Hail to the King, Baby

𝗜𝘁'𝘀 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗸𝗶𝗰𝗸 𝗮𝘀𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗰𝗵𝗲𝘄 𝗯𝘂𝗯𝗯𝗹𝗲𝗴𝘂𝗺, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗜'𝗺 𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗼𝘂𝘁𝘁𝗮 𝗴𝘂𝗺.

[dukenukemwastaken]

Damn, I'm handsome.

But you already knew that - I am the Duke Nukem.

Now, you better read this, or I might have to engage my mighty foot... on your face.

indefinitely on hiatus; left up as an archive. old intro below

☢ Everything from the games will be here. Expect sexual/suggestive content, drugs, violence, and worst of all, graphic depictions of pining for Postal Dude. Because that's absolutely canon

☢ No DNI, generally no rules for asks. Mod doesn't ERP though. Flirting and confessions of undying love (or lust, me too man) are cool.

So, go wild - but not too wild, ya hear? I know it's difficult to control yourselves around me.

☢ Don't take anything seriously, if he's being a dick it's him being a dick :)

☢ Other fandoms go ahead and interact, even if I don't know you

Headcanons

☢ Whiny fuckin dickhead. This is DNF Duke, not DN3D Duke. Sorry not sorry

☢ ADHD final boss, dyslexia, NPD (narcissistic personality disorder... fucking duh) ☢ Bisexual, preference for women. Now ex-internalised homophobe... we love a journey of self discovery. Still won't ask a certain ginger out though ☢ Rich. REALLY rich, and very sheltered. He doesn't understand middle-class lives at all. The idea of cooking for himself would be a completely original thought to him ☢ Just a tad (a fucking lot) stupid. And gullible. Easily swayed if you just get him to talk about himself... you promise not to use that against him? Blinks up at you

These are just mine though, I left it short on purpose. Stick your own onto him and I'll probably play along C:

[dukenukemwastaken]

Do you like rats

They're cool little guys.

[dukenukemwastaken]

I made u And Dude on tomodatchi life and you fell in love with him

What the hell's a "Tomodatchi?" Doesn't sound too far off, though.

[dukenukemwastaken]

Hey, what the hell is going on here?

Hot damn. Not that I'm gay or anything, but I've got a smokin' hot clone.

[dukenukemwastaken]

👅👅👅👅

Blehhhh.

[dukenukemwastaken]

Since you were taken, were you found? Or are you like George not found? Because you haven’t been found?

- question request from my amazing wonderful gorgeous partner. They wanted me to ask you that!

What's a George not found? 'Cause, I was found. Of course I was found.

[sign-my-petition-2003]

thoughts on eating raw meat my good sir?

I love my meat raw.

[dukenukemwastaken]

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[dukenukemwastaken]

What do you think of Sam Stone (Serious Sam)?

I wouldn't say we're friends, but I know the guy.

[dukenukemwastaken]

Is your legal last name Nukem

On the birth certificut.

[dukenukemwastaken]

Duke, my husband was squashed by a train, any advice?

Unsquash. You've gotta wring him out.

[dukenukemwastaken]

Have you heard of this sick ass thing called “Concussion”

I have, actually. Very cool. Love handing them out.

[dukenukemwastaken]

is ur last name burger

Not really, no.

[dukenukemwastaken]

Just a funny and silly little guy

So funny. Maybe not silly.

But definitely funny.

[dukenukemwastaken]

That was very funny, Duke

I know. I'm just a funny guy.

[dukenukemwastaken]

Should we do something?

Nah. Let them... Duke it out. Eh? Eh?

Sorry, not sorry.

[dukenukemwastaken]

They’re a tad bit loud

Yeah... a tad.

[dukenukemwastaken]

Uh, Duke? Dude’s ex is here . .

I heard. And so did the entire country of China.