaving now."
Ryland's arm wrapped securely around your middle, pulling you backwards into his chest, as soon as you turned to walk away.
"What isn't fair?" Ryland asked calmly, squeezing at your waist. His other hand came up to scribble on the back of your neck, where you had dropped your head forward to hide your reaction from him.
"What about Rohocky?!" You hated how your voice pitched up into a whine.
"Rocky is innocent." Ryland said. "He was coerced into this scheme by your evil little mind."
"Yohou're the evil one!" You kicked your leg out, hoping to create enough momentum to break free.
"How so?" He asked, pulling you back to him as if it were an afterthought. His hand veered to scratch around your ear.
"You know how!" You accused, reaching up to pull Ryland's hand away from your ear by the wrist.
"The same way I know that earth is round?" Ryland teased, letting you pull his hand away. "Who's to say?"
With that, he pulled against your grip on his wrist, and took hold of your jaw.
"Grace, I swear to god, I will-" You intensified your pulling and kicking.
"You're not gonna do anything." He said easily, and blew a raspberry on your neck.
You laughed desperately, legs nearly giving out under you. Ryland broke off from the raspberry, cutting it short by his own chuckling at your reaction.
"Oh man." He said through his laugh. "That was adorable."
"No it wasn't." You gritted out, jerking your head out of Ryland's grip. He let you, instead using that arm to wrap it around your middle along with the other.
"No?" He pressed his cheek to your hair. "You're right, it wasn't just adorable. It was also very cute."
You growled, feeling your face flush. You angled your head further away from him to hide it.
"You're sweet, and silly." Ryland continued, squeezing both hands against your waist gently. Just enough to get you giggling. "And you had to come up with this elaborate plan when you could have just come and asked me to tickle you."
Through the haze, you thought: I'm going to die here.
"That wasn't the plan." Your objected, but it sounded weak even to your own ears.
Ryland hummed in faux sympathy. It made your stomach do a flip.
"Let me goho." You whined. You actually whined. The realisation made you flush hotter.
"Awh." Ryland clicked his teeth. "Hard to get away when you're giggling so hard, huh?"
"Whahat do you want from me?" You were not above begging at this point.
"There is one thing." He mused, shifting one hand higher to your ribs. "But I'm not sure if you'll be able to do it."
"I'll doho it!"
"Will you behave?"
"Yehes!" You nodded your head. Pretended not to hear his wheezy laugh at how quickly you complied.
"Will you stop telling Rocky conspiracy theories?"
"Thahat's more than one thihing!"
Ryland increased the speed of his hands. "Will you?"
"Yesyesyes!" You yelped, pulling at his arms.
"Alright." He chuckled lightly, stopping his ticklish attack on you, but held firm as you tried to catch your breath. "Good."
You let your head drop back against Ryland's shoulder, your chest heaving. He rubbed his cheek on the side of your head softly, letting you get your bearings.
"Rocky have question, statement."
You jolted, shocked by his voice. You had forgotten he was even there.
"Yeah, bud?" Ryland asked, maneouvering both your bodies slightly so he could look at him.
"What mean lizard people, question?"
"Oh noooo…" You groaned, flopping your head forward.
"This is your doing, squirmy." Ryland informed you.
"I plead the fifth."
"I guess I did make you promise not to tell him about conspiracy theories." He mused, releasing his hold on you, but keeping both palms pressed to your shoulders. "I'll handle this one."
"I'm just gonna -" You made the mistake of looking at Ryland's face. His expression told you he knew exactly what you were going to say. "- I'll be back."
With that, you fled from the lab room, Ryland's wheezy chuckling following you like a ghost.
Request: “the reader is playing country songs to piss off ryland and he tickles them to get them to stop (it’s what they wanted anyways LOL)” from @mystey-here who somehow managed to give me a prompt that was so up my lane that it felt like it had been plucked directly out of my brain. Thank you!
Characters: Ler!Ryland Grace, Lee!Reader (gn), Ft. Rocky
Warnings: Tickling
Words: 5.8k
A/N: No shade to country music, I come in peace. If you have a prompt in, I will be working on it soon!
It had started off unintentionally, perhaps innocent even. It was a few songs to remind you of home, and the fun times that you’d all shared in the compound before the Hail Mary had taken off.
Ryland, Rocky, and you always listened to music in the lab. Stratt had outdone herself in terms of how much media had been sent with the four of you. The catalogue went back as far as the 1860’s, and up until the very day that the ship had taken off. If you were to play through all of it, you would probably never hear the same song twice for the entire journey from Tauceti to Erid. If you combined that with Rocky’s ability to literally create notes that your and Ryland’s human ears couldn’t hear, then you truly had nearly endless possibilities.
That morning, when you and Ryland had woken up, you were the first in the lab, so you were the one who got to pick the music for the day. By the time that Ryland climbed the ladder after you, the classic tunes of Johnny Cash filled his ears.
He looked up at you with his brows raised.
You held his stare across the stark white lab. “What?”
“Country music?” he asked, looking tired.
