Dumb Sh*t I hear at work @dumbshitfromwork - Tumblr Blog

It's rusty from noses

CH

Embassy of Taiwan in the United States YOU DUMB FUCK!

My boss, shouting into his phone, trying to make google find an embassy that doesn't exist....

Boss: Man it's great having a conference room isn't it? I wonder what we would've done in our old office?

Us: use the conference room?

Boss: oh yeah... we did have a conference room there didn't we?

Maybe that's my problem- that I just use cheerio bowls instead of bathrooms.... Maybe that's why I don't have friends

Karma's a bitch and so am I

Me

Bitch games; strong enough for a man, made by a woman

MH

Two dumbs make a smrat!

A&Ch

We proudly play bitch games and win bitch prizes!

H to me: (we're working on a carpentry project) i'm gonna make you wear a plaid shirt and call you Al Whoreland

Me: Hey what's the length on that 4' section of tube steel?

H: *blank stare* do you mean the tube steel that is 4 feet?

Staplegun 1

Safety Manager 0

Don't worry though, he only really sprained his pride.

Just work thoughts

For the number of times I've jokingly chucked a flip flop, sandal, or shoe towards my coworkers when we're being assholes to each other, it's amazing none of them have wound up in the trash.

If you survive, congratulations on your new vagina! (Aka traumatic vaginosis, or sudden onset vagina)

CH

I'm a fucking turd blossom looking for a dongle.

GW

listening to my half stoned boss try to troubleshoot our event program over the phone is always a giggle fest

Me: Hey do you have a ruler laying around? (I wanted to get an idea of size for a project I was trying to figure out)

GW: I AM a ruler. Me: Ok, show me 12 inches. GW: *laughter*

That's what i call my junk, 'Pokey McGiblets'

NG

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Dumb Sh*t I hear at work