namgyu isn’t fond of being touched, in any way. the lapse in his memories doesn’t provide him with reason why, it’s simply a fact that he has lived with for the longest time. a brush of skin would so much as make him recoil, a sensation that’d ignite the urge to scratch at his own skin until the itch is gone. it’s not a weakness, per se, someone touching him isn’t a kryptonite that renders him useless in battle. it’s just grating, the thought of letting someone so close—too close—that there’s contact beyond the minute necessity of momentarily sharing a space.
what makes jihu so different then? upon first glance, he shouldn’t be anything special. in fact, they stand on opposite ends of the line. the prodigy son of a celebrated hero set for a lavish lifestyle, and a wanted criminal constantly running from authorities with no dime to his name. if this were a comic book, they’d be designated the role of protagonist and antagonist. but as they sit side-by-side on the rooftop of an abandoned building, they find themselves tangled in one another, whether in body or soul.
jihu should have been just like everyone else, blending into the background; an ant under his shoe posing as a righteous savior who sees no wrong in the systematic immorality of the heroic community he is a part of. namgyu doesn’t care for morals—but he hates being preached to. instead of doing that though, jihu willingly steps into the cesspool of namgyu’s created chaos, both their hands tainted with blood; invisible to the naked eye.
is that why? namgyu allows jihu to hold onto his waist with a specific intensity that might leave a mark on his skin. namgyu doesn’t make any motion to pull away when jihu’s hands explode the surface of his body, underneath his shirt. on the contrary, namgyu inches closer with a teasing smile, an amused laugh falling out of his lips. “you’re frustrating,” he replies rather belatedly, with no hint of the usual malice that usually accompanies his manner of speech.
a spark would set off in his brain, and it feels oddly familiar, but no matter how many hours he ruminates on his lost memories he’d always come up empty handed ( not for a lack of trying ). he settles for this, the feeling of jihu’s lips against his, the crackles resounding in his head. it’s not supposed to feel good, but it does, his lips parting easily as jihu’s tongue slides in between—coupled with jihu’s roaming hands unrelenting, a noise stumbles out of him. light, soft. different. a craving.
he’s equally in need of catching his breath as jihu is—or maybe it’s how jihu looks, as their gaze meet. hungry, heated. with a hint of desperation that doesn’t seem to be the norm for someone like jihu. it fills him with a strange sort of greed—to see how much he many buttons can he push before jihu snaps. it’s fun, exciting, unpredictable.
“you want me?” he turns, properly, slowly climbing onto jihu’s lap. taking his time, allowing jihu to wait. this feels normal too—sitting on jihu’s lap, making himself comfortable. “i’m already here though,” he says, feigning confusion.
his fingers coil around jihu’s wrist, following the trail upwards as another laugh comes out of him. higher, higher, higher. exposing more of namgyu’s skin.
“how do you want me?” he whispers into jihu’s ear once more, the hem of his shirt hangs loosely over their joined hands as namgyu entwines their fingers, the last remaining protective barrier. “like this?” his other hand rests against jihu’s cheek, swiping his thumb along the outline of jihu’s scar.
a noise escapes namgyu's lips and jihu smiles.
he watches as namgyu plays with him – the prey having it's way with the predator. it's cute, it's charming, if anything jihu's sure that he's fallen in love with this. his legs part just slightly, as namgyu climbs onto his lap. it's a sort of intimacy that jihu hasn't shared with anyone else. he loathes the idea of doing so.
his personal space had always been somewhat of a priority to him, and that included his body. for some reason, he hated the idea of letting anyone too close – relationships always ending quickly because of the lack of intimacy ( both physical and mental ) between him and his girlfriends.
but with namgyu it's different, with namgyu he allows him to dig the deepest parts of him. he knows nothing about namgyu, and it's clear that namgyu knows nothing about himself. but jihu doesn't hate that, there's a sort of pull about namgyu that he can't quite ignore. a warmth that he can't find with anyone else, and at this point refuses to.
he can try ( though he won't ), but namgyu settles so well on his lap, looks so pretty like this in front of him, their hands intertwined as he exposes his skin. jihu is sure that his eyes are hungry, that they crave something more than this. there's a fire in his chest as well, one that only namgyu seems to be able to ignite.
it's when namgyu swipes the outline of his scar does jihu's smile widen. what had once been a smile of pure lust, now mixed with an emotion he thinks is akin to affection. though it isn't like jihu to say this out loud. it also isn't like jihu to acknowledge these feelings as well. but his smile is warm and he leans in to plant a kiss on namgyu's lips. soft this time, before the fangs of his teeth drag down namgyu's bottom lip.
how do you want me?