You shrugged. You hadn’t even realized that you’d never played any songs in that genre before, and you couldn’t tell if Ryland was just confused or annoyed. Once you all had gotten into the habit of listening to stuff while you worked, the three of you established the rule that none of you could complain about what music was picked. You were a perfectly good spacemate, never saying anything, even when Ryland played all sorts of questionable things. You’d even let it slide when he’d played baby shark once when he was drunk, saying it was because his kids would make him listen to it ‘ironically.’
“It’s my turn for controls, is it not?” you said, arching a brow.
“My students would’ve called this old people music,” he said with a chortle, almost in disbelief.
“That's because we’re,” you gestured between the two of you, “old to them.”
He shrugged and moved out of the doorway and Rocky came rolling up after him. “No. Humans very young. Eridians grow old, humans are babies.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Ryland shrugged him off, heading to his work station. “Hopefully, you have better music tastes than us to show for it.”
You narrowed your eyes, catching his not so subtle insult. “Ryland, are you complaining about my music choices?”
He held one of his hands up in mock surrender, the other one still holding his coffee. “Of course not, I know the classroom rules,” he said, leaving you to continue fidgeting with your devices, but your mind was elsewhere now, a sneaky smile beginning to play on your lips. You had been working on a gadget, it was a special musical device that would allow you to press the buttons like a piano in order to make Eridian noises and communicate in their language. Since you were now bounding through the depths of space towards Erid instead of Earth, you figured it was probably best to start working on your communication skills, however, it seemed that perhaps the tool could wait a little while for you to try a different sort of experiment.
Rocky rolled by you, heading for the station that was on your right side, and you took that moment to hiss at him. “Rock-” you whispered.
Sensing that you needed him for something more urgent than usual, he rolled over quickly towards your side. “Friend whispering, why? Question?”
“I have a joke we can play on Ryland.”
“Tell Rocky. Rocky will determine if idea is good.”
You fondly rolled your eyes. Of course the engineer was going to want to inspect your plan first. “Well, you know how our music rule works, right?”
Rocky’s carapace shifted up and down like he was nodding at you. “Yes. You are in control. Grace is not. Rocky does not understand why any of this is important so assume is human thing.”
You clucked your tongue, forgetting that Rocky focused so much on what he was doing in the lab that he often zoned all other noise out. You supposed it made sense. Their language was basically composed of melodies and vibrations, so human music probably just sounded like weird overlapping conversations to him. “Right, so, if Ryland complains about the music then he’s in violation of the rule.”
Rocky spoke softer, as if Ryland was suddenly listening in. “What happen if rule broken? Question?”
You frowned, considering his words. “We actually didn’t decide.” You looked over at Ryland, who was now immersed in what he was doing. “I guess that means that I get to decide what sort of prize I want, right?”
“This makes sense to Rocky,” he agreed, tapping his foot on the floor. “But how does friend get Grace to break?”
At this, your brows furrowed. It would be difficult, but you were sure you could push his buttons far enough for this to work. “Even a teacher’s patience can only go so far, right?”
Rocky rolled away slightly, even his computer voice sounding slightly shaky. “Friend is evil. Rocky see now why they put humans to sleep for journey.”
You brushed off his concerns with a short huff of air through your nose. “Relax, he’s not going to kill me.”
Rocky was already moving away, back towards his station, like he didn’t want to be infected by the energy in yours. “Rocky will watch. Rocky will see.”
His words almost made you reconsider your plan, but then you looked over at Ryland peacefully putting the Taumoeba boxes away and decided you simply couldn’t allow him any peace. Later, you could blame it on the boredom of space, or how you had hit a wall with your language device, but for now all of your attention turned towards irritating your friend.
You switched from Johnny Cash to Tim McGraw, another American country classic, and nothing that would throw Ryland off too much. You saw him bite his lip for a second as you made the switch, but he made no other movements, not even so much as an ill contented sigh. It was odd, how Ryland knew this was out of character for you, but he was still choosing not to comment on it. You gnawed on your lip, wondering how long it could truly take to irritate him. It was no doubt that he was the most patient one on the Hail Mary but his inaction was making you question how far he would go.
You pulled out a drawer in your station and grabbed a notebook and a pen. You flipped it open and scribbled at the top, “Ryland’s annoyance capacity, Test One.” You wrote about your first change in music and his barely visible reaction and then went back to sort of paying attention to your actual project. You needed to wait a little bit in order to up the ante. Ryland was patient, but he wasn’t an idiot. If you kept changing the song every five minutes, he would start to grow suspicious and then your experiment would be rendered null and void.
You waited a solid ten minutes to walk back to the main computer in your setup, adjusting the music to that of Florida Georgia Line, a more modern country group with funny nods to their redneck roots but nothing too obscure. You picked one of their more popular songs to start with and cued up a few more before going back to your ‘work’.
You quietly uncapped your blue pen and tucked your hair behind your ear. Ryland stopped his work for a moment when the song came on. You couldn’t see his face, but he went completely still, just staring at the wall in front of him. It took everything in you to push your laugh down, picturing him with his face screwed up in confusion. Then, as if the matter were settled, he went back to his work. You waited a minute to see if he would do anything else, but after another five more minutes, the boredom started to gnaw at you and you wanted to work on something. You wrote down his reactions in your notes, then turned towards Rocky, giving him one of your keys to test out. The Eridian piano would only prove to be useful if the Eridians could understand it so you ran everything by Rocky before it was implemented. You began to become so engaged in the work, that you almost didn’t notice Ryland calling your name.
