the wizard of loneliness

parasocial wolf of sadness

[drumandbas3d]

my music is out

[drumandbas3d]

bye bye brasil

[yard666sale]

[drumandbas3d]

life lately is difficult and painful. it seems like i’ll be going to san jose for awhile instead of new york. no one wants me there. not yet. but i have to keep making my stuff

[drumandbas3d]

[melanchol1e-deactivated20250809]

[theresbloodonyouu]

[drumandbas3d]

[drumandbas3d]

the pain is recurring with a frequency i haven’t witnessed before. it’s been 6 years now. i am so angry. i wish there were someone to blame. it is stealing my youth. it is killing my soul. how can i be an artist if my soul is dead? i feel like a puppet, suspended in midair precariously by invisible strings. i remember a time where i took so much advil i threw up blood. my body is a prison and my brain is polluted. i want a future. i want to play noise shows. i want to run the PA at a shitty venue. i want to lug an amp to a gig. carry my guitar on my back for hours. how will i explain to employers that my body is worthless? i am so heartbroken. i have no hope. i see no future

[hrjrjj]

[drumandbas3d]

i miss brian wilson

[drumandbas3d]

[drumandbas3d]

yesterday was fun

[drumandbas3d]

borys and cris bagel during the semester

[drumandbas3d]

i’ve got it in my head that i’m salieri

[drumandbas3d]

big day in worcester

[drumandbas3d]

how else am i going to remember the way it feels