namgyu feels good – he feels amazing, really. in a way that jihu can't quite describe. namgyu is to jihu what he thinks a craving is, but it's a craving he can't quite tire of. their first meeting had been nothing close to normal, their second even more so, and now here they were, jihu's hands underneath the boy's shirt as he nestled his face close between the crook of namgyu's neck.
there's something so undeniably familiar about namgyu that he can't quite put his finger on. his chest swells in a way that isn't entirely unwelcome, and he enjoys the heat they both share with one another like this. so close, and yet, not close enough.
he listens as namgyu speaks, humming as his lips play across the other boy's skin. it's funny, jihu knows very little about namgyu and yet he feels the closest to him. "is it frustrating?" he asks, lifting his eyes slightly to meet namgyu's. so pretty. jihu doesn't think much about beauty ( doesn't think that there's anything beautiful in this world to start with ), but if he had to choose something that felt close to what he thought beauty might be like... he thinks he'd choose namgyu.
namgyu and his eyes, namgyu and his face, namgyu and his hands as they run through his hair.
he allows namgyu to press their bodies closer, the grip he has on his friend's waist tightening as his fingers run circle against his bare skin from underneath his shirt. jihu is no stranger to how namgyu's body looks like, has probably memorized it in the back of his head. has had dreams about it, to the point that he thinks it may border obsession. not that he hates that.
"i needed a break," he sighs, and he relishes in this feeling. namgyu is so warm, and jihu – despite never really allowing himself to get so close to someone else – wants more of it. more of namgyu, more of his warmth. "you're a good distraction," he laughs softly.
namgyu kisses the side of his head, and jihu smiles. he pulls away, only slightly, to angle himself better. he parts his lips, and allows them to meet namgyu's. this he isn't unfamiliar with. the feeling of namgyu wrapped around his arms, as his tongue would slide it's way between his lips, his hands – rough from having spent hours in the academy – gliding around the boy's torso, until they reach his chest. more, more, jihu wants more.
he finally pulls away, panting slightly. "what do you think?" he asks, but there's a smile playing on his lips, an intent in his eye that he can't quite hide. "i want you."
namgyu isn’t fond of being touched, in any way. the lapse in his memories doesn’t provide him with reason why, it’s simply a fact that he has lived with for the longest time. a brush of skin would so much as make him recoil, a sensation that’d ignite the urge to scratch at his own skin until the itch is gone. it’s not a weakness, per se, someone touching him isn’t a kryptonite that renders him useless in battle. it’s just grating, the thought of letting someone so close—too close—that there’s contact beyond the minute necessity of momentarily sharing a space.
what makes jihu so different then? upon first glance, he shouldn’t be anything special. in fact, they stand on opposite ends of the line. the prodigy son of a celebrated hero set for a lavish lifestyle, and a wanted criminal constantly running from authorities with no dime to his name. if this were a comic book, they’d be designated the role of protagonist and antagonist. but as they sit side-by-side on the rooftop of an abandoned building, they find themselves tangled in one another, whether in body or soul.
jihu should have been just like everyone else, blending into the background; an ant under his shoe posing as a righteous savior who sees no wrong in the systematic immorality of the heroic community he is a part of. namgyu doesn’t care for morals—but he hates being preached to. instead of doing that though, jihu willingly steps into the cesspool of namgyu’s created chaos, both their hands tainted with blood; invisible to the naked eye.
is that why? namgyu allows jihu to hold onto his waist with a specific intensity that might leave a mark on his skin. namgyu doesn’t make any motion to pull away when jihu’s hands explode the surface of his body, underneath his shirt. on the contrary, namgyu inches closer with a teasing smile, an amused laugh falling out of his lips. “you’re frustrating,” he replies rather belatedly, with no hint of the usual malice that usually accompanies his manner of speech.
a spark would set off in his brain, and it feels oddly familiar, but no matter how many hours he ruminates on his lost memories he’d always come up empty handed ( not for a lack of trying ). he settles for this, the feeling of jihu’s lips against his, the crackles resounding in his head. it’s not supposed to feel good, but it does, his lips parting easily as jihu’s tongue slides in between—coupled with jihu’s roaming hands unrelenting, a noise stumbles out of him. light, soft. different. a craving.
he’s equally in need of catching his breath as jihu is—or maybe it’s how jihu looks, as their gaze meet. hungry, heated. with a hint of desperation that doesn’t seem to be the norm for someone like jihu. it fills him with a strange sort of greed—to see how much he many buttons can he push before jihu snaps. it’s fun, exciting, unpredictable.
“you want me?” he turns, properly, slowly climbing onto jihu’s lap. taking his time, allowing jihu to wait. this feels normal too—sitting on jihu’s lap, making himself comfortable. “i’m already here though,” he says, feigning confusion.
his fingers coil around jihu’s wrist, following the trail upwards as another laugh comes out of him. higher, higher, higher. exposing more of namgyu’s skin.
“how do you want me?” he whispers into jihu’s ear once more, the hem of his shirt hangs loosely over their joined hands as namgyu entwines their fingers, the last remaining protective barrier. “like this?” his other hand rests against jihu’s cheek, swiping his thumb along the outline of jihu’s scar.