“What?” you said, breaking your intense gaze away from Rocky’s fidgeting with your other experiment and turned back towards your human subject.
“I asked who made this song,” he said with a warm smile and a look in his eyes that felt almost too knowing.
“Oh,” you said, feeling the heat rush to your cheeks. You rolled towards your computer in order to have time to recover. “The music station says this is Florida Georgia Line.”
“Oh, okay,” Ryland said with a shrug.
Ryland quickly turned back around, getting back to his work like he had never even asked the question in the first place. You couldn’t help but pester him a little more, just to see if you could get to him. “Is that all you wanted?”
“Yep!” he said cheerily, even popping the P emphatically.
You spun around on your stool to widen your eyes at Rocky and he just shook his head at you. He was becoming more accustomed to human tendencies by the day, and you were pretty sure that you had just been given the disapproving stare of a parent without him having eyes.
Still, you wouldn’t be deterred so easily. Ryland had to have a breaking point, you and Rocky did, so he had to have one too. You just needed to find it. You marked his question in your notebook as well as the time and then set to finding more impossibly silly country music in the database.
You quickly switched to one of Luke Bryan’s earlier albums, moving further into the newer and more unhinged country songs. In your defense, the songs were catchy, and they had a good beat, even if they were mostly about trucks, beer, and women in jean shorts.
You played the album out of order, starting Ryland off a little lighter and then progressively seeing how much he would take. The first song he had no reaction to, you weren’t even sure he’d noticed if you’d switched artists, the second and third song he continued working through, and by the fourth you knew you needed to pull out the lead single.
You pressed play on the opening track, and watched as Ryland furrowed his brows. He placed his hands down on the counter, abandoning the test tube that had been in his hand in the sink. You saw him look up at the speakers then look over at you.
“Isn’t this heavily sexualizing women?”
“Huh?” you asked, looking up from your notebook like you hadn’t just been staring at him just a second ago.
Ryland waved his hands around. “This song and the way he talks about women, I mean I know it’s probably at least a decade old, but isn’t it all a bit misogynistic?”
“Oh,” you said, looking up at the speakers as if you’d just noticed they were playing. “I guess I hadn’t really been listening to the lyrics, I just like the beat,” you lied, knowing that this particular song would set Ryland off. He wasn’t wrong, most country songs were that way when you’d left Earth, but at least they were giving you something to annoy him with. You bit your pen, sensing your opening. “Do you want me to change it?”
Ryland was already turning back towards his vile in the sink. “Nope, was just asking,” he said calmly, but you could see the tightness in his shoulders. You were starting to get to him.
You pivoted slightly, shifting back to the classics and putting on Margaritaville, and watched as Ryland slumped as if he had gotten hit by a middle school insult. You laughed to yourself at the sight of Ryland putting his head in his hands, very clearly fighting to keep his thoughts to himself.
You decided to up your game, adding any songs that included anything close to the words honky tonk or used tractor and sexy in the same metaphor. It was at this point that Ryland fully abandoned his work, instead just sitting on his stool, looking completely dumbfounded. Luckily for you, he seemed to be refusing to look up at you, making it much easier to cover the way you were snickering at him.
With him already down, you decided to go for the kill and you put on Parked Out By The Lake, and waited for Ryland to realize what you’d done. For a moment, he seemed to almost recover what you’d put him through. At first, it seemed to him like the song wasn’t that bad, but by the fourth or fifth line he started to catch on. The song was repeating the same five words over and over again, just in slightly different ways.
You watched as the usually fidgety man grew more and more still, and you furiously scribbled in your notebook, looking over at your stopwatch every few seconds. Halfway through the song, Ryland finally looked up at you.
“This is the worst song I have ever heard,” he said, deadpanning.
Your jaw dropped far more dramatically than what was necessary. “Did you just insult my music?”
You managed to hold back your laughter but Ryland’s eyes narrowed on you. The lab suddenly felt hotter than it had a minute ago and you felt yourself flush at his intense eye contact. It felt as though he was looking right through you, like he could see to the very deepest point of your soul, and knew exactly what you were doing. You jerked your head away and slowly inhaled through your nose, willing your face to cool.
“What?” you asked, praying to any nearby stars that you were keeping your face intact.
He held a finger up. “Wait a second.”
He stood up from his stool and began to walk through his station. Your breath caught in your throat as he drew closer to you, stopping just at the edge of your table and placing his hands on his hips.
He leaned in towards you. “You’re trying to do this.”
You shrugged, your heart hammering in your chest. “Do what?”
Suddenly Ryland was moving towards you, hands reaching out to grab, and you no longer cared for keeping your little act in play. You didn’t know what he was planning on doing when he caught you, but you weren’t going to stick around to find out.
