dualanya

this is an art blog.

[dualanya]

i did it, guys - i published a book. :')

a clockwork melody is available to purchase on lulu.com, and will be coming to major ebook retailers hopefully in the next 6-8 weeks.

for more information on the story and applicable trigger warnings, you can take a look at the book's official page here.

[dualanya]

i just killed a man, she’s my alibi

merry pride! have my two favourite lesbians 💕🌈

[dualanya]

i ended up tweaking jasper’s design again (updated version on the left) in that i went back to how i used to draw his eyes. i don’t remember my initial reason in changing it? i think it was for … spoilery reasons that i’ll ramble on about under a cut, but i feel like this looks more like him now.

the only reason i can think of for why i stopped drawing his eyes this way was maybe so he looked more like gideon…? but i think i prefer a more subtle resemblance anyway lol

[dualanya]

je te laisserai des mots, en dessous de ta porte, en dessous de la lune qui chante

but it’s just a headache, isn’t it?

i’ve had migraine headaches as long as i can remember, longer than i even knew they weren’t just regular headaches. i remember being around eighteen before my mum pointed out that my dad had always suffered from migraines, and that what i was experiencing wasn’t normal. they’re not as bad as they used to be, partly because of managing comorbid conditions and finding ways to reduce pain without medication. it’s just another one of those things that i wish i could convey what it feels like, because i’ve spent so much of my life just finding a way to deal with the pain that people no longer think it affects me.

continuing the project of illustrating chronic pain has been more difficult than i thought it would be. i think part of it is that i’m going through no small amount of emotional turmoil, and creating these images is cathartic but also freezes me in that moment of pain a bit longer than i would like. i definitely want to continue with these, working my way up to what endometriosis feels like, but i don’t feel like i’m ready to do so yet.

[dualanya]

i had all and then most of you, some and now none of you

if i could show you how it feels, would you even believe me?

hello, long time no see - i’ve been slacking on posting updates here, partly because i haven’t been drawing much but also because uhhh life smacked me in the face with a shovel. i drew this around the time that i ended a five year relationship because i found out that my partner was cheating on me for about nine months with a mutual friend, so a lot of my creative endeavours have kind of just been… halted. this was the first thing i was able to draw in a while, and as rough and messy as it is i do kind of love it for being the first thing i was able to make after i dragged myself out of that spiral.

the idea for this came from a support group i attended for pelvic pain, where we talked about how we wished we could show people what pain felt like. i don’t know if i’m ready to tackle what endometriosis feels like to me, but i figured i’d start on something easy, a visual that had come to mind a long time ago - how having an asthma attack feels as if my lungs are wrapped in barbed wire.

[dualanya]

well shit

[dualanya]

got my heel crushing the snake, there is nothing you can take

i’ve been obsessed ever since i heard the new league of legends song and i knew it wouldn’t leave my head until i drew all these

[dualanya]

think i forgot how to be happy, something i’m not but something i can be

i’m alive! it took me a while to recover enough to actually focus on art, but i had the idea for this while i was recuperating and i’ve had… A Lot of thoughts

it’s no secret i’ve based a lot of charlotte off of my own health struggles, and it’s been very cathartic for me to write her story with that in mind, but… i realized post-op that i had a medical procedure that would never have been accessible to charlotte because of the time period she was born into, and that made me so immeasurably sad.

i really resent the idea of magic being used to “cure” disabilities in media, and i don’t want a deux ex machina to cure charlotte, but. i want her to be happy as well, she deserves that.

[dualanya]

will you still love me when i’m no longer young and beautiful?

i saw this was a theme on insta again and i couldn’t not revisit my tragic immortal/mortal duo with @ichorastralis

when i say this broke me… i am so distraught with myself for doing this LOL, but also super proud i didn’t cave and just post the happy one after i finished it :’D

on a personal note, i’m having surgery this week so if i stop posting for a bit that is probably why hahaha wish me luck

[dualanya]

in the theme of stumbling across old artwork to do it justice, i spent … an embarrassing amount of time searching for the half finished sketch i did of this guy because i wanted a second shot at it

i am immensely pleased i did

in past me’s defense, i am pretty sure photoshop straight up crashed which is why i never finished this (2018 vs 2023)

[dualanya]

there’s something rotten, i feel it inside me…

i've been listening to incubator by zoë starra a lot lately. i've had some complicated emotions towards some Health Issues, and it really encapsulates a lot of them really well, lol.

bonus version with hands + tech, since i thought it looked cool but didn't like it enough to post everywhere:

[dualanya]

scattered across forever out from creation’s core an end beyond compare i r i d i u m

about … six years ago i did i super shitty sketch of the lutaidhr at work with three coloured pencils, and when i stumbled across it the other day in my google photos highlight i was compelled to rework it.

the tattoos are a major spoiler so just pretend you don’t see them if you ever wanna be surprised by this plot twist

bonus bloodier version:

[dualanya]

where did i go wrong? i lost a friend

i did it again, i forgot to post ✨art✨ here

gwen’s been through a lot, she can Not write with that hand anymore welp

[dualanya]

i had this wip in procreate for months, i did so much research for fighting stance references and then it sat unfinished for ages until i went to go and finish it the other day lmao

i had the idea that matt is low key very good at mma and probably used this to his advantage beating up transphobes or just anyone who threatened him or his friends

bonus more overtly trans version:

[dualanya]

i'm criminally late to the barbie mugshot trend but here are the crime husbands in all their glory @ichorastralis

[dualanya]

but now, i'm fading to black their teeth in me, the way that i bled so easily, but when i look back i became what they did to me

it's been literal Years since i drew líadain and i needed to correct that

bonus slightly spoilery version:

[dualanya]

and if we don’t live forever maybe one day, we’ll trade places darling, you will bury me before i bury you

i was inspired by this skeleton of a scythian woman who apparently chose to be buried with her husband, and of course… i immediately thought of charlotte and jasper.

excuse me while i drown in my tears—