You scrambled to somehow move away, scurrying towards Rocky’s station as if he would protect you. Unfortunately, with you out of the way, Ryland reached out and grabbed your notebook instead of grabbing you.
“Shit,” you muttered under your breath. His eyes flicked down to the notepad and you stood frozen as he silently read the words that would no doubt seal your doomed fate. He looked over the top of his glasses at you as he dropped the paper back on the table and you instinctively took a step back.
“I was your science experiment?” He asked, and if the look he was giving you wasn’t scaring you then the way that he sounded nearly amused certainly was.
You held your hands up in surrender. “Observation is the sincerest form of flattery?”
Ryland dropped the notebook and took after you. You yelped and jumped over Rocky. “Ryland wahahahait!” you laughed, nervous laughter being pulled from you as you realized he was just behind you. You didn’t even know where you were headed. You were technically going in the direction of the bedroom, though you truthfully had no idea how this was going to help you.
Your feet pounded across the ship, and you willed your socked feet not to slip against the ground. A bubbly feeling of anxious tension was rising in your stomach, making you feel as though you were already caught despite the fact that you were still running away from him.
You grabbed a hold of the bedroom door just as Ryland’s arms snaked around your middle. “No!!” you yelled, smacking at his arms, a random assortment of words tumbling out of your lips. “You are the one in violation of the music rules! I should not be the one in trouble here!”
Ryland clucked his tongue. “Oh, you negated your music rule the moment you started using me as a little experiment.”
Ryan gently threw you onto the small makeshift couch that the three of you had set up for when one of you got too tired to climb down from the lab to the bedroom. You squeaked with surprise as you bounced on top of the plush pillows, surprised with the ease that he tossed you with.
“Now,” he said, standing over top of you and essentially cornering you in with his body. “What are we going to do with you?”
You pushed yourself backwards as if you could fade into the wall. “Nothing,” you pleaded, your voice wobbling with uncontained giggles. You weren’t used to seeing him like this and the smarmy way he was looking down at you was making you all too nervous. “You’re gonna let me go.”
Rocky rolled over with a speed that you’d never seen him use outside of dire situations. He pulled at Ryland’s shirt. “𝀌᭴᭵♮᭢᭨᭫᭮”
“Ohhhhhhh,” Ryland said, and then looked at you with the biggest smirk. You looked between him and Rocky trying to determine what was going on. The translator hadn’t turned on, but Ryland clearly knew what Rocky was saying. You started to feel more nervous laughter bubbling up in your throat.
“Will it work on them?” he asked, holding his hand over his mouth as if you couldn’t hear what he was saying.
Rocky nodded his head. “It worked day before last. Rocky tried just like Grace asked. Friend made big noise. Was very cute. Statement.”
You frowned, trying to figure out what Rocky was talking about, but coming up blank. The days on the Hail Mary started to blend together at certain points, but this seemed big enough to Rocky that you felt like you should be able to recall it too. Then, all of sudden you remembered when Rocky had accidentally jabbed you in the side as you had just barely been waking up. You had screeched and giggled as he continued digging his claw into your side for a few more moments, your mind not even awake enough to try fighting him.
Now, however, you were awake and suddenly aware that that moment had been significantly less spontaneous than you’d realized. As you looked up at Ryland leering above you with a smile, you realized that you hadn’t needed to push his buttons to provide yourself with entertainment. He was bored too, and now you’d just given him the perfect excuse to screw with you.
Ryland already knew you were ticklish, thanks to Rocky the traitor, but you couldn’t just let him win.
You sprung from your position against the wall, and slipped around Ryland’s legs, attempting to crawl towards the edge of the makeshift couch. Already giggling furiously, you managed to place a steady foot back on the ground before two hands jabbed your sides, just above your hip bones, and your legs involuntarily gave out.
You fell backwards onto the plush pillows, and looked up to find Ryland who was smiling down at you like he’d just discovered a new star. As you scrambled towards the wall a second time, it started to dawn on you that you might’ve finally found the point that your mild mannered friend turned into a mischievous planner, and your heart started to hammer in your chest.
“No, no,” you said, as Ryland came to sit down beside you. “Hold on, we can talk about this. We’re all very reasonable people.”
“Correct. We’re all scientists, and now I want to run an experiment of my own.”
You swallowed hard, wrapping your arms around your middle and pulling your knees up. This didn’t seem like this could possibly end well for you or your overly sensitive skin. “Which is?”
He cocked his head. “We’re going to see how much of the tickle monster you can take till you apologize.”
He started to wiggle his fingers towards your stomach and you jolted on instinct. “NO!” you yelled.
“Ohhh, very interesting, a ticklish stomach it seems.” Ryland turned around. “Rocky, can you keep notes for me since my hands are a little busy right now?”
Rocky chirped and ran to grab your notebook and pen. “Of course. Friend very ticklish. Make very squeaky noise even when fake tickles.”
“Rocky! Be quiet!” you yelled, somehow feeling even warmer.
“What?” Ryland said, cooing sweetly at you. “Are you feeling too perceived right now?”
“Shut up,” you whined, but then his hands were shooting towards your neck and you screeched without him even touching you.
“Rocky, can you please add that our test subject seems to somehow get even more sensitive when teased?”
You covered your face with your hands in favor of protecting your middle. “I don’t know how to deal with you like this.”
Ryland laughed. “Like what?”
“Like,” you risked a glance outside of your hands, only to find him looking at you like he was prepared to lovingly destroy you within an inch of your life. “Like that!” you said, unable to find anything else.
“Oh, can someone dish it out, but they can’t take it?” he asked, raising a brow.
You frowned at this, sensing that he was very close to feeling like he was winning. “No, I’m just not used to it.”
“Oh, well I suppose we better test that theory then, huh?” Ryland said, shooting a hand out to your side that you effectively blocked.
“Uh uh, none of that.” He hooked his arms under your legs, and pulled them out, sending you sprawling across the cushions.
“No, NO, give them back!” you yelled, trying to scurry back into your curled up position, but Ryland was already climbing on top of your hips, pinning you in place.
“No.” Ryland gently trailed his hands across your arms, it didn’t tickle, but it was enough to send goosebumps across your skin. “We have to finish my experiment.”
He leaned in close to you and whispered. “And the tickle monster can’t conclude his hypothesis without some giggles to prove it.” Ryland then began to wiggle his fingers into your neck and you screeched as your shoulders practically came up to your ears.
“Ryland!” you yelled, squeezing your eyes shut against the horribly ticklish sensation.
“Nope. Tickle monster needs laughter, not your friend's name.”
Indignation hit you like a ton of bricks despite the fact that your unpinned hands were doing very little to fight him off. “You are NOT the tickle monster. We are too old for this!”
“Ooh, tickle monster did not like that answer,” Ryland reached down and squeezed your hips and a bright burst of laughter exploded through you. His thumbs found the divot point in the bone, and you threw yourself forward in shock, only to have Ryland gently push you back down. “Are you trying to invalidate my experiment?”
“Fuhuuhhuhuhuck yohohohohu!” you yelled, your body twisting around wildly in an attempt to dislodge that ticklish feeling from your skin.
“You are so lucky that the tickle monster is here instead of your amazing friend Ryland because he’d probably do this for saying that word,” he said, before grabbing a hold of your wrists and pushing them up to leave your middle unprotected. Before you could process what he was doing or scream, he was bending down to blow a raspberry on your stomach. You screeched as the vibration travelled through you like magic. His scraggly beard was like tiny individual feathers across your sensitive skin and you swore he was moving it around as much as possible.
He sat back up and swiped his fingers across your tummy.
“Rocky, please note that our subject is especially susceptible to raspberries, though we’ll have to try it other places to confirm this theory.”
Rocky chirped and you heaved in enough of a breath to speak. “We are NOT doing that.”
Ryland looked down at you, looking as innocent as the devil. “Why not?”
Your jaw dropped at his audacity for even asking you that. “Because, because- YOU are the one who broke the music complaint rule.”
Ryland threw his hands up with a laugh. “You don’t care about the music rule.”
“You don’t know that,” you breathed out heavily.
Ryland cocked his head. “I have a different hypothesis, do you want to hear it?”
“What?” you said, raising your brows.
He poked your shoulder. “I think you would’ve picked this as your compensation for me breaking the rule.”
You weren’t aware that your face could get any warmer. “I would NOT”
Ryland leaned back, looking smug. “Okay, then apologize for your experiment and I’ll let you go right now.”
You glared at him. It wasn’t like you were craving the feeling of his fingers sending that zappy tingly feeling through your nerves, or the playful energy that was currently buzzing around the inside of the Hail Mary, but you simply couldn’t give him the satisfaction of letting him win that easily. “I won’t apologize for being a thorough scientist.”
Ryland twisted around to yell over his shoulder. “Rocky, please note down that its possible our test subject likes being tickled but we need more proof before our conclusion.”
You would’ve pushed him if you still had your hands. “Ryland, stop teasing!”
“Sorry, I can't help you. Ryland isn’t here, if you need something you’ll have to address the tickle monster,” he said, before clawing his fingers into your armpits. You yelped and kicked, and then descended back into laughter as your skin twitched underneath his careful hands.
He was nearly methodical in his methods, alternating between softly stroking the skin, spidering his fingernails, and scratching at your hollows. “Subject seems to be more susceptible to lighter softer touches, but we will have to try elsewhere to be sure it isn’t a fluke,” he said, and you heard Rocky chirping behind him before his words started to make sense to you.
“Try ribs, usually ticklish for humans,” Rocky suggested, and you tried to pull your arms down to no avail.
“Good idea Rock, I almost forgot about those.”
“Bad idea, no bAD IDEA!” you tried to say, but then Ryland’s hands were softly scritching across your sides again, taking his sweet time in wiggling his fingers across each bone. He alternated between each side, making you lean into one of his hands, only to change which hand was doing the tickling.
“Grace!” you pleaded, descending into the madness of your giggles.
“I might listen if you call me by my real name, you know,” he said, letting his hands trail down to your stomach. You nearly shot up out of your skin, but all Ryland had to do was squeeze your sides again, and you went right back down.
His hands went right back to your stomach and it felt like your nerves and your face was on fire. His hands twitched just above your belly button making your laughter turn deeper as you tried to suck your stomach in to no avail and you squeezed your eyes shut. The sensation ran deep, like the feeling of his hands was spreading hazy warm waves through your body and the laughter was all heading straight to your brain.
“Switch spohohohohts!” you begged, needing him to be anywhere else other than your stomach.
“Hey Rock, can you write down that it appears that our test subject would rather deal with what appears to be their worst spot being picked apart than say the word tickle?”
You opened your eyes to gape at him, but promptly wished you hadn’t as he looked down at you in mock sympathy.
“Yes. Does appear to be stubborn when solution is so obvious. Rocky think friend too flustered to say word.”
“You bohohohohoth SUCK!” you yelled, wishing you could give both of your mischievous crewmates a withering glare, but laughing too much to even be able to speak properly.
Ryland smiled down at you. “If you want me to switch spots then you’ll have to ask the tickle monster.”
You were never going to live this down, but you were going to explode if he kept raking his fingers against the soft skin of your middle. “Tihihi- tihihih,” you started, then got too flustered to finish. Ryland squeezed your sides again and you yelped loudly. “Tihihihckle mohohohonster, please!”
“Interesting that you said that and not the words that stop this,” Ryland murmured plenty loud enough for you and Rocky to hear it as his hands fluttered at the sides of your neck once more.
“Rocky, do you think we have enough information to present our conclusion?”
“Not enough data. Friend is fine. Must keep going.”
“Friend is NOT fine,” you yelped, as Ryland accidentally brushed his fingers across the shell of your ear.
“Your ears are ticklish too?” Ryland all but yelled.
“Yours are wOHOHOHORSE!” you laugh screeched as he swirled his fingers around your ear and his nails scuttled across your neck. You tried to push your ear into the pillows but that just left the other side exposed, leaving you in a never ending search for a place where Ryland’s tickles could not reach you.
“Maybe so,” Ryland said, flushing a little red, but smirking too much for your liking. “But I’m not the one screaming.”
“I’m not screa-NO!” you had started to say into a pillow only to have a pair of lips press into the sensitive skin of your neck and blow as hard as possible. You shrieked loudly enough that it would’ve been embarrassing if you were with anyone else, but instead you just happily giggled yourself silly.
Ryland pulled back and you heaved in air as he gently brushed your hair out of the way. “Anytime you want to admit that you shouldn’t have experimented on Ryland I’m happy to hear it.”
You did your best to glare up at him. “You are so mean!”
Ryland shrugged and blew another raspberry on your neck, wiggling his face around and pressing that horribly ticklish stubble into your skin. “FINE!” you shrieked. “Ryland, I’m sohohohohry!”
He raised his head from your neck. “And what do you have to say to me?”
You inhaled a breath, willing yourself to be able to say the word again. You opened your mouth to say it right as Ryland bent down again, his lips connected with your neck and a gutteral scream came out instead. The vibrations were toying with your nerves and it broke down any walls you had left.
“Tickle monster PLEASE! I give!” you yelled, and Ryland pulled back,
“That’ll work,” he smiled, and you inhaled air like you chugged water on a hot day.
“You’re evil,” you looked up at him through your eyelashes. “I always thought you were too nice, but underneath those sweaters and kindness is an evil, evil man.”
Rocky scittered towards you. “Ryland not evil. Friend is lying. Had fun. Statement.”
You looked at Rocky in horror but Ryland only laughed and got off of your legs. He curled his hand under your knee and you jolted, but he only moved you around so your back was against his chest, his arms pulling the two of you close. You settled into him easily and Rocky pressed in beside you, tucking into Ryland’s side, “Rocky has a point you know, you never told me to stop.” he whispered in your ear.
“Shut up,” you hissed, resituating yourself overtop of his legs.
He laughed good naturedly, but Rocky shifted beside him. “Grace also seems happier now. Less bored.”
At these words Grace actually blushed, and his reaction hit you like a ton of bricks. He had said all of those things about how easily you were teased and yet he was being just as bashful about what had just happened. You smiled, realizing you weren’t the only one who had fun but wouldn’t admit it.
Rocky made a clicking noise. “We did two tests. What are conclusions? Question?”
You looked up at Ryland as he tilted his head side to side. “Subject is clearly unbearably ticklish-” you tried to reach your hand up to cover Ryland’s mouth, but he only grabbed a hold of your hands and held them to your chest like he was hugging you.
“The tester had a little bit too much fun tormenting me I think!” you pointed out, and though Ryland’s blush deepened, he pressed on.
“But between a combination of sheer obstinance and holding a secret enjoyment for the game, was able to hold out for a long time.” You wiggled around, trying to break out of Ryland’s hold but between his strength and your exhaustion you were stuck being forced to listen to his teasing words or come up with your own.
“You had more fun than me,” you said, your voice rising in pitch.
Ryland raised a brow, the look you were sure he’d given dozens of students before. “Is this you admitting you had fun?”
You let your head slump forward. “Shush-” you groan.
Ryland laughs and Rocky chirps.
“You look sleepy,” Ryland coos, looking down at you.
You nuzzle your head into Ryland’s side. “I’m gonna get you back so bad.”
Ryland begins to stroke your hair, and if it was possible, you can almost feel the heat of his smile on you. “I have no doubts.”
Your eyes began to flutter shut. “Rocky and I are gonna team up and it’ll be over for you.”
As if in response, Rocky curls around you, the warmth of his carapace making you feel so cozy and safe and Ryland murmurs contentedly. “Mhmm, I’m sure.”
You yawn loudly and curl your fingers into Ryland’s soft sweater.
“Friend sleep. I watch. We attack Grace later.”
You nod and you begin to drift off as you listen to the Hail Mary quietly humming around you, as if the sounds of your laughter are still echoing through the air. The journey to Erid still felt long and unending as it was laid out ahead of you but with the presence of your two best friends beside you, even the vastness of space felt warm.
Me and my friends are watching Blue Valentine and there’s a tickle scene where Ryan Gosling tickles Michelle Williams characters and his laughter in the scene is so genuine i am sat here trying to act SO NORMAL and it’s not working…
Travelling through space is boring, it gives your brain time to realise the crushing truth of you're never going home and also you have to somehow make 5 years pass without dying of boredom first.
Some small hurt comfort but mostly grace and the reader being goofy with each other (intended as platonic)
you had decided that space was entirely boring and you hated it. Who would have thought that after saving two worlds and civilisations the flight home may be the thing that killed you off.
Another month down of our five year journey down and you had been consuming an ungodly amount of media, everyday you thanked Stratt more and more for going to court to make sure me and the others had all current media in the world because you definitely would have gone crazy... or maybe killed Grace. By this point numbing your mind was the only thing that kept you from facing the truth that you were never going home and you would never see your loved ones again and god it was getting harder to deal with that fact.
"Ah here you are" Grace plops into the nest you had made in the don't go crazy room startling you from your depressive spiral "are you seriously watching the Bratz animated movies right now?" he scoffs as you look at him surprised "what my students loved those films"
"somehow you manage to shock me everyday despite how close we live together" you chuckled shaking your head.
"hey I was a cool teacher"
"uh huh sure"
he holds a hand to his heart "are you doubting my abilities?"
"no, I'm sure your kids love- loved you Grace" a sad smile crosses your face as you let out a deep sigh looking back at the ground the tired look returning to your eyes.
"hey come on talk to me, what's going on?" Ryland asked concerned seeing the look on your face and immediately putting an arm on your shoulder comfortingly.
"I-I I miss earth and my family I don't regret turning back for Rocky not at all but a part of me wishes there was another way... is that selfish? tears start to fall down your cheeks hitting the soft pillows of your nest.
you feel him pull you into his side it was different for him you know that he was here under completely different circumstances he never wanted this originally and going to Erid was something he was looking forward to he was looking forward to spending the rest of his life with Rocky and his mate but for you, you had a life, you missed your parents, your friends and your loved ones and you wanted to see them again you knew you never would and that's extremely hard to deal with. You cry into his arms quietly letting him hold and ground you, you loved Ryland you did he was family to you and you would learn to live in this new life with him, Rocky and Adrian it would just take time.
"now I hate to sound like a teacher but hiding yourself in this room watching old Bratz movies is almost certainly adding to the spiral of your mental health so we are gonna do something fun okay" Grace said as he pulls you up from your place on the floor chuckling at your groan "I know I know but were gonna play a game!" he said clapping his hands, god the teacher in this man never left it was radiating from him at the moment.
"what are we gonna play?" you asked him small smirk on your face which didn't go unnoticed by Grace as he let out a small sigh of relief.
"Mmmm how about tag?" he smirked
"Tag? seriously how old are we?" you laughed but could feel some excitement building in your stomach.
"come on! It will be fun! get some cardio! I'll be it" he smirked as he extravagantly stretched getting another chuckle from you.
"Fine fine I'll play tag" you laugh also stretching, this would be fun you could definitely out run grace anyway you're younger and were pretty fit or at least you were it had been a while since you tried to do anything physical wise.
"you get a 10 second head start then all bets are out" Grace smirked as you hopped from foot to foot.
"see you never Grace" you laughed as you ran into the corridor and heard Grace counting down from the don't go crazy room.
"10... 9... 8... 7... 6... "
oh fuck
"5... 4... 3..."
you hate being chased it makes you so nervous.
"2... 2 and a half..."
oh this twat remembered that as well.
"1... ready or not here I comeee" you heard Grace shout before hearing his heavy footsteps as he ran after you.
fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck.
you were panicking now and running looking for places to hide maybe when you heard him getting closer you couldn't help the nervous giggles that escaped your lips as you ran aimlessly around Mary.
"Grace wait!" you practically squeal as you see him getting closer shit eating grin on his face.
"ready or not here I come!" he teases getting closer grabbing for you but you manage to just get a slight ahead before he pulls you into a tight bear hug from behind causing you to let out a cry "Shit GRACE"
You didn't mean to let out such a scared cry but Graces laughter brought back some sense to you "god you're an arsehole" you mumble holding onto his arms as he hugs you.
"Aren't you supposed to run now?" you ask still being held by him.
"I just thought of something" Grace said still not letting you go, okay this was suspicious now.
"what?"
"are you ticklish?"
fuck, this could not be happening to you, it couldn't you'd gone this long without him finding out.
"what" you stammer out.
"oh, you so are!" Grace laughs moving one hand to your side.
"No! no I- Grahahace!" you squeal as he starts clawing at your waist satisfied smile on his face
"you lied to me!" he acts betrayed digging into your waist harder eliciting louder laughter from you
Hell. you had decided that you were in fact in hell and Ryland Grace was your torturer.
"Grahahace! Plhehehase!" you cry out as he moves from your sides to your stomach spidering his fingers against your lose shirt and circling your belly button "Plhehehase!" your knees buckle but he keeps you held up in his arms god he as obnoxiously strong for such a nerd.
"Please what? tickle you more? but of course my lady" he moves up your ribs digging into each one individually acting like he was counting them individually back and forward each time eliciting a higher pitched scream from you.
"Grahahace! it thihihckles plehehase!" a snort escapes much to your dismay and to Graces delight "what was that do that again" he digs his thumb into your hips getting that snort again he had 100% realised where your worst spot was.
he digs both thumbs into your hips and you exploded you screeched as he kept digging in your laughter going silent as he worked your hips ruthlessly.
"OKAY OKAY ENOUGH PLEHEHEHASE" you screech clawing at his hands trying to get him to let go.
"okay okay jeez" he immediately stopped but still held you in his arms as your residual giggles subsided.
"I hate you Ryland Grace" you chuckle putting your head back against his chest taking in deep breaths of sweet sweet oxygen as you calmed down.
"no you don't you would have asked me to stop if you hated me or it" he smirked as he let you go and you pouted at him.
What he doesn't expect is for you to hug him tightly.
"thanks Grace" you mumble into his chest as he put a hand on your hair stroking your head soothingly.
"any time" he mumbles into your hair.
being in space was boring and it was existential hell. but there is no one you would rather get through this with.
End-
Ahh I hope this is okay it's my first time properly writing in like 6 years! i had a great time writing it and thank you for all the support on my head canons <3 you guys are awesome.
Is anyone also obsessed with Ryan’s entire discography atm? I wanna write for the Fall Guy as well and maybe some Coltland, hell maybe I’ll even slide in the nice guys as well 🥲
I told you guys I would start posting everything in my head straight away! Bare with me whilst I get back into my writing boots <3
Grace is a super physical guy with people he is close to, strangers wouldn't think it however if he is close with a person he LOVES physical affection of all forms. (I strongly headcanon he and Ilyukhina would sit on a sofa legs sprawled over each other discussing the mission)
With his love for physical affection comes a love for tickling and he loves to tickle others, whether it be a jab in one of his friends sides or full on bear hug tickling someone he loves it, he loves seeing his loved ones laugh so freely (is also immensely ticklish but that's for another time)
He's not a mean Ler however he is smug which some would argue is more unbearable because he has a shit eating grin on his face whilst he is tickling or teasing his victims.
He is a lover of the build up, he gets that glean in his eyes and you know you're in for it. you know that slow head tilt he does I imagine he will turn around to his lee slowly looking over his glasses tilting his head and you KNOW you're in for it.
He lovesssss a chase even more if you run just know you will be chased down, and this man is faster than he looks so he will purposefully slow down to prolong the chase until you're already a pile of giggles when he gets to you.
He either starts tickling one of two ways after a chase.
One, if he's managed to corner you he will slowly approach wiggling his fingers so your curl up into yourself giggling even harder before he finally gets to you and starts slowly tickling your stomach or sides and relishing in it as you fall into laughter leaning your head against his chest holding onto his wrists.
Two, if he grabs you from behind bear hug style he immediately grapples into your sides digging into your sides and ribs and tickling ruthlessly from the start following you down to the ground where he will proceed to pin you down and tickle the ever loving shit out of you.
On the topic of shit, so help you god if you swear when he tickles you you're getting "punished" and by punished he is going for where ever you are most ticklish and drilling into that spot until you apologise, will stay stuff like "Oh so that's how its gonna be huh?" "do you want to apologise for your language yet? No well guess I'll have to keep teaching you a lesson until you do"
On that note Grace is a teaser, he will tease the ever loving daylights out of you saying things along the lines of "oh what was that?" or "it tickles? well that's kind of the point!" this man is a menace through and through.
when he's finished tickling you he will hang around a while and make sure you're all good he's always one to check in on boundaries and to make sure nothing was to far.
When he's made sure you're all good he'll walk away like nothing has happened with a ruffle of your hair or a final poke to the side.
When he sees you around for the rest of the day he will throw a smug smile your way or pretend to grab at you to watch you flinch away and takes sick joy from it.
Ahhhh I hope you guys like them :) please feel free to send in requests!!
This is my first post on my new account after years and I'm wanting to get back into writing some fluffy pieces for Project Hail Mary I hope people enjoy and feel free to send in requests!
